Do Not Commit Adultery

This week we Jennifer and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary and trust me I know I out kicked my coverage with her because she is way out of my league. It really is hard for me to fathom it has been 20 years since we got married, but I remember the day like it was yesterday. We were married on the front porch of an old civil war era house at Camp Nelson national cemetery in Garrard county. Some of you probably have seen it before, but it is a beautiful house that is a museum now and that day was the hottest day of the year. I bring that up because there was no real place there to get ready except for the women, we couldn’t have both the women and men inside the house so that meant I got to arrive all tuxed up. All of us men got to wait outside in our tuxes and take pictures in the heat and then wait for the wedding to start. It was a beautiful and quick ceremony and I think we were both blown away that so many of our friends and family showed up to be there with us, and ate all of our food before we were even able to get done taking pictures. I bring all of this up this morning because we have been walking through the decalogue in this series I have called the Ten Words which really just relates to what we call the ten commandments. We have been on a journey and talking about how the Ten Commandments weren’t really supposed to be this restrictive way for us to live, but supposed to show us how to have a full and vibrant life as we live in covenant with God. The first four of the commandments really dealt with how we are supposed to live in direct relation with God and told us really that we should put God above all else for our lives, we cannot add Gods to him or find fulfillment in anything else, nor bow down to any image of him we have tried to create because it wouldn’t hold a candle to what he really is, which is really what He is talking about when he is teaching us not to use his name in vain, it isn’t just for us to not say those tragic two words we heard we weren’t supposed to say growing up, but its about holding reverence in the name of God; which is exactly why Jewish people to this day will not say the literal name of God. He finished out the first four of those words teaching us to take time to rest so we can worship, reflect, and trust Him, which is essence is a way of not allowing us to give power to ourselves for the things he has done in our lives; a means to continue to see how he is the sustainer. Then there is the shift from how to live with God to how to live in covenant with God in relation to the people around us. First, he tells us we are supposed to honor our mother and father and we spoke at length about how this does not just have to deal with children but how we can honor them throughout our lives which ultimately honors Him. Last week we talked about how we shouldn’t murder, and saw how Jesus went even deeper and told us its not just the physical act but it is how we deal with all of this in our hearts first, because how our hearts are lead to this place where we can actually commit the crime. And today we get two words lō tnə-’āp̄. You shall not commit adultery; super simple words with a lot of meaning behind them.

Now we have to remember the context in which these words came, we have been walking through the decalogue in Exodus 20 but before that in Exodus 19 is where we see all of these words are written in regard to living in covenant with God. Look at what happens there.

Exodus 19:4–6 ESV

4 ‘You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. 5 Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine; 6 and you shall be to me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words that you shall speak to the people of Israel.”

So he is telling these people lets’ keep this covenant you and you will be my treasured people and be a holy priesthood and a holy nation. Perhaps it would be good to give a definition for what this word covenant means here. This is the word berit, and it is a contractual agreement that requires some type of bonding. Hear that this morning, it is contractual, it needs some type of bonding. What an amazing promise, and these are the back drop for the words in Exodus 20:14

Exodus 20:14 ESV

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

And you may find it interesting when we look at these words while it does have something to do with sexual relations, what we are going to see with Jesus is it goes so much deeper than just a physical act.

However, what we may miss is this idea of not committing adultery and being faithful to our spouse is not much different than the idea and the premise behind the very first word we looked at, you shall not have other gods besides or in addition to me. He is speaking this about our covenant relationships here on earth between a man and a woman in the same way. Only one, nothing in addition, and there is some good reason for that.

The first thing we have to remember is this marriage relationship between man and woman was a gift from God, remember in Genesis 2 God is creating everything and he sees Adam and realizes he doesn’t have a suitable helper in verse 20 so in verse 21 he puts Adam to sleep and takes one of his ribs and then we pick up the story.

Genesis 2:22–24 ESV

22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

So, God created woman for man as a gift, and truly that is a reciprocal process when you follow scripture we were created for each other and it was his gift for us while we were living this life. This is where the idea of marriage covenant between the man and the woman is initially introduced and you may not see it here but let me just dig a little deeper for you to show you how God thinks of this relationship, look at the words of Malachi 2:14

Malachi 2:14 ESV

14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

Here it is plain and clear, she is Your wife by covenant and this is why this is such a huge deal. We have ran through a lot of information very quickly so let me just stop and recount where we are.

We as believers are living in covenant with God.

Married people are living in covenant with each other. Thus bonding is deep saying the two become one flesh.

What this means is our marriages are supposed to be this image to the world of the covenant between man and God, it should be a picture of how we live in relation to Him and he with us, this is why it is so important for us to not break the marriage covenant because while it destroys human relations and hearts it also gives this bad image of God. We have to remember that marriage is not an institution of man, but was initiated by God in those Genesis verses we looked at, no matter what the world tries to decide marriage is or isn’t it wasn’t created by man, it was created by God FOR man. So we see how our infidelity is not only hurting people but is a smack in the face to our creator. And I know what you are thinking, Adam I would never, I have got this this is so easy I would never sleep with another person, but again we find Jesus taking these words we are looking at and going even deeper than we thought. The thing about Jesus when he was here was he didn’t just show us the rule but he pointed at the heart behind the rule which is what the Pharisees missed when they were trying to setup guard rails.

For the pharisees, and for many of us today, they were searching for how far they could go without breaking the law, and missing the whole point of why you should or shouldn’t be doing something, and Jesus swooped in and said, “Look its about your heart, its not just about what you do, its about what you want to do.”

So here is what he said on the matter of adultery.

Matthew 5:27–28 ESV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jesus just jumps in and says look, its not just the act, its what your heart does that is truly important its about what you want to do that’s important. Notice, he didn’t say everyone who notices the beauty of a woman, he said with lustful intent. There is a difference in knowing someone is beautiful and having a lustful intent when you see the person and notice the same thing. One is admiration of what God has done, the other is wishing you could do something with it.

When I think about this verse it really makes me think about the big Ashley Madison scandal back in 2014. Ashley Madison was a dating website for people who are already married. Let that sink in for a moment. Back in 2014 someone hacked into Ashley Madison and released the names of all the people who had been using the service; this is where the first Josh Duggar scandal came from because it was released he had been using the service to find adult friends. However, I tell you about all of this not to just mention how bad of a character Josh Duggar was, but a poll of its users showed some startling information. They questioned 100K of their users about their religious beliefs and backgrounds, and here is what they found.

Evangelist 25.1% I am not sure what this means to the people who answered or asked the question

Catholic 22.75% This one is a lot more clear

Protestant 22.7% This may be people who think they aren’t catholic so they are obviously protestant.

Here’s the alarming thing to me, whether we can be clear what each group meant to the people responding or the people asking the question, what we can conclude is almost 75% of the users who were on the website consider themselves followers of Jesus, whether they are actually followers of Christ or not is not pertinent to the survey, but what’s important, is these people considered themselves to be followers.

Thats alarming, its a problem, its a huge issue and if your first response is well just because they were on the website doesn’t mean they actually Did anything, you have missed the whole point just like the pharisees Jesus was talking to. These people signed up with the intent to do bad things and step out on their marriage.

However, you may be like the pharisee in Luke 18 this morning when you hear about these people and say Luke 18:10-12

Luke 18:10–12 ESV

10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’

And if you find yourself in that group, you may have missed the entirety of the point as well, its about our heart, its about what we do, its about repentance and focusing on God and we should all get to the place where we say,

Luke 18:13 ESV

13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’

Where we look at ourselves and our hearts and say God have mercy on me so that Jesus can say this about us as well

Luke 18:14 ESV

14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Friends, this morning what is important for us all to realize is our marriages are a gift of God and a covenant to show the world what our covenant with God is supposed to look like and when we break that covenant it is a horror in the face of God who created us. We have to check our hearts and make sure we are not letting them get out of line with what God has designed us for.