Stay The Course

Paul will now address questions that came to him by letter that was delivered by messengers the letter that was essentially “Why can't we?” in its attitude. In first Corinthians Paul battles on two fronts. In chapter 6, Paul taught against the libertines who emphasized everything is permissible because we have freedom. Now Paul will address those with ascetic attitudes, those who believed that everything that was in regard to the flesh is evil. They suggested that if you were married, you needed to live as if you were unmarried, or if you are unmarried, or even engaged to be married, you should remain unmarried. Paul, as an apostle under the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ gives general instructions regarding marriage, singleness, and divorce.

1. General teachings regarding marriage, vs. 1-8.

1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote,

“Now concerning” is a key phrase in the second half of this letter and a commonly used phrase in antiquity. It is Paul’s response to the questions the Corinthians were asking. were

it is good for a man not to touch a woman

This may be a quotation from the letter Paul received, but some scholars have suggested it may be a slogan, or a “Corinthianism.” It is an idiom in regard to sexual relations.

Paul will offer this advice in verse 2, as well as in verses 8, 10, 11, and 12-16: “Do not seek a change in status.”

2 But because of immoralities,

These “immoralities” were those that were prevalent in Paul’s day. Here is the command:

each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.

Marriage is, among other descriptions, a sexually monogamous relationship. “Have” has an emphasis adding “and keep to”; i.e. each man is to have and to keep to his wife alone and each woman is to have and to keep to her husband alone.

3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

Only what is due to one alone must only be given to one alone. Why? Part of marriage is the relinquishing of certain personal rights. This true even in the area of marital relations.

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Paul emphasizes the equal rights each husband and wife have toward their spouse.

Now it is extremely likely that some of the Corinthians bought into the ascetic viewpoint, and felt they would be more godly if they rejected the pleasures of the body in the marital relationship. But Paul, under the inspiration of the Spirit, commands…

5 Stop depriving one another,

Paul then gives a concession:

except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer,

The three parts of the concession:

(1) by mutual consent/decision

(2) temporarily

(3) for a good objective (devote yourself to prayer, i.e. a spiritual need)

This would be the same for fasting or sleeping. But then, when that time has ended. . .

and … come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Normally we think of sexual activity as an indication of a lack of self-control, but here Paul is viewing the failure to engage in sexual relations between spouses also as a lack of control!

6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command.

Paul is pointing out that regular marital relations are the norm; verse 5 is a concession. Abstinence was the exception to what was normal in Paul’s view.

7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.

At the time of the writing of this letter, apparently Paul is single. However, that does not mean that Paul was never married. Later in the first century, to be a part of the Sanhedrin and have a vote, the member had to be married. That may or may not have been true in Paul’s days before his conversion. We just do not know.

The advantage for Paul is that he would not be bringing a wife into the many hardships of his ministry as an apostle. But God is the one who distributes his gifts of grace …

However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

“In this manner” refers to singleness, or celibacy (free from the desire or need of sexual fulfillment in marriage). “That” refers to marriage.

2. Singleness is a legitimate option, vs. 8-9.

Paul continues to address the goodness of singleness and the exception:

8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

Paul mentions two categories in the first phrase of the verse. They are (1) all unmarried; (2) unmarried due to the death of a spouse. He once again suggests that they do not seek a change in status. He makes it clear that singleness is not a sinful condition: “it is good for them if they remain even as I am.” The following exception is given with a qualification:

9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

“If they do not have” = “cannot or do not” then that believer should marry a suitable believing spouse.

The last phrase is a euphemism for unfulfilled passion (sexual) where you are so enflamed with passion that you cannot stand up against it.

3. Considerations Regarding Divorce

A. No divorce between believing spouses, vs. 10-11.

10        But to the married I give instructions,  

This is a command from Paul, which is sourced in the authority of Christ.

not I, but the Lord,

that the wife should not leave her husband

Matthew 5:27–33 NASB95

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. “If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell. “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. “Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’

Matthew 19:3–12 NASB95

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

Here again ‘Do not seek a change in status.’ The Lord Himself taught authoritatively about the indissolubility of marriage. Yet divorce happens…

Culturally, in the Roman Empire, to leave is virtually the same as to divorce. Greco-Roman culture allowed wives to initiate a divorce, but for Jews, only the husband could initiate a divorce. There are two options from the course of action if the believing wife should take…

11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

(1) she must remain unmarried; or (2) she must be reconciled to her husband. The Lord’s will is that all married, including believers, work through their marital problems rather than giving up on them and divorcing.

B. No divorce between a believer and an unbelieving spouse, vs. 12-16.

12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord,

Jesus did not speak specifically about this in His teachings, so Paul’s assertion here is by inspired apostolic authority. “The rest” is referring to mixed marriages, where only one spouse is a believer.

that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.

One of the claims against Christianity was that Christians break up the family unit, thereby destroying the culture. Paul, as an apostle, conditioned his command based on the consent of the unbelieving spouse to live with the believing husband (“brother”). The command based on the condition is that he must not divorce her.

13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.

For the same reason, a believing wife must not send her unbelieving husband away if he consents to live with her.

The point is that believers must not initiate the termination of their marriage for this, i.e. being married to an unbeliever. Paul does not comment on all the possible situations that a marital couple may face.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

The reason Paul gives is that the unbelieving spouse is “set apart” through the believing partner, that being a special blessing to hear and see Christ in the words and example of the believer in everyday struggles of life. The children receive special blessings through the presence and the witness of the believer. That benefit may lead to salvation for the unbelieving spouse as well as each child in the marriage. In any case, there is a definite spiritual benefit as the believer lives out her faith before the family.

15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

The exception here is that the unbeliever initiates the leaving (divorce). That being the case, the believing spouse is to allow them to leave.

Paul does not address the issue of remarrying here. The believing spouse does not have to force the marriage to continue. God desires a peaceful relationship, not a combative one, for the sake of both spouses and any children that are impacted.

Principle from this passage is that if this situation arises, the believer should remain unmarried while the possibility of reconciliation exists. But if the unbelieving spouse remarries, then the believing spouse is free to remarry, though Paul has stated earlier in this letter the state of being unmarried is not wrong, but  

16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

What Paul means here is that saving your spouse is God’s work, not ours. We are to be an example of our Lord Jesus Christ in all our relationships, but it is especially crucial in the marital relationship. As long as a believing spouse is married, they may have a great influence on the unbelieving partner and any children they may share.

What should we do in this situation? Pray that God may bring the unsaved spouse to salvation while we do the Lord’s will as Paul has directed here.

(1 Corinthians 7:1–16, NASB95)