Godly Design of Marriage
I Believe: Finding My Purpose in Life • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 1:00:00
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Let’s review a few of our doctrinal statements that we have been looking at
TRINITY:
TRINITY:
We believe in the personal triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, equal in divine perfection.
Matthew 28:19
DEITY OF JESUS:
DEITY OF JESUS:
We believe in the deity of Jesus Christ.
John 10:30; John 1:1, 14; 2 Corinthians 5:19
HOLY SPIRIT:
HOLY SPIRIT:
We believe the Holy Spirit is the divine Administrator for Jesus Christ in His churches.
Luke 24:49; John 14:16-17; Acts 1:4-5, 8; Acts 2:1-4
MAN:
MAN:
We believe that Man was created in the image of God and lived in innocency until he fell by voluntary transgression from his sinless state, the result being that all mankind are sinners.
Genesis 1:26; Genesis 3:6-24; Romans 5:12,19
2 more that we touched on last week
GENDER IDENTITY
GENDER IDENTITY
We believe God designates each individual their gender. God ordained two genders, male and female. Mankind does not possess the authority to identify themselves differently than their biological sex assigned by God, and any attempt to alter one's gender is sin.
Genesis 1:27; 5:2; Matthew 19:4 and Mark 10:6; Job 40:8; Jeremiah 13:23
MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE
We believe the Biblical definition of marriage is the union between a man and a woman.
Genesis 2:21-24; Matthew 19:4-6; Mark 10:6-9; 1 Corinthians 7:2-4; Ephesians 5:22-31
Now that we believe marriage is the union between a man and a woman lets go to scripture and see how God designed marriage and for what purpose.
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
"It is quite wrong to imagine that somewhere in a cave around the flickering light of a fire, a group of previously promiscuous people decided that marriage might be a good idea" (Jay Adams).
The home was established by God!
The best "Home-builder" is God! See: Psalm 127
A Song of degrees for Solomon.
1 Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows: For so he giveth his beloved sleep.
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth.
5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
We have so-called "experts" today who think they have all the answers to the needs of families and marriages.
However, the only true, trustworthy answers can come from the Designer Himself.
ILLUS: The one who knows a machine, product, etc., best is the designer.
God Designed of Marriage is to Supply Needs.
God Designed of Marriage is to Supply Needs.
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
This is the only time in creation account that God said that something was not good (v. 10, 12 Earth = good; v. 18 Sun & moon = good; v. 21 sea life = good; and v. 25 animals = good)
Man needed a Companion.
Man needed a Companion.
"Alone"= to be solitary, to live separate from others, to be isolated, to be all by yourself.
God created man in God's own image and likeness - READ 1:26-27.
26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
God gave man a social nature that craved companionship.
Most everyone naturally craves meaningful relationships.
--EX of children who are sad when a friend says, "I like ________ more than you."
--Some go to the bar to find it.
--Others look in classified ads to find it.
A companion was needed for FELLOWSHIP (In order to have true fellowship, communication becomes very important)
Next to fellowship with the Lord, your fellowship with your mate should be the closest, most intimate, enjoyable, and rewarding relationship in your life.
ILLUS: the natural desire for dating couples is to be together. They sacrifice greatly to be together. Why does this seem to change after marriage?
-- Discontentment, disturbances (little problems that could be worked out when dating now go undealt with)
Man needed a Completer.
Man needed a Completer.
This naming of the animals took place on the sixth day of creation.
1) creation of man, 2) naming of animals, and 3) the making of woman all happened on the sixth day (cp. 1:27)
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
God creates the animals and brings the animals before Adam, God gives Adam the opportunity to express his deep and direct mental insight into the nature of animals.
Why would God do this?
I believe
1) Adam would see their DISTINCTIVENESS from himself.
2) Adam would see their IMPERSONAL nature.
The animals were different from Adam but don’t complete Adam.
The animals were not personal to Adam.
God made it evident to Adam that Adam needed someone to complete him, Adam needed a woman.
She was to provide him assistance; be the "missing links" of his life so as to enable him ("complete him") to fulfill God's plan for his life.
"Help" = strength to aid, assist
"Meet" = suitable for, corresponding to similar but opposite
(God made you to support man's other side - this phrase points to "a complement, or "completer")
"Completer"- man by himself is like a positive cable without a negative cable, cookies without sugar, like a car without a motor, like pie without fruit, etc.
. . . He's only "half-baked"!!
Men and women are different emotionally (she cries more easily), psychologically (their interests differ), physically ("weaker vessel" - I Pet. 3).
The woman is what is missing in the man, and the man is what is missing in the woman.
Remember this chart from last week.
Man (Doer) Woman (Be-er)
Achiever Completer
Men tend to be independent, a “sending” gift. Men look outward. Men initiate.
Work Oriented Home Oriented
Interdependent More Dependent (needs frequent reassurance)
Provides for children Produces children
More Rational More Emotional
It amazes me how opposites tend to attract. A tall guy will marry a short girl. An intelligent girl will marry a not-so-intelligent man. A quiet person marries an out-going person. Etc.
A good wife will fill in your weak spots, will strengthen your areas of need.
A good husband will not be too proud to refuse to let her.
How does the wife help complete the man?
1) By being SPIRITUAL (I Pet. 3:1-7) You will not be right with him until right with God
2) By being DEPENDABLE and TRUSTWORTHY("the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her" - Prov. 31:11)
3) By being a HOMEMAKER (making your house a home - Prov. 31)
4) By being part of the TEAM (work, plan, etc. together)
5) By being INTERESTED in his life (if he can't share his problems with you, who can he share with?)
6) By being OPEN (discuss feelings, problems)
7) By showing CONFIDENCE in him (admire him; "reverence" him - Eph. 5:33)
8) By being GRATEFUL for him (don't wait until after he is dead!)
NOTE: Your husband will never deserve all of the above. But you don't deserve to be saved either!
You must obey Christ and be a helpmeet for CHRIST'S sake.
If the wife doesn’t complete the husband, he will live and die without becoming all that God had intended him to be.
God Designed of Marriage is to Supply Oneness.
God Designed of Marriage is to Supply Oneness.
Woman's origin shows oneness
Woman's origin shows oneness
(Oneness is illustrated by creation)
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
"Deep sleep" = a divine anesthetic that made Adam oblivious to the surgery God was performing.
"He made" = to build, or fashion
The way God created woman reveals His design for a close union.
Augustine said: "God did not take a bone from Adam's headfrom which to create Eve that she might be above him, nor a bone from his foot that she might be beneath him, but from his side that she might be beside him . . . close to his heart and yet under his arm for protection."
"GOD brought her unto the man" -
"GOD brought her unto the man" -
Every marriage must start with God.
Every believer should get his wife from God.
Let God bring the one He wants to you! (Seek his will)
(NOTE: they were both spiritual and godly. Unequal yokes are never God's will)
Generally a couple will believe that "God" brought them together, until trouble sets in. They say: "The devil did it."
"God BROUGHT her unto the man" -
"God BROUGHT her unto the man" -
She was a gift to the man. Do you view your wife as a gift to be enjoyed or a thorn to be endured?
Adam’s testimony shows Oneness
Adam’s testimony shows Oneness
(Oneness is identified by Adam)
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Without revelation from God, Adam realizes that the woman was made from himself. His words express joy and astonishment at the corresponding nature and close relationship of Eve to himself.
LIT: "This is now bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh."
Adam = "Adam"- man as he relates to the earth (Adamah) from which he was taken.
Ish = "man" as he relates to his strength and vitality; his pre-eminence over creation.
Ishah = "woman" - lit. a female man
Adam is saying: "She shall be called ishah, because she was taken out of ish."
Today women do not want this distinction. . . . All I have to say about this is: "Ish!"
Unity does not mean uniformity!
EX: a team has unity yet distinct positions
an army
a work place
Just as the church is one body made up of varying parts (I Cor. 12), so the husband and wife are to have distinct roles, yet produce a single, harmonious unity.
NOTE: There is a oneness (equality in nature) but a distinction in function implied in these verses.
One is the HEAD of the home, the other is the HELPER.
Such headship is seen by the fact that:
1) Adam was created FIRST (I Tim. 2:11-13)
2) God named the RACE after the man (Genesis 1:27)
3) God gave Adam responsibility to "dress and keep" the garden prior to Eve's creation (Genesis 2:15-17)
4) God made EVE from Adam (I Cor. 11:8 - "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man")
5) God provided Adam with a helper (a subordinate function) (I Cor. 11:9 - "Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.")
**The woman was made for MAN!
a) not for CHILDREN
b) not for your own JOB and career
6) God held the man responsible for the sin in the home (Gen. 3:9)
God's plan shows Oneness
God's plan shows Oneness
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
This verse shows that celibacy is not a higher or holier state than marriage.
Leave: Priority!
Leave: Priority!
Make a BREAK with your parents
Make a BREAK with your parents
("Leave" = shows that marriage is a PRIORITY relationship)
(In-law Problems will be discussed later in this course)
Cleave: Permanence!
Cleave: Permanence!
Make a BOND with your spouse:
Make a BOND with your spouse:
("Cleave" = shows that marriage is a PERMANENT relationship)
"cleave" = TO STICK OR GLUE TOGETHER; TO BE CLOSELY JOINED TOGETHER.
Jer. 13:11- God uses this term to express the close union ("cleaving") into which He had brought his people (Israel and Judah) to Himself in love and favor (Wilsons, p. 79).
11 For as the girdle cleaveth to the loins of a man, so have I caused to cleave unto me the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah, saith the Lord; that they might be unto me for a people, and for a name, and for a praise, and for a glory: but they would not hear.
This term "cleave"is used of a dry tongue sticking to the roof of one's mouth
(Ps. 137:6).
6 If I do not remember thee, Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; If I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy.
Since the fall of man, this oneness can only be yours if you are right with God.
No one who gets married is compatible!
Not even Christians! They are just saved sinners! As they grow closer to the Lord, they grow closer to each other.
God Designed Marriage in His Image and Likeness:
God Designed Marriage in His Image and Likeness:
26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Image = statue or carved image, but basically means, the visual appearance of something or someone.
Likeness = model or shape, basically referring to character, or nature between persons or things.
We are like God in image, Body, Spirit and Soul.
But them, male and female united together, we become like his nature and character and a presentation of the gospel of the Godhead.
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
In 1 Timothy, chapter 1 verses 15-16, Paul makes it clear that our purpose is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sinners need Salvation. He goes to chapter 2 with men leading in the salvation through prayer and actions and then says women are to follow His example and then in verse 15, shows her importance in the presentation of the gospel, not in words, but in her faith, love, holiness, and seriousness of her role.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
In Jesus Christ, we have a have someone that Meets our needs and fulfills our purpose in life.
In Jesus Christ, we have a Companion.
13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
Command is not bossing them around, but is a word used of giving instructions to or directing somebody to do something with authority.
In Jesus Christ we have a Completer.
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
The nature of the Godhead is Unity through Love.
God the Father is the Authority of the Godhead.
The Son is Submissive to the Father.
The Holy Spirit is Submissive to the Father and the Son.
26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:
Not only is the gospel seen in the first institution that God created, Marriage, but also, the last institution that God established, The Church.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Paul says the the wife is to submit to the Husband. The Husband is to lead the wife through love.
Therefore, when I get back in 2 weeks, we are going to really break down marriage, but in doing so, we will also break down our relationship within the church. As married church members, we have double the opportunities of gospel presentation, One within family and the other within society.
Lastly, marriage and the church must demonstrate the perfect love and submission of the Godhead.
We present the sacrificial love of Christ and the submissive attitude to Christ.
When people look at a Godly marriage or a Godly church, they should be able to physically see the glory and greatness of God that is experienced in our soul and spirit.
However, when marriage and the church are distorted and in disarray, the glory of God is greatly dimmed and draws people to the darkness because of our evil sinful nature. But when done right, through the power of God, the example of Christ, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the glory of God is at its brightest, and John 12:32 states.
32 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
With the Godhead in mind, let me close out this service by reading the actual Lord’s prayer in the garden of Gethsemane the night Jesus was betrayed. Read this with the mind of Christ as we are to be conformed into His image, by the renewing of our mind.
1 These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee:
2 As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him.
3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.
4 I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.
5 And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.
6 I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word.
All of this is amazing and I challenge you over the next 2 weeks to make this your daily reading but jump down to John 17:15
15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
18 As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
19 And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
20 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.
25 O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.
26 And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.
2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
Are you declaring the Name of Jesus?
Will you continue to declare the Name of Jesus?
Does the world see the love of God through you?
