Conflict to Connection

INTRO

Jarid’s Family

Imagine it's a typical Sunday afternoon. The family is gathered in the living room, and the plan is to decide on a movie to watch together. But as soon as the options are laid out, the room fills with differing opinions. One child insists on watching the latest superhero blockbuster, while another is adamant about a classic animated film. Meanwhile, a parent suggests a documentary, hoping to sneak in some educational content. Before you know it, the room is buzzing with raised voices, crossed arms, and a palpable tension that threatens to turn a simple family night into a battleground.

We've all experienced moments like this, where a seemingly trivial decision spirals into a full-blown conflict. It's in these everyday situations that we often find ourselves at a crossroads. Do we dig in our heels, determined to win the argument, or do we pause and consider what God might be teaching us through this moment?

Today, we're going to explore how these family conflicts, as frustrating as they may be, are actually opportunities in disguise. Opportunities to practice patience, to listen with empathy, and to grow in humility. We'll see how God can use these moments to refine us, to strengthen our family bonds, and to draw us closer to Him. So, let's open our hearts and minds to the lessons God has for us in the midst of our family conflicts, and discover how they can lead us to deeper love and unity.

5 Truths about Conflict

1. Conflict is a part of life and relationships.

A. Conflict is inevitable in our relationships.

We don’t want it to be, but it is.

Since the Garden of Eden, mankind has struggled in our relationships, because we are all imperfect.

The struggle is called, “Conflict”.

B. Oue closest relationships are the most vulnerable to have a lack of conflict resolution.

One or both of you are not being truthful

C. Conflict existed all over the New Testament…

Most of the letters in the New Testament were written BECAUSE of conflict in the local church

Luke 9 - The disciples were arguing about who would be the greatest.

Acts 6 - The widows complained about food distribution.

Philippians 4 - Women were fighting.

Romans 14 - Paul addresses disagreements about what to eat and not to eat / what to wear and not to wear / how to give thanks for food etc.

Conflict is all over the pages of scripture.

Acts 15:36–40 NLT

After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care.

These guys were so divided that they literally split and went two different directions.

This is the beginning of Church history! Divided / Conflict

They were so deeply divided over a person that they couldn’t do ministry together!

2. Conflicts arise over differing opinions, perspectives and expectations.

A. Paul and Barnabas had different thoughts on the qualifications of a team member: John Mark.

Paul was like he abandoned us once, I’m not doing that again.

Barnabas was like, he’s a kid, he deserves another chance.

Who was right? Wrong? Both / Neither??

B. Conflict comes into a relationship whenever we see something from a perspective different from someone else.

This is every person on the face of the planet!

This message right now will be seen from 50 different vantage points.

GRAB a BOOK.

C. If you grew up in a poor home / neighborhood, you see the world differently than someone who grew up in affluence.

If you grew up with money and resources, you see the world different that someone who grew up poor and struggled.

D. How we see the world is how we think the world is!

it is our “worldview”

It is not through TV NEWS definition of worldview, hear it through the “individual definition”.

Worldview: “Our Individual View-of-the-World.”

No 2 worldviews are the same!

That can create conflict.

James 4:1 ESV

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

At the end of the day, it is our “Passions,” our “Way of seeing & wanting the world to be” that are warring against many of our relationships.”

3. Conflicts are an opportunity for growth.

A. The goal of conflict, in God’s eyes, it growth and maturity in ourselves and in the relationship!!

We think: The Goal is to Win the argument and convince them of our Rightness.

God Thinks: The goal is Christlikeness and He will use conflict in our lives at every level, to grow Christlikeness in us.

James 4:6 NLT

And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”*

B. God allows conflict in our Relationships to get our attention so we can see those parts of us that still look more like the World than like Jesus!

We can want to win so badly..

God can use relational conflict to help us see something in us that isn’t like Him.

Patience / Kindness / Understanding / Greater Empathy / Surrendering my will

4. Conflicts do not have to lead to sin.

A. This is huge for our relationships.

Satan wants to use our relational conflicts to lead to sin which always leads to death…

James 1:14–15 NLT

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

B. How many of us have seen & experienced “Death in our relationships because evil entered and it got personal, vindictive and ugly.”

We sin against others when we demonize, polarize, and patronize them with our words.

C. Paul never demonized Barnabas.

He didn’t agree with him, it even separated the relationship, but nowhere in Scripture do we ever see Paul speak negatively about Barnabas.

D. As Followers of Jesus, we should NEVER let our opinion or perspective on a matter lead us to violence or hate speech, or anger or mean-spiritedness.

These things will NEVER produce the righteousness of God that we desire in our relationships.

James 1:20 NLT

Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

Ephesians 4:26 NLT

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,

E. God’s Word also warns us about Airing our private differences in a public forum

Social Media has given us a platform for public opinion to always be in session.

Honor always opens the door, dishonor slams it shut.

5. Conflicts can result in MORE UNITY, if we will stay humble and stay in love

2 Timothy 4:11 NLT

Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.

A. Paul was admitting that he was wrong.

Paul was changed by the conflict.

We can grow stronger, not because of a lack of conflict, but because we grew through the conflict.

B. The key is humility.

This is true in every arena of life, but especially in conflict.

Getting through conflict is very often the ability to listen, have humility, and love.

1 Timothy 1:5 NLT

The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.

CHALLENGE: PERSONAL CHALLENGE

Where are you in conflict and have you been seeing it as a bad thing?

Can you begin to see conflict as an opportunity to see something in yourself that God is trying to reveal to you?

Where do you need to humble yourself?

CONCLUSION/CLOSE