When Love Looks Like Jesus
Notes
Transcript
Me
Me
Have you ever had someone walk out of your life, no fight, no explanation, just gone?
I know that pain, because one of my best friends Brad dropped me like a hot rock.
We struck it up in High School, when he was ostracized from Youth Group,
We became very close friends, so close that he stood as a groomsman in my wedding.
Multiple times he called me half-drunk at 12:30/1am and tell me that he felt I was an authentic Jesus follower
In his words, “a light in my dark world.”
I loved Brad as a brother, but then life happened. I got married, and we hung out a few times, but then he went radio silent.
He started hanging out more and more with another friend who didn’t want anything to do with God because of his difficult past and suffering.
Yet, Brad is still FB friends with me, hasn’t blocked me or unfriended me. Still hasn’t blocked my number.
In fact, I even called Brad when Cam died, just to reach out in the middle of that loss, because sudden death makes you think about what matters.
Crickets.
So I’ve had to mourn the loss of a dear friend, one I had so many memories with, late-night video gaming, walking the train tracks on summer nights, celebrating New Year’s together.
It hurt immensely to have Brad walk away, to turn his back on all those years of faithful and loving friendship.
Yet, for whatever reason, he did
We
We
I don’t think this story is all that uncommon, the longer you live, the more likely you are to experience this type of struggle
CS Lewis put it this way,
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken
I think we can all think of a relationship that we thought was strong and robust, yet it proved to be shallow
Whether that person was a friend, a pastor, or even family members
Our world is full of cheap, uncostly love
We have hundreds of friends on our social media, that we enjoy because we get likes and hearts on our curated photos
Or we have cute Snapchat streaks, or emoji’s and emoticons on photos in the group chat, etc
Yet, how many of those friends would drop what they are doing to come help you if you were in real need?
A blow-out on the side of the road at 10pm for instance?
When love costs something, time, money, comfort, or our pride, we hesitate, we wonder if it is worth it
This is the tension that John wants us to wrestle with, what does loving like Jesus look like?
What does real love, driven by the Gospel, look like?
And how does it demand we change the way we live?
God
God
Gospel and Anti-Gospel (v.11-12)
John answers this question by going back all the way to the beginning of the first family feud, Cain and Abel
John reiterates the same message we’ve been hearing from the beginning
Throughout this letter, John has been showing how the gospel restores fellowship with God changes us
That is why John says the message you have heard from the beginning!
This is very important, so listen up
We need to understand the gospel, if we want to understand John, and the New Testament
Here’s John’s gospel logic,
We have been restored to God our creator
Therefore, we are restored people who live in community of other restored people
Seeking to love and worship God
How we treat fellow believers reveals whether God has truly changed us
In short:
Being made right with God, empowers us to live with love towards one another
John has not said anything new at this point in his letter, he writes in spirals, not in straight lines, returning to important ideas!
Multiple times he’s already reminded us:
1 John 1:3-7- Vertical and Horizontal Worship
In 2:3-6, abiding in Jesus showing itself in obedience
In 2:7-11- light/darkness tested by love for brothers/sisters
In 3:1: brings it together: fellowship with God produces fellowship with each other, grounded in Christ’s love
Then here in 3:11 John brings it all back combining some of the things already said,
But ultimately he is reminding us that fellowship with God produces fellowship with each other, and that is all grounded in the love of Christ
So that is why for John, how you love, shows if God’s love is in you, and he wants to show us what hate looks like
In fact, this is the only reference to anyone in the OT in this book, so we might want to pay attention!
2 Then she gave birth to his brother Abel. Abel took care of the flocks, while Cain cultivated the ground.
3 At the designated time Cain brought some of the fruit of the ground for an offering to the Lord.
4 But Abel brought some of the firstborn of his flock—even the fattest of them. And the Lord was pleased with Abel and his offering,
5 but with Cain and his offering he was not pleased. So Cain became very angry, and his expression was downcast.
6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why is your expression downcast?
7 Is it not true that if you do what is right, you will be fine? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. It desires to dominate you, but you must subdue it.”
8 Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
There are some misunderstandings that we need to clear up from this text
First, notice the brother’s jobs:
Abel is a shepherd
Cain is a farmer
Second, what are they bringing before God?
They are bringing a sacrifice to God, because they know God from their parents
Cain offers some of the fruit of the ground
Abel offers some of the firstborn, even the fattest of them
Some say that the problem is that Cain did not offer animal sacrifices!
Well that is a bit ridiculous in premise, since that would require him going to Abel, and Abel already offered the firstborn and best!
Then in Leviticus, at the very beginning of the book, in chapter 2, God describes how to do grain offerings
So what is the problem with Cain’s offering?
The problem is he did not give the ‘choice’ or ‘first fruit’ to God as an offering
It is amazing when we see God’s graciousness to Cain, he comes directly to him, and warns him that sin is tempting and trying him and he must resist!
Yet, he doesn’t, he allows the sin of jealousy to grow so strong that he would rather hate his brother and kill him, than allow his pride and ego to be humbled
John says that what Cain did was evil, a lesser, heartless offering, and when God confronted him about it, he hardens himself
Cain decides, just like his parents, that he will be God, and he will determine right from wrong
Cain was convicted by the righteousness of his brother, who was willing to offer costly sacrifices, the healthiest, choicest firstborn animals
These animals would be the prized breeding animals that you would want to build the herd from!
Do you see why it is called ‘sacrifice’, there is a cost!
What Cain shows us is what the anti-gospel looks like
The gospel seeks to love others, when it is costly, when it is difficult
The anti-gospel, gives rise to people like Cain, and Cain is the epitome of the anti-christs that John had just spoken about
Anti-gospel love is selfish, cheap, destructive and that’s worldly love
It’s why Jesus warned us in Matthew 5:21–22 “21 “You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, Do not murder, and whoever murders will be subject to judgment. 22 But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Whoever insults his brother or sister, will be subject to the court. Whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be subject to hellfire.”
So John is trying to tell us in our relationships, if we want to emulate Jesus, if we want to live out the gospel, hard, costly choices must be made
The bottom line:
Love is a verb, actions speak louder than words!
Gospel and Hatred (v.13-15)
Since Love is a verb, our actions will show our allegiance
John wants to remind us not to be surprised when the world that runs on anti-gospel love is full of hate for you and me
When we follow Jesus we loosen our grip on our earthly citizenship
Jesus himself in John 15:18 “18 “If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you.”
Of course we are seeking to model our love on Jesus’ example, and so if the world hates Jesus, it will hate his love, and those who live it out
We are not called to be combative, consider the story of Rosaria Butterfield’s conversion
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
Rosaria Butterfield was a leftist professor of literature at Syracuse University. As a feminist and lesbian, she was speechless when in 1997 the Christian group Promise Keepers held a two-day event at the university.
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
She criticized the university’s decision to allow the group to use the campus for a weekend, and she wrote an article in the local newspaper attacking Promise Keepers.
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
She received quite a lot of hate mail in response to her newspaper article, but one letter stood out. It was from the pastor of the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church, Ken Smith. The letter was respectful and kind but probing, as Smith asked Butterfield to defend her presuppositions.
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
The letter bothered Butterfield and caused her to consider the validity of her historical materialist worldview. The letter also initiated a friendship with Ken and his wife Floy. Her previous experience of Christians included those “who mocked me on Gay Pride Day,” but that was not what Ken did: “He did not mock. He engaged.” Ken and Floy “entered my world. They met my friends. We did book exchanges. We talked openly about sexuality and politics.”
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
Rosaria began to read the Bible, reading it several times over the course of a year. She fought against it with all her might, but it overflowed into her world. One day on her own accord she “rose from the bed of my lesbian lover, and an hour later sat in a pew at the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church.”
“Then, one ordinary day, I came to Jesus, openhanded and naked. In this war of worldviews, Ken was there. Floy was there. The church that had been praying for me for years was there. Jesus triumphed.”
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
The beautiful story of Rosaria’s unlikely conversion demonstrates how important it is to show grace and charity in the face of opposition. It all began with Ken’s gracious letter in response to Rosaria’s hostile newspaper article.
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
The tone of that letter, along with the warm friendship that followed, were the factors that God used to bring Rosaria to faith in Christ. And now as a wife and mother with a ministry to college students, she too faces hostility from an unbelieving world.
1, 2 & 3 John Don’t Be Surprised If the World Hates You
Sadly, too many believers respond to hostility with hostility in turn. But hate mail does not lead people to repentance. And it does not honor Christ. Rather, gracious forgiveness, love, and mercy are what our world needs in the face of its opposition to Jesus.
The ability to be kind and gracious as Ken and his wife Floy were to Rosaria, came because they understood the love of God
They were not guided by a shallow view of love that is self-serving, but by love so deep that it watched God bleed and die on a cross to reconcile us to himself
That type of love transforms the way we love and treat and care for even the most difficult of Christians among us
We all know “EGR” or “Extra Grace Required” people
We can all think of those people in church that drive us crazy, get under our skin quickly, or make us feel like we are banging our heads against the wall
Thankfully for me, God gave me that person in Cam, so none of you can be EGR compared to him lol
The New Testament is full of verses showing that loving each other was just as much a difficulty in the early church as it is for us today!
And that is why John reiterates this: Christian love is a verb, our actions do speak far louder than our words
Gospel = Laying Down our Lives (v.16-17)
And it makes sense, our basis for gospel love is none other than the one who showed it to us first, Jesus
Now if you notice, the call then is to lay down our lives, and there is a very real call to take that idea literally, like taking a bullet for someone
The trouble is that this does not stop at the grand idea of taking a bullet for someone or some other heroic action,
John doesn’t leave us that option, he says clearly in 1 John 3:17 “17 If anyone has this world’s goods and sees a fellow believer in need but withholds compassion from him—how does God’s love reside in him?”
If you remember last week and our discussion about how this world constantly tries to pull us away from God (2:15-17)
So John puts it here, if you have tons of worldly blessings and possessions, but you do not help your brother or sister in the church, how can you claim that you love God?
You are showing that you love the world more than you love Jesus, you are showing that your primary driving point is not love for Jesus, but love for your kingdom
In the words of John, you have the heart of Cain within you, and you are hating your brother or sister by allowing your love of things to overcome your love of family and Jesus
The cross is not just an example of love, it is the definition of love
It shows the extent and length that Jesus would go to save us!
The hard part I don’t think is the big, heroic things, deciding to take a bullet or a knife for someone you love in the church
The hard thing is humbling your ego,
The hard part is letting go of your ironclad grip over your dreams, your aspirations, your kingdom, your money, your things
We might never know the impact such sacrifice would have on a person
We know that God gives us all things, the breath we breathe, the money in our bank, the ability to keep a job to pay our bills, etc
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
I came across this story in one of my commentaries and I think it shows us the power of loving like Jesus, and the powerful nature it is!
Years ago a preacher noticed the family standing in front of him at a New Orleans convenience store did not have enough money to pay for their few items.
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
He tapped the man on the shoulder and said, “You don’t need to turn around, but please accept this money.” The man took the money without ever seeing the preacher.
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
Nine years later, the pastor was invited to speak at a church in New Orleans. After the service, a man walked up to the preacher and shared this story about how he had come to faith in Christ: “Several years ago, my wife and our child were destitute. We had lost everything, had no jobs, no money and were living in our car.
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
We also lost all hope, and agreed to a suicide pact, including our child. However, we decided to first give our son some food, so we drove to a convenience store to buy him some food and milk.
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
While we were standing in line at the store, we realized that we did not have enough money to pay for these items, but a man behind us asked us to please take the money from his hand and not look at him. This man told us that ‘Jesus loves you.’
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
We left the store, drove to our designated suicide site, and wept for hours. We couldn’t go through with it, so we drove away. As we drove, we noticed a church with a sign out front which said, ‘Jesus loves you.’ We went to that church the very next Sunday, and both my wife and I were saved that day.”
1, 2 & 3 John Sacrifice Is Love in Action
He then told the pastor, “When you began speaking this morning, I knew immediately that you were the man who gave us that money.” How did he know? The pastor was from South Africa and had a very distinct accent. He continued, “Your act of kindness was much more than a simple good deed. Three people are alive today because of it.”
What a powerful reminder that we can live out the anti-gospel, or the gospel to people, and how God can powerfully use our obedience to him!
There are thousands of stories of people sacrificing and loving like Jesus, and lives being transformed, and saved by it!
Because oftentimes, the issue we struggle with is not ‘hatred’ but ‘indifference’
There was a quote I came across this week, “The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference”
It is when we start ignoring, or explaining away why we should show sacrificial love to people, when God’s Spirit is prompting us to do so, that becomes problematic
Isn’t it interesting that often the people who are most giving, and most moved by suffering and need, are oft those who don’t have much to give!
I have found that it is the poor, the destitute, the struggling that are the quickest to take the cloak off their back to give it to you
That is certainly a time to consider and pause over isn’t it!
It is because they know, perhaps even better than most that this world is passing away
And because of that, they know that Love is a verb, and our actions speak louder than our words
Gospel = More than Words (v.18)
Finally, we come to verse 18, in which John removes any ambiguity from the charge, if we want to claim the gospel, we must have action and truth
When we zoom out, we have the book of James, one of the earliest written books of the New Testament, and we see that the challenges have not changed
James tells us this difficult truth, that John just outlined for us
15 If a brother or sister is without clothes and lacks daily food
16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, stay warm, and be well fed,” but you don’t give them what the body needs, what good is it?
If we treat our brothers and sisters like this, we are doing what Cain did to Abel, we are allowing our love for things to overcome our love for our family in Christ!
This is why love is a verb, it is shown by actions
James removes ambiguity just a few verses later, James 2:19 “19 You believe that God is one. Good! Even the demons believe—and they shudder.”
In essence, James and John are in total agreement!
Public claims or distant memories mean very little
Saying ‘I love Jesus’ means very little unless the rubber meets the road
Love is hard, love is difficult, love is sacrificial
Do you want to love like Abel, or love like Cain?
You have that choice, and opportunity, and if we are honest, we are almost always a mix of both!
So let’s run back to Jesus, and our church family and apologize, and start anew, following Jesus wholeheartedly, getting rid of all our sin!
You
You
The writers of the New Testament agree, that cheap words, empty faith, and hollow love are not fruit that the gospel bears in those who have met Jesus
Love is a verb, a costly, sacrificial, difficult verb.
So how are we to be disciples of Jesus, how can we show real love, as Jesus showed love to us?
When you are at home, just don’t say ‘I love you’, but prove it
Serve when you are tired, forgive when it’s hard, show patience when it would be easier to snap
Pick up the laundry that didn’t make it to the basket, or do the dishes for your sibling, even if it’s not your job
When at school and work, show love for the ostracized
Those who get mocked or excluded, even if it costs you some comfort or social capital
With your possessions, don’t simply thank God for them, but open your heart to giving them to people who have need!
If we won’t let go of our things, that shows a heart issue in our souls
Online this means not just liking and subscribing to Christian content, but how we treat people with kindness and care in the comments, particularly when they might be trolling us, or vehemently disagreeing with us
We have to remember the tell tale signs of love we are acting of
Ungospel love cost us nothing, accomplishes nothing, and seeks to keep us comfortable
Gospel love is costly. It will cost your time, ego, money, convenience, etc
So to help you with these ideas, here are two discernment questions to utilize
Who around me needs more than my words?
Who needs my actions?
What can I lay down today to show love to another?
Think about the categories of time, ego, money, convenience
You know, if you don’t know Jesus as your savior, as the one who bears your burdens and shows love to us when we were sinners before God, why not start that today?
Jesus laid down his life for you, so that you can lay down your life for others
Repentance, that is confessing our way of doing things is not working, and we apologize to Jesus for doing it our way, and running away from him, is not something to be wary of, but to rejoice in!
We
We
Love is costly, but it is worth it
Think about a church where people love, deeply, and richly, and vulnerable, showing deep love in word, and action and deed
Isn’t that a church you would want not just to bring your friends to, but drag your friends to so they could experience the love of Jesus?
Think about how different your friendships and families would be if this type of love was the default!
Where forgiveness and patience flowed as easily as snippy words
Where honesty and sacrifice replaced passive-aggressive conflict resolution
What would our online discussions look like if grace shouted louder than belittling sarcasm
Those people would be modeling what it looks like to love like Jesus does, and they would be showing off Jesus to the world
Because real, powerful, culture shaking love, is a verb, not merely empty words
When we started I spoke of my good friend Brad
You know if he called me tomorrow to want to reconcile, I’d do it in a heartbeat
Not because he deserves it, or because I am some ultra-pious saint, not because it erases the grief and pain it’s caused
No, because that would be what sacrificial, gospel love would look like
Laying down my pride, my ego, my hurt
So that I might offer love with no strings attached, because I still love him, and I still miss him
Isn’t that exactly how Jesus treats us?
When we sin, walk away, and Jesus doesn’t slam the door on our way out
He laid down his life so the door would always be open!
If we repent and return to him, that door will be open every single time!
Repentance is never something we need to be afraid of, because on the other side of it, is love that looks like Jesus
So remember: Love is verb!
This week, let us show it at home, with those at school and work, with our resources, even in the trivial social media post we engage with!
