God > Our Hearts

ME

Sometimes the loudest voice of doubt in my life isn’t out there, it’s in here

I’ve known Jesus for 31 years, and particularly when I was younger, I used to really despise saying “I Love God”

Not because I didn’t, but because I knew how much of my heart still resisted

Because of this, one of my favorite characters in all of Scripture is the unnamed Father in Mark 9, who has a son that is demon possessed, and the disciples could not help

So Jesus comes down from the Mountain of Transfiguration, and this man says to Jesus, ‘if you can do anything’

Jesus says, ‘Everything is possible for the one who believes’

The father responds, “I do believe help my unbelief!”

That is what I have resonated with, something of yes, I believe, but I struggle

I want to believe, I want to love, I want to follow, but I know my heart and the wickedness which dwells within

Cam’s death has brought similar struggles to the surface for me

One of the things that grief does is that it strips the excess from your heart, mind and soul

Things that you might not have considered before, or simply excused are brought to the forefront, they can’t be ignored anymore

One of those things for me is self-loathing or hatred, whatever you might want to call it

My default for as long as I can remember is thinking, how do I improve,

The positives barely register compared to what I need to fix

So part of losing the excess of my soul in this period of grief has been God bringing this up to me to work on, through my wife,

And as much as I am skeptical and don’t want to admit it, living that way in ministry is not going to help me become the leader that God wants, nor help guide the church the way I think God would have

One of the books I’ve been reading recently is called “The Secret Place of Thunder: Trading Our Need to Be Noticed for a Hidden Life with Christ”

This book has really been wrecking me with reckoning through grief and character formation, and here are a few quotes I think have been most convicting and helpful in my journey from grief

“We’ve spent years in a performative world, often unconsciously formed by its promises and seductive visions of the good life. Just as it is with gold, so we need fire to removed our compromises. God can use any kind of pain and trouble, but it’s the pain of the loss we feel when resisting the world’s promises and remaining with Christ that is often the most purifying”

So when we come face to face with what we must do, and how we fall short, we can often turn the knife towards ourselves, and I do that relentlessly, you will rarely see me get mad at Tabitha or someone else

But in the words of my wife, she sees this side of me, and says, why do you get mad at yourself for being human, for making simple blunders or forgetting things

The book has some of the most powerful words so far for me on this:

“Many of us are not comfortable bringing all the unsavory and performative parts of our lives to the surface for Christ to heal because we lack grace for ourselves. We’ve come to dislike who we’ve become, which is part of the reason we live performative lives. This is the true darkness of a performative society- self-hatred. We rarely give grace to those we hate”

I felt called out. I don’t like who I am, I don’t like the parts of me that love sin more than Jesus, and that has for a long time led to self-hatred of myself

But thankfully there’s hope here, and these words have been profound to me as I try to rewire my brain and habits to be more in line with how God desires me to see and treat myself

“Consider giving yourself some grace. Now before you write this portion off as just some positive-thinking reinforcement, please consider that Jesus welcomed sinners. He dined with prostitutes and tax collectors before their lives were reformed, not after. If Jesus welcomed sinners, how can you do less? We must welcome the unwelcome parts of ourselves in order to experience the power and healing of Christ”

It was that idea, that when I decide that I am going to hate or discipline some part of me to change, I’m not really doing anything, I’m only creating a bigger mess to clean up later

In reality, I’m doing the same thing that many people do

It is the same thinking of ‘I’ll come to church when I get my life together a little bit more”

The difference is I’m just doing it while at church, and I’m spiritualizing why I can do it on my own, because I’m striving to show God, “See, I got it under control, I’m following you really well!”

Friends, I’ve missed the point, I’ve missed the abiding

Jesus isn’t waiting for me to fix the patchwork of my life, he wants to come in and rebuild it with me

It’s the presence of Jesus that transformed the tax collectors, prostitutes and sinners, why would it be any different for us?

There is another quote from that book that is so beautiful in its imagery,

“The mercy of God does not come to us in a flood that sweeps us off our feet, but in drops steady enough to soften the hardest ground”

What it really means, is I’m still learning to apply the gospel some 3 decades into following Jesus

My heart, my conscience is not the final word, it is not the final statement

Maybe you’ve been there, wondering should you even be saying “I Love Jesus!” when you have things in your life you are not proud of, or trying to get your life together before you come to Jesus and ask for help

WE

I think that voice is common within many of us, particularly as we base so much of who we are and what we are worth on performance

That nagging self-doubt from ourselves, or parents, or friends, or even Satan and his minions

“You’re not good enough”

“You failed and messed up again”

“If you can’t even do ______, maybe you are not even saved!”

Our culture is full of shallow assurance and cheap love, yet thankfully Jesus is different

Puritan pastor Richard Sibbes wrote these beautiful words,

“There is more mercy in Christ, than sin in us”

So the question is, how can we quiet the troubled heart, without faking it, or lowering the bar of living faithfully to God?

GOD

God’s verdict > Our Condemning Consciences (v.19-20)

John opens right away, this is how we will know if we are apart of the truth and convince our consciences in God’s presence

Even if our conscience condemns us, God is greater than our conscience and He knows all things

What John wants us to remember is that it is not up to us, it is not based on our feelings, it is not based even on our logical understanding

No what John is saying is that God knows all things, and that means that God knows us better than we know ourselves

When I was in high school, I remember feeling like such a failure as a Christian, it was like the longer I followed Jesus, the more dirt and sin I was finding in my life

I went to my youth pastor and told him this, and he told me something incredibly helpful, “The reason you feel like there is more sin is not because you are doing more bad things, but rather those things have likely been there a long time, but you are becoming more like Jesus, and more holy, and so sin is becoming more noticeable to you now”

In reality, those of us who are striving to walk in obedience to Jesus to the best of our ability, have hearts that are tender, and those consciences want to love Jesus more than sin

So we become more sensitive to the things that God hates, but what we can forget, our faith is not based on our consciences

One commentary put it beautifully, “Our heart often condemns us falsely, while God who knows all things, acquits us truly.”

The good news is that this is not purely a modern struggle, after all, why would John write this, under direction from the Spirit, in the first century?

The puritans have written some of the richest theological works in the history of the church, and John Donne wrote these incredible words

I throw myself down at Thy feet, unworthy to stand, yet my heart tells me Thou art greater than my heart

We know that our hearts, our emotions, our consciences are not fully able to know all of us, or the world, so how could they know all of God?

This is why Scripture is so powerful, and helpful and life-giving to us, it helps corrects our wrong thinking, and certainly correct incorrect feelings

Romans 8:33–34 “33 Who can bring an accusation against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies. 34 Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is the one who died, but even more, has been raised; he also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us.”

There is one other point that we should consider from these verses, and that is sometimes when our consciences are unsettled, it is not just an us thing, but we turn it outward

We start judging brothers and sisters that are doing things, we feel convicted by, and have the freedom to do so

Paul speaks to that in Romans 14 and Colossians 2, but the underlying idea is the same, our conscience is not the final judge, God is

So even if our consciences are messy, even if we feel unworthy, even if we think we don’t deserve to be before God, those things don’t really matter

If we are striving to follow God, to the best of our ability, well then obedience silences the inner critic

God’s Verdict > Our Clean Consciences (v.21-22)

John then continues, but he speaks to the other side, if your conscience is clean, what do you do?

John says you should have confidence before God, and come and prayerfully ask for what we need

Because we are living in obedience, and striving to please Jesus!

The word here translated confidence, is one of entering boldly

Yet, there are different types of boldness, there is a confidence of a jerk strutting into the room like he owns the place

There is confidence of an attorney approaching the judge, as they have prepared their case well

Yet, this is a relational boldness, and since just a few verses earlier, John calls us children of God, that is the type of boldness

It’s like this picture, JFK in the oval office, the president of the US, and his son is just sneaking in and playing under his desk!

No one can simply waltz in to the Oval Office, yet JFK Jr did so with unabandoned boldness, because of the relationship, it’s his dad!

That is the type of confidence that we have to enter into God’s presence with prayers and petitions!

Hebrews 4:16 “16 Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.”

When we pray, it’s not that God has to answer us, the same as JFK didn’t have to give-in to the demands of JFK Jr,

The reason we pray is to help us remember to bring God into our daily lives, ask him to help us patch up our messes

The church father Aquinas said this about prayer:

God does not always give us what we ask, but what we would ask if we knew what He knows

So how to we get to a place of confidence, particularly if you struggle with the conscience that likes to condemn?

This is done by slow, and methodical obedience

One quote I read this week said it this way

Confidence grows not from burst of holiness, but by a steady habit of obedience

When we make a habit of striving for obedience, it softens our hearts, and turns our love towards God’s heart

Then it allows it to become a powerful synergistic tool, our prayers become more bold and inline with what God wants, and so we see more prayers answered in the way we prayed!

That then deepens our relationship with God, grows our confidence, and leads to even more prayer!

That is because when we have obedient love, and it deepens our conversations with God!

God’s Verdict = Belief and Love (v.23)

Of course the most natural question for us, is what does obedience look like, what does it entail?

John says it is one command found in two ways

To believe in the name of Jesus, and to love each other as Jesus commanded

So if you believe in Jesus, and seek your best to love the people of God, then you are walking in obedience!

These are two sides of the same coin

Faith in Christ is the root of our faith and obedience

Love for the brothers is the fruit of our faith and obedience

One commentator said it this way

Faith without love is not true faith, love without faith is not Christian love

Perhaps one of the most powerful stories of this would be the story of John Harper

John Harper was a recent widow at 39, and a Scottish pastor who was on his way to Chicago to become the next pastor at what we now call Moody Church

He was traveling with his sister and his 6 year old daughter on the Titanic when that momentous iceberg collision occurred

When the collision occurred he swiftly got his daughter and sister into the lifeboats, then returned to minister to those left

He stood admist the chaos and many were deeply moved by his call to have women and children and the unsaved aboard the boats, when selfish self-preservation was running the show

In fact, many said that his example of calm and self-sacrifice admist the tragedy is what they remembered most

As the waters rose, Harper swam from person to person, pleading that they believe upon the Lord Jesus, and so be saved

One young man refused his call, and so Harper took off his life-jacket and told the man that he needed it more than he did

A little later, clinging to wreckage, Harper asked another man, are you saved?

The man said no

Harper responded with, believe upon the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved, and slipped under the water

That man later testified in an Ontario church, that he was John Harper’s last convert

That is a powerful example of living out the reality of eternal life, and belief and love when death is closing in

We’ve already spoke of how difficult it can be to love, because it is costly

Yet, you and I are called to obedience, and obedience is often costly

We are quick to condemn others and how they live, because we feel pricked by their freedom, or our own sin in a similar area

Yet, we are to live in freedom with each other, not getting into conflicts over small trivial things

Both John the Apostle and John Harper really force us to reckon with the idea, that obedient love is the proof of true faith

Obedient love does not weaponize conscience against family members

Obedient love lays down pride for the sake of the family of God, and maybe even non-Christians

Ultimately, obedient love is the proof of our true faith

God’s Command = Abide by the Spirit (v.24)

Finally, we need to remember that since God is the one who knows all, can help us in our time of need, and in our struggles to love each other, we need to continue to abide in him!

The one who keeps the commands (Believe upon Jesus and Love each other), remains or abides in Jesus

This is the way we now that Jesus remains in us, the Spirit is the seal on our consciences and hearts

As I said earlier, when we try to do things on our own, it doesn’t really help anyone

Christianity is never a try harder religion, it is very much a let go and submit to God religion

When we continue in baby steps of obedience, we also grow in becoming more like Jesus, and Jesus fills more and more of us

It is a wonderful cycle, that when we seek, we find and we learn, and we grow

It helps us grow in our assurance that we are God’s children, it helps be certain

There are three helpful cords that make up assurance

Truth- The belief upon Jesus

Love- The obedience of walking in the way of Jesus

Spirit- The way that God empowers and grows us to be more like him

Ultimately, the best thing about obedience is that it helps quiet our hearts

We know that it’s not based on what we feel or don’t feel

We know that our actions and beliefs have a major part to play in our becoming like Jesus

So obedient love, it quiets our hearts

You have probably heard of Augustine the church father, who has been monumental in so much of theology in the church

He spent much of his youth running from God

He loved chasing his ambition, his lust, philosophy,

His mother was a devout believer and prayed tirelessly for him, and his father a traditional pagan

It was not until he was 31 in 386 AD that he was saved when he was reading Romans 13:13–14 “13 Let us walk with decency, as in the daytime: not in carousing and drunkenness; not in sexual impurity and promiscuity; not in quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to gratify its desires.” .

Augustine was brilliant, but he was enslaved by the very things he chased

When he finally came to Christ, after mocking and ridiculing it for so long, he said incredible words in his work, Confessions

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside

Yet, perhaps the most famous of his quotes, which is even more beautiful when you consider his salvation story, is this

You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you

We were made for God, and so we do not find quiet hearts stemming from obedient love of our creator, until we find our creator and savior, Jesus

YOU

Augustine, and myself, and perhaps you, have learned the hard way, our hearts cannot be trusted to tell us the whole truth

Only God can quiet the conscience, and only His Spirit can give us assurance of belonging

So the question is how do we live this idea out once we leave this Sunday gathering and are left at church?

First, do a nightly heart check

While you are brushing your teeth, ask yourself tonight and tomorrow, and each day this week:

Where did I love in word and in action today?

Where did I withhold love in word or action today?

Thank God that you showed obedience, then ask for forgiveness for the second, and be done with guilt, don’t carry it into the next day!

Second, get sassy

I want you to talk back to that inner voice, that inner self-critic

How you talk to yourself, we call this self-talk in counseling, matters a great deal

When your conscience convicts and condemns you, first check, is there something you need to confess?

But if there is not, then don’t listen to it, don’t be dragged down by it

Fight back with the power of Scripture!

Something like, “Heart, God is far greater than you and how you are feeling. Christ has already justified me, and the Spirit of God assures me”

Finally, I want you to choose a 24 hour step of obedience to start today, right now, in this very message

What that means is that if you feel that God wants you to forgive, apologize, encourage, or be generous, do it

If God brings it to your mind, do it that day, even if it seems like something so insignificant as calling someone, you never know how important that call might be

WE

So imagine if we did this, if we really believed and lived this idea of obedient love with Jesus!

Not simply believing that God is greater than our consciences and hearts, but that it impacts how we pray, and love and forgive each other

Wouldn’t our church be a powerful place, if we had people that had their consciences quieted not by cheap appeals to Jesus and Scripture, but experiencing the transforming nature of mercy and walking in daily obedience?

What if our kids and youth and young adults were to grow up in a place in which performance and shame were not the primary voices they hear, but the steady reminder

“You belong to Christ, God is greater than your shame, heart, and conscience, and His Spirit lives within you, transforming you to be more like him each day”

This is what John really desires for us, and for the people that lived following Jesus back in the 1 century!

To be a church full of people whose obedience shows real faith

Whose love flows in deed and in truth and in our words

Whose empower bold prayers and love for each other

If we did these things together, we could be a people of God that speak louder than a thousand sermons

We could be a people who show, “God is greater than our hearts”

Benediction

May the God who is greater than your heart quiet every accusing voice.

May the Spirit assure you as His child, and give you boldness in your prayers and empower your love.

Go now in the peace of Christ, to love in deed and truth

All God’s people said

Amen