Victory Over Sexual Sins

Time: 45 minutes

Goal: To break shame, reveal God’s heart, and empower participants to walk in purity with grace, truth, and practical tools.

Going to speak plainly but I will try to be sensitive to those who have truama in this area. And my hope is that shame will be broken off all of you as you learn to walk in purity with God.

PART 1 – GOD IS FOR YOU! (7 min)

Main Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4

[READ] 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

Say:

“Sexual purity isn’t just a command—it’s a gift. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, ‘This is the “will of God”, your sanctification.

(To be made holy as he is holy)

The lie of the enemy for sexual sin is rooted in the same lie that was told to Adam and Eve. That God is trying to keep good things away from you as he makes us into his image. That he is trying to withhold pleasure and keep us from experiencing the real good stuff.

But God’s limits and boundaries are not to keep us from experiencing pleasure, but so we could experience it in its safest and most pleasurable form.

But like Adam and Even when we believe the lie of the enemy AND we feel shame, AND we want to hide from Gods face AND that carries us away into the bondage of all kinds of sexual sins.

So the real problem behind sexual sin isn’t just the behavior that we are ashamed of— BUT it’s because its the gas lighting deception that has caused us to trade intimacy with God for something lesser.

Have you ever believed the lie that God wants to reject you because of your sexual activity? Have you ever wanted to hide your face from Him because of the sexual sin?

That Shame that you feel Is a Barrier to Freedom

It makes you feel hopeless and locked in to an unbreakable cycle of failure (I failed yet again, why would a perfect God want anything to do with me).... and you live convinced that God is disgusted with you and that you will never be of any use to Him.

So you isolate yourself further into spiritual solitary confinement; away from his loving arms, and you believe the enemies lies that you are beyond redemption.

But the Truth is God Is Not Disgusted with You—He Is For You

“Certainly God is grieved by sexual sin, but it is a grief rooted in love. The only reason God is grieved by our sin so much is because He loves us so much. If He didn’t love you, if His heart wasn’t for you, why would He care what you do?”​

So Freedom Begins with Identity, Not Behavior

“Identity that we are NOW His. Bought with a price.

That what God accomplished through His Son was complete for anything we have done and anything we will do. So our behavior is not what God is interested in, because he already did all the work. He wants our heart.”

So we overcome shame by returning to intimacy with Jesus, not by obsessing over perfection. Because you going to hear some strategies in a moment (that you will be tempted to do perfectly) but its not about doing them perfectly its about pursuing him fervently.

God’s will is for us to live pure and holy lives, and He gives us the grace and the power to walk in purity—not perfectly, but increasingly (and thats sanctification).

PART 2 – FOUR KEYS TO WALK IN PURITY (20 min total)

KEY blank #1: Accept God’s moral standard (2 min)

Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:3 – “Sexual immorality… must not even be named among you…”

1 Timothy 5:1–2 – “…younger women as sisters, in all purity.”

Say:

Not my standard; not the red table talk standard, not social medias standard. BUT Everybody say “God’s Standard”.

And God’s standard is sexual purity. Which is when we honor God with our thoughts desires and bodies to align with how he said we should get sexual gratification.

Now the world would call this purity outdated, unrealistic, even harmful. Thoughts like how can you marry a person without test driving the person.

But REMEMBER God’s standard gives us boundaries to bless us, not bind us.

So how do we agree with God’s standard?

KEY blank #2: Flee from immoral and compromising situations. (10 min)

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 6:18–20 – “Flee from sexual immorality… your body is a temple…”

1 Peter 4:3 – “The time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do…”

Say:

“In Job 31:1 - Job made a covenant with his eyes. He knew purity wasn’t just about behavior— but that impure thoughts start somewhere. So he needed to train his eyes, his mind, and his heart ahead of time.”

He knew: you have to decide ahead of time how to think, where to look, and when to walk away.

Heres the thing if we are honest most times: You dont just all of a sudden end up in that persons bed; you dont just all of a sudden stumble onto that website. That big boulder of sin started as a small pebble in your mind somewhere.

It starts normally in men with their eyes. In women it will probably starts with their emotional needs but it can also be visual.

So a practical strategy you can take is to use my BYE acronym. Everyone say BYE. Girl BYE or Boy BYE stands for “Bounce Your Eyes/ Bounce Your Emotions”.

So when that woman walks past you bounce your eyes away from her. When you start to feel unloved or unpretty bounce your thoughts to the truth of God’s love for you.

Because when you DONT STOP these seemingly harmless indiscretions of attention; it becomes you trying to sneak small little moments of forbidden sexual gratification.

Dont play around with sexual sin, you are not that strong. (Telling yourself I can handle the beautiful sports anchor on my ESPN highlights, nothing wrong with getting the weather on Telemundo. I can listen to this story with a raunchy sex scene in it and it wont bother me.)

Paul knew we don’t resist sexual sin by flirting with it— NO he says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 WE RUN!!!.

Paul doesn't say get up politely or when your ready He says, ‘Flee (RUN Away) from sexual immorality.’

And fleeing doesn’t just mean avoiding people—it means avoiding screens, changing your settings, shows, songs, and situations that feed your fleshly desires.

So if you feel the temptation coming on, get up and leave. Go to a different room. Go for a walk. Find a room with other people. RUN.

BUT it’s not just the eyes. Because our world is constantly bombarding us with sex, impure thoughts often will show up in our minds unannounced. That’s why we also have to take our thoughts captive.

[READ] 2 Corinthians 10:5 (ESV) — 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

So as soon as an impure thought comes across your mind tell it BYE. Ask the Lord to send that thought as far as the east is from the west.

Immediately take it captive, Because if we give it any air play in our minds, if we improperly process our thoughts (ie; images from online ads, sex scenes in shows; a full figured woman you drive by on the road, a man with good smelling cologne you pass in the store) our minds begin to get carried away with impure thoughts.

Reflective Question

So take a minute a write down some compromising times of the day/night or environment you need to flee from starting this week? (In other words when do feel most tempted).

Then I want you to list some things you can do instead. (Go for a walk. Do some laundry, sleep with your phone outside the room get an old fashion alarm clock. Call your accountability partner )(well get to that in a second),

*the task should be easy and simple to do for that time of day and night.

After the pause

Have your fire escape already mapped out. If you stay ready you aint got to get ready. Because I promise you if you try and think about a godly thing when you in the moment of temptation, its too late.”

James 1:14–15 (ESV) — 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Alright lets keep going.

KEY blank #3: Store God’s word in your heart. (3 min)

Scripture:

Psalm 119:11 – “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

Say:

“You won’t win this battle without truth. The enemy lies. Culture lies. Our emotions lie. Only the Word of God is true. We have to use scripture in our battle with sexual sin. Jesus used Scripture in the wilderness to silence temptation. So so should we.”

In your packet you should have a list of scriptures to get you started, add as many as you like and put them up in your house, your car, your workplace. Sticky notes work great and you can put that right on your laptop keypad. On the dashboard of your car. Put it as the wall paper of your phone.

Now in a minute we will learn how to use this word practically. How to spiritually sword fight if you will. But for now…

Challenge:

Look through the list and “What verse do you need to memorize this week to stand in the face of temptation?” (what verse immediately stands out to you)

The 4th blank: Walk in accountability and transparency. (5 min)

Scriptures:

2 Timothy 2:22 – “Pursue righteousness… with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

James 5:16 – “Confess your sins to one another… that you may be healed.”

Say:

“Sexual sin thrives in secrecy. But healing comes in confession. Accountability isn’t about control—it’s about covering. It’s choosing to walk with others instead of pretending to be fine alone.”

Because yes we are called to be children of the light, living transparent and honest lives, but we aint just talking to people in the lobby about our sexual activity last night (that be wierd).

So we have to be selective about who we bring into that space of our lives.

And Finding true and meaningful accountability is a little bit of trial and error. Because you want someone you can trust, who aint gone go out and tell your business. Someone who will pray for your regularly. Someone who can call you on your stuff when you mess up.

Who will be graceful and loving to you when you mess up but aint gone condone what you did. You want someone to challe nge and encourage you to try again, but not put you in shame.

So “Do you have someone in your life who knows the real you and prays for you regularly? Who you have accountability with as i have explained it?”

Challenge:

“If not i want you to: Write down 2 people who you can invite into accountability with you.”

Don't say I don't know nobody like that and leave here without covering. This weekend is about waking in freedom not staying in bondage. So who do you need to “invite” (meaning this is probably the beginning of knowing a person like that)

PART 3 – ACTIVATION: “Root and Fruit” Reflection (8 min)

Supplies: Notecards and pens

Say:

“Behind every struggle with sexual sin is something deeper. It’s not just about behavior—it’s about belief. So let’s take a few minutes to explore this.”

Take out that index card.

Step 1 – Write the Fruit (2 min)

“On one side of the card, write one specific area of struggle or temptation—your ‘fruit.’watching x..; doing x…; practicing x…” Keep it private.”

Step 2 – Identify the Root (3 min)

“Flip the card. Ask God, ‘What’s at the root of this?’ Is it loneliness? Rejection? Trauma? Stress? Insecurity? Write that root word.”

Step 3 – Write God’s Truth (4 min)

“Now choose one of the Scriptures I gave you or another one meaningful to that speaks to your root. Scratch through it and Write it beneath the root on the card.”

“Freedom doesn’t come from behavior change. It comes when we heal the root and receive truth.” AND that only comes when we have intimacy with Christ

PART 4 – FINAL ENCOURAGEMENT + PRAYER (5 min)

Say:

Remember you need not walk in shame any linger. You are not disqualified. You are not alone. And you are not powerless. Jesus died not just to forgive you—but to free you.”

1 Corinthians 6:11 (ESV) — 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Example of a runner falling forward on a track after tripping in a race. But he got up and finished the race.

Closing Prayer:

“Jesus, thank You for loving us while we were still sinners. Thank You that our bodies were bought with a price. We surrender our struggles, our minds, our past, and our desires to You. Teach us to walk in holiness and healing. Fill us with Your Spirit and surround us with Your grace. In Your name, amen.”