Devotion without Distraction

Introduction

Prayer. Humility, honesty, integrity.

Turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7, where we will be looking at verses 32-38.

Our passage for this evening is very personal for me. Here God warns unmarried men and women of the “danger” inherent in marriage—distraction, distraction from the things of the Lord. I say this is personal because I graduated from college with a degree in biblical languages in 2016, and that same year I began pursuing my Masters of Divinity, my M.Div. And here I am, 8 years later, still pursuing it! And not only that, but I have another probably 4-5 years still to go! That’s a 13-year masters degree. And the natural question on everyone’s mind is, “Why so long?”

Well, there are a number of reasons, but one is that I got married! And ever since, I’ve had the privilege of providing for a wife and a household. I say a privilege because if I had to choose between my books and my bride, I say let the books burn! But I work a full-time job because I know my wife and family is my first ministry.

And marriage involves many other sacrifices of time and money. This is why Paul advocates for single-mindedness. Tonight we are addressing the topic of devotion without distraction, devotion without distraction.

And let me just say right now that this is not a text only for Bible geeks and seminary students who want to do ministry full-time. We’re not looking at 1 Timothy right now. This is an epistle addressed to the entire congregation at Corinth, and Paul even speaks to women directly. So this passage is for you, all of you, and it especially applies to singles. It doesn’t matter whether you are doing preaching, pathology, or plumbing.

As I mentioned, we will be looking at 1 Corinthians 7:32-38 tonight. Since this is a larger passage, and we have a lot to cover, I will just read the passage in sections as we touch on each point. Following the theme of “devotion without distraction,” we will address three headings: 1) the concerns of men, 2) the concerns of women, and 3) the concerns of fathers. In each of these sections, I want you to consider the opportunity costs of marriage.

And don’t forget the context. Earlier, in verses 26 and 29, Paul mentions a “present distress” and that “the time has been shortened.” Those phrases seem to indicate that Paul was giving counsel for a unique and temporary season. We don’t know what happened, but it seems unlikely that Paul was referring to an end times event.

We can see this unique situation by comparing 1 Corinthians 7 to 1 Timothy 5. In Corinthians, Paul encourages single people not to get married, but in Timothy, he says that younger widows should get married. So which one is it, Paul? Well, one difference is that he refers to young widows in 1 Timothy 5. Apparently these young widows married with sexual desires, enjoyed intimacy during marriage, and now miss the embrace of their late husbands. But 1 Corinthians 7 is addressed to all single people, whether unmarried or divorced, and so there is no binding principle for the entire group. But we also need to pay attention to the contextual cues in Corinth’s history.

Paul says the Corinthian church was suffering distress. It appears they were subject to temporary pressures. As a result, we can focus in on the principles from 1 Corinthians 7 when we, too, are enduring times of distress. That may involve situations like persecution, famine, economic disaster, war, or civil unrest. This is a very helpful passage for missionaries. Basically times of turmoil when a family may become a liability or a hindrance. In times of peace, like that addressed in 1 Timothy 5, marriage is the norm. But during distress it may be unwise to seek a marriage.

The Concerns of Men

With these things in mind, let’s first consider the concerns of men. Look with me at verses 32-34, where Paul writes, “32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. 33 But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests have been divided…”

The contrast here between pleasing the Lord and pleasing your wife is fascinating. In Deuteronomy 24:5, God commands newly married men to avoid public or civic duties so he can stay home for a year and “give happiness to his wife whom he has taken.” Here obedience to the Lord would please Him and your wife at the same time!

But we can’t miss that the newly married man had to forego public or civic duties during his first year of marriage. That part is more like what Paul is getting at here. Men will be able to give more of their time and money to the Lord if they are not married. You can be more invested in the ministries of the church and serve more people.

On the other hand, married men think about how to please their wives. This may include flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day, but it also includes all the food, shelter, clothing, and vacations too! Beyond that there are the daily responsibilities of chores, instruction, and leadership within the home. For married men with children, pleasing your wife might mean taking care of your kids so she can come attend the women’s conference in a few weeks!

But this is not a three-way competition between pleasing: the Lord, a wife, and yourself. If you are single by choice, you should not be fleeing marital duty simply to pamper your flesh. And if you’re single by necessity, then you may find your attention is divided between serving the Lord and seeking a wife. That tension is okay, just like it is okay to be divided between serving the Lord and pleasing a wife. Just be sure that you don’t wind up pleasing neither the Lord nor a wife, all because you’re too busy seeking your own interests to be distracted by serving others.

And for you married men, please understand that Paul is not devaluing the importance of pleasing your wife. He is simply reasoning with single men. The fact that the only two things on this list are the Lord and your wife indicates that she is your second highest priority in this life. Your job, your kids, your ministry—none of those things even make the list! Your top two concerns are the Lord and your wife. As many have said, “Happy wife, happy life.” So honor your wife with efforts to please her, rather than simply to maintain her. Peter says God disregards the prayers of men who do not live with their wives in an understanding way, so you cannot please Him without pleasing her.

But for the single men, they only have one bird to kill with one stone, rather than trying to to kill two at once. They are free to aim for the Lord and fire at will. Their service is less contingent on timing and family situations.

The Concerns of Women

And it is not men only who feel pulled in two directions. Look with me at verse 34, where Paul turns his attention to the concerns of women, “The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”

Grammatically, it’s clear that women will face distractions in marriage, just like men. But there are a few key differences. First, Paul divides “women” into two categories: the “unmarried” and the “virgins.” We have seen four references in this chapter to “unmarried” people, and most imply the meaning, “formerly married.”

Another difference is how Paul defines concern for the things of the Lord. For the men, he says it is “pleasing the Lord” while for the women it is “being holy in body and in spirit.” Paul does not explain or stress the difference, but it does seem to be intentional. There are a few texts in Scripture that seem to imply that sexual intimacy is defiling, but there are even more that teach it is natural and holy. So it is hard to say this text is a breakthrough.

Paul’s reference to the woman’s body may include the physical toll of marriage and consequent childbearing. Remember that pregnancy and childbirth were even harsher back in those times. Perhaps a woman may desire to be free from those challenges and the weariness of parenting, so she avoids marriage altogether. Who knows?

Surely Paul is not thinking of marriage apart from childbearing, as some might assume. Remember his command from 1 Timothy 5:14, “I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.” From this text, we see that it is biblical to consider marriage, children, and housekeeping as a package deal for women. Otherwise, Paul could have solved the sexual desire problem by encouraging a childless marriage. But he does not do that, and we should not either. It is dangerous to marry someone and then to rebel against God’s command to be fruitful and multiply, especially under the guise of pleasing Him. Remember Ananias and Sapphira’s hypocrisy.

This is not about infertility or how many children to have. Paul means that if you want to avoid the tensions of marriage—with children logically assumed, then you should stay single. But if you have sexual desires, then get married and make babies. Just don’t resort to a childless marriage so you can double dip in sex and service.

And even without children, either due to infertility or as an empty nester, married women will still be distracted by their husbands. Many of them complain that they just married a big kid! Everybody knows men need a lot of help.

This is why many of you older and unmarried women are very content just the way you are. Be diligent to maximize your singleness! If you are discipling a younger woman and you’re the single, undistracted one, maybe go to them for some meetings so that you can better understand their day to day life. Beyond their spiritual welfare, they need help being sensible and workers at home. Talk about laundry or meal planning. Clean the fridge. Get practical! Not only will you find more opportunities by being in their home, they may remember your ideas more often as well.

Transition

Now before we move on to our final point, let me remind you of verse 35, where Paul interjects to align the concerns of both men and women. He says, “This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.” While some might feel like Paul is trying to lasso and tie them down in singleness, Paul counters that he is just trying to help. His driving principles are appropriate sexual integrity and undistracted devotion to the Lord. And I think the order is instructive. It is more important to manage your sexual desires than it is to set yourself apart as a celibate servant. But singleness with contentment has many advantages.

So if you are single on purpose, steward the privilege carefully! And if you are single only by necessity, it’s hard—I get it! I won’t put thoughts into your mind by describing the trials, and I know different aspects are harder at different times for different people. Whether we are hoping for a spouse or something else, waiting is always hard. As I said, your devotion is distracted by desires to find a spouse, just like married people by desires to please a spouse. It’s normal and okay. Just do not become discouraged and please neither God nor man by your complacency.

Don’t assume that marriage will make you more diligent. Set goals, work hard to achieve them, and build spiritually-minded friendships. Maybe somewhere along the way, the Lord will be pleased to introduce you to someone else who shares the same commitments. Don’t be slack-handed simply because you are dissatisfied.

And don’t forget that whether you are single or married, your first priority should always be serving the Lord.

The Concerns of Fathers

That even seems to be the concern of fathers for their daughters as well. Look with me at verses 36-38 as I read from the NASB, which is also the same in the LSB, “But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no compulsion, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.”

This is a very difficult passage to interpret and translate. Let me reread the same verses from the ESV, “If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.” That’s talking about totally different people! Here are the two main views: father/daughter vs engaged couple.

I personally believe the father/daughter view is slightly more reliable. The one key argument in its favor has always been the same. The verb in verse 38 is fairly rare, but the evidence suggests it means “he who gives her in marriage.” That meaning best fits a father giving his daughter, since in the engaged couple view the man is taking the virgin in marriage, not giving her away. For most of church history, this has been the standard interpretation.

I think that if further evidence surfaces to confirm the verb in verse 38 can mean to give or to take, then I would agree with most modern scholars that Paul refers to an engaged couple. But until they find that evidence, I’ll stick with the traditional father/daughter view. And either way, there are interpretive challenges with both views.

Thankfully the basic meaning is the same in both cases. Paul is advising that marriage is good but that remaining single is better. This is no different from the rest of the chapter, except in the question of his target audience. But I think the principle is equally valid for both fathers with daughters and men with fiancees. Contextually, Paul seems to indicate that because of the present Corinthian distress, it would be good to defer marriage.

In 2 Peter 3:15-16, Peter warns his readers that in Paul’s letters there are “some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.” Peter does not tell us which passages are difficult, but 1 Corinthians had been around for quite a while when Peter wrote his epistle. So maybe he had our text in mind since 1 Corinthians 7:36-38 has at least 5 major interpretive issues, even beyond the big picture question of who Paul was talking to in the first place. And I do not even have time to point these issues out, let alone actually teach through these verses! So tonight I am simply giving you a high-level introduction to this text.

Because of Peter’s warning, I want to caution you against a danger in each view. Based on the father/daughter view, fathers are expected to work toward a significant role in the choice of the daughter’s spouse. The father’s wisdom is valuable, and daughters can honor fathers by deferring to their judgment. However, fathers must not abuse that authority or relationship, and there may be reservations with unbelieving or negligent fathers. This passage indicates that a spiritually mature father should consider restricting his daughter from marriage during seasons of distress. This would avoid unnecessary danger or hardship, and would keep her free to serve the Lord.

Similarly, it is sinful for Christians to twist the engaged couple view into meaning, “If you’re sinning sexually, it’s no big deal—just get married!” You can wait for a better time to get married, but you have no license for promiscuous fornication in the meantime. You must keep the marriage bed undefiled, as it says in Hebrews 13:4. Singles, you can be sure that if you get in bed with your fiancee, you will defile both the marriage bed and your conscience. But just like the father/daughter scenario, an engaged man may want to defer marriage until after a season of distress.

Conclusion

The key principle here is that everyone should be concerned about the things of the Lord. Wherever possible, you should seek to remain in situations where you can be devoted without distraction. The goal is to be free from concern, and this is for your own benefit. For most, that will mean getting or staying married, but for some it will actually mean staying single. This is why you have to count the cost beforehand. Marriage is a big commitment, and you need to assess the whole package with everything involved before you take the plunge. It is also important that you carefully tend to the motives and desires of your heart, since some are appropriate but others are not.

Postlude

I want to touch on the scenarios that included individuals with mixed motives. In short, it is neither impossible nor sinful to stay single for more than one reason. Let me read you something real quick. One apocryphal story says a man named Onesiphorus was watching travelers on a road, eager to meet the apostle Paul. Since it was his first time, Titus described Paul’s appearance for him. Here is what the narrator says, “And [Onesiphorus] saw Paul coming, a man little of stature, thin-haired upon the head, crooked in the legs, of good state of body, with eyebrows joining, and nose somewhat hooked, full of grace: for sometimes he appeared like a man, and sometimes he had the face of an angel.” If this story is true, then Paul was short, bald, and bow-legged, with a crooked nose and a unibrow! No wonder the poor fellow was never married!

But all joking aside, no one knows now if the description was actually true. But lots of people quote it since there is no reason to doubt it. It might explain part of the reason the cool kids at Corinth looked down on him.

My point is just that if you are going to be like Paul and claim to be single for the purpose of serving the Lord, then you’d better mean it. I don’t actually believe Paul was using his singleness as a coverup for being ugly. I believe he was earnest in his devotion without distraction, and his willingness to suffer great loss for Christ proved it. So for those of you who are single and claim it is for the Lord, I challenge you to follow his example. Don’t run from your problems or to the world, but run for the Lord. And for the rest who are married, please your spouse! By doing so you will please the Lord and find that your marital unity will contribute to single-mindedness in service.