God’s Design for Marriage & Divorce

INTRODUCTION

Please take your Bible and turn with me to Mark 10:1–12.

This passage records one of the most direct and uncompromising statements Jesus ever made about marriage and divorce

It is a passage that confronts our culture head-on because we live in a day when marriage is cheapened, divorce is normalized, and vows are broken as easily as contracts

But here, Jesus takes us back to God’s original design and reminds us that marriage is not a human invention — it is a divine institution.

This account is found in both Mark 10:1-12 and Matthew 19:1-12

I am going to read both accounts from John MacArthur’s book, One Perfect Life…

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He arose from there and departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. And as He was accustomed, He taught them again.

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, wrote you this precept, and permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”

In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. So He said to them, “I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

As we begin our look at this text, we need to understand that verse one is a transition marking the beginning of a new phase in Jesus’ ministry

Mark says in verse 1, “Getting up, He went from there…”

The phrase "getting up" indicates that Jesus is moving from one location to another

At the end of Mark 9, Jesus had been in Capernaum, in Galilee, where He was teaching His disciples about humility, servanthood, and the importance of avoiding sin (Mark 9:33-50)

Now, He begins a journey southward to Judea and beyond the Jordan, closer to Jerusalem

This is part of His deliberate movement toward the events that will culminate in His crucifixion and resurrection

Verse 1 also says, “according to His custom, He once more began to teach them”

Teaching was central to Jesus' ministry

He didn’t just perform miracles—He consistently explained and proclaimed the truths of God’s kingdom

This was His "custom" or habitual practice, showing that His primary mission was to reveal God’s will and prepare hearts for redemption

As we work through Mark chapter 10, we will see several important topics that Jesus teaches on:

In Mark 10:2-12 - the sanctity of marriage and divorce

In Mark 10:13-16 - the importance of childlike faith

In Mark 10:17-31 - the dangers of wealth

In Mark 10:32-34 - His impending death and resurrection

In Mark 10:35-45 - servanthood and leadership

Mark tells us in verse 2, “Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife.”

Now, the Pharisees weren’t asking this question because they wanted truth

Verse 2 says they came “testing Him.”

They wanted to trap Him in controversy

At that time, the rabbis were divided into two schools of thought:

The school of Shammai taught that divorce was only permissible for sexual immorality

The school of Hillel taught that divorce was permissible for almost anything — even if a wife spoiled a meal

So by asking this question, the Pharisees were baiting Jesus to take sides

But instead of entering their rabbinical debate, Jesus does what He always does: He takes them back to the Word of God — back to creation itself

Whenever Jesus was asked to settle a moral question, He always went back to Genesis, because God’s original design never changes.

This passage gives us five truths about marriage and divorce

In verses 3-9, Jesus gives us…

God’s Design for Marriage (vv.3–9)

Jesus answers their question with a question of His own in verse 3: “What did Moses command you?” They reply by pointing to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, where Moses permitted divorce

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 says, “1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, 2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.”

The word “indecency” in verse 1 has been the subject of much debate over the years

There are 4 possible interpretations of the word “indecency”

Sexual immorality (adultery or promiscuity)

Some scholars argue that "indecency" refers to serious sexual misconduct, though not necessarily adultery (since adultery was punishable by death under the Law, see Leviticus 20:10)

It could refer to behavior that was sexually improper but fell short of full adultery, such as immodesty, flirtation, or other inappropriate conduct

Moral or behavioral shame

Another interpretation is that "indecency" could refer to some kind of shameful or dishonorable behavior that caused the husband to lose respect for his wife

This could include things like public disgrace, disobedience, or actions that violated cultural expectations for wives

Physical defect or displeasure

Some Jewish traditions (particularly the more lenient school of Hillel) interpreted "indecency" very broadly, arguing that it included anything that displeased the husband, even trivial matters like burning food or lack of physical attractiveness

This interpretation was criticized by others as being too permissive and inconsistent with the sanctity of marriage

A general term for any serious offense

The phrase ervat davar might have been intentionally vague, allowing for flexibility in its application to various situations that caused a breakdown in the marital relationship

But Jesus points further back, to Genesis. Verse 6: “But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Marriage is God’s creation

It is not a social construct

It is not a cultural arrangement

It is the creation of God Himself - Gen.2:21-25

The two Greek words in Mark 10:8 translated “one flesh” emphasizes God’s original intention for marriage: a union so intimate that two become “one flesh”

This is an inseparable bond between a husband and wife

This is a new kinship bond

It means “to yoke together permanently”

The picture is of two oxen bound under the same yoke — inseparable, working together as one

This is a transformation into a singular, united relationship

This is a deep covenantal union that mirrors God’s covenant faithfulness and the ultimate union between Christ and believers

Marriage is a covenant

Malachi 2:14 says, “She is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

Marriage is not a contract that can be dissolved at will

It is a covenant made before God

Paul says in Ephesians 5:31–32 that marriage is a “mystery” that points to Christ and His church

Marriage is a divine institution, not a human device

It binds a man and woman together under God until death - Romans 7:2

The Problem of Sin in Marriage (v.5)

The Pharisees press Jesus: “Why did Moses command a certificate of divorce?” Jesus responds in verse 5: “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.”

Divorce was never God’s plan

Moses permitted it, but it was never commanded

Deuteronomy 24 simply regulated divorce in order to protect women from exploitation, but it was never part of God’s original design

Divorce exists because of sin

It exists because of human hardness of heart

Malachi 2:16 says, “I hate divorce.”

God hates divorce because it lies about His covenant love — it suggests that He breaks promises, when He never does

The Permanence of Marriage (vv.9–12)

Jesus makes His point in verse 9: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Divorce leads to adultery

Verses 11–12: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

Notice: In Mark’s account, there is no exception clause

Matthew includes the phrase “except for immorality,” but Mark does not

Mark gives the absolute, uncompromising standard: Marriage is permanent

Bound until death

Romans 7:2–3 – A woman is bound to her husband while he lives.

1 Corinthians 7:39 – A widow is free to remarry only “in the Lord.”

John MacArthur said…

“Jesus is not saying remarriage is impossible, but that illegitimate remarriage is adulterous.”

Biblical Clarification from Other Texts

We must interpret Scripture with Scripture

While Mark presents the ideal, other passages explain limited exceptions:

Sexual immorality

Matthew 5:32 - “except for the reason of unchastity”

Matthew 19:9 – Divorce permitted for immorality (πορνεία).

πορνεία is a broad word for unlawful sexual activity — fornication, adultery, incest, prostitution

The MacArthur Study Bible Chapter 5

If the divorce was not for sexual immorality any remarriage is adultery, because God does not acknowledge the divorce

From a first-century Jewish perspective, the grounds for divorce were quite broad, including various improprieties such as:

Going about with loose hair

Speaking too loudly to one's husband

General bad reputation

None of these are legitimate reasons for divorce

Abandonment by an unbeliever

1 Corinthians 7:15 – If the unbelieving spouse leaves, the believer is “not under bondage.”

That means “not enslaved to maintain the marriage at all costs.”

The exception is not an encouragement to divorce, but a concession to human weakness

Marriage as a Gospel Picture

Christ and His Church

Ephesians 5:25–27 – Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church

Revelation 19:7–9 – The Marriage Supper of the Lamb points to our eternal union with Christ

Faithfulness in covenant

Hosea 2:19–20 – God pledges Himself to His people forever

Marriage is the daily school of the gospel, where we learn love and self-denial

A true Christian home is the nearest thing to heaven on earth

Illustration

There’s a story from church history of a Christian woman whose unbelieving husband despised her faith

He mocked her, mistreated her, and tried to drive her away

Yet she remained faithful, loving him and praying for his soul

Over time, her steadfastness broke his hardness, and he came to Christ

That is a living picture of covenant love — not giving up, not walking away, but persevering in faithfulness as Christ does with us

CONCLUSION

Jesus’ teaching in Mark 10 is radically countercultural

It confronts our human tendency to look for loopholes

But He makes it clear: Marriage is permanent

Divorce exists only because of sin

Limited exceptions are given, but even then, divorce is never commanded

Marriage ultimately points beyond itself — to the gospel, to Christ and His church

So let me ask you:

If you are married — are you cherishing your covenant, reflecting Christ’s love in your home?

If you are divorced — are you resting in God’s grace and walking faithfully where you are?

If you are single — are you preparing now to live in purity, so that if God grants you marriage, you will honor Him in it?

Beloved, marriage is not ultimately about us

It is about God

It is about displaying the glory of the gospel in the covenant-keeping love of Christ

Remember what Peter said in 1 Peter 3:7

That marriage is “the grace of life”

This refers to the shared blessings of life that husbands and wives enjoy together as co-heirs of God's grace

Marriage is seen as a gift or grace from God, something to be honored and cherished

If you’re here today and have never made a commitment to Christ and the gospel, you need to do so today, not for your marriage but for your soul

But what will make a good marriage is two Christians walking in faithful obedience to Jesus Christ

I trust that describes you today

If not, give Him your life today and your marriage

Matthew describes the disciples response in Matthew 19:10, “The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.””

But Jesus said in Matthew 19:11, “But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.”

Let’s pray