10. How NOT to be a Corinthian! 1 Corinthians 7

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Spiritual Retreat - September 24-26, November 5-7 Prayer

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Gratitude, Brandon Lake

Stand with me as we open our worship with scripture this morning.

Opening Scripture:

Psalm 139:17–24 NIV

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. 19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Prayer

Worship Set

Prayer

Worship Through the Word:

How NOT to be a Corinthian!

I was so young when I gave my heart to the Lord that I do not even remember doing it. I just do not remember there ever being a time when I didn’t talk to God and seek to do His bidding. Next month, I will turn 64 years old and so after 64 years, you would think I had a solid understanding of it all. Well, guess what? I don’t! I still wonder, struggle, and ponder over the things of God. I continually discover new things in His Word that I am only just now beginning to grasp and there are many things I still ponder and seek His wisdom about.

When I was young, I thought my belief in God and my desire to serve Him in ministry was enough. I charged off to college within just a week of high school graduation. My plan was to work in that town for the summer and be ready for school in the fall. I thought I would attend college for four years and leave it on the elbow of a minister heading off to seminary. Life seemed so awesome!

My world crashed when I hated college, saw my tuition debt climbing, and had not one single potential minister in view. Since I had grown up in a Christian home and had felt prepared to make all the right choices, no one was more surprised than I was when two years later I was back home, unwed, with an infant in my arms. I had what should have been the proper foundation to make better choices.

But what about those who become Christians later? They have often made other choices they would not have if they had been a Christian to begin with.

Today we continue the discussion that was started last week. It began with a question about whether or not it was more spiritual to be celibate/single. Paul declared it was not more spiritual to be single and that those married should be faithful to their wedding vows, and distant from the immorality of their culture.

As we continue the discussion today, Paul is asked about relationships for Christians married to non-Christians. 1 Corinthians 7:10-24

1 Corinthians 7:10–24 NIV

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. 21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

The Word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God!

Pray

I.  Christian Principles for Relationships, Pt 2 1 Corinthians 7

Before we jump into these various questions and answers, I want to reiterate the importance of taking into account all of scripture. This chapter in 1 Corinthians is very abused by people pulling out one verse and using it to defend THEIR opinions. When this is done, most of the time they are not teaching scripture, they are just using scripture to defend their opinion, usually in a way that is false.

Paul discusses many different scenarios here. So, he at times says things that sound contradictory, but they are not if you consider the specific circumstances he is addressing. However, it leaves a door open for those who desire to justify their own views. Such false declarations are when people say that Paul was against marriage and declared people should remain single.

Paul begins by addressing...

A. Christians Married to Christians, 1 Corinthians 7:1-11

1 Corinthians 7:1–11 NIV

1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

To understand the questions asked and Paul’s response, we need to look at what was happening in their day. There are two important factors that play into their questions, two extreme behaviors occurring in their day. One, was that it was seen to be highly spiritual to remain celibate. This is not so different today or from our own history. We know that certain religions require their priests or monks to be celibate. The Christians are asking Paul if God requires the same.

The second extreme was loose morality. Many of the pagan temples had prostitutes. Sexuality was celebrated and encouraged. While the question was about celibacy, Paul knows that the answer is best answered addressing the fuller context of marriage.

Look first at their first question.

1. Is it more spiritual to be celibate? 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

a. No, and in an immoral climate it may be preferable to be married so you are less tempted. VV 1-5

Paul responds that a man should abstain from immoral conduct. However, this does not mean that they shouldn’t marry or have sexual relationships with their wife. In fact, due to the immorality that surrounds them, it is better to be married and having regular relations with their wife to prevent them being tempted by someone else.

Paul doesn’t go into a great deal of detail here regarding marriage. He does that more in Ephesians. However, he does address their sexual relationship with each other and he makes it clear that one does not have any more authority for the other than the other. Both have equal authority and both should respond to each other in submission and concern for each others needs. This does not mean that one must yield to the other every time they wish. There are right times and wrong times to expect it. However, it should be a regular event that provides fulfillment for both.

There is something to be said to be celibate for a short time to give more attention to God, but these should be short times. I may have mentioned that I knew a couple that would take spiritual retreats together. They tried to do this once a year I believe it was, or at times when they were seeking answers regarding major decisions like moving, or accepting new ministry positions. They would pray together, then separate and stay in separate locations for 2-3 days. Each spent time in the word, in prayer, and in silence, journaling what they felt God was impressing upon them. Then they would come together, pray and talk about the things they had journaled and see what God was showing them. It was amazing that usually it was the same thing. They would end their retreat with an intimate time together before heading home. Their practice is a good example of Paul’s teaching here.

Paul was always careful to distinguish between what was a command of God and what was his personal opinion. We find him doing so here.

1 Corinthians 7:6 NIV

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

What is Paul making a concession about? Marriage. Why? Because...

b. Paul also sees benefits to being single. VV 6-9

Not because it makes you more spiritual, but because you are freer to devote your time fully to God’s service. He sees this ability to be a gift, I assume a gift of the Spirit. But he also acknowledges that one gift it not better than any other gift. Each person has their own personally gift, and one is not more highly exalted over another.

Paul realizes that being single is not for everyone but he does put in a pitch for it here.

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 NIV

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul is giving his opinion and it is because he is content to live as a single man. He is not tempted to have immoral relationships. He acknowledges that this is probably a gift of God so he can serve God in the way that God has called him to serve.

This kind of life is meant for fewer rather than more. God gave the man Adam a wife and said it was good. He said it was not good for man to be alone. The truth is that men and women help balance each other out in many ways and become a team that provides many benefits, far beyond that of the sexual relationship alone. There is much to be said for companionship and the team work that goes into home and ministry. God designed us this way.

Paul was not anti-marriage but Paul saw advantages to being single and celibate as well. The key is this:

Singles glorify God by living a celibate life. Likewise, the sexual intimacy between a married couple glorifies God.

Paul was careful to state what was his opinion, and I want to do the same. What I am about to share is my opinion. In ministry, we can create a very dangerous push one way or the other. We know that for many centuries, it has been (though I believe it is changing) the practice that Catholic priests were never to marry. In my opinion, this dictating of celibacy has been a major problem for the Catholic church. We all know the many issues with charges brought upon priests for moral failures, though they are not alone in this issue. Celibacy has to be a personal choice, not something imposed on someone in order to serve. We were created to be sexual creatures though it was always intended to be sex between one man and one woman as husband and wife. In this context, it is a beautiful thing that makes a couple a special unit. The two become one physically and spiritually.

On the flip side, many have put pressure on ministers to marry to prevent temptation (though we need to remember that even in marriage temptations can abound as we have seen many married ministers fall to such temptations as well). When a man feels pressured to be married to do what he feels called to do, he can too easily marry the wrong person. I have personally known several men that sought wives and ended up with women that did not fit the ministry life. There are many single women eager for marriage that agree to ministry, only to later decide they want out.

In the books of 1 Timothy and Titus it seems to encourage the elders of the church to be married. However, I believe this is stated more as a recommendation or ab expectation that they will eventually, Not a must! Paul certainly wasn’t married, nor did he ever state that an elder MUST marry. To marry or remain single can only be the choice of the individual and it depends on their personality and their sense of what God is directing for them.

Now a second question comes up.

2. Is it okay to get divorced? 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 NIV

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

As long as there has been marriage, there have been those seeking to get out of it. God’s word was very specific, yet even the Pharisees found ways to skirt God’s will. They sought to create their own rules.

Once again, Paul makes a distinction. In this case, this is not his opinion but the Lord’s command.

a. Divorce is not in God’s plan.

I will drop it there as we will address this more fully in our next passage for Paul moves from the subject of Christians married to Christians to...

B. Christians Married to Non-Christians 1 Corinthians 7:12-20

1 Corinthians 7:12–20 NIV

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

1. Should we divorce an unsaved spouse?

2. What if the unsaved spouse divorces us?

3. Can an abandoned spouse remarry?

C. Unmarried Christians 1 Corinthians 7:25-40

1 Corinthians 7:25–40 NIV

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. 39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

1. Is it better to marry or to stay single?

D. Christian Slaves 1 Corinthians 7:21-24

1 Corinthians 7:21–24 NIV

21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

1. Should I seek to free myself?

Prayer

Worship Set

Benediction