Generations of Grace - Parenting with a Purpose

Introduction

Good morning, church family!

I want to start with a little parenting humor. Someone once said: “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” Isn’t that true? The second you sit down—“Mom! Dad! I need water. I lost my toy. I can’t find my socks.”

Parenting—and yes, grand-parenting too—is both one of the greatest joys and one of the greatest challenges God gives us. The Bible tells us that every child is a gift from God.

But with every gift comes responsibility / a response to the giver!

Today, we’re going to see from God’s Word that parenting isn’t about running a child-centered home or a parent-centered home. Instead, God calls us to build a Christ-centered home.

PRAYER

Our Father in Heaven…

The Stewardship of Parenting

Every child is a gift from God—but parents are not owners; they’re stewards.

Psalm 127:3 ESV

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Jeremiah 1:5 “5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;…””

Psalm 139:13 “13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”

Matthew 19:14 “14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.””

Your child belongs to God.

Psalm 100:3 “3 Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”

Deuteronomy 32:6 “6 Do you thus repay the Lord, you foolish and senseless people? Is not he your father, who created you, who made you and established you?”

1 Samuel 1:27–28 “27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.”

You are called to do one thing.

Deuteronomy 4:6–7 “6 Keep them and do them, for that will be your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples, who, when they hear all these statutes, will say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.’ 7 For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as the Lord our God is to us, whenever we call upon him?”

Deuteronomy 4:9 “9 “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—”

Are you being faithful

Deuteronomy 6 calls us first to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength. Why? Because you can’t give your kids what you don’t have yourself. Parenting is discipleship.

Paul David Tripp once said, “You cannot give grace to your children unless you first acknowledge how much you need it yourself.”

Think about this: God didn’t just give you children to raise them— He also gave you children to raise you. Parenting isn’t just about shaping their character; it’s shaping yours too.

The Dangers of a Man-Centered Home

Proverbs 16:25 ESV

25 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Here’s where things go wrong—when homes become parent-centered or child-centered.

Avoid a Parent-centered home.

A parent-centered home says, “It’s all about ME.”

Rules without relationship

Pride, control, hypocrisy, anger

Proverbs 16:25 “25 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”

Colossians 3:21 “21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

New American Standard Bible (1995) Chapter 3

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

walking on eggshells / rebellion

inconsistent / emotion driven engagement

desire to maintain a status or image

Avoid a Child-centered home.

A child-centered home says, “It’s all about the kids.”

little to no consequences / inconsistent elastic boundaries

manipulation, bargaining, trickery

parents afraid to offend their child.

Proverbs 13:18 “18 Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.”

leads to entitlement / lack of contentment

naughty and disrespectful behavior

setting up for life full of disappointment

I’ll put it this way: A child-centered home is like letting a 8-year-old drive the car—it may feel exciting at first, but eventually it’s going to crash! And a parent-centered home is like the parent driving with a blindfold on— He has no idea where he is really going and the kids are in the back crippled by fear. Neither works! That’s why God calls us to something better.

The Standards of a God-Centered Home

So what does a God-centered home look like?

Deuteronomy 6:4–9 ESV

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:6–9 says God’s Word should be on our hearts, on our lips, and on our walls. In other words, His truth should be everywhere.

A God-centered home is:

Truth Observing

Scripture is the standard and the authority

Both parents and children are held accountable

2 Timothy 3:16 “16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,”

New International Version (2011) Chapter 6

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord

Worship Giving

Loving God above all else even one another and selves

Making time with God a family priority

Matthew 22:37–38 “37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment.”

Gospel Proclaiming

Reminding our kids that Jesus saves, not just that “we behave.”

Reminding our kids that we too are sinners in need of mercy and grace.

John 3:3 “3 Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.””

Heart Transforming

Aiming for inward change, not just outward compliance

Modeling humble repentance when necessary

Matthew 15:19 “19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”

God Glorifying

Teaching them to live for His glory

Being consistent in our walk and talk

1 Corinthians 10:31 “31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Lou Priolo once wrote, “The God-centered home is one in which everyone is committed to pleasing and serving God. God’s desires are exalted over everyone else’s.”

That’s the vision God has for our families.

The Practice of Christ-Centered Parenting

Now, how do we actually do this? Paul gives us the answer…

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Four Practices of God-Centered Parenting:

Biblical Discipline

Loving consistent correction, not haphazard angry punishment

Boundaries with love. Rules with relationship.

Proverbs 16:25 “25 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”

Colossians 3:21 “21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

Proverbs 23:13–14 “13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. 14 If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.”

Hebrews 12:5–11 “5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Practical Instruction

Teaching God’s Word daily and naturally

Deuteronomy 6:7 “7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Around the dinner table. In the car. At bedtime.

Remember: If you don’t teach your kids, the world will.

Personal Example

Model the life you want your kids to live

Philippians 4:9 “9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Kids are great at imitating, not listening.

They learn more from what you do than what you say… More is caught then taught!!

Supernatural Hope

God equips you for the task

2 Peter 1:3 “3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,”

Isaiah 55:11 “11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

You are not alone. Parenting is not about perfection but pointing them to Jesus.

Humor: “Parenting is a little like gardening. You pull weeds, plant seeds, and pray the neighbors don’t see how messy your yard looks in the meantime.”

Applications

Now let’s get practical:

For Married Couples: Parent in unity, not tension. If mom says yes and dad says no, kids learn manipulation, not obedience. Solve conflicts biblically so your parenting isn’t undermined.

For Single Parents: This road is a bit harder, but not impossible. God promises that His grace is sufficient for you. The church family should step in to support—pray, mentor, and encourage. You must ask!

For Grandparents: Your legacy matters! Timothy’s faith came from his mother and grandmother (2 Tim. 1:5). Never underestimate the impact of your prayers, your stories of God’s faithfulness, and your love. Your grandkids may forget the toy you bought them, but they’ll never forget the Scripture you read with them.

Conclusion

Building a God-centered home isn’t easy, but it is possible by God’s grace. Children don’t need perfect parents—they need faithful parents who point them to a perfect Savior.

C.S. Lewis  “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

So whether you’re a parent, a grandparent, or a spiritual parent to children in this church, remember: Your home can be a place where the next generation learns to love and follow Jesus.

Let’s choose today—not to build parent-centered homes, not to build child-centered homes, but to build God-centered homes.

Group Questions

What’s one funny or memorable moment from your experience with parenting, grand-parenting, or being around kids?

Psalm 127:3 reminds us that children are a gift from God. How does viewing children as God’s possession entrusted to us change the way we think about parenting (or supporting parents)?

Deuteronomy 6 calls parents to love God first before passing that love on to their children. In what ways do you find it challenging—or encouraging—to model your faith before your family?

Which do you think is more common in our culture today—parent-centered homes or child-centered homes? Why? What dangers have you seen from each?

In your experience, what are some practical ways to make Scripture a regular part of family life (Deut. 6:7)? Which of these do you personally find most helpful?

Hebrews 12 describes God’s discipline as loving and purposeful. How does this reshape the way we view discipline with children (or even how God disciplines us)?

Kids “catch” more than they “hear.” Can you think of someone in your life whose example of faith spoke louder than their words? What impact did that have on you?

Parenting (or spiritual parenting) can feel overwhelming. How does the promise of 2 Peter 1:3 (“His divine power has granted us all things…”) encourage you in your calling?

For those who aren’t parents—how can you (the church family) come alongside parents, single parents, and grandparents to help build God-centered homes? For parents how would you like to see this happen?

What’s one specific change you feel led to make this week in your home—or in your relationships with children/grandchildren—to make Christ more central?