Teaching Kids about Sin and Salvation

Let’s go ahead and get started, I know that all of you here are in some way, shape, or form in a position where you are teaching children or maybe a better way of saying it, you are leading children in some way. Some of you have older children, some of you have younger children, regardless of where exactly you are on that timeline, you have a responsibility to lead your children in the ways of God and to point them to Christ. The role that we have as parents are so critical to the spiritual development of our children. We cannot for a moment neglect the special responsibility that God has given to us. A.W. Pink said, “Most assuredly God will require an account of the children from your hands, for they are His, and only lent to your care and keeping. The task assigned you is no easy one, especially in these superlatively evil days. Nevertheless, if trustfully and earnestly sought, the grace of God will be found sufficient in this responsibility as in others. The Scriptures supply us with rules to go by, with promises to lay hold of, and, we may add, with fearful warnings lest we treat the matter lightly.” What I want to do tonight is talk about 2 subjects that are incredibly important but also at times incredibly difficult to talk about. I’ll go ahead and say that these are 2 subjects that even Lora and I struggle to talk with our kids about. That’s not to say that we don’t do it, but even we need help and reminders in this. All of you have kids at different stages of life so everything that I talk about tonight, I’m gonna try and make sure is applicable from the diaper stage to the adult diaper stage. So it may not be as in depth as we’re hoping but that’s what we have the last 30 minutes or so to do, to talk about what questions you have. Let’s open up with prayer and then I want us to read Psalm 78:1-7 and in some ways, that section of the Psalm is going to guide us in our discussion tonight.

Psalm 78:1–7 NASB95

Listen, O my people, to my instruction; Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments,

Explaining Sin

Psalm 78 was written with the intention of teaching children the graciousness of God throughout the generations and if we read a little bit further, we would see that the Psalm does an excellent job at pointing out the rebellion and sin of past generations of the Israelites. Something that this Psalm does exceptionally well is impress upon the reader the need to teach. It impresses upon us the need to specifically teach children. And notice that in verse 4 the author says, “We will not conceal them from their children, but tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done.” We could take just that verse and see the need that we have to teach our children and we even see specifically what we should teach our children. We should praise the Lord and talk about His strength and all the wonderful things that He has done, the most wonderful being sending Christ to die for the sins of lost and fallen sinners. In verses 6 and 7 the Psalmist says that the goal should be that not just our children but our children’s children would know the awesome things of the Lord. That they would place their confidence in God, not forget the works that He has done, and keep His commandments. So in 7 verses, we see what we are to aim for. If we kept reading, we would see the problem that we face. Of course it would be easy to do everything that the Psalmist said in the first 7 verses if we didn’t have the issue of sin. One thing that we don’t need to teach our children is how to sin. That is already hardwired into them. So let me ask, who here thinks that it is difficult to talk to your kids about sin? What do you think makes it difficult? I think part of the issue, at least for me, I won’t speak for everyone, is that when I see my own kids sin, instead of calling attention to their sin, I often respond in sin. I lash out, I get angry, I yell and raise my voice, and I’m not doing it in a spirit of righteous anger towards sin. I don’t think that many of us often respond in righteous anger towards sin. I lash out because that feels easy. In the moment, it always seems like if I can just be a little more sarcastic, a little more cutting, a little more emphasizing in the shame department that that will get my kids to get it but here’s what I’ve learned, it never works. Now this obviously doesn’t mean that we just resort to something like gentle parenting. Our kids need to know that all actions have consequences. All sin has consequences. So what do we mean when we say the word sin? I think that by having a good definition of sin, we can have a good way of explaining what it is to our kids. One of the best definitions of sin that I have heard comes from John Piper. He says, “Sin is the glory of God not honored, the holiness of God not reverenced, the greatness of God not admired, the power of God not praised, the truth of God not sought, the wisdom of God not esteemed, the beauty of God not treasured, the goodness of God not savored. The faithfulness of God not trusted, the promises of God not believed, the commandments of God not obeyed, the justice of God not respected. The wrath of God not feared, the grace of God not cherished, the presence of God not prized, and the person of God not loved.” So when our kids sin, are we making it known to them that the act that they are doing is sin? I’m not one of those guys where I think that every single time the kids mess up that we need to sit down and have a whole sermon preached. I do think that there is a way to make sure that kids recognize that there are things that they do that are sinful. Now do you guys think that kids can recognize something as sin? Do you think that it is possible for kids to look at things that happen in the world and recognize those actions as right or wrong? Instinctively, every one can recognize right and wrong. Even kids can recognize right and wrong. How can we illustrate this to kids? What’s a good visual for showing kids that there is such a thing as right and wrong, good and evil? Well one of my favorite ways to do this is by what R.C. Sproul mentioned in a question and answer session before he passed away. Sproul was given the question, “My brother doesn’t believe that there is such a thing as sin and therefore, we don’t need a Savior. How do I answer this? How do I explain sin?” And all R.C. said was, “Steal his wallet.” When something sinful is experienced in their lives, there is no other way to explain it. Experience is in some ways the best teacher. When our kids see right and wrong happening in their own lives, we need to be able to help them put a title to it. We need to make sure that they recognize that sin is not just something that is existing outside of them, outside in their little world, sin is something that is happening within them. When we talk to our kids about sin, one of the best things that we can do is talk about God and His holiness. In the little Beeke book that you got tonight, one of the chapters does an excellent job at teaching the content of the gospel to our kids and the first step that he says we need to do is teach our kids about who God is and what He is like. How do we talk about God to our children? Is He this kindly old man that lives in the apartment upstairs or is He the majestic King and Creator, the Judge of the living and the dead? Don’t shy away from teaching kids about God’s wrath. Kids and adults alike need to know that sin will be punished, that sinners will be punished, and that God is holy. Sin and sinner cannot stand in His presence. In fact, it is in God’s perfect will that all sin be punished and that is part of the reason why we as parents are in an authoritative role within the house so that we would address sin. At the same time we let them know that we too are sinners. We all have sinned and we all need that sinned to be addressed. We also need to teach them about the serious cost of sin and the reality of hell. Do you guys talk about hell with your kids? Don’t shy away from talking to them about it. No, we won’t scare them into heaven. No one ever gets scared out of hell into heaven. But even children need to know that if sin is left unpunished, it will be punished in hell. Joel Beeke writes, “Don’t be afraid to talk to your children about hell, as that can make a deep impression on them. They can become very silent when you speak to them about hell. But that knowledge is an important evangelistic tool in your arsenal of truth- a tool that the Holy Spirit has used throughout church history to show His children that they need to forsake sin and flee from the wrath of God to the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ.” When we see our kids do something wrong, we explain that sin impacts more than just them, that it really has cosmic implications. Tell them that what they are doing grieves the Lord and that it derails our lives and ruins relationships. Maybe what is best to do is use stories from your own life as to how sin has messed you up. Admit to them when you sin against them and even ask them to pray for you and to accept your apology. The best practice against sin is an intentional living out of righteousness. Let experience be the teacher and bring your kids into your lives and let them see that you have flaws. Talk about those flaws with them but most importantly, point them to Jesus. Tell them how Jesus takes your sin on Himself and how even though we continue to make mistakes as Christians, their is enough grace in Christ to cover all our sins.

Explaining Salvation

Now how do we talk to our kids about salvation? Hopefully as we explain sin and the seriousness of sin, they start to see that they need a Savior. I think we need to embrace the tremendous opportunity that we have in these early years to talk to our kids about Jesus. Most of you have probably heard the statistics about how critical the early years of Christian influence is on kids once they graduate from high school. These years are amazing years of opportunity. Spurgeon said, “It is a pleasant duty to talk of Jesus to our sons and daughters, and the more so because it has often proved to be an accepted work, for God has saved the children through the parents’ prayers and admonitions.” Pray now for your kids, lead them to Scripture now, play worship music in the car and in the home, bring them to church every chance you get, don’t let the sports schedule dictate the church schedule, give them a constant exposure to the Christian life and let them see the joy of being a follower of Christ. Let them see that you have joy in Christ, speak fondly of Christ, and let them see firsthand that you have something that they need. What I want to do now is talk about an article that Tedd Tripp wrote about 15 years ago that was all about talking to kids about saving faith. In the article he brings up 3 aspects of saving faith that need to be present. For saving faith to be saving faith we need to know, we need to believe, and we need to trust. If we want to lead our children to Christ we must teach them about Christ. Makes sense right? In order to grow, they need to know. They need to know who Jesus is that He is the Son of God that takes away the sins of the world. That He is fully God and fully man, that He lived a perfectly life, that He was killed on a cross, rose from the dead 3 days later, and now sits at the right hand of God but will one day return for His people. How can we expect our kids to love and follow Jesus if we don’t make Him known. Remember you as the parent are the primary discipleship partner that your child will have. It is not the responsibility of the church to do all the work for you. If you want your child to know Christ, it certainly helps that you know as much about Christ as possible. Let your kids see you in Scripture. Let them see your in prayer and worshipping. Ask them questions and let them ask you questions. Stretch the recesses of your mind together and grow as a family! Invest in great resources that you can work on together to grow in knowledge of God. Buy good books, read the Bible together, push to pray as much as you can. All of this will get their minds thinking about who Jesus is and how He relates to their lives. Now just because children may know who Jesus is does not automatically equal faith. Not only must we know who Jesus is, we must believe that He is who He says He is. Tedd Tripp writes, “Our children must both understand the content of the gospel and believe it. To know all the historical facts about Jesus Christ, to possess thorough knowledge of the facts about salvation, will do our children no good if they do not believe those facts to be true.” Right knowledge will say that Christ died and rose again, belief can even say that we are persuaded to believe that Christ died and rose again, we must trust in that knowledge and believe it to be true. Our children must trust that Jesus died to save them from their sins. Knowledge, belief, and trust is what can make us sing, “I need no other argument, I need no other plea, it is enough that Jesus died, and that He died for me.” So how can we make this happen? Tripp says, “We must always set before them the gospel truth. Every family should have some intentional and structured times in which the children are taught what the Scriptures contain. We must faithfully urge them to believe the things we have taught. Some basic apologetics will inevitably be essential as we persuade them to believe the truth.” Our duty as parents is to show them Christ as infinitely beautiful. We need to present Christ to them in a way where it should be clear to them that we possess something that should absolutely want. We should be able to stand before the Lord on the last day and have Him say, “You did everything that you could to show the children I gave you just how wonderful I am.”

What Not to Do

Now before we have some discussion, I want to talk quickly about 3 things that we can’t do when it comes to talking to our kids about sin and salvation. The first thing that we can’t do is force them to be saved. You cannot save them. You’re only the messenger. Only the Holy Spirit can do the work of conversion but we get to be a tool in God’s arsenal to reach them. With that in mind, don’t beat yourself up or give up if you don’t have all the answers. Kids are smart, they are going to ask you things that you don’t know the answer to and that is ok. They will not be lost for all eternity because you didn’t know the answer to every question that they had. Tell them what you do know, work with them to find the answers, and admit that you aren’t perfect. The second thing I would warn against is if your kids want to be baptized, that’s amazing. We want that, you want that, the Lord loves seeing young people baptized. But don’t pressure them into something the first time that they mention it. Don’t force salvation on them either. I know that sounds weird but don’t awaken love before its time. Nothing is wrong with telling your child that it is awesome that they want to be baptized but they should wait a little longer. I would say that a child is ready to be baptized if there is evidence of their conversion and if they can explain what baptism represents. My concern with early baptisms, mainly because I’ve seen it a few times in my life, is that when they get older, if they walk away from a faith that they didn’t have to begin with, they will live with this idea that they were saved when they really weren’t. They’ll look on the baptism they had when they were 8 or 9 or 10 and think, “Well I got baptized so I’m all set!” You might not be able to control what they do later in life but you can certainly influence them. When they start asking questions about faith or baptism, learn together what it means and let them be able to explain it on their own. I’ve been to quite a few baptism interviews with young people and it seems like their parents or older siblings answer the questions for them and they do this mainly because they know that the kid doesn’t have the answer. The last thing I would say to not do is not to give up. We are all prodigals at some point in our lives. Some of you might have kids now that are older that are nowhere close to the Lord as you would like them to be. Don’t let that discourage you from teaching and praying for them. St. Augustine’s mom prayed for him for years before he came to faith. One of my favorite stories of someone persisting in prayer for someone’s salvation is the story of George Mueller and the 5 individuals that he prayed for. Mueller was known for his prayer life and the orphanages that he led in England in the 1800’s. It was said that Mueller never asked for money, he only prayed that the needs of the orphanage would be met and time and time again, God answered his prayers. There were days where he wasn’t sure if he would have money to feed the orphans dinner and then miraculously just enough money would show up in the mail. Time and time again this happened. He was a man that truly lived by faith. Well Mueller knew of five individuals that were not Christians and so starting in November of 1844, he started to pray every single day that these 5 individuals would be saved. No matter what, no matter what was happening or how he was feeling, he prayed for these 5 people. 18 months after he started doing this, the first person was converted but he didn’t stop praying for the other 4. 5 years after the first person was saved, the second person was saved. Six years after that the third person was saved. Still after the third, he kept on praying. Well 36 years later he wrote that the other two still weren’t converted and he wrote down, “But i hope in God, I pray on, and look for the answer. They are not converted yet, but they will be.” 52 years after he first started praying, in 1898 Mueller died but his prayers were about to be answered because not long after he died both men became Christians. You may pray for half a century, you might pray to your death bed for your children to be saved, keep praying because we know that it is God that brings salvation. Don’t give up on them. You are doing the Lord’s work. Elizabeth Elliot said, “God gives to fallible parents this little boy or girl, who will certainly prove to be far from perfect, to love and train and teach, to bring up, in the nurture and admonition, the training and instruction, of the Lord. It’s a serious assignment. There is no higher calling.” What questions do you guys have or what else do we want to talk about in the last 30 or so minutes that we have?