Live as Members of One Another

Introduction

Throughout the book of Ephesians so far, we have been reminded constantly of our common faith and love. We have experienced God’s blessing, predestination, adoption, grace, redemption, forgiveness, inheritance, belief, sealing, faith, love, enlightenment, and strength together. Christ has united Jew and Gentile together. Paul’s ministry was focused on uniting the Gentiles with the Jews. The unity of the Spirit lays the foundation for the work of our teachers and leaders who build us up together.

As we finish up chapter 4, I want you to know that the primary emphasis of our text is life together in the body of Christ. It describes us as neighbors, members of one another, sharing with those who have need, building up, giving grace, being kind and tender-hearted, and graciously forgiving one another. I have titled this lesson ‘Live as members of one another.’

Read the text and pray

Note ‘therefore,’ which introduces the third movement in this chapter. It is as if God has been outlining a recipe for church growth in spiritual maturity. Chapters 1-3 are like collecting all the doctrinal ingredients, and these ‘therefores’ are moving us very deep into the practical instructions. This is when the pots and pans start getting dirty and the counters are all full. As we move into this passage, let me outline the major sections for you.

Speak truth with your neighbor (v. 25)

Be angry and do not sin (vv. 26-27)

Labor so you can meet needs (v. 28)

Speak what is good for building up (vv. 29-30)

Let these things be put away from you (v. 31)

Act this way toward one another (v. 32)

Speak Truth with Your Neighbor (v. 25)

Notice also the introduction to our text: laying aside falsehood, or literally, laying aside ‘the lie.’ You might wonder which lie God wants us to put aside. This is a combination of what we studied last week. We are commanded to ‘lay aside the old man’ in verse 24, and we are warned of the old man’s corruption ‘in accordance with the lusts of deceit.’ Have you ever discovered that something you were convinced about was actually not true? It feels like someone has just swept your legs out from under you. Perhaps you’ve heard someone exclaim, “My whole life is a lie!” Well, when we learn Christ that is exactly what happens to us. We realize that our whole life really was a lie! Now we must reorient ourselves toward true reality.

The command for each of us to speak truth with our neighbors comes from Zec 8, verse 16 in particular. Imagine with me that the Bible is a house, and the book of Ephesians is a room. In the room of Ephesians, there is a door with a keyhole. This command is that keyhole. Look with me through it into the next room, the room of Zechariah in the Old Testament.

14-17, “For thus says Yahweh of hosts, ‘Just as I purposed to bring about evil to you when your fathers provoked Me to wrath,’ says Yahweh of hosts, ‘and I have not relented, so I have again purposed in these days to do good to Jerusalem and to the house of Judah. Do not fear! These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates. Also let none of you devise evil in your heart against another, and do not love false oaths; for all these are what I hate,’ declares Yahweh.”

This beautiful chapter highlights the hope of Israel, the plans of her loving God for future restoration in the millennial kingdom. Notice the striking similarities: we are reading a list of rapid-fire commands in both Ephesians and Zechariah, this list of commands guides the life of God’s people together, the command to speak truth with one another is the first on the list. In addition, the theme of truth is absolutely central to God’s plan for building up his people.

Yahweh says that Jerusalem ‘will be called the City of Truth’ (v. 3), that he ‘will be their God in truth and righteousness’ (v. 8), that the first thing the people should do is ‘speak the truth to one another’ and the second is ‘judge with truth and judgment for peace’ (v. 16), and that the biblical fasts will be times of joy and should result in a love for truth and peace (v. 19).

Psalm 33:6 says “By the word of Yahweh the heavens were made, And by the breath of His mouth all their host.” John 1:14 says “And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.” If God was a musician, his favorite genre would be Spoken Word. Over and over, we see his emphasis on the value of truth communicated through speech. A lie is the perversion of the word of truth; it is the most devious of sins and the one most likely to associate us with the Father of Lies. Of all the sins Satan could have introduced in the garden, he chose a lie as his silver bullet. We dare not follow his lead.

The reason we are commanded to speak the truth, each one with his neighbor, is because we are members of one another, and it undergirds the rest.

Imagine a scenario: Bob tells you something important. Then you’re out with Bob and this other guy you know named Jim asks him about it, and Bob lies to Jim (and it’s not about a birthday surprise). Maybe you start to pipe up with a “Hey, wait a second!” but Bob slips you the evil eye, so then you deflect attention pretending you made a mistake, “Oh never mind, it was nothing actually.” What happens in that moment? You immediately recognize that Bob has something against Jim. Lies indicate animosity.

Rom 12 and 1 Cor 12 both explain the metaphor of the body in more detail, but the point is that we must speak truth to one another because it is the hallmark of our unity. Truth is the badge we wear when we clock into the kingdom, and it is the core ingredient in our fellowship with the church. 1 John teaches that the truth in us and flowing out of us reassures us of our common salvation.

Be Angry and Do Not Sin (vv. 26-27)

Here we are confronted with a big question: is this passage commanding us to be angry? Or, more specifically, is it encouraging more anger than we already have? Perhaps it is just giving us a back up plan. You know, like those signs on fire extinguishers that say, “In case of emergency...” Should we read this as a reluctant concession, “In case of anger...” or should we understand this to be a positive command telling us that anger is a good thing and we should get a second helping at the buffet bar.

Perhaps the confusion arises from the fact that verse 31 tells us to let all anger be put away from us. Is God talking out of both sides of his mouth? No, he is not. He has spoken truth.

Briefly, here are three technical reasons why this is a legitimate command to be angry:

The prohibition only applies to the second command (i.e., “do not sin,” as opposed to “do not be angry”)

The commands are joined by the conjunction ‘and’ which indicates equal force (vs. ‘but’ or something contrastive, that would elevate the emphasis of the second command)

This is a quote from Ps 4:5, and the context there indicates that this is a real command

If you have fast fingers, turn to Psalm 4 for a minute. We don’t have time to explore all eight verses but let me paraphrase them while you read it:

1, The psalmist is in distress and cries out to his God of righteousness

2, He questions the futile efforts of wicked men

3, He remembers the sanctity of holiness in the man God has chosen

4, He instructs his soul to tremble with emotion and yet not to sin, to go away and ponder silently on his bed

5, He concludes that he must continue in obedience and wait on Yahweh

6, People wonder when God is going to take action

7, He reflects with satisfaction on his earlier decision to wait patiently

8, He rejoices that his half-court trick shot worked out—God came through for him

Back to our passage in Ephesians, we are all familiar with the story of Jesus cleansing the temple in holy anger. Here is a helpful quote describing this attribute of God:

Peter Lange: “Anger, which, in God, is the energy of holy love against sin and corruption disturbing and perverting moral order, is justified in the Scriptures. Affirmed of God more than three hundred times, it cannot be wrong of itself in man who is created after the image of God; it is rather a witness and basis of active love in the surroundings of an unholy world… Without ardent hatred towards what is wicked, there can be no lawful anger towards those who are wicked. It is difficult to separate the two.”

In light of God’s command to imitate his righteous anger, we must look now at three characteristics that will help us to differentiate it from unrighteous anger:

First, unrighteous anger is sinful, while righteous anger is not. Jesus said that all the law and the prophets hung on two commands: to love God and to love others. Thus, we may infer that anger which is born out of a love for God or for another person is righteous. As a result, we must conclude that any anger fueled by self-love is sinful and prohibited.

Second, unrighteous anger is extended over a period of time. One commentator said, “Anger is a murderer. Who would sleep with a murderer?” and I would add that we should think of hatred as if it were anger with a bedhead. When we let anger brew, and we take no decisive action to entrust vengeance to the Lord, then we are acting unrighteously.

Third, unrighteous anger gives the devil an opportunity. Satan enticed Eve to angry impatience—how dare God not share with them the tree of knowledge of good and evil?! When we take matters into our own hands, then we give place to the devil. He gets a foot in the door, and thus God warned Cain ‘sin is lying at the door.’

There are some caveats here, though. First, when we remember that we live together as members of one another, we should recognize that a love for holiness and obedience would compel us to confront one another by speaking the truth in love when we see sin within our midst. This is not a command to apathetic anger. However, when we see sin outside, in the world around us, and we recognize that God has not put us in a position of authority, we would do well to avoid Moses’s example and not take matters into our own hands by killing the Egyptian.

Lastly, note that there are only a few commands in Scripture that are accompanied by a warning about it being a gateway for the devil:

Someone who lacks the full armor of God (Eph 6)

A new convert who becomes an elder (1 Tim 3:6)

An elder with a bad reputation outside the church (1 Tim 3:7)

A person who fails to be sober and alert (1 Pet 5:8)

A person who deprives their spouse, apart from prayer (1 Cor 7:5)

A young window who does not remarry ( 1 Tim 5:14-15)

Might add: A leader whose work is rejected publicly (Gen 4:7, Cain: the older brother)

Recognizing that we are engaged in spiritual warfare, we must guard our flank and protect the weakest link. These are some of the most dangerous highways to hell outlined in Scripture. Be very careful that when you are angry, you do not give place to the devil; otherwise, you may find that your righteous anger has turned into deadly crossfire.

Labor so You Can Meet Needs (v. 28)

Paul plays a fun grammatical trick in this passage. For most of the book, he has relied on plural pronouns like “all y’all.” However, now he switched to the singular. Imagine a thief sneaking around in the darkness. It is as if Paul has flicked on the spotlight and sirens all at once: the thief is caught red-handed on center stage.

As we consider this command, I want to draw your attention to the motive behind theft. There are actually a number of possibilities (e.g., greed, covetousness, anger, etc.). However, the command God emphasizes here indicates that the specific issue in view is laziness. Note the contrast with “but rather he must labor” as if he was not laboring previously. In addition, it is clear that the primary emphasis of this text is on real theft of tangible goods, which you can see in the contrast between having or not having something to share. However, the first command to steal no more is broader than a simple rebuke for laziness, and so we can include variations of theft and motive in this prohibition. It is all wrong.

Let me highlight four characteristics of the thief described in this passage, along with some related questions for you to ponder:

Thieves are usually repeat offenders (“steal no longer”). Once you get something the easy way, why would you ever go the hard way again. So I ask you, do you have easy paths in your heart: sins that you have gotten away with that you return to over and over again like a dog to its vomit and like a pig to the mud?

Thieves do not work to earn things for themselves (“rather he must labor, performing what is good”). Similarly, they selfishly withhold those things that should rightfully be given to another. So I ask you, do you make it a practice to give to others what belongs to them? Or, while you work at home, do you browse entertainment without notifying your boss that you’ve completed your responsibilities?

Thieves do not share with others because they would be found out (“so that he will have something to share”). They can’t steal all the money in a bank and then show up the next day to deposit a truckload of cash into their account. So I ask you, do you avoid sharing because you will be found out? Do you skimp on hospitality because you don’t want people to see how messy your house is or because you have unhealthy relationships in the home that you want to keep private?

Thieves do not meet others’ needs because they deprive people and play the victim (“with one who has need”). It would be a conflict of interest to feel bad for the old lady while you’re robbing her blind. So I ask you, are you too inward focused to notice when other people have a need? Do you run your mouth in conversations, only to walk away and cringe if you happen to realize that you never took the time to ask the other person how they were doing? Much less to listen to their response and ask a meaningful follow up question?

These are all behavior patterns that indicate the heart of a thief. We must put them to death, be renewed in our thinking, and put on Christlikeness. To that end, note that you can also take each of these characteristics of a thief and restate them positively in order to build a godly work ethic:

Hard workers are diligent and persistent, they do not slack off.

Hard workers save resources so that they can meet other people’s needs.

Hard workers share with others to encourage accountability.

Hard workers discover other people’s needs and try to meet them.

One commentator said, “All labor, however assiduous, proper and honest, which does not aim at a surplus to give away is not distinctively Christian.” Let us abound in generosity.

Speak What is Good for Building Up (vv. 29-30)

The opening clause of this section is convicting by itself. “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth” indicates that apparently they are already in our mouths!

This word unwholesome is the same one used to describe rotten fish and mushy fruit. We are instructed to build a dam in our mouths so that this rancid river will not rush out and drown our hearers. It’s like sitting down to dinner and taking a big gulp from your glass right before someone cracks a joke. You fight the urge to spew water in polite company, but do you do as much to restrain your wicked words? Similarly, this passage trains us to discern and communicate wise words. Solomon reminds us in Proverbs 25:11 that a “word spoken in right circumstances” is “like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Ornate, exquisite, luscious, and desirable.

God equips us with two necessary qualifications that we should use to measure the appropriateness of all our speech:

Good for building up what is needed. This is a little bit like a combo package, and it refers to both the content and the timing of our words. We must say the right thing at the right time. This requires a sensitive ear and a perceptive mind. Again Solomon says, “He who responds with a word before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.”

Gives grace to those who hear. The emphasis here is on the audience, “those who hear” and not someone else. We may say the same thing to more than one person, but it is likely that the way in which we say it will need to change.

The second verse in this section is somewhat controversial, and it has to do with this question: what grieves the Holy Spirit? What am I supposed to avoid?

I believe that in this context, we are taught that the Holy Spirit is particularly grieved by the unwholesome words we speak to one another:

This paragraph is grammatically structured around a series of positive commands (speak, be angry, labor, proceed), so this prohibition does not qualify as a main point

All four prohibitions in this paragraph are subordinated to the most relevant—usually preceding—positive command (do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger, do not give the devil an opportunity [be angry], and do not let an unwholesome word proceed [implied let wholesome words proceed])

Therefore, we should expect this prohibition to be a subpoint of the nearest (probably preceding) command, which relates it to our speech with one another.

With that in mind, consider two observations about this prohibition. First, notice the full title that is used, “the Holy Spirit of God.” It is big and dramatic on purpose. Second, notice that he is designated as the one who firmly marks us for the day of redemption. By way of contrast, how likely would you be, at the cash register, to redeem that product whose seal you discover to be broken? The implicit fear of the unknown is intentional. We wonder, “If we grieve the Holy Spirit of God, what will happen to us on the day of redemption?” Our text contains no answer, and I will not take you elsewhere to find one. This is the answer here: you most certainly do not want to find out by experimenting with your own soul. Just obey!

Let These Things Be Put Away from You (v. 31)

As we reach the end of our text, the instructions come more rapidly. This is like the grand finale for the imperatival fireworks in Ephesians 4. In reality, this is just one command, but it implies six individual requirements. For the sake of time, I simply want to draw your attention to a theme and sketch the contours of each.

These behaviors represent a progression from inward to outward. One commentator states, “This verse contains not only a catalogue, but a melancholy genealogy of bad passions.” Scientists today talk about gene sequencing, and here we have sin sequencing. Note the progression here and seek to intervene quickly when you see it in your life.

Bitterness - mean-spiritedness and unnecessary ill-will that is hidden inside

Anger - high-strung temper-mentality that crosses boundaries and creates emotional chaos

Wrath - burning emotion that is focused on and directed against someone else

Clamor - sharp, loud, brash speech that erupts and grates on bystanders who hear it

Slander - critical, demeaning speech intended to undermine a person’s reputation in community

Malice - all evil animosity that manifests itself in antagonistic and often physical actions (final catch all)

Recognizing the predictable progression, you must guard against these wicked vices and discern how to roll them back by taking the spiritual offensive.

Act This Way Toward One Another (v. 32)

Thankfully, God graciously includes a primer of sorts to help us figure out what steps to take in order to execute a successful offensive against the vices we just considered.

First, note that this verse highlights the about-face with “instead” and then highlights the transformation with “be” or “become.” The battles that follow are the turning points in the war. Second, bear in mind that the Greek actually orders the text, “be to one another kind,” so that ‘one another’ is fronted and emphasized. This indicates that typically you progress from bad to worse on the first list when you are concerned with self, first and foremost. However, you turn a corner when you become others focused.

As a result, if you find yourself in conflict with another person, practice these things:

Be kind to them - look for ways that you can do positive good works for them and to them

Be tender-hearted - consider their perspective and seek to exemplify empathy and compassion

Graciously forgive them - put offenses behind you and demonstrate good will toward them

Finally, note the emphasis, not on God’s forgiveness of us, but on how he did it: “in Christ.” It is not that God simply forgave our sins and so we should do the same, but that he sacrificed his Son on our behalf and so also we should humble ourselves and make sacrifices in order to respond graciously to those who have sinned against us. This is not just an in-store credit, it’s a full refund. We must follow God’s example of taking upon himself our reproach so that we might be restored. So, rather than staying aloof until you get some kind of response from the other person that vindicates your position and strokes your pride, humble yourself and take their reproach upon yourself so that you can maintain the unity of the Spirit.

Announcements

Next Wednesday, Dec 22, is “Our” Christmas Eve Service—regular service time

Following Wednesday, Dec 29, is a holiday break so there will be no service

Regular Wednesday services will resume on Jan 5, Lord-willing