Paul- The Discipler’s Heart

Background to Philemon:

Map: This is the region of Colossae where Philemon and his household were

Genre & Structure: Philemon is a personal letter (epistle) from the Apostle Paul, the shortest book in the New Testament at only 25 verses. It's one of Paul's "Prison Epistles," written during his house arrest in Rome around 60-62 AD.

Key Players: We’re going to take the next four weeks and look at this letter from each of their unique perspectives. Paul - The apostle, writing from prison

Philemon - A wealthy Christian slave owner in Colossae, leader in the house church

Onesimus - Philemon's runaway slave who became a Christian under Paul's ministry

Apphia - Likely Philemon's wife

Archippus - Possibly their son, a church leader

The Situation: Onesimus, a slave belonging to Philemon, had apparently run away (possibly stealing money in the process). He somehow encountered Paul in Rome, became a Christian, and was discipled by the apostle. Paul now sends Onesimus back to his master with this letter, asking Philemon to receive him not as a runaway slave but as a beloved Christian brother.

Central Themes: Forgiveness and reconciliation - Personal restoration between master and slave

Christian brotherhood - How the gospel transforms social relationships

Intercession - Paul advocates for Onesimus, even offering to pay his debts

Transformation - From slave to brother in Christ

Historical Context: Slavery was integral to the Roman economy. Runaway slaves faced severe punishment, even death. Paul doesn't directly challenge the institution of slavery but demonstrates how Christian love should transform all relationships, making this letter a powerful example of applied gospel principles in real-world situations.

Significance: Though brief, Philemon shows how the gospel works in everyday relationships and social structures, emphasizing love, forgiveness, a plea for reconciliation, and the radical equality found in Christ.

If you are willing and able, and in your bibles or on your devices turn to the book of Philemon, we’ll stand as I read our text this morning. Philemon

This is the word of the Lord. (pray). Amen. Please be seated.

Theme: Leading through Love, Not Authority

Key Text Focus: Verses 1, 8-9, 17-19

Main Points:

(v.1, 8-9)The Power of Relationship Over Position

Paul identifies as "prisoner" not "apostle" - vulnerability before authority

No where else in scripture does he start off his letter with this designation/identity.

He intentionally removes what we would call power dynamics (he had the spiritual authority to demand) and moves into a position of appealing and inviting Philemon into this powerful moment of restoration.

"Though I could command... I appeal on the basis of love”

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Paul recognizes the war that goes on in us. We have a need for our sense of justice, our understanding of the cost of what someone did to us… But Paul appeals to Philemon even though it is what he ought to do.

Calls out characteristics of Philemon… sometimes we need others to call out in us what we can not see ourselves (v4-7)

Paul is grateful for Philemon; Philemon loves God’s people; His faith in Jesus is noteworthy; that he shares every good thing in Christ; Paul is refreshed and encouraged by the love that Philemon has; Philemon’s work has strengthened/refreshed the hearts of believers.

It really is helpful to make it a matter of practice to call out those good things we see in people, either as they are doing them, when we hear they are doing them, or as we witness them doing those wonderful things.

It has been expressed to me that, “I have hard time doing that because I don’t want them to get prideful or puffed up.” I get that. However you’re not in control of that anyway.

I would say don’t be manipulative. If you can’t call something out in someone because you’re looking for something in return, don’t do it. Go into your prayer closet and ask God to change your heart.

If you can genuinely call something out in someone’s life that is good, because it’s true, sharing it can lead to things unimaginable. We have no idea how those things can change the trajectory of someone who might then feel the confidence to lean into their calling (my first time leading youth group).

Modern application: Leading through influence, not intimidation.

Intimidation is power dynamics of top down. As Jesus would say, these are those who use their power and lord it over them. This can be mistaken for strong leadership, but it’s weak and easy in my opinion.

Matthew 20:25–28 “Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.””

Influence is rooted in relationship and reputation. This is truly strong leadership, but it’s hard and therefore often left untried in my opinion. But I think it’s the way of Jesus… it’s “come and see”…. you don’t have to, but you’ll be blessed if you do. It’s so much better than the alternative.

(v.10-12, 17)Intercession as Discipleship

Paul sends his "very heart" back - costly advocacy

We see the deep transformation and connection that has taken place.

We don’t have all the details of Onesimus’ journey, but he comes across Paul and becomes a follower of Jesus. Paul disciples him and is putting him on a mission to deliver his letter to the Colossians.

Discipleship requires risk. It means putting ourselves out there and exposing ourselves and becoming vulnerable.

The risk is that you’ll be hurt. You’ll be misunderstood. You’ll be misrepresented.

While some of those risks can be mitigated based on those we disciple and pour our lives into, we are following in the footsteps of Jesus who held nothing back from His disciples, and even of those, there were times that they caused grief, hurt, and disappointment. BUT HE DID IT ANYWAY.

This is the goal, that through these experiences we and those we are walking with become more and more like Jesus… it’s that sanctifying process (like we talked about last week… God making us more holy).

"Receive him as you would receive me" - putting reputation on the line

Modern application: When we disciple others, we become invested in their restoration and flourishing

It is a work of selflessness when done right.

(v.15-16, 20-21)Vision-Casting for God's Larger Story

"Perhaps this is why..." - helping others see God's providence

I love this. I love Paul’s imagination and helping Philemon to see how and why this might have all gone down.

We’ll talk more about this later, but this in theological terms is called the “divine passive” (seems like an oxymoron). God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, who created all things and knows the beginning from the end (from our perspective) seemingly allows certain things to happen that work out for the furthering of His purposes.

From slave to beloved brother - a transformational perspective

This is a powerful and beautiful example of how the gospel transforms all things.

We who are slaves to sin (Romans 6-7) are set free by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Because Christ ascended into heaven, soon to be coming back, He gave us the Holy Spirit who indwells all those who believe in Jesus. We are born-again, the Spirit indwells us and we have the power of God to be the witness of God and experience the transformational work of God in our lives.

Onesimus was a slave, now a brother, a follower of Jesus. I think it’s a fair question that we might explore later when we look at the letter from the perspective of Philemon, but why didn’t Onesimus experience being born again under Philemon’s roof or care? The obvious answer to that question is that God had another plan.

The end of this reality is that we then get to live in Romans 8. Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,”

Modern application: Helping others see beyond immediate circumstances to God's eternal purposes

Do not misinterpret this as deflection. There are unhelpful comments that we can make when we are uncomfortable or unaware of the suffering of others. When someone dies or is navigating deep hurt and we make comments like “well, at least they are in a better place” or “well now you don’t have to care for them anymore”, or “Don’t be sad, you’ll see them again.”… well intending, maybe, but not helpful. This is not what’s going on.

In relationship, as we identify and perceive what God might be doing, we can be prompted by God in the Spirit of grace and love to interrupt their understanding/train of thought and suggest something that they hadn’t perceived or knew.

There are moments when we are walking with others, they are encountering something new or something challenging, and there becomes an opportunity to tap into our own experience and think… Oh… God might be doing something here.

Paul had his own conversion experience to draw on. He thought he was faithfully serving the Lord only to be knocked to the ground, blinded, saved, and then found himself on the run from those that wanted to kill him because he was now proclaiming Jesus instead of incarcerating those who followed Jesus.

The book of Acts is full of God interrupting plans and leading people in directions they hadn’t thought of.

Here is another beautiful truth: where we are in the moment (where we find others) is not who they will be or what they will become… resist the tendency for labels and stereotyping.

As we look to come alongside others and encourage them, let’s do it graciously, kindly, humbly, prayerfully, and who knows what God won’t do.

Conclusion

The letter to Philemon reveals that the heart of discipleship isn't found in wielding authority, but in wielding love. Paul shows us that true spiritual leadership requires us to lay down our right to command and instead choose the harder path of influence through relationship. When we disciple others, we're not just teaching principles—we're investing our very hearts, putting our reputations on the line, and helping people see beyond their current circumstances to God's redemptive purposes. This costs us something. It makes us vulnerable. But this is the way of Jesus, who didn't come to be served but to serve, and who calls us to lead others not through intimidation but through invitation. As we go from here, may we have eyes to see the "Onesimus moments" in our own lives—those opportunities to intercede, to restore, and to help others discover that where they are today is not who they're destined to become. The gospel transforms slaves into beloved brothers and sisters, and God invites us to be part of that beautiful, costly work of redemption.

Key Applications:

How do we use our influence to restore rather than punish/revenge?

What does it cost us to advocate for those who've wronged others?

How do we help people see God's bigger picture in difficult situations?