EPHESIANS 4:25-32 - A New Attitude

Introduction

There’s an old adage in corporate America, that you should always “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”. As one business consultant puts it:

How you dress at work sends a number of signals about how you view the environment, how much respect you have for your work and yourself, what groups you identify with, and where you think you belong. So if you dress more like the peer group you aspire to, and less like the one you are in, you are sending a powerful signal that you belong in that group. (https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/11/15/should-people-really-dress-for-the-job-they-want-not-the-job-they-have/, retrieved 8/21/2025)

There probably is a sense in which “the clothes make the man”, as it were, in the way we dress and present ourselves to others. And it is really easy to see the parallels here in our text this morning, isn’t it? As we saw last week, the Apostle Paul is calling the church in Ephesus

Ephesians 4:22–24 LSB

to lay aside, in reference to your former conduct, the old man, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and to be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and to put on the new man, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

In verses 17-24, Paul establishes the theological truth that Christ has set us free from the futility of that old man, that old dark, calloused, alienated mind, and has given us a new mind—the mind of God Himself.

That old “mind”—that non-physical part of our humanity responsible for believing and feeling; the part of us that predisposes us to act in a particular way, that decides what we value, what we love, that guides our decisions and attitudes and behaviors—that mind has been renewed in the New Birth that we have received through Christ.

It is this renewed mind that we are being called to put on in Verses 17-24, and here in verses 25-32 we are told what difference that new mind makes in our relationships with one another. If you really have gone through this transformation, if you really have “put off” that old man with its futile, darkened mind, then your life will show it in the way you relate to each other. Paul is saying, “Since you have put on the new man, act like it. The new set of clothes that you have been given in the New Birth will necessarily result in a new set of attitudes toward one another. Notice the word “therefore” that ties last week together with this week: Because you have put on the new man (vv. 17-24), therefore this is the way you will act (vv. 25-32).

So the way we can summarize the point of this passage is to see that

A mind RENEWED by God’s Spirit produces relationships EMPOWERED by His Spirit

The way that you can know that you have put on the new man and have been renewed in the spirit of your mind is by looking at the way you relate to one another. There are at least five ways that the renewed mind shows up in renewed relationships—here are five ways that you can know that you are growing in the “righteousness and holiness of the truth” of the new man.

First, you will see that you have

I. A New Relationship with THE TRUTH (Ephesians 4:25)

Ephesians 4:25 LSB

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.

Your Bible may have formatting that sets apart part of this verse to indicate that it is a quotation from the Old Testament. Paul is quoting here from the Book of Zechariah Chapter 8, where the prophet is describing the restoration of Jerusalem when God’s righteous Ruler is reigning. One of the characteristics of the righteous rule of God will be that His people will “speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates” (Zech. 8:16).

The fulfillment of that promise for God’s righteous reign is now fulfilled in Christ. So now, His people—His New Israel, as it were, are a people who are

Able to lay aside FALSEHOOD

The old futile mind that always wanted to retreat into lies, always wanted to bend the truth or be “technically” truthful—that mindset is gone. Instead of immediately figuring out how to lie your way out of a situation, in the renewed mind of the new man, you are free to speak the truth. And not only so, but you are

Able to speak FACE to FACE

"...Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor...” Think of that for a moment. The renewed mind that you have put on as a believer empowers you to do something that almost nobody does anymore: Tell the truth to one another face to face. One of the ways that we are seeing our society decay under the righteous judgment of God is that people are increasingly afraid to speak face to face with one another—we will text, we will post online, we will email—but we have no stomach for looking into someone’s eyes and speaking the truth to them, or hearing the truth from them.

But in the renewed mind of the new man, you are able to lay aside the falsehood and the deceptions and the lies and the half-truths and the evasions and simply say what is true to one another. Paul says that we can do this “for we are members of one another” (v. 25). We can do this because we know that we belong to one another; we can speak face-to-face with confidence and love because we have been made one in Christ.

A mind renewed by God’s Spirit produces relationships empowered by His Spirit. It creates a new relationship with the truth, and in verses 26-27 see that that renewed mind creates

II. A New relationship with YOUR ANGER (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Ephesians 4:26–27 LSB

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.

Once again, Paul is quoting the Old Testament here—this time, he is quoting one of David’s psalms, Psalm 4, where David is crying out to God because of the way his enemies are accusing him:

Psalm 4:4 LSB

Tremble, and do not sin; Ponder in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.

The word “tremble” refers to an angry trembling—you are so upset that it causes a physical reaction in you. But that angry trembling—in and of itself—is not sin. Consider the new relationship with your anger that the renewed mind of the new man give you—instead of being governed by your anger

You are able to GOVERN it

When you are falsely accused, when your plans are derailed or your desires are denied, you are no longer at the mercy of your anger—you do not live according to that old futile mind that says that the healthiest thing is to succumb to your anger and let it take you over. Instead, you are in control of how you respond when you become angry.

And one of the most important ways that the renewed mind of the new man allows you to govern your anger is that

You are able to LIMIT it

See at the end of verse 26: “let not the sun go down on your anger...” While it is true that it is possible to be angry without sinning, that possibility shrinks the longer that you spend being angry! It’s like walking on a slack-line like the kids put out in the back yard—I can take two steps on it without falling off, but if you ask me to walk the whole twenty feet, I’m doomed!

This is why Paul follows up in verse 27 with “Do not give the Devil an opportunity”. The longer you hold on to anger, the more you open yourself up to Satan’s attacks on your heart. He loves accusation (the name “Satan” means “accuser”, after all), and so the longer you stew in your anger the more opportunity he has to be there right at your elbow, stoking your anger into sin.

The renewed mind of the new man gives you the ability to do what you could never do before—stop being angry! Towards the end of our passage this morning, Paul will have more to say about how we can exchange our anger for grace, but for now see how you have a new relationship with your anger when you put on the new man with a mind renewed by God’s Spirit.

You have a new relationship with the truth, a new relationship with your anger, and in Verse 28 you are told that you have

III. A New relationship with YOUR WORK (Ephesians 4:28)

Ephesians 4:28 LSB

He who steals must steal no longer, but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.

The old, futile mind can look at a command like this and say, “Sure, I will stop taking things that don’t belong to me”—holding to the letter of the law. But as you read the rest of the verse you see that Paul has something more than just not shoplifting—This verse is a command to

Commit to HONEST LABOR

Consider what this verse says is the opposite of stealing: Eph 4:28

Ephesians 4:28 LSB

He who steals must steal no longer, but rather he must labor...

God’s Word has a way of piercing far more deeply than we would prefer—where the legalist will say “I’ve never stolen anything” and point to his perfect record of never taking so much as a pencil home, God’s Word says that if you spend your work day goofing off instead of laboring at your job, you are stealing! There has been a lot of attention given recently in workplaces to the phenomenon of “quiet quitting”—doing the bare minimum to keep your job, or of deliberately ignoring your job duties and spending the day doing what you want. God’s Word says that is stealing, and there is no place for that old futile mindset in the life of a believer who has put on the new man in Christ.

The new relationship with your work that the renewed mind gives you means that you commit to honest labor, and it also means that you

Commit to SERVING OTHERS

See this in the rest of Verse 28:

Ephesians 4:28 LSB

He who steals must steal no longer, but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.

The old futile mindset about work focuses on me—what I am getting out of this career, what demands this job is putting on me, how I can get ahead for my own advancement, and so on. But the renewed mind of the new man looks at work and asks, “How can I be a blessing to others through this job”? Instead of the selfishness and callousness of the old futile mind (cp. v. 19) that is willing to backstab and throw others under the bus in order to get ahead, a new relationship with work enables you to joyfully consider how you can bless others by sharing what you accomplish and create with them.

The renewed mind of the new man that you have been given by the New Birth in Christ means that you have a new relationship with the truth, a new relationship with your anger, a new relationship with your work, and in verses 29-30,

IV. A New relationship with YOUR WORDS (Ephesians 4:29-30)

Ephesians 4:29–30 LSB

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for building up what is needed, so that it will give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

The word “unwholesome” has the idea in Greek of being “unsound”—like the way you would talk about a horse being “sound” or “unsound”. Words that are strong, that are reliable, that are not lame or weak or undependable or worthless.

The old futile mindset has no filter on its mouth—it will say whatever it wants to say in the moment; it will use words to manipulate and flatter; the old darkened mind will try to insinuate or lay traps or tell lies:

Proverbs 20:19 LSB

He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with one of loose lips.

But when you put on the new man with its renewed mind, you are able to

Consider how you will BLESS (v. 29)

with your words. Instead of the unsound, rotten words of the darkened, alienated mind, you will carefully consider the effect of your words on others:

Ecclesiastes 10:12 LSB

Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, but the lips of a fool swallow him up;

The renewed mind in Christ delights in bringing blessing and grace and encouragement and truth to others—how will my words be received? What fruit will my words bear? Amy Carmichael, the 19th Century missionary to India, used to say that before you speak, you ask yourself three questions: “Is this true?” “Is it necessary?” and “Is it loving?”

In Verse 30, Paul seems to suddenly switch subjects, when he says

Ephesians 4:30 LSB

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

When you consider the context here, you notice that both Verse 29 and Verse 31 are describing our words—and so it seems to follow that what grieves the Holy Spirit in this verse is the way we speak to one another. Verse 29 — no unwholesome words Verse 31 — no bitterness, etc.

So we can take Verse 30 as an admonishment that when you are ready to speak harshly or bitterly to or about someone, that you

Consider who you will GRIEVE (v. 30)

I want to suggest to you that, while God is grieved to hear His redeemed children hurting each other with their words, this goes far deeper than just hurtful or vindictive words that we say to each other. Consider how often you are tempted to grumble or complain to yourself about that rotter of a husband or ingrate of a child or oaf of a church member or idiot of a co-worker that you have been saddled with. When you are tempted to mumble and mutter to yourself about how terrible they are, consider that the Spirit Who dwells in you is listening. When you don’t even speak, but let those unsound words and sharp-edged thoughts against a fellow believer run through your mind, consider the Spirit Who is listening. Even if your hurtful, bitter, slanderous words are never uttered with teeth, tongue and breath, they still bring pain and grief to the God Who has delighted to save them—and you.

The mind that has been renewed by the Spirit of God produces relationships empowered by His Spirit. You have a new relationship with the truth, a new relationship with your anger, a new relationship with your work, a new relationship with your words—and I want to suggest that Verses 31-32 hint at

V. A New relationship with YOUR PRIDE (Ephesians 4:31-32)

I think that sinful pride is at the root of all the sins that are listed together here in Verse 31:

Ephesians 4:31 LSB

Let all bitterness and anger and wrath and shouting and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

All of these sins are, to one extent or another, the result of a darkened, futile mindset that encounters opposition to its own self-importance. We grow bitter against those who have offended us in some way; we become angry when our plans or ideas are thwarted; we can be filled with wicked wrath that reveals itself in screaming and slanderous outbursts of rage. But consider how all of those sins will be put away when you

Kill the root of SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS (v. 31; cp. Phil. 2:3-4)

The old futile mind will always put itself first; will always be ready to retaliate when insulted or lash out with bitterness or slander when its pride is hurt. But when you sever that root of self-righteousness, you kill the animating spirit of those sins. To have the renewed mind of the new man is to have the mind of Christ. And that mindset is described in Philippians 2 as

Philippians 2:3–4 LSB

doing nothing from selfish ambition or vain glory, but with humility of mind regarding one another as more important than yourselves, not merely looking out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

When you put off that old mind with its pride and self-righteousness and put on the new mind of Christ, you are freed to

Imitate the GRACIOUS KINDNESS of God (v. 32)

Ephesians 4:32 LSB

Instead, be kind to one another, tender-hearted, graciously forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has graciously forgiven you.

Here is the freedom that you have, Christian, in the renewed mind you have been given in the new man: You are free to replace all that malice with grace. Grace that leads to kindness instead of anger, a tender heart instead of calloused grudges, an eagerness to forgive and experience God’s grace together instead of fighting and arguing and despising. That old malice has been replaced by tender-heartedness—genuine affection and delight for one another. Instead of bitterness, sweetness; instead of anger, friendship; instead of holding a grudge, freely letting go of every offense in the same way God has let go of your offenses against Him.

Your offenses toward God were far more grievous than any way you can be offended by another mortal. And yet, through Christ

Psalm 103:12 LSB

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Are you willing to cast those offenses by your brother or sister as far as the east is from the west? Are you eager to sever the root of pride and self-righteousness that fuels the bitterness and anger and striving that comes out of your wounded sense of self-importance? What does God’s Word reveal in you as regards your heart toward your brothers and sisters in Christ this morning?

What does God’s Word here reveal about your words? Do you consider how your words will bless others? Or are you content to let them spill out of your mouth no matter who they will hurt or what damage they will do?

What does God’s Word reveal about your relationship with your work? Why are you going to work tomorrow? Are you driven by that futile ambition to get ahead and climb the ladder? Or are you there to do the absolute minimum you can to get by? Is the work God has given you to do tomorrow a way for you to spend yourself in productive work for the sake of those who need you? Do you look at your work—whether your employment, your home, your academics—do you look at the calling God has given you for your labors as a way to bless and strengthen and provide for others? Or do you despise it as a necessary evil that gets between you and your leisure?

What does God’s Word reveal about your relationship to your anger? Are you seeing a growing ability to govern your anger, to limit it before it drags you into sin? What makes you angry? Are you angered by the ways that sin has marred and corrupted the world around you—the pain and suffering caused by the wickedness of men’s evil hearts? Are you angered most of all by the sin that still lurks in your own heart? Or does your anger just erupt in the direction of your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, or whoever or whatever crosses you or frustrates you in some way?

What does God’s Word reveal about your relationship with truth? Do you delight to speak truth to one another? Are you able to speak face to face with those who need to hear the truth from you? Are you eager for others to come and speak truth into your life when necessary? Or is it easier for you to dodge those encounters—to spin your words in such a way that you don’t have to have an uncomfortable conversation; to find ways to avoid seeing or speaking to someone who needs to talk to you (or to get out from under having a hard conversation with them?)

If God’s Word has shown you that you have been clinging to that old futility of mind, then God’s Word has great comfort for you this morning—in Christ you have been promised a renewed mind, in the likeness of God created in righteousness and holiness of the truth! You really can lay aside the falsehood, the dishonesty, the slander, the anger, the bitterness and malice. The New Birth that is offered to you through Christ’s death and resurrection means that you have the power for a transformed mind! Come to Him and put off all of that old futility—confess it for what it is: Lying, stealing, slander, rage, bitterness, pride. Speak the truth to God about your sin, and He will speak the truth of real forgiveness and restoration to you through His Word:

1 John 1:8–9 LSB

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

You can live in that renewed mind; you can put on the new man. You can walk free of the darkness, alienation, ignorance, hardness and calloused greed of that old mind. So put it all off, lay it down and walk away from it, and walk free in the sure and gracious promises made real for you by your Savior, Jesus Christ!

BENEDICTION

Jude 24–25 LSB

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, might, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.