Goliaht Must Fall: Anger

What do I want people to know? Ungodly anger must fall

Why? Anger not only holds us back but hurts us

What do I want people to do? Be patient, have Godly communication, forgive and give grace

Why? It defeats the Goliath and brings healing

ME/WE

Some days I can for part of a day, a moment, I can get so angry sometimes. Not always for big reasons. Sometimes it's small things. But it builds. And it bursts.

Sometimes I get angry because

Somebody did something so offensive to me

Or somebody is spreading a lie that we know or one we see on social media….which is part of the point…lies promote anger and more viewership

It might because of an unmet expectations

That person didn’t do that thing they said they would.

Or a quick run to the store took an hour when it should have take less than 30 minutes…but the lines! or they didn’t have what you wanted so you had to go to another store!

You didn’t meet your own expectation

I know none of us have been here, our kids didn’t did meet their expectations of what they are supposed to do.

Then they are angry and hurt because we then became to HARSH with them and that’s not good!

Sometimes the anger is triggered by someone crossing a boundary—something they said, something they did, a place they shouldn’t have gone. And suddenly, something inside us flares up.

The list goes on.

As we can see there are ample opportunities for us to get angry.

Which can leads us to an ungodly response of anger..

Not for us, right? Christians

We wish this was true!

The reality is, anger is one of those emotions we all face regularly. Not to justify it but reconize it is something we all struggule with.

Where on average woman have an outburst of ungodly anger how oftern? about every other day...NOT TO JUSTIFY by RECONIGIZE

What about men? about once a day

NOT JUSTIFYING IT! We are reconigzing it is human struggle

Not only that what’s wild about ANGER is we can flip like a switch from HAPPY, JOYFUL to ANGER

Did that one things

Said that one thing

What is that?

HOw do we stop ungodly anger?

So the big question is: what do we do stop ungodly ANGER, the Goliath ANGER or deal with anger in a godly way not ungodly.

But before we learn about how DEAL with UNGODLY ANGER in a GODLY WAY get there lets remind ourselves there is godly anger too

∫TWO PAUSES

Positive or negtive...trick question natural

Anger, like love, is an emotion—not inherently good or bad. What makes it righteous or sinful is where we direct it and what we do with it.

Illustration/Explanation: Anger is not a sin in itself. Just like love, it has the potential for great good—or great harm. You can love what is right, or you can love what is destructive. A person can love God—or love an addiction. They can love their spouse—or love someone who isn’t theirs to love.

The same is true with anger.

Ephesians 4:26 ESV

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

Why does God get angry and we are grateful he does.

In the Bible, we see that Godly anger is never random or petty; it's always rooted in something deeply just and righteous.

Godly gets angry at persistent injustice—when people are oppressed and the vulnerable are mistreated.

2. Godly angered by hypocrisy, especially when those who claim to represent Him act in ways that contradict His character.

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One last pause before we dive into how we deal with ungodly anger in a godly way….let’s remind ourselves how destructive anger is to us who hold unto anger.

It makes us BITTER…not better

It has negative health implications, such as high blood pressure, prone to more sicknesses, and anxiety, depression root is anger

it destroys relationships

Matthew 5:21–22 ESV

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

HOW DO WE DEAL WITH UNGODL ANGER IN A GODLY WAY?

James 1:19 ESV

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

What is the word that is said twice in this verse that we don’t like in our flesh? SLOW

What’s another word we can use for slow? BE PATIENT

Who loves patience??? NO HANDS

But who will admit that patience and slowness is good when it comes to anger?

Hands?

Yes, why?

Anger gets us to….REACT not RESPOND

- speak before thinking.

- act before praying

- wound before we understand.

BUT WHAT Patience gives your mind and spirit time to filter your emotions through God’s wisdom instead of your impulses.

Without patience → you react.

With patience → give you the opporutnity to respond in a Godly way.

what are we to be patient with as James 1 says? Our speaking

What are we to be quick with? Listen…what don’t we do if we are quick to speak? NOT LISTEN

we have never done this right… we also get it right and NEVER rush to conconculsions or judgements?

Our friend, child, spouse is staring to explain something…and we jump all over them and then feel like an IDOIT when jump to conclusions.

God says QUICK TO LISTEN...be patient...slow to speak

PRAISE GOD HE IS PATIENT WITH US

we've discovered that the way we handle ungodly anger in a godly way is really by following James 1:19: being patient, being slow to speak, and slow to become angry. But let’s not forget, we’re called to be patient because God Himself is patient with us. He’s not asking us to do something He doesn’t model. In fact, we see this so clearly in Scripture. In Exodus 34:6, it describes God as slow to anger, and that word for patience is like 'long in the nose,' meaning He doesn’t have a quick fuse. Being 'short-nosed' or 'hot-nosed' is like having a short temper, but God is the opposite—He’s patient with us. And we even see this patience in places like Exodus 5, the first time we really see God’s anger surface. So it’s a beautiful reminder that the patience we’re called to show is the same patience He so graciously shows us.

SLOW TO SPEAK:

we are to speak

So what we really need is regular, healthy communication to help diffuse anger. And how does that communication bring health? Well, one key thing is our tone and our language. Those set the level and pace of whether anger is going to flare up or calm down. For example, if we tell someone the truth—like we let them know, "Hey, this thing you did really offended me"—but we do it with a harsh tone, like yelling, "I can't believe you! You're such an idiot!" then even if we’re speaking truth, we’re just adding fuel to the fire. Instead of putting the fire out, we’re actually making it worse. So yes, we are to speak—we’re just supposed to be slow to speak and measured in our language. Like it says in Proverbs, a gentle answer turns away harshness.

Proverbs 15:1 ESV

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

after we’ve got our tone and language in the right place, it’s crucial that we actually communicate our feelings and expectations. One of the biggest reasons we end up with unresolved anger is because of unmet or just unspoken expectations.

And let’s be real, we’ve all seen this—counselors will tell you it’s super common. Person A is mad at Person B, and the root cause is that Person B had no idea what Person A was expecting in the first place. It’s not about black-and-white scriptural commands; it’s about those personal preferences and desires that we never voice. And sure, even if you express what you want, it doesn’t guarantee you’ll get it or that the other person will meet that expectation. But at least by putting it out there, you’ve created clarity. And clarity can really reduce that hidden tension and help keep anger from simmering under the surface.

LASTLY TO DIFUSE ANGER WE NEED TO FORGIVE AND GIVE GRACE TO THE ONE WHO OFFENDED YOU....not always reconcile...hope and goal but not

FORGIVENSS AND GRACE

So the final point in defusing anger is all about giving grace and forgiveness. We’ve talked about being slow to speak, quick to listen, and measured in how we speak so that it’s godly. But ultimately, anger really won’t be fully diffused until we choose to forgive the person who’s offended us. And I know that’s hard. It’s not easy because, yes, they really hurt you. They said mean things or did hurtful things. But God shows us that forgiveness is key.

It doesn’t always mean reconciliation—that would be wonderful if it can happen safely, but sometimes it’s not wise to be reconciled with someone who’s abusive or continues to harm you. The point is to lay down the offense in your own heart. Like it says in Proverbs, we’re called not to hold onto that offense but to release it.

Proverbs 19:11 ESV

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

And yes, we might feel, "They don’t deserve it," but remember, neither do we deserve God’s forgiveness, yet He gives it to us. Just like in that story in Matthew about the servant who was forgiven a huge debt but then wouldn’t forgive a smaller debt. We need to be those who forgive, so that we can truly let go of that anger and live in freedom.

Matthew 18:21–35 ESV

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

📍 Application: What Now?

Church, if we want to defeat the Goliath of anger in our lives, we must get honest about it. Ungodly anger must fall—not just because it’s "bad," but because it holds us back from the joy, freedom, and relationships God desires for us… and it hurts us and those we love.

So what do we do?

Here’s what I want us to walk away with today:

Be patientChoose slowness. Slow to speak. Slow to anger. Quick to listen.It’s not weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s strength under God’s control….PRAYER FOR GOD TO HELP DEVELOP THE MUSCLE

Communicate in a godly wayLet your tone match your intent. Speak the truth in love, not in rage.Express expectations. Don’t assume people know. Clear communication is one of your greatest tools against anger.

Forgive and give graceNot because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be free.You don’t have to carry the weight of offense. Drop it at the feet of Jesus, who already carried your full debt.

This is how you slay the Goliath of anger—by walking in the power of patience, godly communication, and radical grace.

🙏 Closing Invitation: Let the Goliath Fall

Some of you today are tired—tired of the outbursts, the tension, the broken conversations, the simmering rage. Others are carrying old wounds, or fresh ones. And some of us know we’ve wounded others with our own harshness or silence.

But here’s the good news: Jesus didn’t die just to forgive our sins—He rose to give us freedom. Even from the chains of anger.

So here’s the invitation:

Maybe you need to repent—to turn away from the way you’ve been responding and ask God to change your heart.

Maybe you need to forgive someone who hurt you deeply.

Maybe you need to ask someone to forgive you—to humble yourself and make it right.

Or maybe you just need to sit in God’s presence and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit so you can be patient, kind, and self-controlled.

Whatever your next step is—take it. Don't let this moment pass. Don’t just hear the Word—live it.

Because when anger falls… healing rises. When bitterness dies… freedom lives. When grace flows… Jesus is glorified.

So let’s pray, and ask God to help us do what we cannot do on our own—to defeat ungodly anger and walk in His peace.