Marriage: A Home for Holiness

Bible Passage: Hebrews 3:1-13

INTRO

“Soma Church exists to love the body of Christ and equip them to do the work of ministry here, near and far, all for the glory of God.”

As we dive into week 3 of Sacred Ground we are going to be looking at marriage. and I want to answer this question together… What is the purpose of marriage?

When we think about the family structure, marriage really is the bedrock of the family because out of the marriage between a man and a woman comes the fruit of children.

If we are viewing this through the lens of Christ, it is the marriage of Christ to His bride, the Church, that leads to the fruit of disciples being created.

Our marriages are merely an earthly pictures of this reality, they are walking Gospel Pictures.

So we could just very quickly say this morning that the purpose of our marriages is for God’s glory and we would be correct in doing so.

I mean after all, Paul tells us in Romans 11:33-36

Romans 11:33–36 ESV

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?” “Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?” For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

But, how do we see this play out? How do these broken relationships between two fallible and sinful people serve to bring God glory, honor and fame?

I think that most of us would say, a healthy marriage is a God honoring marriage.

Focus on the Family recently did a massive multi thousand person study on marriage and the top 5 responses to the question “What drives a healthy marriage?” were as follows…

Trust, Love for each other, Respect, Sexual Intimacy, Listening to each other.

All of those things sound great, right?! Except for that is obviously not working since 40%-50% of first marriages alone are ending in divorce.

I wanna present to you the thought that maybe we are thinking about marriage all wrong.

What if the key to a healthy marriage which in turn is a God glorifying marriage was not happiness, trust, respect, active listening or sex but holiness?

Martin Luther once said that marriage is a “School for Character”

I actually wanna change that just slightly to say that marriage is a “A Home for holiness”

I want to unpack this together this morning in the book of Hebrews.

BODY

The book of Hebrews is a letter written to Hebrews

The main thrust of the letter is to point to Jesus as the God of the Old testament and the fulfillment of the promises He made to them.

With this being the case, you will see as we read many themes relating back to Old Testament stories and jewish tradition.

And as we dive into Hebrews 3, the author has just gotten through laying out the supremacy of Christ giving a defense for why He bears the name that is above every name.

And the last thing that we read, before we jump into chapter three is this

Hebrews 2:18 ESV

For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Before we look at God’s design and intention for our marriages, I think it is important to note that He understands.

He knows how marriage hard. He himself is the one who inspired Paul to write 1 Cor 7:28

1 Corinthians 7:28 ESV

But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

If you are struggling in your marriage today, God understands. His heart towards you and your marriage this morning is that His word would bring healing and restoration as we devote ourselves to it.

With that in mind, we read in Hebrews 3…

Hebrews 3:1–6 ESV

Therefore, holy brothers, you who share in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession, who was faithful to him who appointed him, just as Moses also was faithful in all God’s house. For Jesus has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses—as much more glory as the builder of a house has more honor than the house itself. (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.) Now Moses was faithful in all God’s house as a servant, to testify to the things that were to be spoken later, but Christ is faithful over God’s house as a son. And we are his house, if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope.

Immediately we see the backdrop for the rest of what is going to be said in the words “Holy brothers.”

This is written to and for those who are called holy by faith in Christ.

The gospel is the backbone of the christians life, including their marriage.

He encourages us to consider Jesus…

How many of us are considering Jesus in our marriages?

Looking to Him as our help, and our model.

Or are we looking to ourselves?

And we look to Him because He is faithful

Christ is the one who was faithful to every command of God, living the life we couldn’t.

Christ is the groom who is faithful to His bride even when she is unfaithful to Him.

Because of this, he has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses

Explain Historical significance of this.

Christ is of more significance than Moses because Moses is just a stone in the house and Christ is the one who builds the house.

Jesus is the builder of the house called your marriage

This also means that He is the one who brought you and your spouse together for the purpose of His glory and your good.

In a world that believes that husband and wife are brought together by sex, love, the universe, or some other power, Followers of Jesus must cling to the truth that He is the one who brings men and women together in marriage.

Since He is the builder, to try and build your marriage by any other means will lead to failure.

God will not share His glory with anyone

Your marriage is meant to be a walking picture of God’s love for and relationship with His church

Your marriage is not primarily for you but for Him. He builds it therefore He should get the credit.

If we are occupying ourselves with the glory of God then we should want that also in our marriages.

Are you letting God build your marriage?

When we submit to his construction, and exist for His glory that is when our marriages will go well.

But many of us fail to do this and that is why we are frustrated in our marriages…

That’s why The writer of Hebrews goes on to say…

Hebrews 3:7–11 ESV

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, on the day of testing in the wilderness, where your fathers put me to the test and saw my works for forty years. Therefore I was provoked with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart; they have not known my ways.’ As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest.’ ”

How many of us are walking around with hard hearts in our marriages?

Harboring bitterness, choosing resentment, impatient, naggy, not present.

Where did the Israelites hardness of heart get them when God brought them out of Egypt?

The Wilderness.

Many marriages feel like the wilderness because one or both parties involved are hard hearted.

Soft hearts make happy marriages.

How do we soften our hearts?

Look again at verse 7…

Hebrews 3:7 ESV

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice…

Are you listening for His voice?

Are you more focused on your voice, your spouses voice or God’s voice?

Your marriage is a home for holiness, not a palace of perfection

If your spouse is hard hearted, then you need to listen to the voice of the Spirit of God and pray for them. ask God to forgive them and speak to them.

Don’t have hard hearts, instead…

Hebrews 3:12–13 ESV

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

CLOSING

If our marriages are meant to be homes for our holiness, then are we primarily concerned with the holiness of ourselves and our spouse over everything else?

What does the text say? Exhort one another so that each of us may not sin.

What if the primary goal of your marriage switched from making yourself happy, making your spouse happy, gratifying your desires, being slaves to your children and all of the things that we fall into as married couples…

And it became about daily going to the cross of Christ and inviting your spouse to come join you?

Understanding that the closer your get to HIM, the closer he will bring you to one another.

Husbands, what if you grabbed your wife by the hand tonight and prayed over her?

Wives, What if you helped your husband lead your home by encouraging Him and graciously communicating your desires?

Couples, what if you sat down and talked through the rhythms of your marriage that do not reflect the primary goal being your own holiness and made changes no matter how drastic.

Some in the room today may need to take some drastic steps…

Confess sin, change your lifestyle completely, but can I tell you something…

He will not let you down. Your obedience will ultimately lead to your joy.

PRAY