Disagreement and Anger

Introduction

This is the second part of our series looking at Unity, and our topic for this evening is disagreement and anger … which is one of those light topics … nice and easy.

If I am honest, when I listen to the reading and reflect on it, I just think of all the ways that I’ve not done this well … in fact, I can think of many occasions when I have got this horribly wrong.

I imagine that Paul was not perfect at this, but I feel like he may have done better than me.

But if he was here, I think he would say that he was looking to Jesus, who did all of this well

We’re called to live like this … but we know that we haven’t … the bar still stays the same … but there is grace for where we have failed … there is forgiveness … and when we have got it wrong, Jesus picks us up, dusts us down, and lets us try again

Part 1

Ephesians 4:1–3

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

Paul is writing this letter as a prisoner for the Lord … he is under arrest for what he has done in his ministry … and his encouragement and challenge are to ‘live a life worthy of the calling you have received’

It’s quite humbling to think that he is probably nearer the end than the beginning of running the race for Jesus and he is urging the church, from imprisonment, to live a life worthy of the calling we have received

We have received a calling … we are called first …

Often in life we have to earn what we get … whether it’s a good grade at school or college or university … or a promotion at work … most of the time those next level achievements come through hard work or particularly good work … and sometimes when you might achieve something, you may want to celebrate … maybe you go out for a meal with friends and family … and although you might not say this, but the person who you are celebrating ‘is the guest of honour’ … they’re the one who is the focus.

But Paul is saying that we have already received a calling … we are already children of God, we are already adopted into God’s family, we are already loved, we already have a place of honour around the table … but not because of anything we have achieved … it is something that we have received through putting our faith and trust in Jesus … we are honoured sons and daughters of the Father

And now Paul is saying, live a life worthy of the calling you have received … live in this way

It reminds me of those films where someone finds out that they are the next in line to a royal throne, which they never knew before, and now they have to learn to be a royal … I think one I grew up with was called Princess Diaries

It’s probably quite old now, but Ann Hathaway has to learn how to eat ‘properly’, how to sit and stand and greet people in a particular way, but what Paul is getting at is our character rather than our outward behaviours … it’s the shape of our hearts and wills and desires rather than out outward appearances.

We live out this calling through being completely humble and gentle; be[ing] patient, bearing with one another in love.

Humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another

These are some great qualities aren’t they …

Humility - not putting yourself above others, but putting others above yourself

Gentleness - not being harsh or rough, but there’s a sense of kindness in speech and action

Patience - Not rushing others, not getting annoyed that they aren’t where you are or where you want them to be, but having the ability to wait and to allow people to be where they are

Bearing with one another in love - allowing one another to be - in love, creating space for one another - forgiving one another when we get things wrong - having grace for each other.

And the word that Paul uses at the start is ‘completely’ - which is quite a tough one isn’t it?! Not just doing a little bit of these things, but they need to shape us … so that we are completely these things to one another.

Even when I manage a bit of humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with others … I’m not sure I manage to do it completely!

Gentleness and patience are listed as fruits of the Spirit, and I guess all of these are fruits of the Spirit … they are the outcomes of the work of the Holy Spirit in us … as we put our roots down into God, as we look towards Jesus, the Holy Spirit produces this fruit in us … and we grow in humility, gentless, patience and bearing with one another in love.

And the goal in all of this is to keep the unity of the Spirit throught the bond of peace … we are to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

The fruits of the Spirit lead to the unity of the Spirit … the ultimate fruit is the evidence of peace - wholeness, goodness, wellbeing in the church.

Part 2

Ephesians 4:25–27

for we are all members of one body

Paul reminds us that we are all part of one family … we are reminded of that passage that says 1 corinthians 12:21-22

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 12:21–23.

When we remember that we are all part of one body, of one family, we are reminded to not dismiss one another but rather than pushing each other away, we need to do the opposite.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour

Paul says to put off falsehood - lying - and speak truthfully to our neighbour … I guess he has the phrase ‘love your neighbour as yourself’ at the back of his mind.

Paul continues …

‘In your anger do not sin’

Psalm 4:4 “Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.”

There’s something about coming before the Lord on our own and searching our hearts … or allowing the Lord to search us ...

Psalm 129:23-24

23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Practical

I wonder how anger works for you?

Sometimes it can start with fear - we can get scared, we can feel hemmed in, and anger arises

Sometimes a situation or something someone says can remind you of a past hurt … and anger about what

Sometimes people or situations can push our buttons …

Monopoly …

Other situations that are harder …

Part 3

Ephesians 4:29–32

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

To build up and not tear down … to encourage … to benefit others

And it’s interesting that Paul says to build others up according to their needs … it’s not about telling people what we think they need to hear … it’s about seeking the Lord for one another and thinking about how what we say can be a blessing and a benefit to them

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

It seems like it saddens the Holy Spirit when we tear down sisters and brothers … it seems that it grieves the Spirit

Psalm 133

1 How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! 2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”