Grace to Forgive

Matthew 6:14–15

Every one of us has been wronged.  

Sometimes it’s a small slight we shrug off, but other times it’s a wound that cuts so deeply we struggle to let it go.  

Jesus addressed this head-on when He said in Matthew 6:14–15 that forgiveness is not optional.  

Our forgiveness of others is linked to God’s forgiveness of us.  

Think about what happens when we refuse to forgive.  

It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.  

Bitterness hurts us far more than it hurts the one who wronged us.  

Someone once said, “Unforgiveness is like chaining yourself to the past while trying to walk into the future.”  

Years ago in a quiet farming town, two neighbors lived side by side.

They had been close friends for many years, helping each other with harvest, borrowing tools, and sharing meals together.

But over time, a disagreement over the property line boiled into a bitter feud.

What started as a small dispute turned into angry words, hurt feelings, and eventually silence.

They stopped speaking altogether, and the friendship that once brought joy now sat buried under resentment.

One of the farmers finally decided he had had enough.

Every day, as he looked across the stream that divided his land from his neighbor’s, the sight stirred up more anger inside of him.

So he called for a local carpenter, a man who had been friends with both farmers for years.

The farmer said, “I want you to build a fence along this stream. Make it tall and strong so I don’t have to look at his farm ever again.”

The carpenter listened carefully, nodded his head, and agreed to take the job.

But because he knew both men well, he also knew what they truly needed was not a taller wall but a path back to friendship.

He could hear the pain in the farmer’s voice, but he could also remember the laughter and friendship they had once shared.

So instead of a fence, he began building a bridge.

Plank by plank, nail by nail, he worked until a sturdy wooden bridge stretched across the stream.

When the farmer returned later that day, he was shocked.

Instead of a tall fence shutting out his neighbor, he saw a bridge connecting them.

At first he was angry.

But just then, he saw his neighbor walking across the bridge with tears in his eyes.

The neighbor said, “I never thought you’d reach out to me after all that’s happened. Thank you for building this bridge.”

The first farmer was humbled.

Slowly he walked out to the middle of the bridge, and there the two men met, shook hands, and forgave one another.

That carpenter had not just built a structure of wood and nails; he had built a way back to peace.

He chose to build what they truly needed, not what bitterness demanded.

And that’s exactly what forgiveness does.

Bitterness builds fences, but grace builds bridges.

Forgiveness takes the lumber of hurt and anger and turns it into a bridge of healing and reconciliation.

What that carpenter did with wood and nails, Jesus has done for us in the greatest way possible.

At the cross, God built a bridge between sinful man and a holy God.

Where our sin had created a chasm, His grace laid down the beams of the cross so that we could be reconciled to Him.

And just as God built a bridge to us, He now calls us to extend that same grace by building bridges of forgiveness toward others.

This morning we’re looking at how God’s grace gives us the ability to forgive.  

Forgiveness is not natural—it’s supernatural.  

We forgive not because people deserve it, but because we’ve been forgiven by God.  

Let’s see three ways grace helps us forgive.  

I. Grace Frees Us from Bitterness

When we hold onto unforgiveness, it doesn’t trap the other person — it traps us.

Bitterness is like a chain that ties us to the past, dragging us down and robbing us of joy in the present.

But God’s grace has the power to break those chains.

Forgiveness is not saying what happened doesn’t matter.

It is saying I will no longer let this offense control my heart.

Grace frees us from the prison of bitterness so that we can live in peace.

A. Forgiveness Releases the Offense

Hebrews 12:15 warns about a root of bitterness that grows up and defiles many.

Hebrews 12:15 KJV

15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Unforgiveness always starts small, but it spreads like poison if we allow it to take root.

Like I said earlier, Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

It doesn’t hurt them nearly as much as it hurts you.

Forgiveness is not excusing the wrong, but it is choosing to release it to God instead of nursing it in your own heart.

Joseph, who was betrayed and sold by his brothers, could have lived bitter, but he chose to say, “You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good.”

Grace gives us the ability to release the offense so bitterness no longer has a hold on us.

Once we release the offense, we begin to see more clearly what God has done for us.

Three Commitments of Forgiveness

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”

“I will not talk to others about this incident.”

If you will make those commitments, you will find yourself forgiving and moving on.

But why is that so important?

B. Forgiveness Reflects God’s Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 tells us,

Ephesians 4:32 KJV

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

The standard of forgiveness is not how badly we’ve been hurt, but how graciously we have been forgiven.

Jesus illustrated this truth in the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18.

He said there was a servant who owed the king ten thousand talents — an amount so massive it would be impossible to ever repay.

When the king called the debt due, the servant fell on his face and begged for mercy.

In an act of sheer grace, the king forgave the entire debt and set him free.

But that same servant went out and found a fellow servant who owed him just a hundred pence — only a few months’ wages by comparison.

He grabbed him by the throat and demanded payment.

When the man begged for mercy, he refused, and had him thrown into prison.

When the king heard what happened, he was furious.

He said, “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?” and delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all that was due.

Jesus ended the parable with this warning:

Matthew 18:35 KJV

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

The message is clear — the forgiven must be forgiving.

The debt God has released us from is infinitely greater than any offense someone could commit against us.

The lesson is clear: no one has ever wronged you more than you have wronged God.

C.S. Lewis wrote, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

When we realize how much grace we have received, it becomes much harder to withhold that grace from someone else.

But if we hold onto unforgiveness, it doesn’t just affect our relationships with people — it affects our relationship with God.

C. Forgiveness Restores Our Fellowship with God

Jesus said in Mark 11:25,

Mark 11:25 KJV

25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Unforgiveness hinders prayer.

It clogs the channel of fellowship between us and God.

David understood this idea, he prayed in Psalm 66:18

Psalm 66:18 KJV

18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear me:

When we refuse to forgive, we are holding on to sin ourselves.

But when we forgive, fellowship with our Father is restored, and the flow of grace is fresh again.

It is no wonder Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

Forgiveness is not optional if we want unhindered fellowship with God.

Grace frees us from the chains of bitterness, enables us to reflect the forgiveness we have received, and keeps the line of fellowship open with our Father.

Bitterness builds fences, but grace builds bridges.

II. Grace Restores What Was Broken

Bitterness always tears down, but forgiveness always builds up.

When we choose to forgive, God uses that grace to heal what sin has damaged.

It may not erase the memory or undo the hurt, but it opens the door for restoration, peace, and joy to flow again.

A. Forgiveness Brings Joy

David in his famous prayer where he was seeking God’s forgiveness prayed in Psalm 51:12,

Psalm 51:12 KJV

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with thy free spirit.

Unforgiveness steals joy, but forgiveness restores it.

Lewis B. Smedes once said Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Forgiveness may not change the other person, but it will change you.

It is a decision that says, “I don’t want to live in this prison any more.”

That joy then spills over into our relationships, allowing unity where division once reigned.

B. Forgiveness Builds Unity

Paul urged the church at Corinth to forgive and reaffirm their love for a repentant brother.

When the church held onto the offense, it threatened to tear them apart, but grace brought them back together.

Unforgiveness fractures homes, friendships, and churches, but forgiveness binds them back in love.

Unity is not built on perfection but on grace.

And as we forgive, we are never more like Christ, because forgiveness is the heart of His mission.

C. Forgiveness Mirrors Christ

Colossians 3:13 challenges us by saying…

Colossians 3:13 KJV

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

At the cross, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them,” even as His enemies mocked Him.

Corrie ten Boom, who survived the concentration camps of Nazi Germany, once met one of the guards after the war.

He asked her for forgiveness, and though every fiber of her being wanted to refuse, she prayed for God’s grace — and was able to reach out her hand and forgive.

She later said, “When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”

When we forgive, we put the cross of Christ on display.

Forgiveness may not rebuild a relationship overnight, but it lays the foundation for healing.

Grace restores what bitterness has broken.  

We’ve seen how grace enables us to release others and how it restores what was broken.

But there’s still one more truth we need to see: grace not only works in the moment of forgiveness — it empowers us to live free every day.

If we stop at merely forgiving once, bitterness can creep back in.

But when we lean on God’s grace, He gives us strength to walk in continual freedom.

Forgiveness isn’t just about the past; it’s about the future.

It’s not only about one decision, but about a lifestyle that reflects Christ’s ongoing work in us.

Grace is not just a gift for salvation; it’s God’s daily provision for victorious living.

And when we embrace that grace, we find freedom from the weight of resentment and the power to love like Jesus.

III. Grace Empowers Us to Live Free  

If grace empowers us to live free, then we need to ask—what does that actually look like in real life?

The first way we experience this freedom is inward.

God’s grace removes the heavy weight of bitterness that tries to chain us to the past.

Let’s look at how His grace releases us from that burden.

Look at these three principles about forgiveness…

A. Forgiveness Heals the Heart  

Studies confirm that forgiveness improves emotional and even physical health.  

But more importantly, God designed forgiveness to heal our hearts spiritually.  

Philippians 4:7 promises peace that passes understanding when we give burdens to God.  

Philippians 4:7 KJV

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook—it is setting yourself free from the hook of bitterness.  

The second principle I want you to see is that…

B. Forgiveness Isn’t Conditional  

We don’t forgive only when the offender apologizes.  

Jesus forgave those who crucified Him even as they mocked Him (Luke 23:34).  

Luke 23:34 KJV

34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Forgiveness is not earned by the offender—it flows from the grace of God in us.  

There was a husband and wife who loved each other deeply, but like many couples, they sometimes spoke without thinking.

One evening, in the heat of a frustrating day, the husband made a careless, cutting remark.

It wasn’t planned, but it pierced his wife’s heart.

She didn’t say much at the time, but those words began to echo in her mind.

Day after day, she replayed them.

Slowly, bitterness started to creep in.

What once was warm conversation turned cold.

Little acts of kindness gave way to silence.

Instead of leaning toward one another, they began to drift apart.

The husband realized something had changed, but he didn’t know how to make it right.

He tried to move on as if nothing had happened, but the unspoken hurt kept building a wall between them.

Finally, one night as she prayed, the wife realized she had a choice.

She could continue to clutch the hurt and let it poison their marriage, or she could forgive, just as Christ had forgiven her.

It wasn’t easy — it never is — but she chose forgiveness.

She chose to release her husband from the debt of his words.

The next day, her spirit was different.

Her words softened.

Her heart opened again.

And soon, their love began to rekindle.

Conversations that had been cold warmed up.

Affection that had been hidden began to return.

Peace settled back into their home.

Forgiveness unlocked the love that had been locked away.

That is what grace does — it doesn’t just restore relationships, it releases the power of love to flow again.

But whose responsibility is it to forgive…to move forward?

YOURS!

Every child of God is commanded to forgive.

The third principle of forgiveness I want you to see this morning is…

C. Forgiveness Is a Lifestyle  

Matthew 18:21–22 KJV

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Jesus shocked Peter, no doubt with this answer.

Forgiveness is not a number; it is a way of life for those who have received grace.  

Forgiveness is not a one-time event but a continual posture of grace.  

Conclusion

Forgiveness is never easy.

Some of you carry wounds from words or actions that cut deep.

The thought of forgiving feels almost impossible.

But that is why God gives us grace.

He never asked you to do it in your own strength.

He has already built the bridge for you through the cross of Jesus Christ.

Do you remember the story of the two farmers?

Their friendship was broken, and one wanted to build a fence.

But the carpenter built a bridge instead.

That bridge became the pathway to healing.

Forgiveness builds bridges where bitterness builds barriers.

And the greatest bridge ever built was on Calvary’s hill, where Jesus took the wood of the cross and stretched it across the great divide of our sin.

We even saw a glimpse of that same grace play out just days ago in the public eye.

Forrest Frank, a Christian musician, went through a terrible accident and shared his recovery online.

In the middle of his pain, others—including Cory Asbury and Matthew West—made parody videos that unintentionally cut deep.

Forrest could have responded with bitterness.

But instead, he extended grace, even inviting collaboration on something meaningful.

And what happened?

They humbled themselves, admitted their fault, and asked for forgiveness.

And instead of division, there was healing.

What could have become a feud turned into a living example of humility, grace, and forgiveness.

Now, I don’t necessarily agree with all of these men theologically or in music style, but in this example especially their Christlike responses showed the power of grace to restore what bitterness would have destroyed.

That is what God calls us to.

So the choice is before you.

You can keep building fences—walling yourself off in bitterness and pain.

Or you can walk across the bridge that grace has built, and choose forgiveness.

Maybe today, there’s someone you need to forgive.

Maybe it’s been days, or maybe it’s been decades.

But if you’ll take the first step of faith, God will give you the grace you need.

He will set you free from the prison of resentment and flood your heart with the love of Christ.

This message isn’t just about two farmers long ago or a situation between Christian musicians last week.

It’s about you and me, right here, right now.

God’s Word is clear: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

Forgiveness is not optional for the believer—it’s the natural overflow of grace received.

So let me ask you: is there someone you’ve been holding in the prison of unforgiveness?

Someone whose words or actions you’ve replayed again and again in your mind?

What if today you chose to set them free—and in doing so, you set yourself free as well?

Maybe it’s a family member.

Maybe it’s a friend.

Maybe it’s someone who may never even ask for your forgiveness.

But you can still choose to forgive because Christ forgave you.

The invitation today is simple: will you walk across the bridge that Jesus has already built?

Will you let His grace do in you what you cannot do yourself?

Don’t leave here carrying the weight of bitterness.

Come to the cross, release it, and let the love of Christ flood your heart.

Some of you may need to kneel here at this altar and name that person before the Lord, asking Him for grace to forgive.

Some may need to pick up the phone after church and make things right.

And some of you may realize today that you’ve never received God’s forgiveness in salvation—you’ve never stepped onto that bridge yourself.

Today, you can come to Christ, repent of your sin, and receive the free gift of grace.

This is the moment.

Don’t build another fence.

Walk across the bridge.

Let grace have the last word.

Come to the cross of Christ this morning and ask forgiveness, then ask for His help to forgive those who have heart you.