An Unhurried Life

Introduction

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Luke 10:38–42 ESV

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

There is a very common kind of interaction that I am sure you are familiar with. In fact, you’ve probably had this interaction this morning already.

Someone says, “Hi, how are you?” and you reply “I’m good how are you?” and they say, “I’m good,” but then, often, there’s a little addendum to that “good.” You might say, “I’m good, just busy.”

Busy.

It seems like we have given that word some inherent nobility, to where we even qualify greeting other people with the caveat that although we’re good, we’re “so busy.” Busyness has become an end unto itself - when you hear that word from someone, or when you say it yourself, you automatically assume that busy = good. You don’t have to qualify by saying that you are busy doing good things, we consider it inherently good and noble to be busy.

If you don’t agree with me, think about if we answered “how are you” differently. What if instead of saying “I’m good, just busy,” we said, “I’m good. I’m so rested. Genuinely, I feel refreshed and energized, not really exhausted or stressed.” You’d probably be like, “something is wrong with that person.” Don’t you know that you’re supposed to be stressed and busy like the rest of us?? Implicitly, you might even think that person is lazy or less-than simply because they aren’t busy.

“Busyness” on its own is not bad. In fact, it can be good, very good. From the beginning, Adam and Eve were given work to do in the garden of Eden. On some level, they were busy. Jesus himself had a pretty packed schedule. He was busy. But he did not sin. And he did not appear to be plagued by this stressed, chaotic, frantic way of life that characterizes what we sometimes mean when we say “busy.”

Sometimes we may use the word busy but a better word for what we’re describing is probably hurry.

Busy means we have a lot to do, a lot on our schedule. A full life, which ebbs and flows as our life seasons change. But it is not inherently negative nor is it wrong. In fact, it is good and godly to have a busy life.

Hurry is something completely different. Hurry denotes being overwhelmed, overcommitted, stressed. Everything feels like an emergency, whether it is or isn’t. Your life is marked by stress, anxiety, chaos.

And since we have not differentiated between busy and hurry we try to medicate hurry by becoming less busy. We think that removing things from our calendar, clearing our schedules, sitting on our couch staring at a wall, whatever, will fix what is wrong. After all, if the problem is that we have a lot of things to do then we should just do less things, right?

Take a vacation! Take a week off, a day off, reduce your responsibilities, say “no” to more things.

The problem is that while that may “fix” busyness, it doesn’t fix hurry. Hurry sticks around. In fact, a hurried person will take a break and come back feeling worn just as thin, or even worse, than they did when the left.

Busy is an external condition that can be mitigated by decreasing activity, rearranging schedules, reprioritizing and developing healthy, sustainable schedules and rhythms.

Hurry is an internal condition of the soul that colors everything you experience with a veneer of stress, anxiety, exhaustion and overwhelm which cannot be fixed by taking time off or rearranging your schedule.

Busy is an external condition, hurry is an internal condition of the soul.

Dallas Willard explains it like this…

Slide

“Hurry is the great enemy of souls in our day. Being busy is mostly a condition of our outer world; it is having many things to do. Being hurried is a problem of the soul. It’s being so preoccupied with myself and what myself has to do that I am no longer able to be fully present with God and fully present with you. There is no way a soul can thrive when it is hurried.” - Dallas Willard

Living in a way consistent with how God has made us is not just obedient to him, but it is good for us. It allows us to live an abundant life in Christ.

Hurry does not make us more like Jesus. Hurry does not point us to an abundant life in Christ. Hurry is not a part of the good life.

Hurry is not just not helpful…

Slide

Hurry is harmful.

Hurry is harmful to us, harmful to our relationships with others, and harmful to our relationship with God. Not a single aspect of our life is left unscathed from hurry.

But…

Slide

Jesus invites us into an unhurried life.

You might wonder why I don’t just say “slow.” Slow may seem to be the opposite of hurry, and while that may be true at times, “just slow down,” is not always a possibility for us.

Parents with young kids, entrepreneurs, college students, so many are at stages of life where it is completely unhelpful for someone to pretentiously say, “well if you just slowed down then you might be a little less hurried.” “Oh great, when my kids are hungry for dinner I’ll just tell them ‘sorry, Mom needs to slow down.’”

Slowing down may be too generic to be the antidote to hurry. Slide

“Hurry is not just a disordered schedule. Hurry is a disordered heart.” John Ortberg

Jesus invites us to embrace an unhurried life to reorder our hearts to what is truly important: being with him.

In Luke 10, we see a very familiar story that gives us an example of “busyness” becoming “hurriedness,” because of a disordered heart.

This story is captivating and relatable because we can see ourselves so clearly in it, so we’re going to take a few minutes to look at what a “hurried” life looks like

But it is also informative for us because we can see firsthand how Jesus responds to hurry in the life of one of his faithful followers, so we will be able to see the warmth and wisdom of Jesus applied to this problem of hurry.

Slide

I. Jesus sees our hurried hearts.

Have you ever had a surprise guest?

This may sound like your worst nightmare.

But, Martha does invite Jesus in, and at some point Jesus begins teaching, and Mary sits at his feet to listen.

While this is happening, Martha is running around presumably trying to get dinner ready, finding room for everyone to sleep, and everything else that you have to do when you have surprise guests.

Example of normal tasks becoming louder when you’re annoyed.

This may be what Martha begins to do. She begins fuming inside.

She’s dashing around, taking care of everything, doing everything for everyone else and Mary is just sitting there. Of course, she’d love to just sit but there are things that need to be done.

Her outburst doesn’t come out of nowhere. She was “distracted by her many tasks,” “worried and upset,” and finally decides that she’s had enough. She’s going to tattle on her sister to Jesus, the Son of God himself.

We can’t really blame Martha. She is trying to care for her guests who include Jesus himself. This stuff has to get done! She has noble intentions and she isn’t doing anything wrong.

But, the way she responds, the fact that she gets so frustrated, shows us something that is going on in her heart. Her heart is disordered. It’s hurried.

When Martha complains to Jesus about Mary, she is expecting him to take her side. Obviously Mary should jump up and help Martha!

But Jesus’ reply is pretty shocking - instead of giving a parental “Mary, go help your sister,” he instead gives a gentle rebuke to Martha.

And it is gentle.

Jesus using Martha’s name twice is emblematic of emotion on his part, but not anger or disappointment, but rather compassion.

Jesus sees Martha.

Jesus knows that Martha is not doing anything wrong - she is trying to use her gifts and talents to serve the Lord in the best way she knows how, but she has taken that good desire and gone off track because a disordered, anxious heart.

Jesus tells her this in verse 41 - he says, “you are worried and upset about many things.” Jesus doesn’t engage with all the things that need to be done, he just refers to the orientation of Martha’s heart.

Even in Jesus’ compassion, he uses strong words for “worried,” and “upset,” with carry with them the idea that Martha has moved out of a healthy desire to use her gifts and talents to a place where she is embracing worldly anxiety and worry.

Jesus sees that Martha is worried and upset about many things, and that it is harming her.

Do you see yourself here?

Hurry is harmful in two ways: it harms us, and it harms our relationships, including our relationship with God.

Hurry harms you.

It doesn’t feel good! You wouldn’t wake up in the morning, stretch, and say well, guess I’m gonna be on edge today! I feel bad for the first person that mildly inconveniences me! Like, you wouldn’t choose to feel this way, would you?

Again, hurry does not necessarily equal busy. It can, but it doesn’t have to. You can be busy without being hurried, and you can definitely be hurried without being busy. You can have a lot of things going on, but that does not necessarily mean you need to be “hurried.”

Hurry is an orientation of your heart not a reflection of your circumstances.

So what does hurry look like in contrast to busy?

Here’s a simple, diagnostic question: Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?

Do you set the temperature in the room or reflect the temperature in the room?

Do you have any ability to bring a healthy sense of calm into a situation, or are you at the mercy of whatever is happening that moment?

You know yourself, and if you are self-aware enough, you know how you react in stressful, frustrating situations.

Your default may be to blame the situation, or the people involved, like Martha. “Why isn’t my sister helping me?”

This is understandable! If we look at Martha’s situation, she’s running around trying to take care of everyone and they are just sitting listening to Jesus talk. That’s frustrating, that’s stressful, and it is understandable that she would react with frustration!

But simply because it is understandable does not make it right. Scripture does not make allowances for our circumstances to allow us to sin.

There isn’t a footnote on the passage in Galatians 5 talking about the fruits of the Spirit that says “unless the situation is really frustrating, then all bets are off.”

Galatians 5:22–23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

This is just one symptom of what it looks like to live a hurried life, and how that hurried life can impact us on a day to day basis.

Hurry Sickness

This is actually so pervasive that in the 1970s, Dr. Meyer Friedman, along with his colleague Dr. R.H. Rosenman, coined a term called “Hurry Sickness.”

What’s interesting is that Friedman and Rosenman were cardiologists, and they studied how hurry sickness and these types of behaviors were related to health issues, specifically cardiovascular issues.

They developed some symptoms of hurry sickness, and those symptoms have been picked up, expanded and applied specifically to faith by some folks like John Mark Comer. I got this specific idea for a checklist from a church in Maryland called Mosaic Christian Church, and repurposed it for us. Don’t know anything about Mosaic, hope they’re doing well, hope you’re having a good Sunday service this morning.

dontgo.be/hurrysickness

Hurry Sickness

Irritability. You get mad, frustrated, or annoyed too easily.

Hypersensitivity. A minor circumstance will affect your feelings in a disproportionate way.

Restlessness. Your mind and body are constantly in motion. Rest isn’t restful.

Workaholism or non-stop activity. You prioritize accomplishment and accumulation.

Emotional numbness. You don’t have the capacity to feel anyone’s pain - including your own.

Out of order priorities. You’re reactive to the urgent, instead of proactive to the important.

Lack of care for your body. You don’t meet your own basic physical needs.

Escapist behaviors. You avoid life-giving activities by turning to distract that numb you.

Slippage of Spiritual Disciplines. Bible study, prayer, worship, giving, serving, etc. become the first to go instead of your go-to.

Isolation. You feel disconnected from God, others, and your own soul. 

I want to be clear that every human being will experience one or more of these at some point. Just like it’s tempting to feel a pain in your arm and be like, “that’s it, I’m done! WebMD told me I’m dying!” just because you have experienced something on this list doesn’t mean that you necessarily have a heart that is oriented toward hurry.

But, and this is where your own self-awareness and the Holy Spirit come into play. If you look at this list and you would say that a number of these characterize your life in a consistent way, beyond some one-offs, then it is very possible that you are experiencing the symptoms of a disordered heart.

But although hurry harms us, as we live in like an inner turmoil, it also harms our relationships with others.

Hurry harms your relationships.

It’s kind of crazy how hurry causes us to lash out at those closest to us.

We blame them

We ignore their wants/needs

We resent them

We dehumanize them

A well-ordered heart engages with other people on that level - we are able to empathize with each other as human beings knowing that we all share this experience of being a human being while a disordered, hurried heart throws out this out. We dehumanize people by simply seeing them as a means to get what we want or need, or an annoyance if they get in our way. Their “humanness” is replaced by utility - what they can or can’t do for us.

You may believe the lie that your hurriedness only impacts you, your mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical health. It does do that, but it also impacts those closest to you.

We’ve all been around stressed people. People have been around us when we are stressed.

It isn’t fun, is it? It’s kind of like watching a jack in the box get wound up. You don’t know when it’s gonna pop but you know that it’s going to, and so you just kind of sit there and flinch, waiting for the explosion.

It’s very possible that Mary was so transfixed by Jesus that she didn’t even notice Martha, but it’s probably more likely that she saw Martha out of the corner of her eye, darting back and forth, and while she was sitting and learning from Jesus, she also knew it was just a matter of time before Martha erupted.

Do you see yourself here?

When was the last time that you considered how your hurry might be impacting those around you? Has your hurried heart blinded you to the needs and wants of those around you? Has it blinded you to their humanity? Are you so wrapped up in the tyranny of urgency that you have lost the ability to be empathetic to those around you?

Here’s another diagnostic question: Do you see the room as full of mirrors or full of windows?

In a room full of mirrors, everything reflects back to you. Everyone’s actions and words you take personally, whether they have anything to do with you or not. You see them only in the light of what they can or can’t do for you, how they can or can’t help you. You get offended and frustrated easily.

In a room full of windows, you are able to look through your situation to see what God is doing. It doesn’t reflect back on you, so you can truly hear other people without taking everything personally. Even criticism and advice can be a positive thing as you look through it to see how God could use it to grow you. People aren’t frustrations to you, instead you wonder and marvel at what God is doing in their life.

Mary and Martha as an example

I have tried to be charitable to Martha, because I really do think that it’s important to realize that she was not “wrong” from a very high level view.

In that day and age, it would have been Mary’s job to help prepare the home for guests. It was normative that Martha would have expected her to help out!

Here’s what happens: Martha sees Mary sitting with Jesus and gets annoyed and frustrated that Mary isn’t doing what she’s supposed to do, help Martha, which is understandable to any one of us. She sees Mary’s actions reflecting back on herself, how they impact her.

But what if Martha had instead looked through that situation to what God was doing?

Here we see Jesus welcoming both men and women to learn at his feet, breaking down the ungodly cultural divisions between men and women that existed at the time. Of course we know that there biblical distinctions between men and women, but this culture had devolved into ungodly misogyny and discrimination that did not honor women as image-bearers of God.

Instead of curiosity giving way to wonder and awe at what God was doing, Martha instead gets annoyed.

Hurry harms us, but it never only harms us. When we live a disordered, hurried life, we delude ourselves into thinking that we are the only ones who pay the price. Our spouses, our kids, friends, co-workers, they all pay part of the price for our disordered heart.

In his warmth, Jesus sees and knows your hurried heart.

He doesn’t push us away, get annoyed with us even if we are annoyed, he doesn’t berate us or drive us into shame - he sees. He understands. He sees and understands all the turmoil and stress we’ve wrapped ourselves up with. But, he also sees how it is harming us, how it is harming our relationships with other people, and how it is harming our relationship with him.

Some interpretations of this story aren’t exactly helpful because they pit Mary and Martha against each other, as if contemplative Mary sitting winsomely at Jesus’ feet has it all figured out, while type-A, driven, tenacious Martha is completely in the wrong.

But here is the hope: whether you are drawn to contemplation or action, if you are type-A or type-B, naturally given to sitting at Jesus’ feet or if you need those feet to trip you sometimes so you actually sit down, there is room in the kingdom of heaven for you.

Both Mary and Martha are blessed. Both of them have gifts and talents that can be used by the Lord. Jesus loved both of them and wanted each of them to experience abundant life in him, and he wants the same for you as well.

So if you’ve ever been accused of being a “Martha,” hear this: God made you, gifted you, and loves you. You are not a second-class Christian because you like getting things done while the real Christians sit up in the clouds thinking contemplative thoughts.

But, just like more contemplative Christians must be reminded that Jesus wants them to actually do good things, accomplish good works for the kingdom, you need to be reminded that ultimately, the best, most important thing is to be with Jesus. Our gifts, talents, preferences all must be submitted to discipleship and not impede discipleship.

So, if you are worried and upset about many things, if your heart needs to be reordered, hear this: Jesus sees your heart. He knows you inside and out. And he is invitational to you. He is gentle and kind with you. Maybe instead of “Martha, Martha,” you can hear your name, not annoyed, not disappointed, but knowing and loving.

Jesus sees our hurried heart, but…

Slide

II. Jesus heals our hurried hearts.

The firmest part of Jesus’ rebuke is that while Martha is worried and upset about many things (both related to this situation and not), only one thing is necessary.

The “one thing” that is necessary is what Mary is doing - being with Jesus.

Martha has allowed her disordered, hurried heart to distract her, to drag her away from from what is most important among many important things - being with Jesus.

Example of Emily on a trip, making Cajun food

I was so focused on serving my wife that I forgot to love my wife

Hurry distracts us from Jesus as it distracted Martha from Jesus. That word for “distract” means to be “dragged away.” Martha doesn’t want to be pulled away from Jesus’ teaching but she has so many worries and tasks that she is pulled away from Jesus.

Do you see yourself here?

A hurried heart can harm your relationship with God in two ways:

You spend no time with him because you don’t have the capacity - you don’t have the “time” and if and when you do you’re worn so thin that you don’t feel like you can do anything that requires a modicum of effort.

You really do want to spend time with him, but your disordered heart is so wrapped up in doing things for God that you don’t know how to simplify your relationship with God enough to just be with him.

It’s interesting and revealing to ask people about their relationship with God.

Too often, that relationship is framed within activity. “I mean, I go to church, I try to read my Bible, I pray, etc.”

Imagine describing any other relationship that way.

Spouse - we were married on this date, we live at this address, we file taxes jointly…

Is that really describing a relationship?

Application

I’ve asked you a few times, do you see yourself here?

If you do, or if you have, or if you may at some point, there is hope here for you.

What did Jesus want from Martha? More than her performance, more than a five course meal, a well-made bed, a spotless home?

He wanted her to be with him.

And this is where the wisdom of Jesus comes into play.

Jesus does not give Martha a “fix” for what she is concerned about, he doesn’t come up with some plan to get all the work done, or make Mary or anyone else get up and go help Martha.

That’s what Martha thought she needed. It’s what she asked for. There are things that you think you need to fix your situation, make your stress go away. Money, a new job, a better car, your spouse to get their act together, whatever.

Jesus in his warmth sees and knows your struggle, and empathizes with them. He knows what it is like to feel these things, deeply.

But Jesus in his wisdom does not heal our hurry by giving us what we think will medicate it. Instead he points us toward what will truly lead us to an unhurried life: being with him.

Listen to how Jesus himself describes being with him: Slide

Matthew 11:28–30 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Does walking with Jesus feel restful? Does his yoke seem easy and light? Or have you taken the yoke Jesus gave you and loaded it down to where it is burdensome and heavy?

Are you anxious and worried about many things?

Contrast the hurried life with what Paul writes in…

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1 Thessalonians 4:10–12 “But we encourage you, brothers and sisters, to do this even more, to seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may behave properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone.”

Lead a quiet life, simple, restful, peaceful, The Message paraphrase says “stay calm, mind your own business, do your own job.”

Years ago, when pastor John Ortberg took a job at a megachurch he asked his friend and mentor, Dallas Willard, what he need to do to be spiritually healthy.

Dallas Willard paused for a while and then replied: “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

John does that little spiritual hum (you know the one) and writes that down, then says, “Okay, that’s great, what else?”

Dallas Willard says, “There is nothing else. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

This phrase has been come back around and become pretty popular recently, but as a blueprint to spiritual health, it seems lacking. What about everything else, including some of the spiritual disciplines we’ve talked about so far in this series? There’s a lot that goes into being a Christian, it can’t be as simple as just removing hurry from our lives?

Hurry makes us miserable, it makes those around us miserable, and it makes our interactions with God transactional instead of relational.

Hurry infects every part of our lives, even the spiritual disciplines that we’ve talked about so far in this series.

Let’s take the phrase, “being with Jesus,” for example. When I say that, what comes to your mind?

Probably reading your Bible and praying, right? Good things!

But a hurried person will incorporate these disciplines as just another thing to do, another task.

You may have the discipline of a quiet time, where you read Scripture, pray, maybe journal or something like that, which is a great thing.

But, is your quiet time just another thing on your list so you can say, okay, good, done, and then move on to the next thing.

Hurry is harmful. Harmful to every part of our life.

JESUS heals us.

The gospel is good news. It is good news that you don’t have to work and strive to earn God’s favor, it has been lavished upon you in Christ. By grace you have been saved.

Jesus invites you into an abundant life. Not one that is abundant because of health and wealth, but because of who Christ is and who is through his Spirit is making you to be.

And although there are things we are supposed to do and not do as Christians, and there is plenty of room for ethical and moral teaching, the primary call of Christ on your life is to be his disciple. To follow him. To learn at his feet. To be with him and be changed by him, but to be with him.

A hurried heart can be a symptom of a heart that is not with Jesus.

So, here’s a very simple question I want to ask you to apply this to your life:

What have you allowed to get in the way of you being with Jesus?

Activity, family, anxiety, ministry. What has your heart been preoccupied with instead of being with Jesus?

Briefly mention silence and solitude -

The principle is that you regularly take time away from responsibilities and noise to spend time intentionally simplifying your heart, mind and soul, creating margin in your life.

Conclusion

SLIDE Jesus wants to be with you.

There are a lot of things that God may want you to do with your life. There are many things that you can and should do for God.

But, if you have seen your relationship with Jesus as primarily based around activity, what you can do for him, you may have done so at the expense of spending time with him. You may be so busy serving the Lord that you’ve forgotten to love him. You may think that what he really wants from you is you work, and that spending time with him is kind of “extra.”

You’ve got it backwards. I hope you can see the warmth of Jesus who sees and knows all of the things tangled up in your heart, some of them you can’t even understand yourself, and the wisdom of Jesus in not just “fixing” your situation but instead drawing you into the right choice. Being with Jesus. If your heart has been too hurried for you to take time to be with Jesus can I just encourage you with this, that is what he wants from you.

He wants your service, your gifts and talents employed for his service, he wants your good works, a reflection of your faith in him. He wants all of those things but first and foremost he wants to be with you. Embracing an unhurried life helps to reorder our hearts to what is truly important: being with Jesus.