The Pursuit of Peace (Eph 4:1-3)

Introduction

What do we want when we turn 80? 

I want to be able to move and to have my mental faculties

I want my kids to visit me and care for me. I want to enjoy grandkids. 

I want to be a spiritual father and grandfather to others.

Jon Foreman, Inheritance 

“I wanna be rich in memories not money

Our love is our inheritance honey”

What do I need to do to make sure that happens? 

You can’t wait until your 70 to spend time with your kids or care about your health. At that point, what’s done is done. 

You have to set your priorities now with the end goal in mind.

Being a leader isn’t about position it’s about becoming the type of person people want to follow/be like.

[Fatherly Tone] As much as we may want to we don’t get to abdicate this responsibility to teachers, friends, or pastors/youth leaders.

To give this responsibility to the world is to give our families over to satan.

You do not know too little to be seen as a leader. You are not too young or too inexperienced. You are a leader to someone, like it or not.

This series is about being a leader in your family. Setting the Spiritual tone at home, work, church, friends, etc.

Last week was about leading our familes in/through an anxious world.

This week is about leading our families in a chaotic world. Our families need to be a place of peace. How do we lead them?

Context (Eph 3:1-3)

Ch. 1-3 are full of Indivatives while Ch. 4-6 are full of imperatives.

Idicatives (This is who you are) Vs. imperatives (Now go and do). We need to hear the indicatives before we can move to the imperatives.

You have been rescued from your old life into a new one (Eph. 2:8-10). You now have a calling placed on your life. (Eph 1:13-14) and the ability to live this way (Eph. 1:19-20)

Therefore…

This is a reference to everything that came before.

Paul starts drawing conclusions about the kind of life God wants his people to live.

The life God is calling us to is a life of unity and peace.

What’s Peace?: Peace is more than the absence of conflict. — Wholeness and completeness, the way things were meant to be.

There is a difference between being a peacekeeper and a peacemaker.

A peacekeeper may sacrifice hard conversations or confrontation in order to avoid conflict

a peacemaker will do the difficult and hard to bring real peace and not just the absence of conflict. Peacekeepers work on the surface level whereas peacemakers work at the root level.

If we want peace in my family then I need to ask: “What direction am I leading my family in?”

Where are you walking?

“Lead a life” (NLT) is lit. “to walk” (ESV) or could be translated “live a life” (NIV).

in the biblical mind to live and to walk are metaphorically the same. As we live, our lives are headed in a direction.

Where are you walking to?

Our calling is to be people of peace who lead others toward the ultimate peace.

How to walk worthy… 

A parallel passage: Col 3:12-14)

Paul uses the metaphor of dressing appropriately for the walk of life God has called us to.

On a long difficult journey what we wear becomes vitally important. We must clothe ourselves properly.

There is no shortcut. No hack. If we want lead renewal and bring peace to our familes it starts with our commitment to Christ.

Like the Welsh revival of the early 20th century it starts by praying, “Lord, bend me.”

4 Ways in Eph. Paul encourages us to clothe ourself if we want unity and peace for our journey.

(1) Humility (2) Gentleness (3) Patience (4) Tolerance

(1) Humility (Be Humble) 

Humility is not thinking less of yourself it is thinking of yourself less.

That humility is good has not been a given across cultures and history. It certainly wasn’t true in the 1st century Roman world. In the context of the Roman honour/shame culture humility was always seen as humiliation. To act humbly was seen as weakness and not a quality to be emulated. Meekness=weakness

Leading from a place of humility not pride. 

Be like Jesus: Servant Leadership not Authoritarian Dictates (Mk. 10:42-45)

Arrogance and self-centredness destroy families and is not the way of Jesus. (Phil. 2:3-4)

In the face of possible shame for our views, our thoughts, or our actions we choose humility. We are free to serve others and stand for what is right even if it may cost us shame, cultural capital, friends, or even pain.  

(2) Gentleness (Be Gentle) 

We treat others with concern and kindness keeping our emotions under control.

Galatians 6:1 “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”

We know we are sinners and we remember that we have/could easily fall into the same sin or another.

When we are leading our familes we treat them with the gentlesness of Jesus (truth in love). The goal is to lead others to Jesus not force them to obey. We aim for the heart not the actions.

(3) Patience (Be Patient)

The greek word here is makrothymia which literally means “a long time before one gets angry.”

In a rage culture we imitate our Lord, “slow to anger (Ex. 34:6)” (Long of Nostrils).

Jesus urges us to not be judgemental, “but social media encourages us to offer evaluations of others at a rate never before possible in human history.” The scriptures teach us, along with Jesus, that we should be slow to anger and quick to forgive, “but social media encourages the opposite.” (paraphrase of Jonathan Haidt, Anxious Generation, pg.217)

1 Thessalonians 5:14 “Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.”

You know every one of these people. How can you be patient with them and point them to Jesus?

(4) Tolerance (Put up with each other)

We practice humility, gentleness, and patience together not just in the short-term but we put up with one another and our faults long-term

“Bearing with one another in love (ESV)”

Sometimes we feel like Jesus in Mark 9:19 “Jesus said to them, “You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you?””

This is why we must be rooted in forgiveness.

In a world that cancels and dismisses anyone who disagrees with us or we label toxic we are to endure through difficult seasons and actions.

We need to learn to respect differences, overlook disagreements, and forgive slights. All in love. (Col 3:13)

Our Goal: Unity in Peace.

Path of least resistance?

Have you noticed that internet ads tell us we should want to all go to our seperate spaces and use our phones, laptops, and tablets to get away from each other? Think about how bored or annoyed the people are until they get their phone out to watch the clip or the tv on to watch the game. Peace becomes reduced to avoidance and isolation

We spend so much of our lives trying not to avoid conflict and annoyance and trade legacy and love for hollow entertainment.

Peace is work, but it brings a closeness and legacy that spans lifetimes and generations.

We MUST Make Every Effort.

This is essential. It is not a suggestion for Paul. Lives and familes are at stake.

Peace is something that must be pursued.

Being present in our families, church, and work takes work but is so important.

When we stifle our time with our families, church, and work colleagues we miss out on their presence and they miss out on yours. In the end all I have accomplished is raising my blood pressure.  

Making every effort means making every effort. What is it that you refuse to do?

We can make excuses all day long and justify our reasons OR we can choose to stop the excuses and pursue peace in our familes—leading them on the journey to ultimate peace—The peace that Jesus brings and will bring.