A Command with a Promise #2

Introduction  

“Honor your father and mother” it sounds easy doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to do that, even just for the simple reason that they gave you life? You owe them!  But it’s not so easy to honor any authority in our life is it? We don’t like anybody telling us what to do! Just ask any child if they always honor their parents or their teachers! Or ask any adult... their boss. We simply have a problem with authority!    

Now, Most people have a problem with their parents at one time or another. It was the author Mark Twain that mused “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years”.  

Sadly, many children become estranged from their folks for a lifetime. This is totally unbiblical! No matter what our age or circumstances, God never put conditions or time limits on honoring our parents, He just said do it for your own good. ILL. My dad... Dad frustrating at times. An emotional Christian, let things sway him, and was inconsistent as a believer. This drove me up the wall. Hard time honoring him, ...silly, sometimes stupid until I ended up being the same way! Ask my girls, or better yet, my wife! But this commandment is so important that God put it right in the middle. It’s the hinge between our relationship with God and how we treat our fellow man! If we are getting along with God, by obeying His Word, we will get along with our fellow man. And being the pivotal commandment, our destiny hinges on how we respond to it. It’s the first commandment that states a promise that affects our future, how we process the past, and how we respond right now! It determines what God can and will do in our lives today. So this morning I want to dive a little deeper into this familiar command, the promise, and how we can honor our parents. Heads up... Sharing 

I. WHAT’S THE COMMAND? (and Why it is needed) 

Video: Skit Guys... 9:22 – 12:03... What does it mean to honor? The word honor simply means to show respect. How many of you have been children? You know what it’s like to disrespect your parents.  ILL. With our own kids... (disrespect) Not only is it only one of the most hurtful things when they treat you like you don’t know anything! But God knows that how we view and respect authority in our life while we’re young can have a huge affect on how we end up viewing Him. If you respect somebody, obedience is also part of the mix! (Eph. 6:1-2... children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor you father and mother ((this is the first commandment with a promise)) ILL.  Dawson McAllister... Studies have shown that there is a downward Progression of disrespect... (Don’t respect and honor the authority of parents... teachers..., police..., GOD...) Is it just teens? no! Adults can carry disrespect onto their adult parents and get frustrated! ILL. My mom... (was absent minded, slow, was a poor driver when she never used to be... we will all get there someday) I had to be very careful NOT to be disrespectful. Think of your own parents... (disrespectful attitudes...). Think also on how that affects your life now... (frustration, attitudes), even in your relationship with God! Many of you here have had a hard time with parents, we’ll talk about what to do later but for now realize it is an unconditional command given by God for our good.  

II. WHAT’S THE PROMISE? (and Why do we need it) 

The promise is that God wants us to prosper and live a good long life. “That your days may be prolonged” (Ex.20:12). “That your days may be prolonged and that it might go well with you” (Duet. 5:16). “That it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:3). Basically, live long and prosper!... (Star Trek). Spock came from a respectful family! Our well being is significantly wrapped up in relation to honoring our father and mother! So here again we see the motive of God towards us; that we might really live! But WHY honor them?... So we will not be weighed down or taken captive by bitterness and slowly be destroying our life! This attitude of bitterness leads to anger, depression, frustration and a negative outlook on life and all our relationships! But the Lord is saying “If you honor your F&M, things will go well for you, I will honor your life, I will bless your life, and I will extend your life! However, I must also warn you that if you violate this command, it will affect your whole life negatively!. Even Jesus said of God, siting the O.T. principles seriousness, ”Anyone who curses his F or M must be put to death”! (Matt. 15:4). I’m sure the reasoning behind this is to put him out of his misery before his has a chance to infect others. O.T. big on that... (Kill their pagan enemies!) At the very least we must realize that this is a command of God, that if not taken seriously, will lead to broken relationships, which as we’ve seen in our society, leads to destruction of lives and all kinds of evil. But if we honor our F & M and set our life aside for Gods use, He will bless us greatly, He’ll cause you and your family to turn out better than you ever thought you would because in honoring His commands we honor Him!  

Maybe you’ve had a bad parent! Maybe there’s been scars of grief and abuse! Maybe it’s hard for you to see yourself honoring him or her. It doesn’t matter, this commandment applies to all of us! You are responsible to take care of your response only! ILL. Tori...  Why? because God is interested in our right now! What’s past is past. He wants to change your heart right now, not tomorrow. He wants to walk with us right now, teach us, bless us, protect us from destructive attitudes. And if right now, I can settle this matter of honoring my parents, I can be a different person! I can be a parent to my own kids free from bitterness. All I need to do for myself and my family is to respond properly to Gods command and He will honor that! He has promised it will go well with me. So,  

III. HOW DO WE HONOR THEM?  

 We know the command and we know the promise, but what can we do? How can I honor them? We’re going to do something a little bit different. Sharing: What do you think it means to “honor your father and mother”?... Maybe you have some idea others can benefit from...   Let me give you two general categories that probably al of these fall under. (1) By loving them. No matter what they’ve done to you, if your response to them is always love, it will go well with you. Read I John 2:9-11... We are the light of the world... You can’t hate anybody without it somehow eating away at you. You must love them. ILL. I remember those words of love when I came home from the office; Daddys home!! Each one of the girls... Jasmine... guinea pigs... Nothing makes a parent feel more appreciated. And you never get tired of it! ILL. my family in Chicago... never those words “I love you”... before she passed away she couldn’t get enough. In my older age I said it more often, knowing that it took the pain out of the separation in miles between here and there. (2) By forgiving them. Remember the Lord’s prayer? “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” If we don’t forgive we won’t be forgiven! Most people as they grow older truly regret the mistakes they’ve made. We need to give them the chance to make peace by forgiving them, even if they don’t ask for it. If you can resolve to do this, you can know that at least you’ve done your part. Scripture challenges us in Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people”. Whether or not they want to live peaceably with you, is not up to you... But if you harbor bitterness and unforgiveness you will not get past it, it will eat you alive! As a matter of fact, I believe it’s worse for you than for them. And as far as the kingdom of God is concerned, you may as well be living on another planet, because God can neither use you or bless you.  

CONCLUSION  

We can only hope that in negative relationships, loving them and forgiving them will change THEIR outlook, but we know for a fact that for us, in scripture and our experience, it is also powerful to change OUR life. We can so easily be captive to bitterness that ruins our life! Hebrews 12:15 (NASB)  

15 See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;  

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NASB)  

31 (NASB)  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And here’s the solution, it continues  32  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. I understand, it sometimes goes against everything we feel, but we have to live by God’s Word not our emontions. We need to make it right with forgiveness, kindness and respect in all our relationships!  

 God certainly wants us to do that in our life! But it’s no fun going through life at odds with mom and dad, so, make it right! Maybe our motivation to do this should be: How much do I want the Lord to use my life? How available do I really want to be when the H.S. looks for someone to use for His purpose in this generation? And what example do I want to leave for my family? These problems and attitudes can become generational... Children quite naturally pick up what they see in their parents.  I don’t know about, you but I want to be used of God in whatever lifetime I have left. Like Abraham, we were blessed to BE a blessing to those around us and especially to our F & M’s who gave us life and took care of us. We must break with the human tendencies and live by the Spirit, to give God a reason to bless us. Put yourself in the way of His blessing! As hard as that is sometimes, we must be willing to obey Gods tender commandments and trust that He knows best. That He knows what He’s talking about when He says “ Honor your F & M that you may live long and prosper.