Philemon- From Forgiveness to Restoration

Theme: The Costlier Call of Gospel Grace

Key Text Focus: Verses 4-7, 15-16, 17-19

Map: This is the region of Colossae where Philemon and his household were

Genre & Structure: Philemon is a personal letter (epistle) from the Apostle Paul, the shortest book in the New Testament at only 25 verses. It's one of Paul's "Prison Epistles," written during his house arrest in Rome around 60-62 AD.

Key Players: We’re going to take the next four weeks and look at this letter from each of their unique perspectives. Paul - The apostle, writing from prison

Philemon - A wealthy Christian slave owner in Colossae, leader in the house church

Onesimus - Philemon's runaway slave who became a Christian under Paul's ministry

Apphia - Likely Philemon's wife

Archippus - Possibly their son, a church leader

Opening Illustration: The Prodigal Father or the Prodigal Son

There is a story in the gospel of Luke which many Bibles label "The Prodigal Son." The word 'prodigal' means someone who is wastefully extravagant or lavishly abundant. In the story found in Luke 15:11-32, a son demands his inheritance early, squanders it all, and eventually finds himself in squalor. He returns home, knowing that even his father's servants eat better than he does in his current situation. Understanding the cultural context deepens the story's impact. By asking for his inheritance before his father's death, the son essentially said, "Dad, I wish you were dead so I could have your money"—hardly earning "Child of the Year." For years, Bible committees have labeled this parable "The Prodigal Son," but I believe "The Prodigal Father" is more accurate. What happens when the son returns home would have left ancient Near Eastern listeners astonished.

After spending his entire inheritance, the son returns to his father ashamed, broke, and humbled. But before he even reaches home, Luke 15:20 tells us, "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." As the son tries to confess his sin, the father interrupts and says to his servants, Luke 15:22–24 "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."

"Wastefully extravagant or lavishly abundant"—this describes the father more than the son. The older brother was upset at his father's generosity toward his irresponsible younger brother, yet the father remained gracious and extravagantly kind to him as well. Tim Keller captures this idea in his book about this parable called "Prodigal God."

Our focus this morning on the book of Philemon highlights God's extravagant lavishness toward Onesimus. Philemon has the opportunity to act like the older brother who has been faithful and done everything right. We'll explore what it means for Philemon to welcome Onesimus back—not as a returning slave, but as a brother in the Lord with a divine purpose. As we examine Philemon from Philemon's perspective, we'll see God's heart not just for forgiveness but for true restoration.

If you have your Bibles or devices, please turn to the book of Philemon. If you are able and willing, would you stand with me as I read our text this morning? This is the word of the Lord. Let us pray. Amen.

Please be seated.

Main Points:

(v.4-7) Our Past Experience Forms Our Present Moment

Paul's strategic affirmation - your love and faith are already known

"Hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you"

The unspoken question: Did Onesimus experience this refreshing love? If the gospel transforms, why did he run? Or was he running from the conviction… the soil in his heart wasn’t tilled up enough to receive the word of God?

Modern application: God redeems us from our mistakes and can renew us for His purpose. How do we look at those who have had a past or have made bad choices, but now want to follow Jesus and be used of Him?

Do we only see the person for what they have done, or can we identify who God has made them and what capabilities God has equipped them for?

Background check came back

How can we look pass the apparent (the facade) and look deeper to see who God has made people to be and how God might use us to unlock some of those capabilities?

Paul didn’t take responsibility for Onesimus’ bad choice of running away, but he does take responsibility for advocating for him as he’s been transformed and changed.

(v.15-17)Forgiveness vs. Restoration - Understanding the Difference

: "I release my right to revenge and won't hold this against you" (internal/relational)… this is Jesus, not holding us to account for our sin- Forgiveness

God has shown us what forgiveness is:

Psalm 103:10–12 “he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Luke 23:34 “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.”

Jesus calls us to forgive and gives us reason to consider that we have been forgiven. If we’ve experienced the forgiveness of Jesus, we’re to extend that same forgiveness.

Teaching us to pray, Matthew 6:12 “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Matthew 6:14–15 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

As a pastoral note… this can take time. It’s not always immediate. I think it’s a work of the Spirit in our lives. It’s not something we can force, but we can allow the Spirit of God to work in us and bring us to that place of submission and yielding the offense done to us, or release the shame we heap on ourselves because of what we’ve done.

Forgiveness is a balm for our own soul. We don’t let people, situations, or things live in our head/heart rent free.

: "Receive him as you would receive me” (v.17)- full reinstatement with new vulnerability- Restoration

Restoration requires at least two people.

Restoration requires an admittance of wrong and a confession of that wrong that was committed. There is also a repentance that is necessary for reconciliation to happen.

At some point there might even need to be reparations depending on the circumstance.

Luke 19:1–9 “Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” // So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham.”

Restoration is witnessed by a legit demonstration of a heart change that translates to life change.

Restoration can not happen if there is no forgiveness, nor if there is not ownership by the offending person.

Forgiveness releases the past; restoration has the future in mind… but it takes two- The cost difference 

This is what we see Jesus do for us.

We are far off from God due to sin and playing God in our life, kicking him out.

Jesus not only extends the forgiveness of sin, but He reconciles us to God.

2 Corinthians 5:17–21 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. // We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

This is what Paul is also drawing on between Philemon and Onesimus.

Paul isn't asking for mere forgiveness - he's asking for complete relational restoration in their true identity!

So, Onesimus is presenting himself. He’s following Paul as he is following Jesus. He’s presenting himself out of obedience and out of a place and position of asking for forgiveness for no doubt taking something from Philemon.

This whole thing doesn’t work if Onesimus isn’t penitent and seen legitimate life change.

Paul is not wanting to use Onesimus or his gifts until Philemon consents (v14).

Paul then is asking whatever their might need for reconciliation, that Philemon would put it to his account (v.17-19)

But not just as someone who made a mistake and now needs to be restored to what he once was… NO! He is so much more, a brother in the Lord Jesus! (v.16-17)

There’s a cultural reality around slavery in the Biblical day. All sorts of reasons nations and people groups took slaves. Much of the Roman economy is built on slavery.

Paul didn’t go after the culture but went after the heart. If he got the heart the culture would change.

We speak truth to power, yes. When we have the ability to dismantle and take apart destructive and oppressive systems, we do it. When you are like me, who does not have that authority or power, I create shalom and equality right where I am.

I’m after your heart. I’m after God who is after your heart. He wants to change us and in that we become more like Jesus, life begins to not only well up in us, but God uses us as His vessels to be poured out on others.

We don’t have to play the game. Just because the world and culture is playing it, doesn’t mean we have to play it. When we choose to see people as image bearers as opposed to obstacles or means of getting things, it transforms the way we see them, the way they feel treated, and transforms everything.

(v.16-19)The True Cost of Restoration

Restoration is never cheap. For Philemon, welcoming Onesimus back meant more than just saying "you're forgiven." It meant:

Reimagining everything - A runaway slave becomes a beloved brother. How do you restructure your entire worldview?

Absorbing real losses - Paul offers to cover the debt, but what about the broken trust, the sleepless nights, the questions from neighbors?

Living with vulnerability - Every day forward carries the risk of being hurt again. Restoration requires choosing trust over self-protection.

Investing without guarantees - Time, emotional energy, reputation - all poured out with no promise of return.

The gospel doesn't offer us easy restoration. It offers us costly restoration - the kind that demands everything from everyone involved. But here's what makes it worth it: when we have the courage to pay that price together, grounded in love and genuine repentance, restoration doesn't just heal relationships - it rewrites the rules of how the world works.

Philemon's choice wasn't just about one slave. It was about whether the gospel has the power to transform the most broken, most impossible situations. When restoration costs us everything, that's when it changes everything.

Praise be to God that Jesus looked upon you and me and said, “It is worth it.” This is the good news that He has reconciled us unto God (while He still bears the scars, even today)… and He invites us to follow Him.

Gospel witness through restoration. What can happen between two people can be a powerful image of what Christ has done between us and Him (v.6, 20-22)

Understanding all of this, we can ask some Key Application questions:

What's the difference between forgiving someone and actually restoring them? Which is God calling you to?

How does your response to being wronged serve as discipleship for those watching you?

When is restoration wise vs. when are boundaries needed? How do we discern the difference?

Conclusion

When we opened this morning, we talked about the prodigal father - the one who was wastefully extravagant, lavishly abundant in his grace toward his returning son. That father didn't just offer forgiveness from a distance; he ran, embraced, robed, and restored. He absorbed the cost - the squandered inheritance, the community's whispers, the older brother's anger. Today, as we close, I want you to see that Philemon stands at the same crossroads that father faced. Onesimus is coming up the road, transformed but carrying the weight of his past. Paul is asking Philemon to be prodigal in his grace - wastefully extravagant, lavishly abundant in restoration.

But here's the beautiful truth: we serve the ultimate Prodigal God. While we were still a long way off - dead in our sins, having squandered our inheritance as image bearers - He saw us and was filled with compassion. He didn't just forgive us from heaven's throne room; He ran toward us in the person of Jesus Christ, absorbing every cost, bearing every scar, paying every debt. He robed us in righteousness, put the ring of sonship on our finger, and threw the feast of eternal life.

Now He calls us to follow His example. To be prodigal people - wastefully extravagant with grace, lavishly abundant in restoration. The question isn't whether it will cost us everything. The question is: will we trust that when restoration costs us everything, that's when it changes everything? Will we believe the gospel has power to transform the most broken, most impossible situations right in our own relationships, our own communities, our own hearts?

The Father looked at you and me and said, "It is worth it." Now He invites us to look at others - the Onesimus figures in our lives - and say the same. This is the costlier call of gospel grace.