Singleness

Bible Passage: 1 Corinthians 7:6-7 & 32-35

INTRO

“Soma Church exists to love the body of Christ and equip them to do the work of ministry here, near and far, all for the glory of God.”

I wanna start off our time together this morning by telling you the story of a woman named Amy Carmichael…

Show photo of Amy Carmichael

Amy was the eldest of 7 children born to a Northern Irish family in 1867. She was raised in a God fearing home that was distinctly marked by family worship, prayer and a strong presence of faith in God.

When she was 15 she placed her faith in Christ and was saved.

A defining moment in Amy’s life was the loss of her father to pneumonia at the age of 18. Amy loved her father deeply and his death was not only hard on them emotionally but put her mother and the 7 children in difficult place financially.

But Amy’s mother held a strong confidence in the grace and the sovereignty of God. Amy recalls finding her mom’s bible and turning it to Nahum 1:7 “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.” and she saw within the margins her mom had written “Found true.”

The faith of her mother and her relationship with God propelled her into leveraging her life for the sake of the gospel.

Right around this time, Amy had started a ministry to teenage girls called “Shawlies.”

“Shawlies” were poor teenage mill girls that worked fourteen hours a day and could not afford to buy hats, only shawls, to protect them from the cold.

This ministry grew so large that at it’s peak, over 500 Shawlies would regularly gather together for prayer, bible study and ministry.

Financial hardship moved her family to Manchester England where she would become very ill and eventually diagnosed with neuralgia. a horrible disease that attacks the nerves and makes the body achy and weak.

Shortly after this she goes to live with a family friend who was a widower and in need of help with his children. He would go on to make her his adopted daughter. She called him the “Dear Old Man.”

While she was there she began to discern a strong calling and desire to go and give her life to the mission of God around the world.

This took her to Japan at the age of 24 where she would stay for 15 months doing ministry and sharing the gospel.

She experienced many difficult times in Japan due to her health and other circumstances but she considered each one a “Chance to die” which would go on to be the title of her biography.

Her ministry eventually took her to India where she would give the rest of her life to rescuing and raising children who were rescued out of temple prostitution.

Her foundation, The Dohnavur Fellowship, is still doing ministry to this day.

Amy’s life is remembered and celebrated to this day as a person who embodied God’s command in Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

The one thing that I would like to point out about Amy’s life which is important for our time together this morning is that she was single for the entirety of her life.

And her life was complete.

No one could look at her life and the things that she did and say that she was lacking anything.

Her life was full of purpose, intentionality and worship to the King.

I fear today that especially within the modern evangelical church, we would look at someone like Amy Charmichael and at least subconsciously think to ourselves something like “She missed out” or “I wonder why no one married her?”

When the first thing that should come to our mind is “Amy Charmichael took the grace of God and made the most of it.”

BODY

This morning I want to accomplish 2 things…

First, I want to present to the body a theology of singleness.

Second, I wanna give our body practical wisdom from scripture on how we can all partner together to glorify God in this area.

1. Theology of Singleness

Throughout the Biblical story, we can see God choosing to use men and women to do amazing things who were single for a large portion of or for their entire life.

These include but are not limited to Jeremiah, John the Baptizer, Mary Magdelene, Phillips 4 daughters in Acts, The Apostle Paul.

How about the second person of the triune God, firstborn from among the dead, the first and the last, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Jesus Christ of Nazareth?

Now, Christ has a bride and her name is the church but we should not disregard the fact that Jesus did his earthly ministry as an unmarried man.

furthermore, in one of his teachings on marriage and divorce, Jesus says this in Matthew 19:11-12

Matthew 19:11–12 ESV

But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

A eunuch was a man who had his reproductive system removed.

Jesus says there are some people who are actually given by God the gift of singleness for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

Their calling is not to grow the Kingdom through being fruitful and multiplying in child bearing but in making disciples.

In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul is giving his commentary on the teachings of Jesus regarding Marriage, divorce and remarriage.

In this middle of this section of his letter he actually talks about singleness very highly.

1 Corinthians 7:6–7 ESV

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

Those are some powerful words from the one of the GOAT’s of church history

He wishes that more people were as he is… Single. Why?

1 Corinthians 7:32–35 ESV

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

The reality of singleness is that you are the only person that you need to worry about.

The married person has an obligation to their spouse which requires time and if they are graced with the gift of children an obligation to them as well.

There are many things in ministry that I will not do because I have a wife and kids who need my attention. they are my first ministry and that is what God has called me to.

Paul says, those who are single have nothing holding them back from “undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Singleness is a gift from God to be used for His glory.

As I mentioned earlier, I sense that the modern church has a very low view of singleness.

Singles feel that their life is lacking is they are not in a relationship

We frequently ask our single friends when they plan to get married almost pressuring them into relationship (Of which I am definitely guilty and sorry for).

I have been in many ministry conversations with seasoned pastors and church members who speak of the necessity for pastors to be married and ideally even have children.

If you hold to an opinion that disqualifies the apostle Paul or the Lord Jesus himself from pastoring our churches then you need to repent.

A life of singleness is not a curse, there is nothing wrong with you (Other than sin which is true of everyone), your life is not incomplete.

It is a gift. And wether it is for a season or for a lifetime, singleness is an opportunity…

So how do we single well and how does the church support her singles in their calling?

2. Practical Wisdom

Singles, this is not limited only to you but I do believe this is especially for you

This time of singleness should be focused upon consecration and leverage. A word on each…

Consecration

1 Peter 1:15–16 ESV

but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

For those who are single, do you long more for the things of God or a significant other? the things of God or a better friend group?

You have this amazing gift of God’s grace to focus all of your attention upon pursuing the LORD and growing in your intimacy with God free of distraction.

And if God does call you into a marriage the intimacy that you develop with Jesus during this time of waiting and consecration will make your marriage that much better.

Oh how often I long to be able to pack up and go be alone with God for days on end but I have kids to put to bed every night.

If you desire a spouse, what if you viewed singleness as your time in the fields like David before he became king?

If marriage is not in your future, what if you devoted your whole heart to loving and being loved by the Father?

Leverage

Matthew 19:12 ESV

For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

God has given some singleness for the sake of the Kingdom of God

God wants you to se your extra time and treasure to be leveraged for the Kingdom.

You are able to go places, give money and do things that those with spouses and children simply cannot.

Revelation 12:11 ESV

And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.

Are you loving not your life even unto death? or are you missing it, too focused upon yourself and what you don’t have at the moment?

Radical Support

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 ESV

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

May it never be said of us that we have singles in our midst who feel alone.

We have an obligation to support our singles in the unique calling that God has on their life.

CLOSING

Singles, Christ gave his life for the church. How can you give your life for her too?

Consecration, leverage, go on mission, serve

Church, Christ gave His life for our singles. How can you give your life for them?

Invite them into your family, have them around your table, support them, pray for them.

I pray that Soma would be a place that people would look on and see a family of people who are not marked our blood, but His.

PRAY