Youth Camp Guys Talk

The Three Pitfalls Of Manhood

Explain The Idea Behind Lies and How They Affect Us.

When we buy into a lie, we take ourselves out of the game.

Colts QB Anthony Richardson, took himself out of a game because he was tired. He ended up being benched because of the lack of leadership.

When we believe lies, we are playing into the devil’s hand, because he is the father of lies. We take ourselves out of the battle that’s going on all around us.

Today I want to look at three lies the enemy tells us as men and what we need to do about them. I’m calling these three pitfalls that we as men can fall into without even realizing it. The best lies are the ones you think are the truth.

1 John 2:15–17 ESV

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

The Desires Of The Flesh

The Lie - If I can get what I want, I’ll be happy

Story - I grew up poor, so when I was a teenager, one of the things I really wanted was a car. My parents told me that if I want a car, I need to get a job. So I did. I bought a car. But it wasn’t long before that car wasn’t good enough, so at 17, I decided I wanted a truck.

As soon as I got that truck, I was so proud. I had a much newer vehicle. It was much nicer. I drove it to the mall and within the first week of owning it, I hit the bumper of this 1970s Buick. It did nothing to their car, but it put a big gash in the side of my new truck.

God was teaching me a lesson. Material things will always let you down. They aren’t made to last. They will fade. As soon as you get the Nintendo Switch 2, they are gonna release the OLED 2, or the Switch 3. The lie was that getting what I want will make me happy. It’s never enough.

You help me to define this. What are some desires of the flesh?

The lie is, if I can just get what I want I will be happy.

The Truth - The More I Give The Happier I Will Be

When I first got married, I took a financial peace class at my church and I learned a very important truth, we are more blessed when we give than when we receive.

I used to pray, “Lord, give me more, so I can give you more.” That’s the wrong prayer. Your prayer should be, “Lord help to give out of what I have, not out of what I don’t.”

Giving Is Worship. All of us say we want to worship Jesus, but what does worship really look like? It’s not the music. Worship is an act of service.

God is asking for us to GIVE HIM our time, our talents and our treasures. Being a Christian is more about giving of ourselves than anything we will get out of it. It’s about us being willing to offer our lives as a living sacrifice.

Romans 12:1–2 “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

The Desires Of The Eyes

The Lie - It’s OK to look…

Story - I was a teenager when I saw a naked woman for the first time. It was in a movie, and I can remember immediately knowing that I shouldn’t be looking at this, so I covered my eyes. But, I kept peeking through. The lie is that its ok to look. Gentlemen, let me tell you that is a lie that can ruin your life.

We desire what we look at. The more we look at something, the more we long for it. The problem is its not ours. God tells us in his word that we shouldn’t desire/envy/long for our neighbors stuff. The world tells us its ok to look, but once we start looking, we start to desire it and that desire gives birth to sin.

James 1:14–15 “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

The Truth - The Eyes Are The Windows To The Soul

Guys will often disagree with this. We will say things like, “it’s ok to look, just don’t touch.” Or “it’s ok to look, looking never hurt nobody.” The Truth is what we look at is what feeds our soul. It will either bring life to us or bring death to us.

Bible Verse - Matt 6:22-23

Matthew 6:22 NLT

“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light.

Jesus is saying be careful at what you look at. What you look at feeds your body with either light or darkness. Whatever you consume with your eyes affects your heart.

Proverbs 6:25 NLT

Don’t lust for her beauty. Don’t let her coy glances seduce you.

The Pride Of Life

The Lie - What I Achieve Is More Important Than Who I Am

Story - As I got older, one of the big pitfalls I fell into is this last one. I found my identity in what I was doing, in what I was achieving. I was 20 years old and a youth pastor. I was preaching in front of large crowds. I was building my identity on what I was doing.

And this is the tricky part, because these were all good things. But here’s the problem, the moment those things were taken away, I lost it. I spiraled into a deep depression.

I was building my identity based on what I did, what I accomplished. Look at me, I’m doing so well. I’m achieving great things. And this is really hard to talk about because, there is a side of us that needs to go out and achieve. We need not be passive men, we need to go out and engage with life. But we can only truly do that when we build on the right foundation.

The Pride of Life - Let’s look at the root sin here. It’s pride. Every man battles with pride, even those who seem to struggle with thinking “am I good enough.”

We struggle with pride when we think we are the smartest person in the room. Some of you already think you are smarter than your parents.

We struggle with pride when we build our identity around our accomplishments. It’s based on what I do. The Bible says that God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

When we rise up in pride, God in his grace will allow us to be humbled. He will bring circumstances into your life to humble you.

The Truth - What Truly Matters Is Who I Am

What I do is important, but the person I am is more important. God cares more about our character than our achievements.

Let’s look back at our verse and the admonishment John sends to us. He says…

Do Not Love The World

John encourages us to not Love the world (meaning its system, not the peoples), or the things in the world (meaning material possessions.

If you find that you do, that means the Love of the father is not in you. Jesus called this divided interests. You cannot love God and Money. A house divided will not stand.

All of these things are passing away. They are temporary. The things you desire. The things you crave. They won’t last. Just like yesterday’s lunch, it’s gone. It’s worthless, it’s meaningless now. They will not satisfy.

There is only one thing that will satisfy. It’s being a child of God and doing his will.

Response

Get into groups, counselors feel free to join in, but let’s take a moment and confess and pray. Here’s what I want each person to do - confess. First confess the area that you are struggling with - the desires of the flesh, the lust of the eyes or the pride of life. Be specific and stay away from generalities. If you are struggling with lust, confess it.

Then I want you to pray for one another, without judgment. This is a time for us to be real with one another and to confess.

James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Richard Rohr’s Five Truths of Becoming a Man, outlined in his book Adam’s Return. He distilled these truths from multiple cultures across time, and they offer a stark contrast to the dominant cultural narrative: The Five Truths of Becoming a Man 1. Life is hard. 2. You are not that important. 3. Your life is not about you. 4. You are not in control. 5. You are going to die. The Five Truths are hard to hear and can feel abrasive, but don’t let that distract you. They hold deep wisdom. Jon Tyson, in his work on biblical manhood, reimagined these truths into five key shifts for men to embrace as they grow into maturity and godly masculinity. These shifts, from his book The Intentional Father, provide a clearer path for us to follow: Five Shifts 1. From Easy to Difficult 2. From Self to Others 3. From the Whole Story to Part of the Story 4. From Control to Surrender 5. From the Temporary to the Eternal