9. How NOT to be a Corinthian! 1 Corinthians 7

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Stand with me as we open our worship with scripture this morning.

Opening Scripture:

Psalm 119:137–144 CSB

137 You are righteous, Lord, and your judgments are just. 138 The decrees you issue are righteous and altogether trustworthy. 139 My anger overwhelms me because my foes forget your words. 140 Your word is completely pure, and your servant loves it. 141 I am insignificant and despised, but I do not forget your precepts. 142 Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and your instruction is true. 143 Trouble and distress have overtaken me, but your commands are my delight. 144 Your decrees are righteous forever. Give me understanding, and I will live.

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Worship Through the Word:

How NOT to be a Corinthian!

Command or Opinion? That is an important question as we come into today’s chapter. Paul changes his focus as we come into chapter 7. He is no longer confronting the sins and conflicts happening within the church and instead turns to answering questions. The Christian faith is still relatively new at this point. You have Jews trying to figure out the difference between their Judaism perspective and the Christian faith, as well as Gentiles trying to move from paganism to Christianity. Paul seeks to answer their questions and the subjects on the menu today are relationships.

The apostles had a very difficult task. You see, there were specific topics that Jesus taught very directly about, but Jesus could not give full answers on every subject in just three years. When the apostles became the teachers, there were times they were asked questions on things that they had to look for principles in Jesus’ teaching and use those to try to answer the questions.

We often face the same challenge. Our culture is different from the culture of the Bible. That means that there are different issues that come up. However, if we look close enough, we usually find some common sin or principle found there that we can relate with our own situations.

Some of the discrepancies found between denominations are due to these situations that are mastered by scriptural principles due to lack of direct teaching. This means people need to draw a conclusion that is sometimes more opinion driven than scriptural. Sometimes we each see a different side of the issue. Issues that come up are often not a one answer fits all due to various circumstances that are part of the issue. We will see this today. Paul will quickly demonstrate that not one answer fits all. Paul also distinguishes between what is directly from God and what are his opinions. He recognizes that the Holy Spirit influences his opinions, but that there are also sometimes extenuating circumstances that need to be taken into account. Each person needs to make their own decision based on their personality and circumstances, fortified by God’s Word. However, it should always be noted that our opinions, personality, or circumstances is never enough to violate God’s Word or principle. Our final decision must fit within the Godly guidelines of God’s specific Word or principle.

Due to the extensiveness of this passage, I will break this down into 2 or possibly even 3 sermons. Please stand as we read the first section of this passage.

1 Corinthians 7:1–11 NIV

1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

The Word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God!

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I.  Christian Principles for Relationships 1 Corinthians 7

Before we jump into these various questions and answers, I want to reiterate the importance of taking into account all of scripture. This chapter in 1 Corinthians is very abused by people pulling out one verse and using it to defend THEIR opinions. When this is done, most of the time they are not teaching scripture, they are just using scripture to defend their opinion, usually in a way that is false.

Paul discusses many different scenarios here. So, he at times says things that sound contradictory, but they are not if you consider the specific circumstances he is addressing. However, it leaves a door open for those who desire to justify their own views. Such false declarations are when people say that Paul was against marriage and declared people should remain single. Such statements are using Paul’s words out of context.

Paul begins by addressing...

A. Christians Married to Christians, 1 Corinthians 7:1-11

To understand the questions asked and Paul’s response, we need to look at what was happening in their day. There are two important factors that play into their questions, two extreme behaviors occurring in their day. One, was that it was seen to be highly spiritual to remain celibate. This is not so different today or from our own history. We know that certain religions require their priests or monks to be celibate. The Christians are asking Paul if God requires the same.

The second extreme was loose morality. Many of the pagan temples had prostitutes. Sexuality was celebrated and encouraged. While the question was about celibacy, Paul knows that the answer is best answered addressing the fuller context of marriage.

Look first at their first question.

1. Is it more spiritual to be celibate? 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

a. No, and in an immoral climate it may be preferable to be married so you are less tempted. VV 1-5

Paul responds that a man should abstain from immoral conduct. However, this does not mean that they shouldn’t marry or have sexual relationships with their wife. In fact, due to the immorality that surrounds them, it is better to be married and having regular relations with their wife to prevent them being tempted by someone else.

Paul doesn’t go into a great deal of detail here regarding marriage. He does that more in Ephesians. However, he does address their sexual relationship with each other and he makes it clear that one does not have any more authority for the other than the other. Both have equal authority and both should respond to each other in submission and concern for each others needs. This does not mean that one must yield to the other every time they wish. There are right times and wrong times to expect it. However, it should be a regular event that provides fulfillment for both.

There is something to be said to be celibate for a short time to give more attention to God, but these should be short times. I may have mentioned that I knew a couple that would take spiritual retreats together. They tried to do this once a year I believe it was, or at times when they were seeking answers regarding major decisions like moving, or accepting new ministry positions. They would pray together, then separate and stay in separate locations for 2-3 days. Each spent time in the word, in prayer, and in silence, journaling what they felt God was impressing upon them. Then they would come together, pray and talk about the things they had journaled and see what God was showing them. It was amazing that usually it was the same thing. They would end their retreat with an intimate time together before heading home. Their practice is a good example of Paul’s teaching here.

Paul was always careful to distinguish between what was a command of God and what was his personal opinion. We find him doing so here.

1 Corinthians 7:6 NIV

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

What is Paul making a concession about? Marriage. Why? Because...

b. Paul also sees benefits to being single. VV 6-9

Not because it makes you more spiritual, but because you are freer to devote your time fully to God’s service. He sees this ability to be a gift, I assume a gift of the Spirit. But he also acknowledges that one gift it not better than any other gift. Each person has their own personally gift, and one is not more highly exalted over another.

Paul realizes that being single is not for everyone but he does put in a pitch for it here.

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 NIV

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul is giving his opinion and it is because he is content to live as a single man. He is not tempted to have immoral relationships. He acknowledges that this is probably a gift of God so he can serve God in the way that God has called him to serve.

This kind of life is meant for fewer rather than more. God gave the man Adam a wife and said it was good. He said it was not good for man to be alone. The truth is that men and women help balance each other out in many ways and become a team that provides many benefits, far beyond that of the sexual relationship alone. There is much to be said for companionship and the team work that goes into home and ministry. God designed us this way.

Paul was not anti-marriage but Paul saw advantages to being single and celibate as well. The key is this:

Singles glorify God by living a celibate life. Likewise, the sexual intimacy between a married couple glorifies God.

Paul was careful to state what was his opinion, and I want to do the same. What I am about to share is my opinion. In ministry, we can create a very dangerous push one way or the other. We know that for many centuries, it has been (though I believe it is changing) the practice that Catholic priests were never to marry. In my opinion, this dictating of celibacy has been a major problem for the Catholic church. We all know the many issues with charges brought upon priests for moral failures, though they are not alone in this issue. Celibacy has to be a personal choice, not something imposed on someone in order to serve. We were created to be sexual creatures though it was always intended to be sex between one man and one woman as husband and wife. In this context, it is a beautiful thing that makes a couple a special unit. The two become one physically and spiritually.

On the flip side, many have put pressure on ministers to marry to prevent temptation (though we need to remember that even in marriage temptations can abound as we have seen many married ministers fall to such temptations as well). When a man feels pressured to be married to do what he feels called to do, he can too easily marry the wrong person. I have personally known several men that sought wives and ended up with women that did not fit the ministry life. There are many single women eager for marriage that agree to ministry, only to later decide they want out.

In the books of 1 Timothy and Titus it seems to encourage the elders of the church to be married. However, I believe this is stated more as a recommendation or ab expectation that they will eventually, Not a must! Paul certainly wasn’t married, nor did he ever state that an elder MUST marry. To marry or remain single can only be the choice of the individual and it depends on their personality and their sense of what God is directing for them.

Now a second question comes up.

2. Is it okay to get divorced? 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 NIV

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

As long as there has been marriage, there have been those seeking to get out of it. God’s word was very specific, yet even the Pharisees found ways to skirt God’s will. They sought to create their own rules.

Once again, Paul makes a distinction. In this case, this is not his opinion but the Lord’s command.

a. Divorce is not in God’s plan. VV 10-11

I will drop it there as we will address this more fully in our next passage for Paul moves from the subject of Christians married to Christians to Christians married to non-Christians where this question will resurface.

Conclusion:

This chapter is very practical even for today. The Christian principles regarding our relationships, whether married Christian to Christian, Christian to non-Christian, single or widowed are still the same today that they were then.

Next week I will address one subject that I believe is the greatest hinderance to many Christians. I consider it a plague that prevents many from experiencing the fullness of their Christian walk. So, I hope you can be here. Even if it hasn’t affected you, you may be able to prevent someone from falling into this trap.

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