The Goal Of Parenting

Psalm 127 ESV

A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. 1 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

While this Psalm can be applied to a nation-state and a church, its truths also apply to our individual households.

Let’s be honest, parenting can be difficult and overwhelming.

Our culture provides a bunch of rules and philosophies for what you must do and not do with your kids, and it is pretty much opposite of whatever the generation before us taught.

You could spend all of your time trying to figure out what rules and philosophies to follow.

Add to that the difficulty that we don’t just parent in private, but we parent in public, in front of other sinners who may be tempted to judge our parenting.

We need a much more sturdy foundation than parenting blogs and public opinion.

What you and I need is the very thing we are called to raise up our children in: the fear and admonition of the Lord.

For when we fear the Lord and desire to follow His way, He is the only one that matters when it comes to our parenting.

And here is the good news of this passage:

1. God Is Sovereignly In Control Of Your Household and Each Member Of It

In other words, you as a parent cannot mess up God’s sovereign plan and control over your spouse or your children.

You do not have to be in fear of failure or having to do everything perfectly in parenting - you won’t.

Whatever you build into your children will be just as imperfect as you are.

But here is the good news, when it comes to parenting just like it comes to all of life - God is the master builder, not us.

God builds into our children, labors over our children, and always stays awake watching over our children in ways we never could.

When verse 2 says that it is in vain to rise up early and go to bed late eating the bread of anxious toil,

He doesn’t mean that parenting isn’t hard work.

He means that if you think you have to parent like you are the master builder and the end all be all for who your child will become, you will run yourself ragged for no good purpose, for it is the Lord alone who builds the house.

So, here is the first and greatest principle of parenting you must learn and cultivate above all else.

It’s going to sound so simple, but I’m telling you, it is going to be a challenge the rest of your life, but it is a joyful challenge.

Here it is: if you hear nothing else in this whole class hear this, the first and greatest principle of parenting is you must trust God like a child.

And as soon as you learn to trust Him in one area, you will find a new parenting challenge where you must learn to trust him in another area.

The most important thing your child needs from you today and every day after this is for you to cultivate a growing trust in God.

The end of verse 2 has to be one of my favorite phrases in all of the Scripture: for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Doesn’t God know us so well.

I cannot think of any better reward you could give a parent with a full heart and a full life than the reward of sleep.

Will you think with me about sleep for a moment?

I’m sure you are glad to.

Sleeping is the most humble, surrendered, and vulnerable thing that we as humans do, and we have to do it over and over again.

And sometimes as a parent, you just feel like you can’t sleep, there is so much responsibility and so much weight and so much to attend to - but because God is the master builder, not you, because God is sovereignly in control and not you, you can trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.

Fear Him more than you fear tomorrow.

And sleep.

2. Children Are An Inheritance From The Lord

When it comes to thinking about the riches of your life, the greatest and most precious things you possess, God’s word would give us these in order:

The inheritance of our salvation in Jesus Christ,

if you are married, your spouse and marriage,

Then, your children.

Those are the biblically non-negotiable top 3 in that order.

One of the greatest ways that Christians are different than the world around us is how highly we honor God, how highly we honor marriage, and how highly we honor parents, parenting, and the family.

The world is not going to applaud you for honoring these things.

But, God is pleased to honor those who love what He loves, and He loves the souls of people, which are eternal.

Because children are a heritage from the Lord, they are worth investing in.

Because children are a heritage from the Lord, they are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that we are to honor our children the way that they are called to honor us,

But I do mean, we treat them as little image bearers made in the image of God.

We value them, spend time to teach and train them, we don’t treat them as animals or idiots.

Yet, like we heard in the video last week, we also do not worship our children, but instead, we live the proper priorities of God, marriage, then children.

3. Children Are Meant To Be Launched Into The World In Order To Help Fulfill God’s Mission

Verses 4-5

It may seem difficult to identify with why in the world it would be a good thing for your children to be like arrows in the hands of a warrior.

But the reality is: we are all on a mission and in the midst of a spiritual battle that is more real and more important than the flesh and blood difficulties you face on a daily basis.

Ephesians 6:12 ESV

12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

So, as a Christian, you are on a mission to put sin to death in order to live a godly life to the glory of God by the power of the Holy Spirit.

And your marriage helps you accomplish growing in godliness because marriage is not first about your happiness, it is about your holiness.

Then, your parenting is meant for the same purpose: to grow you in godliness so that you can grow them to be launched out into the world with the goal of knowing and loving Jesus and glorifying God with their lives.

Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Those who have children don’t only train them up, but we are trained in godliness by being a parent if we are submitted to Christ, and godliness is all about overcoming the enemy for greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.