Manhood in the Home

Bible Passage: Psalm 73

INTRO

“Soma Church exists to love the body of Christ and equip them to do the work of ministry here, near and far, all for the glory of God.”

As we jump into our next week of our series on family called Sacred Ground focusing upon manhood in the home, I wanna tell you about this guy I know named Asaph.

He is a normal God loving man, with a nice family. He is a musician and a song writer by trade and a really good one. He serves at his church on the worship team and hosts a small group. He is the kind of servant leader a pastoral team would kill to have. He works extremely hard to be present for his wife and his children and to provide for their every need. He has a nice and neat home but not one that you would drive by and watch as you pass it. Just a quaint, clean, unassuming house.

You would look at this guys life and think he has everything he could ever want or imagine. He’s got the house, the kids, the stable income, the wife.

Not too much, but certainly not lacking.

Just over a decade into building his family and his career, he began to deal with this crippling feeling that somehow what he had wasn’t enough.

He would drive home from work everyday and notice the new developments popping up everywhere around wishing his house looked like those. His kids were entering into their teenage years and they were struggling through how to lead them into adulthood. His marriage was good, but certainly not great and neither him or his wife looked like they did when they got married. His career path was stable, but the grind of coming up with new music that people cared about was beginning to get to him.

On top of all of this, his relationship with God was stale.

he reached for his Bible 1-2 times per month maybe. He really had no brothers that he was doing life with anymore and serving at his church was feeling like a chore more than a delight.

This led to the quiet moments of his life to be filled with daydreaming…

“If only my wife looked like David’s. Should we have only had 2 kids instead of 4? Should I find an excuse to stay out late to avoid the nagging and the bickering at home? How much debt could our family handle to get into our dream house and cars?”

He went home one day to look across the street and see his neighbor, that he had been sharing Jesus with for 5 years now putting a for sale sign in his yard.

He asks about the sign and his neighbor tells him about his new big 7 figure promotion and the million dollar home they had just put a contract on.

He congratulated him, expressed that they will be missed and went to into his house.

Anger flooded his heart. His neighbor was a violent drunk with multiple DUI’s and on top of that, frequently blowing off any conversations about God or invites to church.

Asaph kissed the wife and kids, went to his room and silently prayed to God repeatedly asking the question, “Why God?”

“Why is it, that I do everything right, I provide, I am present, I work hard, I am kind, I serve, I am a faithful husband and my degenerate neighbor across the street is the one who get’s the car, the promotion and the house.”

Like I said at the beginning, today we are gonna be looking at godly male presence in the home.

I wonder how many men in the room can relate with my friend Asaph? Similar thoughts of discontment. Similar thankless grind. Similar longings. Similar prayers.

Can I tell you that if you are or have ever felt this way you are not alone. I have been there and so have most if not all of the men in this room at one point or another.

I have never actually met my friend I described to you in person, because he is dead. The reason I know he struggled in this way, is because I have actually read about it in the Bible.

Specifically in Psalm 73, A Psalm of Asaph.

BODY

Asaph is a real guy, and he actually was a musician. Psalm 73 is a song written by Asaph.

And while the details I shared with you about his life were erroneous, the sentiment was not.

Psalm 73:1–3 “Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.”

Asaph was a musician in the house of God, who had real life struggles like you and me.

He longed to have a piece of the pie. He envied those people who did nothing the right way yet got all the benefits.

Exposit Psalm 73:4–15 “For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind. Therefore pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment. Their eyes swell out through fatness; their hearts overflow with follies. They scoff and speak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression. They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue struts through the earth. Therefore his people turn back to them, and find no fault in them. And they say, “How can God know? Is there knowledge in the Most High?” Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches. All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. For all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning. If I had said, “I will speak thus,” I would have betrayed the generation of your children.”

I don’t know about you, but I can just feel the anguish as I read these words… The questions.

“Why God?” “I do everything you ask, yet I suffer and the wicked prosper.” I am a good man, yet what I get in return seldom feels good.” “I could just take a play off here and cut this corner and I would be better off.”

For anyone in the room who may think the Bible is outdated and un-relatable… Seems pretty relatable to me.

The bible is not a book that has happened, but a book that is happening.

I believe that this scenario that Asaph finds himself in is happening all around us. Even right now as we gather together.

We have men who are tired, worn down, feeling like failures, longing for more, asking why.

So was a writer of the Biblical story.

But nonetheless, this issue is one that will wreck our homes if it is not dealt with.

Men, It is ok to struggle with these thoughts and feelings, it is not ok to stay there.

God has given you an assignment men. You are the leaders, providers, protectors and pastors of your homes.

And if your life is marked by these feeling of constant frustration and lack of contentment, then you will fail at those ends and your families, friends and our church will suffer.

The human will is not string enough to fight off those feelings for a lifetime.

So what is the answer? Asaph struggled with the same thing…

Psalm 73:16 “But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task,”

Let me put that in 2025 terms… “What the heck do I do about this?”

Psalm 73:16–17 “But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.”

When Asaph was struggling, what did he do? He went into God’s presence…

Are we doing the same men? When we struggle, when we face existential crises, when life isn’t working where do we go?

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

I fear we have churches full of men who seldom if ever take advantage of the direct access we have to the presence of God. Yet we wonder why our men are struggling so much.

Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Andrew Tate or whatever podcaster/author/influencer you like do not have the answers to life’s deepest questions and struggles.

Only God does, because He designed it.

Look at what God showed Asaph…

Psalm 73:16–20 “But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors! Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.”

God showed that what may look good on the outside in the present moment is actually bankrupt and leads to destruction.

Men in the room, following God is worth the momentary cost because the payoff is eternal.

Psalm 73:21–28 “When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”

Asaph has gone from existential crisis, to realizing all that he has is God.

He has realized that all of the things he longs for is just stuff. It meaningless. The only good and perfect thing that he has is God’s presence

Men, our families need men who work through the noise on their knees.

When envy strikes, wives nag, kids don’t listen, job stinks, house falls apart, car breaks down, we must go back to God.

There and only there will we find what we most long for… Him.

CLOSING

Men, you wanna know how to be the presence in your home that your family needs? Fall in love with Jesus.

Pursue your own joy in his presence until your heart can truly say Psalm 73:28 “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”

Tell Colby Jiu Jitsu guys story

Men, don’t lose the tree in the midst of the forest. Don’t gain seek to gain the world at the cost of your own soul.

There is God who loves you, lived a perfect life for you, died the death that you deserve and rose again so you could have Him.

What your wife, kids, neighbors, coworkers and church needs is not a successful guy who has it all, but a beggar who has become wealthy by the love of the Father.

PRAY