Covenant & Covering: Session 8

“Knotted Souls: Godly Bonds and Ungodly Chains”

Scripture

Amos 3:3 KJV 1900

3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

What Are Soul Ties?

A soul tie is a binding of emotions, thoughts, or spirit with another person, either godly (healthy, covenant-based) or ungodly (formed through sin, manipulation, or unhealthy dependency).

Godly soul ties: covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24), covenant friendships (1 Samuel 18:1).

Ungodly soul ties: sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:16), manipulative control (Jezebel/Ahab, 1 Kings 21), or lingering attachments that hinder walking forward in Christ.

A lingering attachment in the context of soul ties refers to an ongoing emotional, mental, or spiritual connection that persists even after a relationship has ended—especially when that tie was never properly broken or healed.

Soul Ties and Remarriage

Many who remarry struggle with ghost ties from past relationships—emotional, sexual, or spiritual connections that interfere with building true unity in the present marriage.

Ghost ties are:

Invisible soul connections that still affect your present life

Subconscious emotional attachments to someone you haven’t let go of

Unresolved emotional or spiritual bonds that refuse to die

Dead relationships that still speak loudly into your decisions

Phantom voices and memories that haunt your mind, even though the person is gone

Examples:

You’re married now, but your heart still replays moments with an ex-lover.

You haven’t spoken to someone in years, but you’re still affected by what they did or said.

You see a name, hear a song, or pass a place, and your whole emotional world shifts.

You compare every new person to “them.”

You still crave their approval, even though they ghosted you or walked out of your life.

Scriptural Perspective

God’s design is always for oneness in the covenant you are in now.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, KJV)

Leave = H5800 azab = to forsake, abandon, let go.

Cleave = H1692 dabaq = to cling, stick, adhere.

Application: To truly cleave to your spouse, you must leave past ties behind—emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

The past cannot be carried into the new covenant.

Jesus warned: “No man also having drunk old wine straightway desireth new: for he saith, The old is better.” (Luke 5:39)

Application: Some try to bring old affections, habits, or ties into a new marriage covenant, but they spoil intimacy and unity.

Freedom is necessary for intimacy.

Paul speaks of putting off the old man and putting on the new (Ephesians 4:22–24).

Application: Breaking ungodly ties allows the new marriage to be built on holiness, not comparison, guilt, or divided affection.

Characteristics of Soul Ties

A. Godly Soul Ties

Built on covenant, love, and God’s purpose.

Example: Jonathan and David’s covenant loyalty (1 Samuel 20:42) “42 And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, The Lord be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city.”

Example: Marriage union blessed by God (Mark 10:9) “9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

B. Ungodly Soul Ties

These can form through sinful, unhealthy, or controlling relationships.

Characteristics:

Emotional bondage – Unable to stop thinking about someone, even years later.

Example: Lot’s wife tied to Sodom (Genesis 19:26).

Manipulation and control – A relationship where one dominates the other (Jezebel & Ahab, 1 Kings 21).

Sexual sin bonds – Fornication/adultery creates a tie.

“What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” (1 Corinthians 6:16)

Joined = G2853 kollao = to glue, fasten firmly, join closely.

Obsession or dependency – Can’t move forward in life without that person.

Transfer of spirits – Unholy ties can transmit fear, lust, anger, or oppression.

Characteristics of Soul Ties in Remarriage

Emotional comparisons – measuring your spouse against a past partner.

Unresolved forgiveness – bitterness toward an ex-spouse contaminates the new marriage.

Hidden shame or guilt – past sexual or emotional ties haunt intimacy.

Divided loyalty – children, family, or unresolved trauma tie your emotions back to the past more than your covenant spouse.

Divided loyalty is when:

You’re married, but still emotionally tied to a former partner or fantasy.

You’re in a relationship with God, but still loyal to habits, addictions, or old identities.

You say “yes” to God publicly, but your heart still bows to a hidden master.

You support your spouse, but give emotional intimacy to someone else (co-worker, friend, past connection).

You’re involved in ministry, but your heart belongs to pleasure, platform, or personal ambition.

Divided loyalty blurs boundaries, poisons covenant, and invites confusion.

Root Causes of Divided Loyalty

Unbroken soul ties— Emotional or sexual bonds from the past still influence present relationships.

Fear of loss or rejection— You keep doors open “just in case” God doesn’t come through.

Idolatry— Anything that takes the first place in your heart will compete with your loyalty to God.

Lack of spiritual maturity— Baby Christians often try to walk with Jesus while still holding hands with the world.

Past wounds and unresolved trauma— When healing hasn’t taken place, we stay loyal to what hurt us, simply because it’s familiar.

Signs You May Have Ungodly Soul Ties

Constantly reliving past relationships.

Feeling guilty or ashamed but unable to break free.

Loss of identity because of another person.

Ongoing cycles of toxic relationships.

Difficulty bonding with your spouse because of past ties.

How Soul Ties Are Formed

God’s design – marriage covenant, godly friendships, church fellowship.

Sinful ways – fornication, adultery, ungodly covenants, manipulative words.

Emotional dependence – giving your heart away without guarding it.

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

1. Words as Spiritual Connectors

Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

Words are not empty—they are seeds that produce fruit in the soul. Manipulative words plant seeds of control, fear, guilt, or dependency.

Proverbs 6:2 – “Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.”

Snared = H3369 yaqosh – trapped, ensnared like prey.

Manipulative words work like snares—they trap people into emotional or spiritual obligations they didn’t consent to in truth.

2. Examples of Manipulative Words That Form Soul Ties

Vows and Promises – Saying things like “I’ll never love anyone but you,” or “We’ll always be together no matter what.”

Even if spoken in sin, these words can bind hearts and create ungodly agreements.

Ecclesiastes 5:4–5 warns against rash vows.

Flattery and Seduction – Proverbs 7 describes the strange woman whose “much fair speech” and “flattering lips” cause a young man to yield (Proverbs 7:21–22).

The soul becomes tied through deception.

Curses and Threats – Words like “You’ll never make it without me” or “If you leave me, you’ll regret it.”

These release fear and intimidation, binding the person’s emotions.

False Identity Statements – “You’re worthless without me,” or “Nobody will ever love you but me.”

Over time, these words rewire self-perception and tie identity to the manipulator’s approval.

3. Why Manipulative Words Form Ties

Words are covenantal. A covenant in Scripture was cut with spoken oaths (Genesis 31:44–50).

Manipulation mimics covenant—it forges emotional chains without God’s blessing.

When believed or received, those words grip the soul like a contract written in the heart.

Manipulative words are chains spoken into the soul, but God’s Word is the sword that cuts them off. You overcome by rejecting the lie, renouncing the false agreement, and embracing the truth of who you are in Christ.

“Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.” (John 17:17)

How to Break Free from Ungodly Soul Ties

A. Acknowledge & Repent

Recognize lingering attachments.

Pray: “Lord, I confess every divided tie that has kept my heart from cleaving fully to my spouse. Forgive me and cleanse me.”

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us…” (1 John 1:9)

B. Renounce Past Ties

Verbally break ties from former marriages or relationships.

“Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.” (Psalm 119:104)

Prayer Example: “In the name of Jesus, I renounce every ungodly tie from my past relationships and marriages. I cut off every bond of comparison, guilt, shame, and divided loyalty. My heart is free to cleave fully to the spouse You have given me now.”

C. Forgive & Release

Forgive past partners, even if they wronged you.

“Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)

D. Renew Your Covenant

Pray with your spouse. Speak words of unity.

“So then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mark 10:8–9)

“Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 18:18)

Declare: “I cut every ungodly tie with [name] in the name of Jesus. I loose my soul, mind, and emotions from this bond.”

E. Fill the Void with God’s Presence

Past ties leave “holes” in the heart. Don’t just cut them off—fill those areas with prayer, Scripture, and godly intimacy in marriage.

“He that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.” (1 Corinthians 6:17)

F. Practical Steps for Couples

Pray together – Invite God into your intimacy.

Speak words of unity daily – Say: “We are one flesh in Christ Jesus.”

Guard against comparisons – Refuse to measure your spouse against your past.

Be patient in healing – Some ties take time to unravel, but God is faithful.

Counsel if needed – Seek pastoral or godly counsel to walk in freedom.

Closing Word

Your marriage covenant is holy, God-ordained, and meant to be free from the chains of the past. Christ redeems, restores, and makes all things new.

“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

“You cannot build a new covenant while living in the shadow of an old one. To truly cleave to your spouse today, you must cut every tie that binds you to yesterday. Freedom in Christ means your past no longer owns your heart, and your marriage can now flourish under His covering.” – Robert Young