The Heart of Forgiveness.

Introduction

This past week, our nation witnessed another moment of deep grief and division. Charlie Kirk — a young husband, father, and outspoken public figure — was shot and killed while speaking to students at Utah Valley University. In the hours that followed, the headlines weren’t just about the tragedy itself, but about the words people chose in response. Some offered comfort and prayer. Others, tragically, used the moment to score points or to wound further.

Moments like this remind us that in a fallen world, wrongs will be done — sometimes grievously, sometimes publicly.

And when they are, the human heart is quick to reach for retaliation, to rehearse the hurt, to return evil for evil.

But for those who belong to Christ, there is better way.

We are called to be gracious and forgiving, even when wronged severely.

That doesn’t mean pretending the wrong never happened.

It doesn’t mean excusing evil.

It means choosing, by God’s grace, to respond in a way that reflects His heart — the God who forgives rebels, reconciles enemies, and overcomes evil with good.

Genesis 43 offers a window into that tension because we see Joseph — a man who had every earthly reason to retaliate against his brothers, chooses not to.

We see God shaping him into a man who could extend grace.

Instead of vengeance, he moved toward them with costly grace—seating them at his table, feeding them, honoring them—even before reconciliation was complete.

His actions didn’t erase the wrong. But they revealed a heart already shaped by grace.

And in Joseph’s story, we find a pattern for our own: how God shapes His people to have forgiving hearts.

God’s grace is powerful enough to move the most wounded of hearts toward forgiveness.

Main Point: God Shapes His People To Have Forgiving Hearts.

How do we respond when wrong is done, when trust is shattered, when the wound is still fresh?

Let’s first see how God works to shape our hearts and then lets consider how we can show we’ve been impacted by God’s grace.

God’s Work in Shaping Forgiving Hearts (Gen 43)

The “how” God works.

The story of Joseph begins back in Genesis 37 when Joseph was a teenager.

His father, Jacob, spoiled him with favoritism.

His brothers hated him for it, and when they had their chance, they sold him to a caravan of traders heading to Egypt, and then deceived their dad into thinking he’d been mauled by an animal.

Even though things seemed to go from bad to worse for Joseph we read in Genesis 39:2 “The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man...

That’s the key verse in the story.

The key to Joseph is God.

Eventually, God executed His sovereign plan, and promoted Joseph to the number two position in Egypt, next to Pharoah.

Why?

To prepare the world for a coming famine.

And to prepare a family for a dramatic reunion.

There are four scenes to this next chapter of the story that show God working to shape the hearts of this family.

Persistent Problem (vv. 1–2)

The famine was still severe.

The grain from their first trip to Egypt was gone.

The time gap between 42:38 and 43:1 is unstated, but by 45:6 we know up to two years had passed since the famine began.

Jacob says, “Go back and buy us a little food.”

Easier said than done — their last encounter in Egypt ended with Simeon in custody and a demand to bring Benjamin.

Exegetical Note: The famine is not just a backdrop; it’s a God-ordained pressure point.

This family was not fully reconciled yet, and God was moving His plan forward to make that happen.

God also had to get his people to Egypt to set up their captivity... so He could show them how much He loved them...the Exodus is the capstone event in the OT...God’s claim on the nation.

This is a reminder that God is sovereign over the affairs of man to keep His redemptive plan moving forward.

This week’s events expose the depth of human sin, yet they never caught God by surprise.

Even the darkest acts cannot derail His redemptive plan, we may not see it now, but we know God’s grace and plans are woven into it for His glory and our ultimate good.

Pledge of Protection (3–10)

Judah reminds Jacob: Genesis 43:3 “Judah spoke to him, however, saying, “The man solemnly warned us, ‘You shall not see my face unless your brother is with you.’”

Jacob resists, blaming his sons for revealing Benjamin’s existence. They defend themselves: “We had no way of knowing.”

Then Judah steps forward: Genesis 43:9 ““I myself will be surety for him; you may hold me responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame before you forever.”

Exegetical Note:

Surety means “to pledge, to exchange, to take responsibility for another.”

Twenty-five years earlier, Judah proposed selling Joseph (37:26–27).

Now he offers himself in Benjamin’s place — grace is working...a striking reversal in his character.

From this point forward, Judah becomes the leader of the brothers instead of Reuben.

Contrast that with Reuben’s earlier offer (42:37) — “Kill my two sons” — was reckless and impersonal.

Judah’s is personal and costly.

Do we all remember the significance of Judah?

He is son number 4...the leadership role should have been Reuben’s, but he blew it...

Then the next two in line were Simeon and Levi, but they blew it too.

Judah is the next in line and what God does through Judah is remarkable...

Eighteen centuries later, a descendant of Judah would enter the world as a "surety," a "pledge," a "token."

He would indeed bear the blame.

He of course was the Lion of Judah, Jesus the Messiah.

But there's a big difference.

Judah made a promise he couldn't fulfill.

Judah told his dad, "I'll take the blame."

But how could he?

There were too many factors out of his control.

Christ Connection:

Judah’s pledge anticipates the greater Son of Judah — Jesus, the Lion of Judah — who became our surety…

There were no factors outside of Jesus’ control.

Jesus made a pledge He could keep and He did.

Hebrews 7:22 “so much the more also Jesus has become the guarantee of a better covenant.”

He bore our blame … 1 Peter 2:24 “and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.”

Listen to what Jesus pledged from John 10...

John 10:11 ““I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.”

John 10:15 “even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.”

John 10:18 ““No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.””

He fulfilled every part of His pledge!

Pastoral Bridge: What we see God do in Judah is what God can do for us...hearts shaped by God’s grace towards forgiveness turn from being self-preserving sinners into self-sacrificing servants.

Prayer with Parting (vv. 11–14)

Jacob concedes: he knew there was no other choice.

Take gifts — the best products of the land (balm, honey, spices, myrrh, pistachios, almonds).

Jacob hoped that all these gifts would buy favorable treatment in Egypt.

Take double the money — perhaps the returned silver was a mistake.

Take Benjamin — the costliest concession.

What is the significance of the name change?

Moses calls him “Israel” here (vv. 6, 11)

The name “Israel” means “God strives” or “He who wrestles with God”...Gen 32:28.

We don’t know for certain but perhaps it is to signal the tension in his heart between Jacob the deceiver and Israel the covenant heir.

Despite the challenging circumstances, Jacob is showing signs of God’s work in his life.

He begins to trust God more however reluctantly.

Jacob prays: Genesis 43:14 “and may God Almighty grant you compassion in the sight of the man, so that he will release to you your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.””

This is the covenant name God used with Abraham (17:1), signifying His all-sufficient power to keep His promises.

Yet Jacob ends with, “If I am bereaved, I am bereaved” — a fatalistic tone revealing his fear.

Again, we see the tension within his heart...

He wasn’t sure if God was going to act in his favor but he surrendered to his understanding that God was in control.

He’s not completely there yet, but we see him moving in the right direction...

He started to cling to the unchanging character of the God who makes and keeps His promises.

So must we.

This is the key to joy in life.

Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

Pastoral Bridge: Even the faithful wrestle with trust. God uses these moments to pry our grip off our fears and place it back on His promises.

Perplexed by Provision (vv. 15–34)

Last week, we talked about the brothers’ guilt.

We saw in Genesis 42 how Joseph tried to help his brothers come to grips with their sin and its consequent guilt.

They'd been playing coverup for more than two decades and perhaps thought they were succeeding.

But in a mysterious turn of events, they started feeling the pressure of God's hand.

And the guilt feelings began to return.

And that’s a good thing, because guilt is a gift from God that tells us we got off track and need to do a 180.

The brothers return to Egypt.

Joseph sees Benjamin and orders a meal prepared, a sign that grace and forgiveness were at work

Instead of relief, they panic: Genesis 43:18 “Now the men were afraid, because they were brought to Joseph’s house; and they said, “It is because of the money that was returned in our sacks the first time that we are being brought in, that he may seek occasion against us and fall upon us, and take us for slaves with our donkeys.””

Why are they afraid?

Because of the sin they had committed twenty-five years before.

They are paranoid.

That’s what unconfessed sin does to a person.

Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion.”

The brothers thought Joseph was going to ambush them.

So they took the defensive posture.

Their guilt distorted their view of blessing!

Interesting how they tried to explain their predicament to Joseph's assistant.

They rehearsed the situation as they saw it.

Notice the Egyptian servant’s response in verse 23...

Genesis 43:23 “He said, “Be at ease, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has given you treasure in your sacks; I had your money.” Then he brought Simeon out to them.”

Let’s stop for a moment and think about this...

The brothers know and belong to the true and living God, but they looked at their problem from a totally horizontal perspective.

This polytheistic Egyptian is the first person to suggest that maybe God had a part in their predicament.

The brothers could not comprehend grace.

They thought Joseph's gracious offer was too good to be true.

And they are not alone.

Many today try to earn what God offers freely.

Perhaps in this room.

Have you ever received God’s offer of forgiveness through Jesus Christ?

“Oh, I'm interested, but I've got to straighten things up in my life first.”

God says His forgiveness is a gift. You can't earn it.

You can't buy it. You can't barter with Him for it.

Just acknowledge your need for His forgiveness, and ask Him for it, realizing Christ alone makes it possible.

The brothers discovered their fears were unfounded in verses 26-28.

There’s yet another fulfillment of Joseph’s dream back in chapter 37.

In fact, the brothers bowed down twice.

Verses 29-31 are heart-gripping.

Again we see Joseph weeping.

Again foreshadowing another who would weep, Man of sorrows, what a name, for the Son of God who came; ruined sinners to reclaim, Hallelujah! What a Savior!

vv. 32-34. Joseph has a little fun with them in what follows.

He orchestrates a seating arrangement that plays with their minds.

Just think about all the possible combinations of how they should sit...yet Joseph specifically places them in birth order...

They marvel at the seating arrangement — how would this guy know all this?

and Benjamin’s portion is five times larger.

Joseph is testing them again, but also showing favor.

How will they respond to the favoritism shown?

They of course have no idea who the powerful host is. But he knows them.

And as a reflection of his God, he’s showing grace and pursuing forgiveness with them.

God has so shaped Joseph’s heart that when the moment comes, he seeks reconciliation, not revenge.

Christ Connection:

Like Joseph, Jesus knows us fully, yet moves toward us with mercy, inviting us to His table.

Forgiveness flows from the One who has forgiven us.

Our Walk in Showing Forgiveness

The significance — the “so what” for us

This story isn’t simply about Joseph or his brothers. It’s about God — the ultimate pursuer of forgiveness.

In Genesis 43, we see Him working to reconcile twelve estranged brothers.

But His plan is bigger: through this family, He will form a nation, and through that nation, He will send His Messiah into the world.

Jesus, the greater Joseph, will go to the cross as the atoning sacrifice sufficient to reconcile condemned sinners to God.

Two Practical Insights on Pursuing Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness Involves More Than Words

Look again at Joseph's actions.

What did he do for the brothers that had hurt him so badly?

He invited them to his house (16).

He returned Simeon (23).

He allowed the dusty travelers to wash their feet, and even fed their animals (24).

He invited them to eat with him (25, 31).

He talked with them and took an interest in "their welfare" (27).

He let them enjoy time with him (34).

Grace and forgiveness involved more than empty talk for Joseph.

He took concrete and helpful steps to meet the needs of the ones who had hurt him.

The person with a heart of forgiveness does not say, “Well I forgave him in my heart. Now I just hope he stays out of my life!”

No they do their part to make the relationship stronger...

They recognize the responsibility they have from Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

Joseph never forgot what his brothers had done to him, but he purposed to put God on display by his kind actions.

At the end of the story (Gen 50:17–21), after Jacob’s death, Joseph again reassures his brothers, weeping and speaking peace.

Having a heart of forgiveness involves more than words.

It did for Joseph.

It does for God.

God’s display of grace and forgiveness involved costly action.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son…” John 3:16.

“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Rom 5:8.

“Father, forgive them…” Luke  23:34 (while He was hanging on the cross.

If you’ve sinned against someone, repent, go, and ask for forgiveness.

If you’ve been sinned against, resolve to treat that person as the Lord has treated you

Ephesians 4:32 NASB95

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Remember there is no sin committed against us that is greater than our own sin against Christ.

When we choose to hold grudges, harbor bitterness, and withhold grace from others, we have taken God’s costly grace, and cheapened it!

That brings us to a second, related insight.

2. Forgiveness Overcomes Evil with Good

That’s the language of Romans 12, (turn there) which tells us how we must respond if we have experienced God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Rom 12 calls forgiven people to live out that forgiveness:

“Bless those who persecute you” (v. 14)

“Never pay back evil for evil” (v. 17)

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him…” (v. 20)

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (v. 21)

This is not natural, — it’s supernatural.

It’s a work of the Holy Spirit in us...

It’s the overflow of truly understanding what we have received from God and His mercy in Christ.

Life Lesson: Forgiveness received is worth giving away.

Accept it thankfully — None of us can earn it; God gives it freely in Christ.

Share it joyfully — No one can sin against us more than we have sinned against Christ. Therefore, be generous with grace and acts of forgiveness.

Final thoughts:

We began this morning remembering the shocking events of this week — the shooting death of Charlie Kirk.

In the days since, the headlines have been filled with grief, anger, and calls for justice.

But they’ve also revealed something else: how quickly our culture reaches for vengeance, how easily we dehumanize those we disagree with, and how rare it is to see grace in the public square.

That’s why Joseph’s story matters so much right now.

He had every reason to retaliate.

He had the power to do it.

But God had shaped his heart for something better — to forgive, to reconcile, to overcome evil with good.

And that’s the same shaping work God wants to do in us.

In a world where political violence, personal betrayal, and deep wounds are real, the people of God are called to be different.

We are called to be living demonstrations of the gospel — to show the difference a relationship with Jesus makes...

to take concrete steps toward those who have wronged us,

to act in ways that reflect the mercy we’ve received in Christ.

We can’t control the headlines.

We can’t undo the evil that’s been done.

But we can choose, by the Spirit’s power, to respond in a way that makes the watching world say, “That’s not normal… that’s Jesus.”

When we understand the depth of grace that provides us with forgiveness, we joyfully share that same grace and forgiveness by giving it away!

When we do that, we show a divided, hurting world that there is a better way — the way of the cross.