Offense is a Trap
Notes
Transcript
Intro
Intro
Good morning church family! It is great to be back in worship with you today. The last two weeks have been refreshing. We took a trip to Crescent City, spent some time at the beach enjoying the Pacific Ocean. We found some star fish, crabs, sea anemone’s, and other sea creatures that were revealed when the tide was down. Sometimes you don’t realize how much rest you truly need until you take some time off.
It was weird to me. I felt weird waking up on Sunday morning and not getting ready to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ. The second week it was a little less weird. I believe if I had gone a third week it would be less weirder and a fourth would have been super easy.
Once you stop doing something it gets easier and easier to stop all together. This can be good for bad things but bad for good things. I can see how easy it is to just slip out of the church and never go back. God is everywhere, but there is something special that takes place when the whole body shows up together to worship Jesus.
Even though we took time off from ministry, we did not take time off from God. God was still speaking. I shared several thoughts over the past two weeks on social media and even wrote a couple new blog posts which are on our new website.
We may take time off, but God never does. This past week I was drawn to a teaching I did that was one year ago. I taught on offense and anger and how if we harbor offense it will lead to anger, bitterness, and eventually division.
Today I want to dive deeper into offense and my prayer is that it will help us to not be so offended easily or for those living with the spirit of offense that you get set free from it.
Growing up in the church, when I say that I mean when I came back to the Lord at 20 years old, my home Pastor, Pastor Brian, told me that I had thick skin. I really didn’t understand what that meant until later in my walk.
I found out later through some things we went through that I am:
not easily hurt, offended, or discouraged
Does this mean that I it never happens? No. It means that I have learned how to manage it. In other words, I hade to learn how to:
Lay it down
I believe that offense is straight from the devil himself. It is a tactic he used to cause hurt, unforgiveness, anger, resentment, and ultimately division in the body of Christ. None of these things are spiritual fruit. If Christians would recognize it as a tactic of hell, we would find ourselves not so easily offended.
It’s a trap
It’s a trap
Here is one thing we must understand about offense.
It’s a trap
The Greek word for offense is skandalon which means trap or snare.
Traps are used to ensnare. To imprison. Traps are used to catch prey. Think about a hunter who goes out and sets traps to catch wild game. The sole purpose of this hunter to kill whatever it traps.
Jesus said:
1 Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!
Offenses will come. These traps will come. It is not a matter of if they come, it is a matter of when they come. This is why it is imperative church, that we as Christians do as Peter said to do.
8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
To be sober spirit means to be calm and collective. When we were on the coast at one of the beaches there was a warning sign that said to be aware of bears. One of the first things it said was to be calm. Why is this important? Because if you panic you will make poor decisions.
Same thing will take place when, not if, but when offenses come. We must remain calm otherwise we will make poor decisions. The opposite of calm is anger. When we react in anger, we are reacting in the flesh.
13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
If I do not react to that bear in the right manner it can lead to me getting hurt or worse…my death. Same thing happens if we react to offense in our flesh…we will get hurt, hurt others, and cause spiritual death.
Offense is a trap. It is a tactic used by the enemy to ensnare you. You cannot walk in your calling if you are spiritually trapped.
Offense Blocks Growth
Offense Blocks Growth
Offense will cause you to become spiritually stunted in your walk with God.
Offense blocks growth
When you hold onto offense, your spiritual growth will be stunted. You cannot grow anymore in your walk with God when you hold onto offenses. The church as a whole cannot grow when we hold onto offenses.
When we were in Crescent City we were not too far from the Redwood forrest. If you have never been, I highly recommend you go to the Jedediah Smith reserve. I have never seen trees so HUGE!
To give you an idea here is a picture of one that Carly took of me and the trees.
Me and the trees
Here is another of a fallen tree.
Fallen Tree
These trees were huge! Pictures do not do them justice. It is something that you have to experience for yourself.
I wanted to know what the tallest tree in the Jedadiah reserve was and it is called New Hope which is over 356 feet tall!
In my research for this, I came across another tree called the Boy Scout tree.
Boy Scout Tree
It has an interesting story that I believe fits in todays message.
Thousands of years ago, in an area nearly 300 miles north of what would eventually become San Francisco, two saplings simultaneously sprung up from the damp ground.
Instead of fighting each other for resources like water, light and food from the soil, the saplings seemingly decided there were enough nutrients to share.
So, the two tiny trees grew together, side by side. Over the years, they became fused together to become one tree, becoming even stronger in the process.
What a beautiful picture of what the church is supposed to be like. As Christians, we too are to grow together, side by side. And as we walk with each other over the years we too should become one.
Jesus prayed one of the most powerful prayers.
20 “I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;
21 that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.
22 “The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one;
23 I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.
24 “Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.
Just as the pictures that I shared of our trip does not do it justice, because it is something to be experienced in person, the same is true of the church.
God gives to us and those around us a picture of what the church is supposed to be like, but it MUST be experienced. The way that it is experienced is when we don’t allow the enemy to trap us in our offenses.
14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Forgiveness is a HUGE part of that growth. Jesus teaches us to forgive one another so we can flourish in our spiritual journey, rather than be hindered by bitterness, anger, and resentment.
We cannot be one if we are divided. If we are divided, the world will NEVER know that Jesus was sent to die for them to be restored to the Father.
Practice
Practice
The way we become thick skinned or un-offendable is by practice.
To become un-offendable is something we can learn with the help of Jesus.
Some of us are farther along than others and that is ok. God doesn’t expect us to get it right over night, but at some point in your walk with God you have to lay it down. At some point in your life you will have to grow in this area of your walk with God or you will not go any further. Remember it is a trap. Traps are designed to keep you in one place.
One of the greatest things I have heard from a preacher was, “I am so free from me that I am free from you.”
I shared this thought on social media the other day:
I don’t want to be right, I want to be righteous
Let that sink in for a moment.
(Leaders of New Life…let that sink in.)
If you really think about it, deep down offense is about self.
The root of offense is self.
I am right they are wrong
Look at what they did to me
Look at what they said to me
Look at what they said about me
I am offended
When it comes to practicing being unoffendable…the way we practice is by laying down of self.
9 Let Your priests be clothed with righteousness, And let Your godly ones sing for joy.
In the New Testament we are all called to be priests.
5 you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
Those who follow Christ are the priesthood and are called to put on righteousness!
In order to put on righteousness we first have to take off self. You cannot put on the righteousness of Christ over your flesh otherwise it becomes corrupted and you become self righteous.
This is why we are called to crucify our flesh!
24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we have crucified our flesh, then we have crucified our right to be right. No where in Scripture does it say that Jesus died for us to be right.
Jesus didn’t die for us to be right, He died for us to be righteous.
As I was putting this message together I took a break and I was scrolling facebook and Jenn shared a video the other day about this very subject.
Anyone familiar with Preston and Jackie Perry?
They are a Christian husband and wife and they have a podcast and in this video they were speaking about offense and un-forgiveness. Preston said something that was really good.
“It’s real easy to have way more grace for us and our offenses than we have when people offend us.” - Preston Perry
It is easy to crucify our flesh when it is us who did the wrong against God or even other people, but when it comes to others it is more difficult. Why?
We Know Us
We Know Us
I believe it is easier to give ourselves more grace than others because:
We know our motives, but not theirs
When you offend someone (we all have - and I am not speaking about speaking truth or sharing the Gospel or praying in public), did you ever say something like:
“Well, I didn’t mean to do that…or
That wasn’t my intention.”
When we offend someone, very rarely do we look at ourselves and the situation to see if we need to change something or apologize or ask for forgiveness.
Then you demand that they accept your answer. And when they don’t accept that answer, you get all mad at them.
But when it came to someone offending you, you turn around and say:
“They should have known better.”
We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions. It is easier to crucify someone else’s flesh rather than our own.
Leaders - A true sign of spiritual maturity is looking at yourself first to see if you caused the offense or when someone offends you and you take it to God and you leave it at God.
Hear is the thing. God never called us to crucify someone else’s flesh, we are commanded to crucify our own. We just read Galatians 5:24.
24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Paul lists out what the passions and desires are of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-24.
He begins with the deeds of the flesh, in other words when you follow the desires of your sinful nature, these will manifest:
sexual immorality
impurity
lustful pleasures
idolatry
sorcery
hostility
quarreling
jealousy
outbursts of anger
selfish ambition
division
dissension
Seven of these happen when we choose to be offended by someone.
When was the last time you were offended and became angry?
When was the last time someone offended you and you had selfish ambitions? (I am right they are wrong. Which this leads right into idolatry.)
When was the last time you were offended by something online at it lead to divisiveness and disunity?
When was the last time you were offended and ran to tell everyone else instead of taking it to God and leading to dissension and division?
Offense is a trap church! Do NOT FALL INTO IT!
Grace
Grace
Instead, show grace.
Grace flows when we see others the way God sees them, not just how they act.
I see this all the time. Online & offline, we get so offended by what someone said or did.
When we allow someone to offend us, we are giving them power and authority in our lives.
Why are we giving so much POWER and AUTHORITY to people (sometimes complete strangers) and none to Jesus? When we give this power and authority to people, we cannot show grace.
You see, offense will cause you to uphold what someone said or did while ignoring everything that Jesus said about us and did for us.
What People Say & Do:
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’ll never change.”
“You’re too broken.”
“You don’t belong.”
“You should be ashamed.”
Reject you
Judge you
Abandon you
Talk about you
Use you
Misunderstand you
Condemn you
Keep score of your wrongs
When we are offended we give POWER to those who offend us. This is why it is important that we crucify flesh and lay down our thoughts.
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh,
4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,
What if instead of allowing people to have that power and authority that we tunr it over to Jesus? What if instead of getting offended by what people say and do that we believe in what Jesus said and did?
What Jesus Said & Did:
“You are chosen.” — Colossians 3:12
“You are a new creation.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17
“I restore your soul.” — Psalm 23:3
“You are part of my family.” — Ephesians 2:19
“There is no condemnation.” — Romans 8:1
Accepted you — Romans 15:7
Showed mercy — Titus 3:5
Promised to never leave you — Hebrews 13:5
Intercedes for you — Romans 8:34
Laid down His life for you — John 15:13
Understood your pain — Hebrews 4:15
Forgave you — Luke 23:34, 1 John 1:9
Covers your sin with grace — Psalm 103:12
These things and more should hold more POWER and AUTHORITY in your life than the things people say and do. These things are TRUTH and it is the TRUTH that sets you free.
“To be free, one must let go of the need to be right, surrender expectations, and become love, empowered by Christ and living in intimate fellowship with Him.” - Dan Mohler
This only happens though when we take it to God in the first place. I am learning to do this more and more. If you come to me with an offense or even decisions you need to make you will be met with “Did you take it to God?” and if so, then “What did God say about it?”
Church, if we never take it to God and get His thoughts, His perspective, and allow Him to speak to the offense, then we will ALWAYS walk in the flesh in handling the offense.
Walking the in the flesh brings nothing but death.
6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,
If you want to have freedom and a mind that is at peace, then you MUST walk in the Spirit.
I cannot stress this enough that laying down our flesh, laying down our right to be right, and picking up the righteousness of Christ is so freeing.
I want to be so free from me that I am free from you.
Closing
Closing
✅ Practical Action Steps:
Daily prayer for a soft heart. Get God’s perspective.
Choose not to replay the offense in your mind.
Have tough conversations in love, not anger if someone offended you.
Let go of the need to be right.
It’s easier to give ourselves grace because we want mercy. But spiritual maturity is when we realize others need it just as much.
Offense is a heart test—and when you pass it, you grow. When you hold it, you shrink.
I am going to close with this question and then we will pray.
“Are you holding onto an offense God is calling you to release today?”
**Invite those who are holding onto hurt, resentment, or unforgiveness to come forward and receive prayer.**
