Lost Sons: The Son Who Stayed

Intro

As we approach the start of school (tomorrow!) and the fall, we enter into what we refer to in our family as “birthday season”

All four of our kids have fall birthdays

One birthday a month starting in 2 weeks when Micah will turn 8

But I look back at the moment I became a dad when Jeremiah was born

It had been a long day in labor, at Kim’s side as she did the hard work and I watched and tried to support her

And then Jeremiah had been born and ushered in maybe the weirdest few minutes of my life

The doctor was caring for Kim, the nurses rushed off this little baby to the corner of the room to make sure he was healthy

And, for the first time that day, I was just standing there

There was nothing I could do for Kim in that moment

And I couldn’t yet hold my newborn son

So I just stood there, peeking over the nurses’ shoulders, glimpsing my son

The joy, the pride, the love was overwhelming

In that moment, I experienced in a new way just a little more of the love of God the Father for us, his children, that he made and in whom he delights

Transition

The parables are the stories that Jesus tells

Continuing our look tonight at the most famous of the stories that Jesus told

It’s a story of a Father with 2 sons and a look at his relationship with each of them

It’s a story of how much this Father loved his sons, even when they were lost in their sin

Recap Part 1

Last time we looked at the younger son

A son who told his dad that he was dead to him and wanted his inheritance

A son who took the money and left

A son who squandered all that money in reckless living, trying to keep the party rolling

A son who was lost: Lost from his father, lost his sonship, lost from joy and hope

Lost

But that lost son hit the ultimate low point - feeding pigs and wishing he could eat the pigs’ food

At that spot he decided to head home, not as a son (he had lost that right) but maybe at least he could be a servant

In heading home, he loses his pride and his entitlement, but what he gains is more than he could imagine

He gains a new coat and shoes, he gains a feast, but, most importantly, he gains the Father, the Father’s love, and his sonship

And in the middle of a big bear hug of his son, the Father shouts to the servants to prepare a feast because it was time to celebrate that his son who was dead is now alive, his son that was lost is found

But he was not the only son - for he has an older brother

With that, let’s pickup in the middle of the story Jesus is telling

Scripture Reading: Luke 15:25-32

Luke 15:25–32 ESV

“Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’ ”

Pray

Recap

So we saw the journey of the relationship between the son who left, and later returned, with his Father

And now Jesus continues telling the story about the older son and his relationship with his Father

The older son was out in the field

Even this is significant - he’s working to manage the family estate, doing what he is supposed to do

Hears commotion coming from the house

Is that music? Laughter?

What is going on there?

Asks one of the servants who tells him his brother has come home

And your dad is throwing a party to celebrate

This infuriates the older son, who refuses to go into the house

After all, he did everything right!

The Father comes out and he launches into scolding his Father

“Look at everything I’ve done, how hard I’ve worked, and I never got a party!”

The Father had killed a fattened calf but the older son, the one who did everything right, doesn’t even get a young goat to have some fun with his friends?

Without going too far into detail, worth noting that a fattened calf would be a much more valuable possession than a young goat

Oh, and remember that the younger son had already received his share of the inheritance, so this fattened calf was coming from the older son’s share of the estate!

Luke 15:31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.”

The Father reminds his son that the entire estate is his

But his son who was lost is now found and that is worth celebrating

And that is how the story ends

We don’t know if the son relented and went in or if he stayed outside

My thesis:

The older son never left the Father

But he was just as lost as the son who did leave

Even in staying, he was lost

Heart Posture of the Son

So what makes me say that he was lost?

He was, after all, still home with the Father

And yet, he was bitter and self-righteous

The bitterness of the son who stayed

Luke 15:28 “But he was angry and refused to go in.”

He is angry and throws a temper tantrum

He can’t (won’t) go into the house

Words matter

Notice the difference in the language the son uses and the Father uses

Luke 15:30 “But when this son of yours came”

Luke 15:32 “It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother…”

Do you hear the relational distance?

The older son here says “this son of yours” and dad replies “this your brother”

He wouldn’t even acknowledge his own brother

The self-righteousness of the son who stayed

Luke 15:29–30 “but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’”

And here is where we start to see just how lost the son is

He does not understand the Father’s love

And he doesn’t understand his own sonship

His relationship here with the Father is so transactional

I did this so you owe me that

Look at everything I have done for you

All these years I’ve served you

Never disobeyed your command

Quick sidebar: is that true?

Probably not…

Pretty sure this son disobeyed his Father at some point along the way

Effect: he is exaggerating his own accomplishments and works

And that is what happens - what has to happen - when our work determines our worth

“I deserved a goat and a party because of how hard I worked”

I deserve X because I did Y

He is entitled because he did was he was supposed to do

What a dangerous place to be when we start to believe that God the Father owes us because of our actions, our words, our personality, our whatever

That is a self-righteousness that is like the son who stayed here

But the self-righteousness doesn’t end here

When our work determines our worth, we have to go further

That is, not only to exaggerate our own accomplishments, but to make those around us seem even worse!

If my value as a person is determined by what I do, I also need to make sure it outweighs what you do

And we see that here from the older son

“Who has devoured your property with prostitutes”

Wow - that’s crazy language!

Devour: what a visceral word intended to shape the perspective of the Father

Your property: look at what your son did with your wealth!

With prostitutes: Uhh, nowhere in the story does it say that

Now, it may be true

But that is how gossip works

There may be a kernel of truth that the son squandered the money with prostitutes

But Jesus never says that explicitly in his story, just that he squandered the wealth, not how

Maybe there were rumors that came back from the far country where the younger son went

Maybe the son here is just making this up about his younger brother

None of that matters: it wasn’t his story to tell

So let me ask this: whether the money was spent on prostitutes or not, why bring it up?

Only one reason: to cast his younger brother, this Father’s son, in the worst possible light

He was worthy of reward because of his actions, his younger brother was worthy of nothing

My Assessment of this Son

He was lost even though he stayed

He missed the Father’s love even while living near it every day

The result is a self-righteousness where he affirms his own worth by his work and denigrates the worth of others

This is a self-righteousness that aims to prove sonship rather than prize sonship

This is a self-righteousness that aims to prove worth rather than prize worth

And yet, hear the words of the Father:

Luke 15:31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.”

This son did not know what it meant to be a son

He lost his sonship without even leaving, like his younger brother had

How are we like the lost son who stayed?

Story ends without telling us response of the older son

Younger son we find out that he recognized he was lost and came home to the Father

Let us go back and remember how this whole parable started at the beginning of Luke 15

Luke 15:1–2 “Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.””

The tax collectors and sinners

They knew they were lost

They could easily see in themselves that they were the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son who left

Yes, they knew they were lost

But the Pharisees and scribes?

They didn’t think they were lost

They thought they deserved the Father’s rewards

They had earned it

And that group of tax collectors and sinners, not only had they not earned it, they didn’t deserve it

Even more, they should not receive it, so they grumbled and complained

See, the son who stayed here?

That was the Pharisees and the scribes

But the question goes deeper: is it also you?

Are you able to delight in God’s redeeming, pursuing love for those who go to the far country away from the Father?

Are you excited to join the celebration when someone you never expected comes to faith in Christ?

Or are you like the son who stayed?

How are you trying to prove that your work has made you worthy?

Instead of enjoying your status as a beloved child, are you tempted to try and prove to God why you deserve to be his son or daughter?

When do you complain because you deserve better?

How are you putting down others or gossiping about others to make yourself look better?

And here is the great irony: we were all at one point the son who left

In our sin, we all strayed from God and went to a far country in pursuit of reckless living

But when we received Christ and were brought back in, we can, after a while, start to think that our being back in is our own doing

How sadly ironic that we who were found by the Father’s love can so foolishly begin to live trying to prove that we deserved the Father’s love in the first place

The Father’s Pursuit

For the son who left, the Father was on the lookout every day and when he saw his son in the distance, he went running to him

And here, the Father does the same thing

He goes to his son

Luke 15:28 “But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him,”

Just as the Father goes to and meets his one son in the spot of his shame, embarrassment, guilt and proclaims sonship upon him

So also the Father goes to his other son, the son who stayed, and meets his son at the place of his anger and bitterness

Not only does the Father go out to his son, but he entreats him

He invites him in to the party

He asks him to come celebrate with him

The Father loved his son who was lost by leaving and eagerly looked down the road for his return

The Father loved his son who was lost even in staying and goes outside entreating him to return

Fairness and What We Deserve

Several years ago, sitting down at the dinner table, something happened and one of my kids said, “That’s not fair”

Honestly, don’t even remember what it was

I don’t know what led to that statement or even who said it

Doesn’t matter

I’m sure all of us who have been parents have tired of hearing the “it’s not fair” comment

In that moment, I was kinda short and couldn’t deal with the “it’s not fair” comment again

So I stopped and said, “Ok, let’s talk about fairness. What is fair?”

The answer came something like “We all get what we deserve”

Oh, ok, well let’s explore that for a moment then

At that point, I started asking a few questions from the kids’ catechism, a little tool we have used with our kids to teach them some basics of the Christian faith

“What is sin?”

“Sin is any lack of conformity to or transgression of the law of God”

And yes, they actually said this

And the next couple of questions ask what “lack of conformity” and “transgression” mean

Ok, great, next

“What does every sin deserve?”

“The wrath and curse of God”

And are you a sinner?

Yes

So what do you deserve?

“The wrath and curse of God”

Is that what you want? Because giving you what you deserve would be fair”

“No”

Exactly - what you want is not fairness, but you want it your way

You want the bigger half of the cookie where you get what you want and the other half gets what they deserve

But then I shifted the conversation because I would argue the gospel is the most inherently unfair thing in history

The gospel - the good news of the Bible - is the story of the most unfair trade in history

2 Corinthians 5:21 “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

We were sinners and we deserved death

Jesus was perfect and deserved life because he was perfectly righteous

And then comes the most beautiful - and the most unfair - trade offer of all time

Jesus was perfect but he would take the death we deserved

In exchange, we who were sinners would get the righteousness of God and the life forever that he deserved

Again, completely unfair… but amazingly beautiful!

Conclusion

Over the last few weeks we have looked at these three stories that come together as a single parable of things lost, of things found, and things celebrated when they were found

A lost sheep was found and celebrated

A lost coin was found and celebrated

A lost son who left to squander everything in reckless living was found and celebrated

And the lost son who stayed?

We never find out if he stayed outside or if he did come in

And that, my friends, is the question for you

Even now, the Father is entreating you to come inside, come join the celebration, come home to the Father

Pray

Father, you are the one true God. Even as we have seen in these three stories that we are the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son, we are also drawn to worship you as the one who seeks for and finds lost things, lost sons, and then celebrates our return to you. We praise you because you are compassionate, patient, gracious, loving, gentle, faithful and good. And even more, you are the Father who pursues. Thank you for pursuing us. Amen.