Gentleness

Introduction

Normally I’m preaching in Team 3 services, and one of the things that is really hard is keeping my sermons short! I have to keep my sermons short because the kids start to get bored and distracted by around 10 minutes. But today is a great day because I get to preach to an adult audience, and that means I can preach as long as I want! But I promise it won’t be too long because I know from myself that adults have short attention spans as well.

We are continuing through the fruits of the Holy Spirit today, and the fruit that we will talk about today is gentleness. The Greek word for ‘gentleness’ is a word that is much richer and deeper in meaning than the English word. In Korean, it is usually translated as ‘온유함’, but in English, it’s not just translated as ‘gentleness’, but also ‘meekness’, ‘humility’, ‘courtesy’. And we will look at how the fullness of this word - this fruit of the Spirit - is used in the Bible today.

So the way I have been structuring my sermons with Team 3 for the fruits of the Holy Spirit has been really simple. I always talk about (1) what the fruit of the Spirit means for God, and (2) what the fruit of the Spirit means for us. And I’m going to follow that same structure today.

So today’s sermon will have 3 main points:

(1) How gentleness relates to God

(2) How gentleness relates to us vertically. By this I mean what gentleness means for our relationship with God.

(3) How gentleness relates to us horizontally. By this I mean what gentleness means for our relationship with each other.

So let’s dive straight into it.

1. Gentleness is God’s very heart

So the first point - how does gentleness relate to God? Gentleness is the very heart of Christ. When the Bible talks about the ‘heart’, it is talking about more than just emotions. The word ‘heart’ in the Bible is talking about the very centre of our inner lives. It is a word which describes all our deepest thoughts, motivations, desires, emotions, our will, and spirit. The heart is not a part of who we are, but the centre of who we are.

How well do you know your own heart? The reality is, we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do, let alone the hearts of others. But there is a remarkable truth in the Christian faith: the transcendent God who sits high above the heavens, reveals the deepest most intimate part of himself to us - his very own heart.

Read Matthew 11:28–29 “28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Dave Ortlund in his book Gentle and Lowly, writes something really interesting. In the four Gospel accounts given to us in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John - 89 chapters in total - this is the one place where Jesus tells us about his own heart. We learn so much about Jesus’s life, his miracles, and his teachings. But only in this one passage in Matthew, do we learn about Jesus’s own heart - who He is, what drives him, what motivates him, what his attitude is towards us. And that is he is gentle and lowly in heart.

What does it mean that Jesus is gentle and lowly?

Read Isaiah 40:11 “11 He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.”

The gentleness of Jesus means that his attitude towards us is not harsh, it is not reactionary, it is not easily frustrated or exasperated. It is not a posture of pointing a finger, but it is a posture of open arms, of a warm embrace. Jesus is compassionate, understanding of our sin and weakness. He is the Good Shepherd leading his flock; he is like a mother nursing and embracing her children. He is the most understanding and most invitational person in the universe. No matter how much we mess up or push him away, He is always there with open arms, welcoming us to return.

Let’s also read Zechariah 9:9 “9 Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

Gentleness also describes the humility of Jesus. When the Bible talks about humility, it is not a virtue or a compliment. Humility in the Bible is talking about the socially unimpressive, those who are outcasts or looked down upon in society, those who are poor and lowly. And this verse in Zechariah shows us the humility of Jesus - though he truly was king, he didn’t decide to come as a conqueror on a golden chariot. He chose to come, humble and mounted on a donkey. He was willing to become low to save the lowly like us. The humility of Jesus means he is accessible. He is the true God in the heavens, but he makes himself so easily approachable and accessible to lowly beings like us.

That’s why Jesus says ‘Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’. His gentleness means you don’t need to work your way to Christ; you don’t need to be good enough; you don’t need to make a payment. Christ is gentle - he is humble, accessible, waiting there with open arms. Christ says ‘Come as you are’. All we need to do is open our hearts to him and come to him. And to those who come, He promises rest.

He promises rest from our labour. All the work that we relentlessly do in vain, to find some sort of temporary security or meaning in our lives. All the pursuits we feel pressured to undertake, because of the pressures of society. Jesus says, ‘Come, and I will give you rest.’

He promises rest to those who are heavy laden. All those things that weigh us down in our lives beyond our control: family issues, health issues, financial problems, relationship issues. Whatever it may be, He says ‘Come, and I will give you rest.’

In this life, we are so restless. We are all on different quests and pursuits. We all have goals that we are trying to achieve, whether they be lofty ambitious goals, or whether we are just trying to get by and survive. And although these things may be joyful and exciting from time to time, the reality is that overall, life is tiring and exhausting.

The famous theologian Augustine said this famous phrase: ‘Because you have made us for Yourself, our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You.’

Is your heart restless? Are you burdened and exhausted by life’s multiple demands, pressures, and stresses? Jesus says, ‘Come to me, and I will give you rest.’ We were made to be in relationship with God, and the gentleness of Christ invites you into his loving arms today. Respond to that invitation, and experience the wonderful peace and rest that you can find only in Christ.

2. Gentleness - the vertical

The second point is, how does gentleness relate to us vertically? What does gentleness mean for our relationship with God?

In our vertical relationship, the better translation of the Greek word would actually be ‘meekness’.

Let’s read Matthew 5:5 “5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

What is meekness?

Meekness is a difficult word.

Meekness is someone who realises who they are, and realises who God is. They realise their humble position in life, that they are unable to control or influence the circumstances of their life. They realise their sin and unworthiness before God.

But meekness is also someone who realises the greatness of God - they mourn their sin, depend on God, and turn to God as their only hope.

And what does that lead to? A humble complete submission and obedience to God - the willingness to submit your life to God’s purposes and directions and teachings, rather than living according to our own desires and agendas. It does not mean that you are weak or powerless; it is redirecting the power and resources you have for God and his kingdom. It is not an absence of assertiveness, but it is the absence of self-assertion.

The Greek word for ‘meekness’ is often used to talk about taming wild animals - the animals still have their power and strength, but they have learned to control their instincts and they learn to live in harmony with their owners.

So meekness is a complete submission to God, the abandonment of your own agendas, living in obedience to God even if that path is difficult or clashes with your own desires.

A good example of meekness is Moses. Let’s read Numbers 12:3 “3 Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.”

Moses wasn’t actually always a meek man. He wasn’t always obedient, he was quite combative, and it took 40 years of suffering and training in the wildnerness for him to develop this fruit of meekness.

But his later ministry demonstrated true meekness. When God called him, he knew he faced a difficult road ahead, he knew he didn’t have the skills to do it. And yet he accepted God’s will and obeyed.

He patiently and repeatedly warned Pharaoh. He listened to the bitter complaining of Israel and put up with their disobedience for decades. And yet he was still obedient to the path God had given him.

Moses submitted completely to the will of God, even though things seemed impossible and didn’t make sense to him. He did not assert his own agenda, and instead he was solely focused on God’s agenda.

And what is the blessing for meekness? Matt 5:5 tells us that ‘they shall inherit the earth.’ The kingdom of God is made up of those who submit their lives to God - they are the ones who will inherit the new heavens and the new earth.

3. Gentleness - the horizontal

And the third point is how does gentleness relate to us horizontally? What does gentleness mean for our relationship with one another?

If you look up the Greek word of ‘gentleness’, it is defined as ‘the quality of not being too focused on your own self-importance.’ Gentleness is a deep sense of humility - gentleness genuinely considers others more important than yourself. Gentleness is self-forgetfulness. Gentleness puts away all selfishness and self-entitlement. So the opposite of gentleness is not roughness or toughness - the opposite of gentleness is self-centredness.

And Paul really models for us this kind of gentleness to the Corinthian church. When faced with all the disobedience and fighting in the Corinthian church, this is what Paul says:

1 Corinthians 4:21 “21 What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?”

Paul describes two ways you can treat people - with the rod, or with gentleness. And later on in the letter, it is clear that Paul chose gentleness despite all his frustrations and the wrongdoing of the Corinthians. Read 1 Corinthians 9:19–22 “19 For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. 20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. 21 To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.”

Paul demonstrates this self-forgetful gentleness here. In this passage, Paul abandons all his privileges, all his rights. His mindset is not one of self-centredness but radical other-person centredness, because he desires to be a servant by completely identifying with those around him. Paul was not only willing to understand others, but he was willing to become all things to all people - he was willing to change himself to become what would benefit them. Paul’s gentleness is not just an attitude, but it is proactive, actively works for the benefit of others.

Paul’s gentleness means that he is not inflexible to those different to him. He is not intolerant to those that disagree with him. He does not assert his own ways to those who have different ways. He is flexible and willing to change himself for the sake of others, not because he is weak or spineless, but because he wholeheartedly considers others more important than himself - this is the true humility, self-abandonment, and self-forgetfulness that gentleness shows.

How often do we distance ourselves, or have conflict with those who are different to us? How often do we let differences and disagreements strain our relationships within the church? How often do we let our frustrations and anger control the way we relate to others? How often we fixate on how I feel and my priorities? In the face of differences and disagreements, we are so inflexible, unwilling to change ourselves, unwilling to compromise or back down because we think we are right, unwilling to forgive and closing our minds off because we think we have been wronged, because we think we deserve better.

But what does Paul say in response? Forget yourself. Abandon all self-importance. Abandon all self-righteousness. Abandon all self-centredness. Because this is not the spirit of gentleness; this is the spirit of self-centredness. Biblical gentleness is truly radical because it is blind to our own needs and only sees the needs of others.

So let me ask you, what is the Christian life you have been walking? Is your life characterised by the self-sacrifice, other-person centredness, and self-forgetfulness? Or is it characterised by self-importance, self-assertion, and self-centredness?

When you hear this, it’s easy to feel discouraged because it feels too hard. You may feel challenged, or you may even feel defensive. This kind of gentleness seems impossible. But Paul shows us there is a way - that is to have the heart of Christ. Remember, Christ’s very heart is gentle. In Philippians 2:6-8, Paul describes how Christ took on flesh even though He was God. Christ’s gentle heart expresses itself in this radical other-person centredness that abandons all self-importance. And then, this is what Paul says: read Philippians 2:5 “5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,”

Paul commands us to have the same mind - Paul commands us to have the same heart of Christ in our lives. It is something that we must do. We must put in effort to have the gentle heart of Christ - it doesn’t happen passively or automatically.

But at the same time, Paul tells us that this heart is ours in Christ Jesus. When God saves us by faith, he spiritually unites us to Christ himself by the Holy Spirit, so that the Spirit produces this fruit of gentleness in us. This gentleness cannot come from ourselves - it is foreign and alien. It must come from outside us from God himself.

So it’s a combination of the two - God’s work in us, but our own efforts as well. We don’t just sit there doing nothing. God commands us to proactively adopt the same heart. We have to practice gentleness to one another even if its hard, we have to cultivate that heart within us by practicing patience and love especially in times of difficulty and conflict. And God uses our efforts to grow this fruit of radical gentleness in our lives.

We must rely on Christ even in our efforts. Because this gentleness is something that is divine and comes from heaven above, impossible for us to produce on our own. Anyone in this world can be gentle. But it is only God who can produce in us the same radical gentleness that Christ showed that completely forgets the self. And it is only when we show this radical gentleness of Christ to one another, that we as a church can be united in the Spirit in a bond of peace, truly different and set apart from the world, and truly be salt and light.

Conclusion

I want to finish by looking at this last Bible verse. Let’s read Luke 6:45 “45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

This verse tells us that what we say, and by extension what we do, reflects what’s in our hearts.

What is in your heart today? What have your words and actions said about your own heart?

Has it been a heart of gentleness, forgetting and abandoning yourself, and focusing on the needs of others? Have you said loving, encouraging, edifying words? Are you willing to change yourself and be flexible to encourage and benefit others?

Or have you said things that sow division, cause conflict, things that cause sadness and temptation in others, things that pull down others’ reputation? Have you done things that prioritises your own rights and feelings and desires, above others?

Paul tells us today: have the heart of Christ. Have the same mind as Christ. Have the same gentleness of Christ that made him willing to become a lowly servant for your benefit. So I challenge you, today:

Let us be gentle to those we find especially hard to love. Let’s forget and abandon our personal feelings towards them, and be loving, compassionate, and embracing towards them.

Let put aside our rights and privileges, especially to those who impinge upon our rights. Let us speak and act genuinely for their benefit, despite the wrongs they have done to us.

Let us reach out, call, engage, reconcile with people, especially those that are different to us or have had conflict with us.

Let’s step out of our comfort zones, let’s step out of our echo chambers, let’s go beyond spending time with only the people that are like us, that agree with us, that relate to us. Let’s overcome divisions and factions within the church with the gentleness of Christ.

And we do all this because that is what Christ has done for us in his incarnation and his death on the cross.

This is the will of Christ for you. This is the gentleness we need to submit to God’s will. And this is the kind of gentleness that God uses to give others true rest. Put on the yoke of Christ, have the heart of Christ, learn from him, and as ambassadors of Christ, show that same gentleness to others in your life today.