Loved To Life: Jubilee in Relationships

Jn 19:16–27

16 So he delivered him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus, 17 and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called The Place of a Skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha. 18 There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them. 19 Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It read, “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.” 20 Many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and it was written in Aramaic, in Latin, and in Greek. 21 So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, “Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but rather, ‘This man said, I am King of the Jews.’ ” 22 Pilate answered, “What I have written I have written.”

23 When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom, 24 so they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.” This was to fulfill the Scripture which says,

“They divided my garments among them,

and for my clothing they cast lots.”

So the soldiers did these things, 25 but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

Individual desire rather than covenant community has become the standard for everything in our world.

This accounts for much of the reason

…that marriage rates in the United States have fallen by over 40% since 1950 with nearly 80% of households headed by married couples in 1950 down to just 47% today.

…that the share of U.S. adults who say they are unlikely to ever have kids rose 10 percentage points (from 37% to 47%) since 2018

These kinds of life-long, unconditional commitments to mutual care do not make sense

in a world where individual desire is the standard for everything

and everything we desire is on offer from many different providers who demand much less in return than a child or a spouse.

The standardization of individual desire over covenant community runs counter to God’s design for humanity revealed in the scriptures.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the writings of John.

John is often called the apostle of love. And so he should be. But, I would argue that John is the apostle of love because John is the apostle of relationship.

John’s gospel, more than any other, situates Jesus in a world of relationships.

John includes many intimate, personal encounters that the other Gospels omit.

Nicodemus

the Samaritan woman

Thomas

Peter's restoration

John alone records the farewell discourse in chapters 13-16 and the high-priestly prayer of chapter 17.

John sees in the Gospel that Christ has come to restore humanity’s relationship with God and one another.

To accept the Biblical form of relational interdependence in our world today feels extremely dangerous.

We would rather be independent and self-sufficient than to be caught up in these circles of mutuality that we call relationships

We are not just supposed to be WITH each other, we are supposed to FOR one another

We are not just designed to be in relationship. We are designed to be in LOVING relationship.

But, sin has disrupted the for-ness. SIN MAKES LOVELESSNESS THE CONTEXT FOR HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS.

In the garden, God says, “In the day that you eat, you will surely die.”

You will lose your capacity for perfect for-ness.

John observes 1 John 3:14 “whoever does not love abides in death”

As soon as sin enters, we Adam throws Eve under the bus.

There are two primary disruptions of for-ness or love in our relationship.

Assault & Abandonment

We assault others when we act against what is good for them

We abandon someone when we become indifferent toward their well-being. “I DON’T CARE”

Assault and Abandonment play out from the most intimate, personal relationships occupy our days out to the systemic relationships that shape our culture.

We see massive expressions like murder and child neglect.

And micro expressions like ghosting your cousin and gossiping about your brother or sister in Christ.

In our quest for a self-sufficient existence, we go on from birth to the grave assaulting and being assaulting, withdrawing and being abandoned.

AND AS A RESULT WE LIVE IN A WORLD FULL OF WOUNDED PEOPLE WOUNDING PEOPLE.

Perhaps the only thing more tragic than that is the church too is full of wounded people wounding people.

Thanks be to God that there is a solution for the madness.

Thanks be to God for the Gospel of peace that can disrupt assault and withdrawal that would flow from us in our falleness and disarm them when they come toward us.

It can bind up our broken hearts…and heal our wounds…and restore our relationships.

The passage we read in John paints a beautiful picture of this gospel. From the passage I want to preach a sermon called Jubilee for Relationships

PRAYER

A World of Broken Relationships

We say to comfort a child, “everything is ok”.

We want them to sense that they are in a circle of sufficiency and safety.

Even the child can sense that if ANYTHING is not ok, the my ok-ness is threatened.

MLK: Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Lovelessness anywhere is a threat to love everywhere.

My ability to provider for and protect my children is impacted by decisions being made in the Whitehouse in DC, in a boardroom in Hong Kong, and in the mind of would-be criminal when he wakes up in the morning.

John shows us this world full of twisted relationships

Pilate boxed in by comfort and cowardice

The Priest and Pilate as Co-conspirators rather than friends

The soldiers with the raw deal…hardened and emotionally absent

The criminals on either side of Jesus

A Reckoning with Woundedness

A community under assault

Their leader has been arrested

A traitor has been found in their ranks

The whole mood of the nation has been turned against them

A family that must feel abandoned

Jesus is willfully dying for the world, but He is also willfully leaving his family.

It must be especially acute for Mary

This is her son…and He has been pushing her away since He was 12 years old (He lived His whole life for this hour)

Jesus has brothers, but they are not there (not yet believers)

YOU MIGHT SAY SURELY JESUS IS NOT ABANDONING HIS LOVED ONES, but understand that the simple feeling of abandonment can have the force of reality.

JESUS SPEAKS INTO THE WOUNDEDNESS

The message of the farewell address is reiterated to His mother: “I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU COMFORTLESS”

And Jesus is not overlooking your wounds…He wants to reckon with your woundedness

A Model of Wholeness

From the Synoptic parallels we gather that 4 Women are at the cross:

#1: Mary Magdalene,

#2: Mary the mother of James and Joseph,

#3: Salome the wife of Zebedee who is also mother of the apostles James and John,

#4: Mary the mother of Jesus

Tradition has held that Salome was Mary’s sister (Jesus' aunt) and the mother of John and James (the sons of Zebedee).

So John’s biological mother is standing right there when Jesus says “behold your mother”

That changes the dynamic.

This was a soap opera waiting to happen.

Imagine the potential family drama:

biological mother vs. spiritual mother,

competing loyalties,

awkward holidays.

Instead we see model for wholeness that is rooted in two simple principles.

#1: RELEASE disarms and disrupts abandonment

Jesus is creating distance from Mary by calling her ”WOMAN” vs “MOTHER”

But by pulling in John, He is showing His concern for her.

You can release me without feeling abandoned (disarm)

Salome hears what Jesus says to Mary (her sister) and John (her son)

She doesn’t run off in a huff

She releases John without abandoning him (disrupt)

Every shift is a not a betrayal. Every move is a withdrawal. If we learn the art of letting go,

we can disrupt our tendency to abandon folks who really just need a little more room

and disarm the feeling abandonment when things and people in our lives have to shift.

#2: EMBRACE disarms and disrupts assault

The family is together at the cross

Matthew 26:31 (and Mark 14:27) - Jesus quotes Zechariah 13:7 on the night of his arrest:

"Then Jesus said to them, 'You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, "I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered."'"

But this crew has regrouped. They can’t fight the Romans, but they can stand together at the execution.

When we come under assault, our flesh wants to turn away from the people we love.

Even if there are not words we can say.

Even if there is nothing we can figure out to do.

We need to learn to stand together in times of adversity.

Embrace disarms assault when it is coming your way

Our Bibles say that John took Mary into his “Home”

The word for “home” or even “household” is not in the Greek manuscript

Literally “he took her among his own” or “what was his”)...

This was not displacing Salome…it was an expansion of the household

You won’t feel like you have to fight for your spot once you recognize that God is expanding the house.

All this is taking place at the foot of the cross

This is not just a Jesus (Son, Nephew, Cousin)...this is Jesus (Lord, Messiah, King)

They are not just figuring out their relationships, they are responding in faithful obedience to their Lord.

They are not doing this in their own power. The words that Jesus speaks to them are spirit and they are life.

Beloved, the way we will have a Jubilee in our relationships is to be caught up in and connected to the only truly self-sufficient circle there is…THE COMMUNITY OF FATHER, SON, AND HOLY SPIRIT.

I can release you because I know He will never leave me.

I don’t have to fight you for position or belongings because the God of heaven is taking care of me.

Relationships are hard.

But when we are in right relationship God through Jesus, we gain the capacity to disrupt lovelessness that wants to flow out of us and disarm them when they come toward us.

We can release and not abandon

We can embrace without assault

The gospel is the power to restore our circles of sufficiency.

The gospel is the power to reclaim our capacity for with-ness and one-ness and for-ness

We do not have to live in cycles of lovelessness and death.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, Let’s love one another to life!

Sometimes relationships need a reset.

And Jesus provided for that on the cross as well.

I mentioned Jesus’ brothers…they missed this moment.

But, James becomes the head of the Jerusalem church

Peter denied Jesus 3 times on the night He was crucified. But, Peter become the functional head of the global church movement.

The one word that can reset relationship: FORGIVENESS

Jesus paid it.

Do not belittle this sacrifice.

It is not just for what you did that Christ died, it is for what was done to you.

RELEASE THE OFFENSE…EMBRACE YOUR SAVIOR

Sing down some grace (I NEED YOU TO SURVIVE)

Let God begin to work in your heart

THE APPEAL

John’s Gospel chapter 1 verse 12: But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the power to become children of God

If you never placed your faith in Jesus, this is the way to get connected to the source of Love, the self-sufficient reality of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Maybe you trust before, but you walked away and you need a reset in your relationship with Jesus.

Maybe you need a place to stand together in times of adversity.