When Silence Speaks

// RECAP INTRO

Lament is Worship

Lament is bringing our pain to God in worship

Lament is facing pain, sorrow, grief, injustice, suffering, sin & guilt, God’s seeming absence, processing the brokenness of creation, working through national crisis or grief.

Pray

Communal Lament

Define

When the whole community shares in grief before God.

Tension

It seems like our culture trains us to react to national crisis, but doesn’t teach us how to process through the grief.

“We’re trained to react in the moment of crisis, but not to endure the journey of mourning.”

“Our culture shows us how to make noise in crisis, but not how to make space for grief.”

Culture moves on quickly, but biblical faith teaches us to stay present in sorrow, patiently enduring the trial.

Romans 5:3–5 ESV

3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Paul shares his grief with the Corinthian church. He had continually suffered from a “thorn in his side” and says…

2 Corinthians 12:8–10 ESV

8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I want to look at Job’s story and see how one man’s sorrow was met by communal lament.

Job’s Story

Job 1 Summary

Job was a blameless and upright man from Uz, blessed with seven sons, three daughters, and immense wealth, including thousands of livestock and many servants. He regularly offered burnt offerings for his children, fearing they might have sinned. One day, Satan presented himself before the Lord, questioning Job's faithfulness, suggesting it was due to his blessings. The Lord allowed Satan to test Job, permitting him to take away Job's possessions but not harm him directly. Subsequently, Job received devastating news: raiders had stolen his livestock, and a great wind had killed his children during a feast. Despite his immense loss, Job mourned but worshiped God, acknowledging that he came into the world with nothing and would leave the same way. Throughout these trials, Job did not sin or blame God for his misfortunes.

Friends that “Are”

Job 2:11–13 ESV

11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. 12 And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. 13 And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

Sackcloth & Ashes

This was an ancient practice of wearing “poor mans” clothing, sitting in dirt and rubbing ashes on ones forehead.

It was a public sign that you were incredible low.

Job was in such a low place that even his closer friends didn’t recognize him.

Presence Over Words

Job’s friends don’t come and offer advice.

They raised their voices, wept, tore their robes, sprinkled ashes, and sat…

FOR SEVEN DAYS & NIGHTS!

Personal Silence

Miscarriages

“Before our boys were born, we walked through miscarriages — and one of them was especially painful. We had done the gender test, knew it was a girl, even announced it to our family. And then, days later, we lost the baby.

In that season, I had no words. No answers. Nothing I could say would comfort my wife. All I could do was be there. I remember those long nights, trading off quiet tears, sometimes barely sleeping. And I remember holding Merinda’s hand through the night — just a small touch that reminded each of us we weren’t alone in our pain.

That’s what lament looks like in community sometimes — not fixing, not explaining, but simply being present in the sorrow.”

Car Accident

“When we were youth pastors, I’ll never forget one night after a leader meeting. Things had wrapped up and I heard the fire station sirens, which wasn’t unusual. But minutes later I got a text — one of our youth leaders and their whole family had been in a car accident just around the corner.

I jumped in the car and went straight there. When I showed up, I didn’t have any words, I didn’t do anything heroic. I was just there.

A few days later, the wife told me how disoriented she’d been at the scene. She said, ‘But when I saw your face, I knew everything was going to be okay.’

Sometimes presence is the ministry. Just showing up can speak louder than anything we could ever say.”

I’ve witnessed the effects of “presence” in times of grief, sorrow, and pain.

I recognize the power of their silent presence with Job in those seven days.

Lessons from Communal Lament

There is shared suffering

Job’s friends showed up.

Many times we don’t have the words and don’t need the words; we just need to show up.

Proverbs 17:17 ESV

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Romans 12:15 ESV

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

Silent Presence > Words

Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV

7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.

Words can sometimes cheapen or complicate the grief process.

There have been times when I try and comfort and the words that come out downplay the grief of the person I’m speaking with.

Not my intention, but words are like toothpaste—once they’re out, it’s hard to get them back in.

Words can wound…

Job’s friends didn’t stay silent, they began to offer advice and this is Job’s review of said advice.

Job 16:2 ESV

2 “I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all.

It’s Okay to Ask for Silent Presence

Jesus asks for his disciples presence in the garden.

Matthew 26:36–38 ESV

36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.”

Jesus isn’t asking them for words or even prayers - he asks them to be present.

When he comes back and finds them asleep, he asks them again for presence, this time telling them to pray for themselves, that they not fall into temptation.

The wife that vents her problems to her husband, who responds with solutions that aren’t needed.

James 1:19 ESV

19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

God’s Presence Over God’s Word

As we looked at Elijah last week, we saw that God’s presence was near Elijah more than he realized.

If we truly understood the value of God’s presence in our lives, our calendars might look a little different.

One promise we can stand on in times of heartbreak is the presence of God.

Psalm 34:15–22 ESV

15 The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. 16 The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. 20 He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. 21 Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 22 The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

True friends don’t vanish in lament; they carry the sorrow together.

Power of Silent Presence

Don’t try to fix grief, just be there.

We don’t need another social media post that comes and goes as reaction to the grief in our world.

What made Jesus revolutionary was that he went to those that were in pain and was present.

It says that Jesus saw them and had compassion on them.

He was present.

Does your heart break for communal distress? 

Move beyond quick reactions to lasting compassion.

Conclusion

Communal lament is not weakness — it’s worship.

It reminds us we are not alone and that God has not abandoned us.

When words fail, presence speaks.

When communities lament together, they posture themselves for God’s healing and revival.

Communal Lament Led to Communal Restoration (Job 42)

Job acknowledges God's omnipotence and admits his lack of understanding, leading him to repent. God rebukes Job's friends for misrepresenting Him and instructs them to offer sacrifices, with Job praying for their forgiveness. Following this, God restores Job's fortunes, giving him double what he had before. Job is reunited with his family, who comfort him, and he receives gifts from them. He is blessed with abundant livestock and beautiful daughters, ensuring their inheritance. Job lives for 140 more years, witnessing multiple generations before dying contentedly.