Kindness

Intro:

Colossians 3:12–14 “12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Last week we looked at the Story of the Good Samaritan to see what it looks like to be clothed in compassion. This week we’re going to look at a different story. This one is not a parable but a historical account.

John 8:1–5 NIV

1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

The Pharisees were right, she was an adulterer - a sinner. - law did say she had to be put to death.

Problem is they valued the truth > people.

Here’s the reality strong relationships need truth; you can’t build relationships on a lie. It’s important to champion truth.

But truth should be used in a constructive manner not a destructive manner.

Further, we need to consider the directionality to which truth is being applied. It has to be applied internally before its applied externally.

The problem, is the pharisees did the opposite.

V & I marriage - she was always right - I was always wrong.

We would struggle with this question “When do I tell them the truth/confront them” it’s the wrong question - always!

A better question, is how do I address it gracefully? not, should I? It’s how do I do it out of love.

If we’re honest our interactions can be void of love; you say well love requires truth!

Which is true, but truth doesn’t require love.

We are called to be a people of truth.

Ephesians 4:25 NIV

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

But the truth is offensive. Truth is divisive.

Truth is both helpful and hurtful.

God’s Word is true.

John 17:17 NIV

17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

But His Word is also a sword

Hebrews 4:12 NIV

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

We think that the best way to correct people is to poke and prod them with truth (use knife as imagry)

But that’s not loving.

Truth with out love is dangerous - this is evident in the pharisees

John 8:4–6 NIV

4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.

Jesus is the author of Truth - HE is the TRUTH!

Truth is not a proposition - it’s a person.

John 14:6 NIV

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

We can’t experience life to the full without truth! But the delivery mechanism of truth has to be love not law.

Let’s see how Jesus responds,

John 8:6–8 NIV

6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

Jesus doesn’t bypass truth. Truth and grace are not opposites. The opposite of truth is deception. The opposite of grace is condemnation.

Jesus redirects the accusations.

Often times our relationships are suffering because we are pointing the finger at the wrong person!

Give marriage example

After dealing with the accusers, he then deals with her. And picture this, she got caught in adultery, gets dragged out into the street and now her sins in private are made public

can we just take a moment to acknowledge how profound this moment is? The woman’s private sins were made public.

Can you imagine if your private sin - what’s done in darkness was brought into broad daylight for everyone to see - how embaressing would that be?

What’s what confession should feel like - naked and exposed - so that you may be confronted with truth of the gospel

And how does Jesus Respond?

John 8:9–11 NIV

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

3. Jesus Extends grace

grace - is transformative - “go and leave your life of sin”

Romans 2:4 NIV

4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

Yet what Jesus gives her is not condemnation but grace

Define Grace - unmerited favor,

Mercy deals with the consequences of sin

Grace delivers the benefits of salvation

Grace and truth are not at odds we receive truth because of God’s grace

Law - moses

Grace and truth - JC

John 1:16–17 NIV

16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Grace is the means by which we receive truth.

Yet, grace and truth are so interconnected, that you can’t truly receive grace with out first experiencing truth.

Think about the order of these events:

Woman caught in sin

Woman accused for her sin

The truth of her reality is laid bare // her sin is laid bare before God

Yet what follows is not condemnation but grace

Grace is the means by which we receive truth and truth precedes grace

Here’s what I love about Jesus He is so Holy that His truth and His grace are never in competition with one another

When we interact with people throughout our day; we are so flawed grace and truth are often in competition with one another.

Human tug a war between grace and truth

Kindness is being truthful and graceful!

Let me give you an example

BP Example w/Emma BP

Case: hypertension,

Truth: tell me Dx

Grace: give me Rx hydrochlorothiazide

Then give examples of true kindness:

Roommate - tell them they stink but give them an opportunity to clean themselves up, give them margin to do their laundry

Friend - kind to tell them you were disappointed their late but that you won’t count it against them

Dating - kind to tell them you don’t see a future together

Truth + Grace in Accountability

A friend is drinking heavily or making destructive choices.

Truth: “I care about you, and I’ve noticed how much you’ve been drinking. I’m worried it’s hurting you.”

Grace: “You’re not alone in this. I want to help you find healthier ways to cope.”

Roommates - Conflict over Shared Space

Roommate keeps leaving dirty dishes everywhere.

Truth: “It’s hard for me to live in a messy kitchen—it stresses me out.”

Grace: “I know classes have been crazy. How about we figure out a cleaning rhythm that works for both of us?”

Dating

Setting Boundaries

You feel uncomfortable with how far things are going physically.

Truth: “I don’t feel right about crossing these boundaries physically.”

Grace: “I value you and our relationship, and I want us to honor God and each other.”

Breaking Up Kindly

You realize the relationship isn’t right.

Truth: “I’ve realized we’re not heading in the same direction, and I don’t see this relationship moving forward.”

Grace: “I deeply respect you and care about you, and I’m thankful for the time we’ve shared.”

Supervisor - all grace no truth

Coach - all truth no grace

You see if we want to learn to be Kind - truly kind - we have to be both truthful and graceful

But these can only be done in love.

So how do we be fully kind? we can’t, we can’t do it on our own. We need Jesus to teach us, and lead us and guide us.

Action: ASK THE LORD FOR HELP being both truthful and kind.