By Choice, Not by Compulsion: Philemon 1:14

Not by Compulsion, By Choice

Biblical Story: Philemon and Onesimus, Philemon 1:8-21…emphasis 8, 14 and 21

Topics: Submitted Will, Obedience through relationship, Self-Righteousness, Victim Mindsets, Forgiveness

Reference and Passages: Philemon 1:8-21 NKJV

Opening: Welcome, Introduce Yourself thank Pastors A+J and all Pastors at Mosaic, celebrate teams that are away ministering at BCF, Camps etc across the UK.

Story: Olivia not wanting to clean her room and helping me throw her own toys away because she was so wilful not to have to clean up after herself

That’s a funny story but how many of us can relate? Any strong-willed warriors in the room? How about any parents with children like this? Today we’re going to continue our series in Philemon and we’re going to look at how Paul addresses his friend and mentions that he’d like for him to make his decision about receiving Onesimus “Not by compulsion, but by choice”

TEXT-Philemon 1:8-21 NKJV

Let’s quickly review the story if you’ve missed any of the series… We have a man named Philemon…he was a good friend of the Apostle Paul (he wrote this letter we’re reading from), he and his wife pastored a church in their home.  Historic texts and references would lead us to believe they were most likely a wealthy family.  Culturally, at that time, it was not uncommon for wealthy people to have slaves in their home.  For us today, that’s a really shocking thing to think about and Scripture is clear that slavery is wrong and wicked. When we read Scripture, we have to understand contextually what was going on at the time in the culture etc.. When Jesus came on the scene, he RADICALLY shifted cultural and social norms.  As followers of Christ began to be sent out into the world to preach the Gospel they had to grapple with the tension of what those shifts in culture would look like.  So here we are getting to read a letter about a man who owned a slave, the slave wronged him in some way that isn’t explicitly stated but most likely he stole something and then ran away, this man has become a Christian and a pastor and we get and inside look at how following Jesus reshapes and reframes this man’s life and choices and how that impacts all those around him.

I. “Choosing” is about submitting our will, not serving it (John 14:23, James 3:17-18, Phil 2:12-13, 2 Cor 5:14-15)

A. God gave mankind free will in the Garden. But when sin separated us from Him, we began using our will to decide our processes, and our preferences.

1. “At the heart of liberty is the right to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life.”-Justice Anthony Kennedy Planned Parenthood v. Casey, 505 U.S. 833, 851 (1992)

B. God gave us free will for a reason: so that we could freely respond to His choice of us. *John 14:23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make our home with him.”    

 Obey (Greek: ὑπακούω / hypakoúō) = to follow orders, to do what is commanded.

Submit (hypotássō) = to willingly place yourself under, to yield out of love, humility, or respect.

Obedience flows out of love, submission is a response of being freely and unconditionally loved. When we submit our will to a holy, trustworthy, loving God, He redeems it — using it for His glory and our transformation. *Philippians 2:12-13 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.”  Even our willingness is a work of God’s Spirit in us!

C. Paul says he could have commanded Philemon to comply (v.8)  But instead, he appeals to him through love, through relationship (submitted will), and through identity (follower of Jesus). Why? Because mutually submitted wills keep relationships healthy in Christ, while having to compel someone by authority creates tension. Can we be people who do not need to be muscled into compliance? Can we be a people who submit our will to the will of others God has placed to care for us and to be in relationship with? 2 Cor. 5:14-15…the love of Christ compels me so I dont live for myself but for Him!

D. Our willpower can only take us so far. Eventually it fails. (I mean, anyone here ever been on a diet? All I have to do is look through the years of my Facebook profile pictures to see how my strength of will has ebbed and flowed!)

E. When we serve our will instead of submitting it to Christ, we end up trying to carve out our own path to righteousness — and that path always runs dry. But when we surrender our will to Him, He fills it with His life and His power. James 3:17-18 wisdom is willing to yield

II. “Choosing” is NOT being the bigger person (Romans 10:1-4, 2 Corinthians 5:21, Phil 2:3-4)

A. A surface reading of this passage could insinuate that Paul is asking Philemon to “be the bigger person”

B. Moral codes in our society come from Godly principles but leave Jesus’ work out Romans 10:1-4. “My beloved brothers and sisters, the passionate desire of my heart and constant prayer to God is for my fellow Israelites to experience salvation. For I know that although they are deeply devoted to God, they are unenlightened. And since they’ve ignored the righteousness God gives, wanting instead to be acceptable to God because of their own works, they’ve refused to submit to God’s faith-righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law. And because of him, God has transferred his perfect righteousness to all who believe.”

C. “Being the bigger person” makes me the hero of the story…Self righteousness is wicked because the enemy uses our very-right desire to be righteous by keeping us constantly striving and working to attain something that was already freely given to us.  (Those that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled, the more filled we are with Jesus the more righteous we become not the more good things we choose to do the more righteous we become. )

D.  The more filled we are with Jesus the more aware we are of His love and trustworthiness, the more humble we are and the more free we are to make choices because HE is the hero of our life…

E. We make righteous choices In Christ, not by our own will but because He is righteous and we are In Him! 2 Corinthians 5:21… in HIM we become the righteousness of God

we are not guided by a moral code which we fulfil by the strength of our will.

We are guided, informed and transformed by a loving God who gave His Son for us… and though we don’t always understand His processes in our natural mind, that love and gratitude drive us to a place of humility and surrender which demands we imitate His choices in every way possible, even when we are "rightly owed” something because our choice still pales in comparison to His choice to set us free despite how unworthy we are in light of His holiness righteousness

III. Choosing means we don’t have to live as victims (Gal 5:1 NIV, Luke 17:1-5, John 8:36

A. In the text-Philemon was definitely wronged.  This was not a spat between friends.  He was legally in the “right” so why accept him back as a brother?

B. Forgiveness is not easy, it’s not to say that something wasn’t wrong— it’s a choice to accept Christ’s payment for the wrong done to us…Forgiveness says: what was done to me was wrong, but the payment has already been made (as Pastor Wes preached… Paul even said...If he still owes you something...put it on my account)

C. Forgiveness is a transformational work not a “gritty getting over it…” It’s really important that we understand the nuances in things like this… in the same way we are not “being the bigger person” we’re not just “getting over it” when something is done to us.  Why? Because, again, that makes us the hero of the story by force of will.  Forgiveness is submitting and accepting the payment that was owed to us is already paid and we accept that In Christ. We live in the blessing and freedom of Jesus’ sacrifice...He whom the Son sets free, is free indeed. John 8:36

D. The alternative is living as a victim. And being a victim keeps you behind walls — isolated, guarded, assuming the worst, afraid of being taken advantage of again. But Jesus said in Luke 17 that offenses will come. Jesus told the disciples: “If it’s seven times in the same day, you forgive.” Their response? “Increase our faith!”  Matthew records Peter asking.. “How many times do we forgive? Where’s the line?” he wanted a firm boundary! We are not naturally wired for forgiveness.  Forgiveness is and has always been counter-cultural. It’s the power of the Gospel itself!!

**God is more interested in our transformation and freedom in Him than in keeping us from ever feeling pain.

E. Paul is asking Philemon to do more than receive Onesimus — he’s asking him to see him with a new identity. Not a fugitive slave, but a brother. Pastor Scott spoke about this…  At the same time, he’s asking Philemon to leave behind his own identity as a victim of a crime and to be a brother.

F. When we accept Christ’s payment for sin done to us, we live in victory not in victimhood…this is an identity shift..when our identity shifts so does the way we think, feel and CHOOSE (identity will shape the way you see people, the way you choose to form relationships, the way you interact with the world around you.)… we don’t have to live locked in bitterness or guarded by fear. We can love freely, forgive openly, and walk in victory. Not because betrayal will never happen again, but because even if it does, Jesus identifies with our pain and has already carried the consequences of it.. We are victorious!

G. When we submit our will, find righteousness in Christand live a lifestyle of victorious forgiveness we are transformed. We benefit from transformation and so do those around us.  On. Went on to become a bishop of the church at Ephesus…Obedience is our responsibility…Outcomes are God’s responsibility.