A Christ-Centered Home
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Expository Preaching
Not merely preaching consecutively through a book or sections of a book of the Bible
Looking at a passage or verse, opening it up to understand fully what God is saying to us
The message does not change
Not a personal interpretation - Our God is not a God of confusion - but of clarity. Does not hide secrets. The Word of God is written for all to read. That is why we believe in the power of God’s Word.
Why preach consecutively through a book (or section of a book)?
Does not allow for a preacher to pick and choose his favorite passages or topics
It presents God’s word as it is delivered to us - in the format in which it was inspired
Does not permit the preacher to skip over the difficult passages
Hopefully, keeps the preacher accountable before his listeners. They, too should be able to plainly see what he sees in God’s word.
We all have blinders on. That’s what we pray for God to do. Remove the blinders and help us to see with precision what God is saying to us.
This is what we should desire of every man that stands behind the pulpit. You should not be interested on what “my take” is on any given passage. But what God is saying in His Holy-Spirit-inspired Word.
Colossians 3
Colossians 3
v.9 … put off the old self
v.10 Put on the new self
Because you have died to the old self and been made alive in Christ
We see things differently now. We are seeking the things above. “Set you mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Spiritual, good things, beautiful things. Not on the ways of this world.
3:5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you
[Col 3:12-17] Sets the stage for what follows.
Our passage, 3:18-4:1 Shows us how all of life, including the family / household should look in this “New Life” as it falls under the Lordship of Christ
Christ’s Lordship is mentioned 7 times
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
Let’s pray…
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
The Text
The Text
Importance of the Family In God’s Word
Importance of the Family In God’s Word
God’s design for the family is woven throughout the fabric of Scripture
Not an side not or incidental
The family unit has always been integral to society
Marriage was an institution given distinctly to those made in God’s image at creation
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
God created man and woman in His own image and gave them purpose
The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Institution / covenant: Marriage created by God before the fall
So it shouldn’t surprise us that the God’s Word refers to the family institution and gives us direction for what a family should look like living under God’s authority.
God’s instruction is always for our good - not arbitrary (God is never arbitrary, random or erratic)
The family unit is grounded in the Decalogue:
1. You shall have no other God’s before me; 2. Make no carved images or idols; 3. Do not take the Lord’s name in vain; 4. Remember the Sabbath
5. Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you
6. You shall not murder
7. You shall not commit adultery (The covenant of marriage is to remain sacred)
8. You shall not steal 9. You shall not bear false witness 10. You shall not covet
Marriage and family life is at the heart of who God has made us to be.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.
Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.
My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, (nothing!)
and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.
Qualifications for an elder:
He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
The list goes on…
Our passage this morning is no exception and gives directions (imperatives) to all those who might be found in a household
Wives
Husbands
Children
Fathers
Bondservants / Slaves / Servants
Masters
Eph 5 parallels Col 3 “Rules for Christian Households”. We’ll be going back and forth, so you might want to put your finger in Eph 5
Wives
Wives
v:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord
I recognize this is a sensitive subject.
I am not going to attempt to offer an apology for God’s Word
I am not looking to prop up my own particular slant -
What does it actually say?
Take all of scripture into consideration and don’t just point to one verse and create a theology or a practice or way of life around it
What other passaged can we find that mention how a wife should relate to her husband?
Begin with Eph 5 and read through it
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Here Paul reminds us that the husbands headship over his wife is grounded in creation (quotes Gen 2), and is a picture of Christ and His church
God created the institution of marriage - the most intimate relationship between to human beings - so that we might understand the love He has for His church - His people.
Please don’t let this ^^ pass you by
Marriage in our culture is mocked and belittled by many
Other verses that address the relationship between a wife and her husband:
and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
“Every passage that deals with the relationship of the wife to her husband tells her to “submit to” him, using this same Greek verb: hypotassō” RBMW
hypotasso: submit, be subject to,
“Put oneself under” the authority of. Listen to the list of how the Bible uses this same word for different relationships:
all believers are to submit to God: Heb 12:9, James 4:7
we are to submit to God’s Law: Rom 8:7 (the mind set on the flesh does not submit to God’s law)
the Church is to submit to Christ: Eph 5:24
all of us are to submit to governing authorities: Rom 13:1, Titus 3:1, 1 Pet 2:13
Christians in the local church are to submit to the elders of the church: 1 Cor 16:16
slaves are to submit to their masters: Titus 2:9, 1 Pet 2:18
young men are to submit to older men: 1 Pet 5:5
children are to submit to their parents: Luke 2:51
Submission is a hard word to swallow in our independent culture isn’t it?
A Christian life is one of submission. It is to fight against pride and arrogance.
Keeping Balance
Keeping Balance
It is extremely important to keep this all in balance:
We are always called to be obedient to Christ first and foremost.
A wife should not submit to her husbands will for her to sin!
No one should sin in order to obey the commandment to submit to anyone else.
We are called to love one another as Christ loved us and to show humility towards one another
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Where more appropriately would you find this attitude of the heart within a marriage.
Christians are called to submit to one another:
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but >>>> be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
As Christians we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
The wife should not submit to her husband because:
It is necessary for the order of society (and therefore only relevant for 1 century Greco-Roman society)
Women are incapable of leading a home and making wise decisions
We are not looking for human logic to justify something worldly
Wives should submit to their husbands because:
v.18 as is fitting in the Lord
It is the kind of behavior that is fitting to those who call on Christ as their saviour and Lord of their life
Wives submit to their husbands because they desire to be obedient to God’s word
Sometimes we choose to live in obedience to God even when we don’t fully understand why He commands something of us.
Sometimes, later on in our walk with God and with one another, we come to understand — where at one time we didn’t
That why we get together: Sundays, Bible Studies etc
Wives are to submit to their husbands in reverence for the role he has been given in the home, not because of any particular merit he has earned
She doesn’t say, “I’ll submit to my husband and respect him when he deserves it!”
Submission to others is ultimately a position of the heart
We are obedient to God because we worship Him. We listen to Him as a child who trusts their perfect and loving Father
God always has your best interest in mind. We know that for those who love God all things work for good.
Remember, Christ modelled submission for us:
Remember, Christ modelled submission for us:
For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.
And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
“I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.
but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us go from here.
Looking at Phil 2 again:
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Jesus Christ is our model. He submitted Himself to God the Father and His will, that He would submit Himself to human authority - to be nailed to a cross - for your benefit
Model yourself after Christ - humble yourself as He humbled Himself for you
What does it look like for a wife to submit to her husband?
What does it look like for a wife to submit to her husband?
A Godly wife is not a woman that is submissive like a dog who only moves when her husband says so, and a loving husband does not expect this of his wife. This is not the picture modelled for us in Scripture
Wives, you look to him as your shepherd - spiritual growth
Your husband has the ultimate say - talk it through
He has the burden of making the final call
This mirrors what took place in the Garden of Eden: Adam was given the role of keeping God’s commandment and protecting his family. Eve usurped the authority God gave to Adam. Adam is held responsible. Sin entered the world through one man...
Godly wives show respect - they do not belittle their husbands
Sitcoms / movies make men, particularly husbands and fathers out to be oafs
A Godly wife does not try to manipulate or coerce her husband
She does not do things behind her husband’s back
Does not complain about her husband to other’s behind his back
Or in front of others
Model yourself after Christ - humble yourself as He humbled Himself for you
This leads us directly into how the husband should treat his wife: The wives submission to her husband, and the husbands love for his wife.
Husbands
Husbands
v.19 Husband love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
“Love” - agapaō: sacrificial, self-giving love
“Involves a deep level of affection and intimacy.” Lexham
“Describes Jesus love for people; the Father’s love for Jesus; how Christians are called to love God; love for one’s neighbour; and even one’s enemy”
Christ-like love
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
What does it look like for a husband to love his wife?
What does it look like for a husband to love his wife?
Men, we are to love our wives with a sacrificial love
Put your wife and family first (after God)
Seek her best interest just as Christ sought yours
“I lead my home for the benefit of my wife and children no matter how costly it is to me.” Paul Washer
Life choices: my dreams, aspirations
Don’t abandon your family to chase a career / hobby
Show your love for your wife - she should hear your love for her in your voice, in the way you speak to her
Listen and respect your wife’s opinions
Male headship is about spiritual leadership - not about ruling the home with an iron fist to get your way.
Be the strength in the family - stand up for your wife and children. Do not allow the world to consume them. Protect them. You are the spiritual leader in the home.
Recognizes when something is wrong in the home / unbiblical - do something about it
Starts with your behavior
Christ is always the model for what it means to be a biblical man
Men and Women are Equal In God’s Eyes
Men and Women are Equal In God’s Eyes
Men and women are equal in the eyes of God. This is crystal clear in Scripture. At the time the NT was written, this would have been controversial. Christianity opens the way for women to be seen as equal in society. To our ears this may sound strange.
For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.
Paul is not eradicating the lines between male and female - he’s not saying there are no differences. He’s saying, in the eyes of God, as Christians, adopted into the family of God, we are all equal.
Peter says something similar:
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Weaker vessel: recognize that women are not made the same as men
“Heirs with you” - men and women were created equal from the beginning
equal but different - complimentary:
on a fundamental level, man cannot live without a woman / woman cannot live without a man
Made differently and uniquely, but both in the image of God
All are “heirs” with one another in the inheritance of the Son of God
Thoughts
Thoughts
I heard someone say this earlier on this week: “We told an entire generation that truth was relative, and reality was optional, and morality was subjective, and we’re surprised that it hasn’t worked out for us?”
We are not unique. Whenever a nation or culture turns away from God, we see the erosion of the family. That’s the story of the OT. All the OT families struggled
God’s Word challenges us to look at our world differently. As Christians, we have been given new eyes, and the way we see everything has changed. Just as Christ came to flip the world on its head in the 1st century, He continues to do so now. The words that Jesus spoke as He preached the good news were just as shocking then as they are now. The gospels that were recorded for us, letters that Paul wrote, were just as controversial then as they are now.
We are looking to be shaped by the gospel in every aspect of our lives - and it begins in the home.
Wives submitting to their husbands, and husbands loving their wives is more a position of the heart than a poster perfect picture of a 1950’s marriage.
What a biblical marriage and home looks like plays itself out differently according to each family’s situation. A 1st century marriage in Roman ruled Colossae looks different from a marriage in Victorian England, or 1930s America during the depression. A man may be in a wheelchair unable to work, a wife may not be able to have children. A marriage and family looks different in every home around the world and across all epochs of time. But the basic principals of what Christ has called for a home does not change.
We are being transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are learning to see and live life with a Christ-like attitude. It doesn’t happen overnight.
Being a Christian and aiming to live a Christian life is a battle. We have been redeemed, but we are still sinful. We are fighting a battle against the sin within ourselves.
“I submit myself to you Jesus. I call on you to be Lord of my life.” It’s a battle we fight every day.
What does a Christian family look like?
What does a Christian family look like?
You are a family who is looking up!
You, husbands, are not looking down on your wife and children and demanding obedience and submission.
You are looking up at Christ. You are submitting yourself to the Lordship of Christ and in doing so, you are taking on the servant-leadership role in your home, and at work, and in the church.
You, wives, are looking up at Christ, and you are looking up to, and submitting to, your husband who is looking to Christ.
