I'm Tired

Get up get up get out of bed. Get up get up you sleepyhead.

But I’m tired.

“But there is work to be done,” your mind replies. Things you need to do. And you know what they say? The early bird gets the worm. You can sleep when you’re dead. C’mon now. Burn the midnight oil. Rise and grind. Either get ahead or get left behind. You better hustle.

And so you do. You go to work early and come home late. You say yes even while inside you want to cry no. You have discovered your mind is an excellent multitasker. The only problem is, no one told you how to turn it off.

You check and double check off all the boxes but meanwhile, your spirit is frayed at the edges. All you seem to be is ....tired. In John O’Donahue’s Blessing for the Exhausted, he said:

“The tide you never valued has gone out. And you are marooned on unsure ground. Something within you has closed down; And you cannot push yourself back to life. You have been forced to enter empty time. The desire that drove you has relinquished. There is nothing else to do now but rest And patiently learn to receive the self You have forsaken for the race of days.”

One of the most honest prayers I have ever heard was from a man in his late eighties named JB. I was working an Emmaus walk and we were praying over him for his talk tomorrow. There was a lull and he said “I’m tired Lord. I don’t wanna pray no more. I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

Jesus says “come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Today’s text happens to be one of my favorites in the Message translation. Eugene said, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Just reading that gives me the chills. Just reading that makes my shoulders settle down and my breathing slow. Sabbath prayer is meant to lead us into sabbath rest. Sabbath worship is meant to lead us into Sabbath rest. Basically, all roads are meant to lead us towards the Sabbath. A.J. Swoboda says heaven is an eternal Sabbath. It is what we were made for. He notes how in the creation story, each day of the week has a morning and an evening, a beginning and an end. All except the Sabbath. Sabbath stands outside of the normal scope of time because it is meant to last forever. That’s at least how Rabbi Joshua Heschel felt, that our souls are always meant to be moving towards that rest and delight in God.

How hard is it for you to be still? To rest? Does your attempt at prayer feel more like work than resting? Does FOMO or hyperresponsiblity get the best of you?

Richard Foster talks about a retreat he was on off the Pacific coast of Canada. During a morning break, he got a canoe and paddled over to a tiny island. He explored around and at the top he found a weathered wooden platform where someone had placed an old weathered chair. He sat down and remembered his wife’s prayer before he left “I want you to come home refreshed.” And so he began to pray “Lord, refresh me.” He sensed God saying to him “I want to teach you Sabbath prayer.” Richard didn’t have a clue what this meant, but he listened. The words “be still....rest.… shalom” poured over him. It was a beautiful moment of being present inside the rest of God. But suddenly he was aware of the time. It’s nearly noon. I need to get back. People may wonder where I am. I need to get back for lunch. Then the words came again “be still....rest....shalom.” And so he settled back into rest and calm. After a while, he sensed hyperresponsibility. I need to be there. What kind of example am I setting if I am late? Everyone will be concerned by my absence. They may think I have tipped over the canoe or got lost. Once again the words “be still.… rest.… shalom” He settled into calm again. A few moments later he began to think what an incredible moment this was. I should capture it down so I can remember it before the final call to “be still....rest....shalom” came over him. Eventually he returned only to discover that no one had really noticed he was gone. His absence was barely noticed but his presence was certainly felt by God.

Maybe this feels all too familiar to you. There are so many things that seek to distract us from God’s rest? What might some of yours be? A.J. Swoboda says in the Jewish tradition, there is a word for these distractions called muksteh which is seen as anything that tempts us to lose the spirit of rest, whether it is the temptation to check our phone or email or to even get back like Foster was saying. My interruptions love to pop up in the middle of when I am trying to rest on a Sunday afternoon or in the middle of the night. It wants to tell me of all the things I need to be doing. The rest of God isn’t about doing as much as it is about being. It isn’t an inactive rest. It is a dependent rest. What might your interruptions be? What keeps nagging at you and pulling you away from placing yourself inside the rest of God?

In the midst of all that pulls at us, can you hear the Sabbath prayer- “be still....rest .… peace? What is the fruit of Sabbath prayer? Richard Foster says “through the prayer of rest God places his children in the eye of the storm. When all around us is chaos and confusion, deep within we know stability and serenity. In the midst of intense personal struggle we are still and relaxed. While a thousand frustrations seek to distract us, we remain focused and attentive. This is the fruit of the prayer of rest.”

But sometimes we never get to the fruit because we are resistant to God’s rest. We say we don’t need a nap. We just keep going. But to enter into God’s rest is to trust.

Rest is not only resisting against the grind culture, it is also placing ourselves into a position and place of trust. A couple of nights ago Adalyn woke me up in the middle of the night after a bad dream. She kept laying there asking if I would stay until morning. She is only able to fall asleep when she is wrapped up in mine or Jim’s arms. her head so close I can feel her breath. Her arm tangled in mind. Her hand holding on to mine. In that space of trust, there is complete surrender to rest.

Swoboda says “A day of worship is where Christians return to a place of rest. Sabbath is a form of trust. A Sabbath nap is a form of trust. To nap on the Sabbath is to say that trust in God has taken its rightful place. When we rest, we are worshipping God. When we are rest, we are proclaiming God is God. Not my work. Not my efforts. Only God is God. Therefore, we can trust with all our being his capacity to care for us.”

God’s rest is always more effective than human work. K.J. Ramsey says that sometimes, “rest is the most courageous work of all.”

Come to me, all you who are weary, all you who are tired, all you who are burned out and frayed and over it. Come to me. Draw near. Get as close as you can. And in that space surrender. In that space trust. In that space be still....rest.… and be at peace.