The Foundation

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The title of my series is called “Rated R” for relationships. let me start off by saying that this is not your typical relationship series. but this is a series that will help you grow and develop in the faith. Why is this important? well let me give you stastics first.

The Case for Relationships

“We live in a world where grades, résumés, and achievements are celebrated—but the truth is, statistics tell us that what shapes your future more than anything else… are your relationships.”

For your Mental Health:

44% of young adults ages 18–25 report feeling like they don’t matter to anyone, and 34% struggle with loneliness that directly impacts their mental health (Harvard GSE).

Studies show that supportive friendships and romantic ties increase self-esteem and resilience while reducing depression and anxiety (Open Psychology Journal).

Growth & Grades:

Students who lack supportive relationships are twice as likely to drop out, while those connected to mentors and peers are significantly more likely to graduate (NSLS).

Research shows that your social network predicts your academic performance more than your personality or even your study habits (arxiv.org).

Jobs & Careers:

60–70% of jobs are found through networking—through who you know, not just what you know (TopResume, UMBC Careers).

Referral candidates make up only 5% of applicants but 30% of hires (WSJ).

And get this—long-term studies show that each additional close friend in adolescence can increase adult earnings by 7–14% (arxiv.org).

“So here’s the reality: Relationships aren’t just about love, drama, or who you text at midnight. Relationships are about your mental health, your growth, and your future. That’s why Proverbs says: ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another’ (Prov. 27:17). In other words—your life will be sharpened, shaped, or shattered by the people you walk with.”

What are Relationships?

A relationship is ANY connection between two people, which can either be positive or negative.

This is not just a study of Romantic Relationships. NOOO I want to give practical principles on ALL relationships.

According to “Very Well.com” there are 6 different types of relationships.

Platonic- close friendships WITHOUT SEX.

Romantic- Involves Romance, Infatuation, and intensity

Codependent- unbalanced/dysfunctional relationship, Relies on others to take care of them.

Casual-One Night Stands, Booty Calls, Sex buddies, Friends with Benefits

Toxic-any type of relationships that emotional, physical, or psychological well being are threatened.

Intimate- closely aquatinted regular communication, purpose

I want to say this and you will hear me say this all the time. We are doing relationships, because this is what I’ve leared “Your success, or the lack there of, is closely connect to your circle” If I see your circle, I can tell you what you’re going to be. Perfect, let’s lay a Biblical foundation for the types of relationships and then break them down with your 3-part framework. Since you’d like to keep the same scripture running through all three, we’ll use one that is broad, relational, and applicable to friendships, romantic ties, and community:

👉 Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This text works across purpose, sustainability, and growth — while pointing ultimately to God as the “third strand.

Theological Anchor

God designed relationships this way because His nature is relational. Before creation, God existed in perfect fellowship: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Humanity, made in His image, is created to reflect this relational nature.

Creation: Genesis 1:26 — “Let us make man in our image.”

Community: Acts 2:42–47 — The early church devoted themselves to fellowship, breaking bread, and prayer.

Christ: John 17:21 — Jesus prayed, “that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you.”

Traditionally, King Solomon is understood as the author (called Qoheleth, “the Teacher/Preacher”). He wrote from the perspective of someone who had experienced wealth, wisdom, pleasure, and power, yet found life “vanity” apart from God.

Solomon (Qoheleth) was writing to the people of Israel, but more broadly to anyone searching for meaning “under the sun.” His reflections are universal—about work, wealth, relationships, and the purpose of life.

Audience

This section highlights the value of companionship in a world full of struggle and futility. The purpose is:

Help in weakness → “If they fall, one will lift up his fellow.”

Comfort in coldness → Companionship provides warmth.

Protection in danger → “Two can withstand” an adversary.

Strength in unity → A “cord of three strands” (often understood as God being the third) is not quickly broken.

In short: God never designed us to do life alone. Relationships are His remedy for isolation and vulnerability.

The Author: Solomon, the wisest man, reflecting at the end of his life.

The Audience: People searching for meaning, just like young adults/college students today.

The Purpose: To show that life apart from God and others is empty, but with God and community, it is meaningful.

Framework for the Sermon ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 ESV

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

1. Relationships Are Built for God’s Purpose

Text: Ecclesiastes 4:9 — “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.”

Principle: God creates relationships for collaboration, productivity, and fruitfulness.

Background: In ancient Israel, workers often traveled in pairs—one to labor, one to guard. Their combined efforts produced greater reward.

Application: Relationships are not simply for pleasure; they are for purpose. God connects us to others so we can multiply impact, share burdens, and accomplish more for His Kingdom.

Other Scriptures:

Genesis 2:18 — “It is not good for man to be alone.”

Mark 6:7 — Jesus sent the disciples two by two.

2. Relationships Are Sustained Through Presence

Text: Ecclesiastes 4:10 — “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

Principle: Presence, not convenience, sustains relationships.

Background: In ancient times, walking through deserts and mountains was dangerous. Falling alone could mean death. Having someone present meant survival.

Application: Real relationships are measured not by words, but by presence—by showing up, standing with someone in struggle, and being consistent in support.

Other Scriptures:

Proverbs 17:17 — “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

John 11:35 — Jesus wept with Mary and Martha, showing presence before power.

3. Relationships Grow Through Partnership

Text: Ecclesiastes 4:12 — “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Principle: True growth requires divine partnership. Two people may survive, but when God is in the midst, the relationship thrives.

Background: Ropes in Solomon’s time were woven with three strands to increase strength and durability. The image points to God as the unbreakable strand that holds human relationships together.

Application: Friendships, marriages, and partnerships grow when they are Christ-centered. God binds hearts together and makes them strong against pressure.

Other Scriptures:

Matthew 18:20 — “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them.”

John 15:5 — “Apart from me you can do nothing.”