Courage and Character

Connection

Series: Grace and Grit.

Grace: Unmerited favor.

Grit: The will and faith to press on

Opening Hook: Universal Experience of Anger

We’ve all had days where we wanted to lash out.

That gut-level response to injustice — feeling disrespected, overlooked, or outright used — is deeply relatable.

Examples of Everyday Injustice

Workplace injustice: A coworker takes credit for your hard work.

Personal betrayal: Someone you’ve helped shows ingratitude or pretends they don’t know you.

Family conflict: A loved one refuses to understand or validate your perspective.

Emotional Reaction

These moments provoke more than frustration — they trigger righteous anger.

The instinct to seek justice (or revenge) is natural and human.

In those moments, turning the other cheek feels impossible — we want to “make them pay.”

Transition to Scripture

These aren’t just abstract emotions; this is real life.

The story we’re diving into reflects that same emotional turmoil.

David — the man after God’s own heart — experiences this exact kind of white-hot rage.

Word

Recap last two weeks.

1 Samuel 25:1–3 NIV

1 Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Paran. 2 A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite.

Unkind man who focused on profit and money above everything else.

1 Samuel 25:4–8 NIV

4 While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! 7 “ ‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8 Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’ ”

David tells him that he did not hurt his sheep nor his people. In other words, I am not a threat I am an ally.

I need some food or water or supplies while I am out in the wilderness. Can you help?

Remember Nabal was a wealthy man, he had the means to help.

1 Samuel 25:9–13 NIV

9 When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited. 10 Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” 12 David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. 13 David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.

Excuse me?

We did nothing to your people, in fact while we where out there you people where safe, your riches where safe and you wont even give us some of it?

We have to be careful b/c we can all really easily become Nabal with out resources — our money.

There are times when we struggle to release what’s in our hands b/c we are greedy — sorry, it’s just what the Bible calls us. Here’s the deal, We have to pre-decide to be generous.

Leah and I have an extra generous fund, we have our tithe then our extra generous. That’s where we help people out, we buy things that people need, take people out to lunch whatever it is to serve and help people.

David is furious and he’s about to go handle Nabal and his attitude. Parenting phrase: “You need an attitude adjustment.”

This sets the stage for understanding the need for courage in choosing wisdom over vengeance. Encourage your congregation to reflect on their own impulses and the importance of seeking God's guidance before reacting to insults or conflicts.

Isn’t this just like us sometimes? We jump at injustice, we want to fight and correct it when someone has wronged us, we want to take it into our own hands.

What’s funny is David knows this principle, he just did it with Saul, held his vengeance and trusted the Lord, now however he is attempting to get revenge.

We think that’s what we want, but it’s not. It never satisfies.

Paraphrase this section.

1 Samuel 25:14–19 NIV

14 One of the servants told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. 15 Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. 16 Night and day they were a wall around us the whole time we were herding our sheep near them. 17 Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” 18 Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. 19 Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.

Abby’s ladies tell her what happened, informs her that davd’s men did not bother them, in fact they protected them.

Abby realizes what this bone head did, he mouth got ahead of his brain.

Gentlemen: Isn’t it true that we can let that happen? We can let our mouths get ahead of our brain.

She sets out to fix the problem.

1 Samuel 25:21–31 NIV

21 David had just said, “It’s been useless—all my watching over this fellow’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. 22 May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!” 23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent.

If I had known, I would have stopped him, I had no idea you’re men where protecting us.

1 Samuel 25:21–31 NIV

26 And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you. 28 “Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling.

My dude is dumb, he forgets that you are David the Giant Slayer.

Masterclass in interpersonal communication.

1 Samuel 25:21–31 NIV

30 When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, 31 my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.”

David, you’re about to be the king — killing Nabal is beneath you. Not only that, this is needless bloodshed, this doesn’t do anything but stain your hands with blood.

In this moment the Lord is using Abigail to get in the way of David and bring to his attention that he doesn’t want to sin in this way.

1 Samuel 25:32–35 NIV

32 David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. 33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” 35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.”

Abby goes home — Nabal is drunk — falls into coma and dies.

David shows up and marries Abby. Happily ever after.

Thank you for calling my attention to this blunder I was about make. I was about to do something that was ungodly and unbecoming of myself.

Pause here for a second… you need people like Abigail in your life. You need someone who is going to look at you and say slow down chief you’re on the highway to hell and you need to get back on the path.

You need people around who aren’t impressed by you

Those are the people who will be Abigial and step in and stop you from killing Nabal. Come on, don’t act like you don’t have a Nabal that you would love to kill… you need an Abby to step in and have the courage to step up.

Listen to me — you can’t do this alone. Don’t try you will get you butt kicked.

1 Peter 5:8 NIV

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Discovery channel, which gazelle does the lion go after? The one who is alone! Don’t be that one. Get on a team and get into a group.

Here’s the tension in all this… you have to be willing to change. You have to be willing and humble enough to listen to the correction.

You need to be surrounded by courageous peopl,e and you need to be a person of character. You know what this is called in the NT? —> Discipleship

Courage to correct.

Abigail is a peacemaker, like Jesus. Ask the audience to consider situations in their lives where they can act as peacemakers and mediate conflicts with grace and wisdom.

Believe it or not we are called to do that same.

Matthew 5:9 NIV

9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

A crisis was avoided here because Abigail had the courage to speak up. Now, notice that she did so in a caring way; she wasn’t rude or judgmental. She appealed to David and spoke intelligently, and she spoke clearly.

What if...what if the church (the gathering of Jesus' followers) were people who dared to stand up to someone when they were about to do something terrible? What if we were peacemakers?

Boss at work

spouse

child

Meeting at work — finding a way to be a peacemaker and move the ball forward

Inspiration

Two things for you to do.

Identify your "Abigails." Who are the people in your life who have the courage to speak truth to you, even when it's hard to hear? Are you actively listening to them? If you don't have these people, pray for them, and intentionally seek out relationships where this kind of honest, loving accountability can thrive.

Be an "Abigail." Look for opportunities to lovingly, respectfully, and wisely intervene when you see someone you care about on the verge of making a terrible mistake, whether it's a friend, family member, or colleague. Use your influence not to berate, but to call them back to wisdom and grace.

Imagine how different the world would look if we behaved this way. If we had some accountability in our lives? How many mistake would you have avoided if someone was there to loving call you back center or away from the mistake.