The Cool Table – The Fear of Not Being Enough

It was Summer 2011. I was entering my freshman year. I signed up to be on the high school football team. And I haven’t met anyone on the team yet, and I will never forget that first Summer morning weight lifting session. I enter the front door of the school, and I’m walking down this dimly lit hallway to the weight room. And I couldn’t hear what song was playing in the gym, but it was so loud and the bass was so deep that I could feel it thumping within my chest. And then I walk into the weight room. And I have never felt so small and puny in my life. Little freshman Daniel looking around at all of these massive upperclassman football players. You know, once you are an adult, a 3 year difference in age is practically nothing. But in high school, there is a world difference in development between a freshman and a senior. I was a little boy surrounded by men. And what I remember is how insecure I felt in that moment. How much I hated feeling like I was not part of the cool group. How much I wanted to belong.

And from that point on, I was on a journey of trying to make it into the cool group. So what do I do? I start dressing like the cool group. Athletic apparel. Sweatshirts. Sweatpants. Crew socks. Sorry mom. Those clothes you bought me aren’t going to work anymore. I need new clothes. If I want to be in the cool group, I need to look like the cool group. And then I started acting like the cool group. Sitting in the back of the classroom. Cracking jokes with each other during class, even though many times down deep I did not want to. But I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be in the cool group. And when I walked into the lunch room, I wanted to sit with the cool group. You see, every lunch room has certain tables. Tables that you wanted to sit at and tables that you didn’t. And I knew which table I wanted to be at. Because I wanted to be in the cool group.

It is interesting to reflect back on that experience and wonder: Why did I care so much? Why was I overhauling my wardrobe, changing where I sat, adjusting my behavior, changing how I talked, all so that I could fit in with this group of people that I barely knew? Because it wasn’t about the group of people. It was about me. When I entered high school,

Samuel - Human approval misleads

1 Samuel 16:6 NLT

When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!”

1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Eliab - Human approval fails

1 Samuel 17:28 NLT

But when David’s oldest brother, Eliab, heard David talking to the men, he was angry. “What are you doing around here anyway?” he demanded. “What about those few sheep you’re supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and deceit. You just want to see the battle!”

David - God’s approval surprises

Jesus - God’s approval frees

The Reversal of the Gospel