What to Do When a Setback Makes You Feel Like Quiting

Intro

Maybe you will agree with me that it's always easier to start something, than it is to finish it, right? It's easier to get into something, than it is to get out. It’s easier to get into trouble than it is to get out of trouble. (Kelly’s Heroes) It's easier to fill your schedule, than it is to fulfill your schedule. It's easier to get into debt, than it is to get out of debt. It's easy to make a commitment, it's harder to keep a commitment.

Life is more of a marathon, not a sprint. Time goes on and on and as time goes on, people begin to thin out. I used to run races 5K & 10K. At the beginning, it’s crowded, but as the race progresses, it thins out. The reason why is that in the race of life we have setbacks and that’s why we are doing this series. Life isn’t easy. My goal in this series is for you, me… all of us to finish strong.

This life is about God building our character to make us more and more like Jesus. But that is not always easy. We experience things that happen in a broken world because we live in a broken world. Since we live in a broken world which throws setbacks at us… the enemy of our lives will use the weapon of discouragement to keep us from developing our character. Discouragement can be deadly because it gets us off track.

Discouragement is common… we all get discouraged at times. I have helped people… they have called for help… we help and then they go to anther church - that’s discouraging. Discouragement doesn’t just happen once, it happens many times in our life. You may have come here today and you are discouraged.

Today we will look at a story that will illustrate both the causes and cures for discouragement, and it will teach us what to do when we feel like quitting.

The story of Nehemiah is actually the story about rebuilding the wall to Jerusalem. They had been exiled from the land of Israel for 70 years in captivity in Babylon. This was during the time of Daniel. After 70 years, they were allowed to return to Jerusalem and it was a mess. The walls had been destroyed. In those times, a wall protected you from danger. Thier mission was to rebuild the wall because when the wall was in tack, they would be ok to rebuild their homes and businesses.

At first, they worked with great enthusiasm and they quickly rebuilt the wall to half it’s height. But then the enthusiasm began to wear off. And they became discouraged. We will look at the four causes of discouragement they experienced and how God brings us back from those.

Nehemiah 4:6–12 NLT

6 At last the wall was completed to half its height around the entire city, for the people had worked with enthusiasm. 7 But when Sanballat and Tobiah and the Arabs, Ammonites, and Ashdodites heard that the work was going ahead and that the gaps in the wall of Jerusalem were being repaired, they were furious. 8 They all made plans to come and fight against Jerusalem and throw us into confusion. 9 But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves. 10 Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.” 11 Meanwhile, our enemies were saying, “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work.” 12 The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, “They will come from all directions and attack us!”

We are going to look at the four common causes of discouragement we see in this story.

4 Setbacks That Can Cause Discouragement

Notice in vs. 6, that the wall was built to half it’s height. Typically, discouragement will not set in at the beginning, it sets in about half way through something.

A race - you can’t see the finish line

A home project - you decide to paint a room… it’s always more than you bargined for.

College - for me it was Seminary… it wasn’t that it was hard, it was the grind if finishing. working for coke helped me see the light

Mid life crisis -

1. When something takes longer than expected. It causes fatigue.

You just get tired. These guys were working hard, and they got about half way done and they were tired.

Nehemiah 4:6 NLT

6 At last the wall was completed to half its height around the entire city, for the people had worked with enthusiasm.

Look what happened next.

Nehemiah 4:10 NLT

10 Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.”

They saw that there was so much to do and they didn’t believe they could do it. Some of you here today are looking at all you have to do and are saying… there is so much to do… Maybe you are having trouble sleeping. When you don’t sleep it’s like being impaired chemically. When you are tired you can’t even think straight. Study after study shows Americans are sleep deprived and that can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion.

Last time, I mentioned that Vince Lombardi said that Fatigue makes cowards out of all of us. This is especially true when things take longer that you expect. The amazing thing is that after you experience a good night’s sleep … everything gets better. That’s why God created the Sabbath… every 6 days you take a day off. It doesn’t really matter what day it is… you just need a day of rest. the Sabbath was made for man… not the other way around. (Matt 2:27) In Agriculture, farmers will rotate their crops because they know a field that’s rested will produce a greater harvest.

How many of you like a break at work? All of us right? I remember I used 5 min of my break on one job for a quick nap. If you like breaks, you owe it to a guy named, Frederick Taylor. In 1893 he did a study in Steel Mills and discovered that workers accomplihsed more when they tool regular breaks. Our best requires rest.

When you are tired or exhausted, you are more susceptible to all sorts of things including attacks from other people. When you are fresh and full of energy… bring it on. But when you are tired, it gets to you.

Deuteronomy 25:18 NLT

18 They attacked you when you were exhausted and weary, and they struck down those who were straggling behind. They had no fear of God.

When you are tired and lag behind, that’s when Satan will attack. PK always says the banana that gets away from the Bunch gets peeled. Maybe you make a bad decision… do something stupid…

2. When something is more complicated than expected. It causes frustration.

IOW, you begin a project and not only is it taking longer than you thought, it’s a lot harder or more complicated than you expected. How long a project takes can cause fatigue, but how complicated one is can cause frustration. Both fatigue and frustration can cause discouragement.

Have you ever decided to clean out your office or files… and ended up putting it all back?

Have you ever decided to clean out your closet … finally you just left it all in there?

If you have ever tried to remodel something, you will be amazed at how much has to be removed and hauled away. Anytime you are building something… a career, a business, a project, a life… you’re going to have debris that has to be removed. And that can be frustrating because the project will take longer and be more complicated than you expected.

Look what happened in our story…

Nehemiah 4:10 NLT

10 Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.”

There is so much rubble to be removed…

The walls have been torn down and there is junk and garbage everywhere. They can’t even get to the wall to work on it before they remove all the junk. They got discouraged because there was so much junk that had to be removed.

You may not realize it, but we have rubble in our lives too. emotional… relational… material … addictions…

Let me give you some rules for rubble…

1. Rubble is part of life.

You can’t avoid it, you have to deal with it. You will have piles of rubble build up in your life and the bigger the pile the tireder and more frustrated you will be.

2. You have to clean out the rubble periodically

If you don’t it will take over. You take out the emotional trash by confessing to the Lord.

3. If you don’t deal with it, it will take over.

I don’t know how, but trash multiplies when you are not looking. All of a sudden you go… where did this come from? How did the dishes pile up so quickly? How did the clothes pile up so quickly?

4. You don’t always recognize rubble in your life.

Other people see it even when you don’t. Other people see the stuff we allow to hang around in our lives.

There's some stuff you need to clean out and clear out in your life, some activities, some relationships, some things, some events, some bad attitudes, some wrong thoughts, some misconceptions, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual rubble in your life that you need to clear out. And too often we don’t see it, but others do. This is why those clean out shows were so popular.

Think about this,

What is the rubble in your life?

What keeps tripping you up? Is it a misconception, an attitude, maybe a habit, a relationship… it’s stuff that keeps tripping you up. Rubble can be the trivia that wastes your time, wastes your energy, and keeps you from accomplishing what is most important.

What do you need to do? Tell God about the rubble in your life.

Psalm 25:16 LBP

16 Come, Lord, and show me your mercy, for I am helpless, overwhelmed, in deep distress;

If you're feeling helpless, overwhelmed, and in deep distress, in your life right now because of something that's holding you back, that's rubble, and you need to deal with it. 

We're going to look at a cure in just a second, but here is another setback.

3. When I start to doubt my own ability. It causes me to feel like a failure.

Add fatigue, frustration to feeling like a failure and it’s getting serious. You are getting more and more discouraged. Look at what happened in

Nehemiah 4:10 NLT

10 Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.”

They have built half of the wall. Why all of a sudden did they decide that could not finish it? All of a sudden they are filled with self doubt, discouragement and think that they can’t do it. Why?

Have you ever felt that way? Why did I take that job? marry that person? make this move? You second guess yourself and become filled with self doubt.

They began a good work, but it took longer than they expected, and was more difficult than they expected and now they have lost all confidence that they can complete the job.

How do you react when your plans don’t work out the way you thought? How do you react when something takes longer than you thought? or is more complicated than you thought?

Do you start having a pity party?

Do you start complaining? It’s impossible. I just can’t make ends meet… I can’t beat this addiction…

Do you blame other people?

If at first you don’t succeed you’re normal. No one succeeds at first. Successful people see failure as a temporary setback. This series is about trusting God to turn setbacks into comebacks.

4. When the opposition grows stronger. It causes fear.

When you start something probably nobody cares or often even notices. But as you make changes in your life… stop drinking, gambling, using drugs, improving your marriage, parenting your kids better… the opposition will grow.

Your friends you did drugs with or drank with don’t want you to stop.

The ones who have bad marriages don’t want to see you have a good one. Misery loves company.

The ones whose kids will probably see pastor Kathy at some point don’t want yours to be successful

The moment you begin to grow, the opposition will grow and that can cause fear.

So now you have fatigue, frustration, failure and fear. That’s enough to make most quit.

Let me give you the background of this. There were enemies in and around Jerusalem who had moved in when the Jews had been taken captive and moved to Babylon for 70 years. And when the Jews were allowed to come back to their homeland, they did not want the Jews moving back, and two, they did not want the wall rebuilt around the city because it couldn't be attacked, it couldn't be taken advantage of, they couldn’t victimize the people. And so, the enemy tribes around Jerusalem had a number of tactics they used. And if you go read the book of Nehemiah, here's what they did.

1. They criticized them.

They told them that they couldn’t do it. You can’t do that… you don’t measure up… you’re not good enough.

2. They made fun of them.

Anyone like being made fun of? I didn’t think so. Nobody likes being the brunt of someone’s jokes.

3. They threatened them.

They actually said, we are going to kill you. Take a look.

Nehemiah 4:11 NLT

11 Meanwhile, our enemies were saying, “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work.”

The threat of death is a legitimate reason to be afraid. It would be pretty hard to work with that looming over your head. Notice this next verse and who got discouraged first.

Nehemiah 4:12 NLT

12 The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, “They will come from all directions and attack us!”

They were listening to the enemy and not to God. So they go to the workers and say that they will come from all directions and kill us. This is the power of repetition. You hear something enough and you begin to believe it. Politicians use this on us all the time.

If you are discouraged, stop filling your mind with negative words from TV, Radio, Social Media. If everything you are listening to is bad, then you need to listen to something else.

What fear is causing you to become discouraged? fear of criticism? failure? embarrassment? that you are not capable? that you can’t handle the pressure? that if somebody knew the real you, they wouldn’t like you? That you have to be perfect? All of these come as a result of sin in a broken world.

What’s God’s cure when you feel like quitting? like getting away… Where can you find the strength to make a comeback?

Philippians 1:6 NLT

6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

God will give you the desire to live like he wants and the power to do it. so let’s look at God’s solutions.

What Should I do When I Feel Like Giving Up? Do the three things Nehemiah did.

1. Reorganize whatever is not working.

Maybe something in your life, maybe something in your family, maybe something in your business, in your job. You may be doing the right thing but in the wrong way. A lot of times when we get discouraged at what we're doing, we say, "Well I must be doing the wrong thing."

No, you may be doing the right thing, you're just doing it in the wrong way, and God says, "I want you to do it differently. Keep doing what you're doing, just do it differently.

Nehemiah 4:13 NLT

13 So I placed armed guards behind the lowest parts of the wall in the exposed areas. I stationed the people to stand guard by families, armed with swords, spears, and bows.

Nehemiah reorganized how they were working. He made half to work on the wall and the other half to stand guard. They kept doing the work of rebuilding the wall, they just organized the work differently.

Whatever you're discouraged at right now doesn't necessarily mean you need to stop doing it, doesn't mean you're doing the wrong thing, it may mean you're doing it in the wrong way. Nehemiah didn’t stop working on the wall, he just did it differently.

Maybe you need to change the way you schedule things. Maybe you need to change your diet… change the way you relate to people. It’s natural to just want to give up on the dream and quit. So maybe you have some problems right now, you don’t quit what you are doing. You make adjustments.

Debt - re-organize your spending.

Out of shape - reorganize your eating and exercise patterns.

Over committed - reshape your schedule.

Where do you need to do what Nehemiah did? Reorganize whatever isn’t working.

Nehemiah organized them by families. Why is that important? It provided support. One of the reasons you may be discouraged is that you are trying to handle things alone.

Hebrews 10:25 CEV

25 Some people have gotten out of the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord’s coming is getting closer.

Make sure to have people in your life that encourage you. Next…

2. Refocus on God.

Nehemiah 4:14 NLT

14 Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!”

Underline remember the Lord. What he is saying is that they had become so busy working for the Lord they forgot the Lord.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you forgotten the Lord who you are working for? Have you ever gotten so busy doing God’s work that you forgot His work in you?

What we need to do when this happens to refocus ourselves on the Lord. We need spiritual resources so we have to refocus on God.

Here is what we need to remember when we become discouraged.

When we are discouraged, we need to remember God’s goodness to me in the past, His Closeness to me now, and His power for me in the future.

Get your mind off the discouraging circumstances and refocus by remembering God’s goodness, His closeness and His power. Discouragement is a feeling and if you want to change how you feel, you have to change what you are thinking about. Just in case you think you have it bad, Jonah had been thrown overboard and swallowed up by a great fish. Look what he said,

Jonah 2:7 LBP

7 “When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the Lord. And my earnest prayer went to you in your holy Temple.

That’s what we need to do. If you are feeling hopeless, turn thoughts to God. David’s antidote was the same.

Psalm 119:25 LBP

25 I am completely discouraged—I lie in the dust. Revive me by your Word.

The WOG will revive us. If you are discouraged, get into the WOG. QT… Never spend more time on Social media than you spend in the WOG. The WOG will refresh you.

3. Resist the discouragement.

This is a choice you have to make. You can give into it, or you can fight it. You wil have to resist the discouragement.

Nehemiah 4:14 NLT

14 Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!”

Don’t ever give in without a fight.

Wrap UP

We are in a spiritual battle that you have to fight or not fight every day of your life. It’s not a playground, it’s a battlefield. Now the war has been won by Jesus on the Cross, but we have daily battles to fight and win. Satan would love to neutralize you with by discouraging you or by distracting you. James 4:7 “7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

We are at war with negative thoughts, negative forces, negative emotions, etc. All these are trying to discourage you from becoming who God wants you to become.

Discouragement is a choice.

You don’t have to be discouraged. The reason you are discouraged is that you are listening to discouraging thoughts. That’s your choice, but it you want to not be discouraged, you have to change your thoughts. The difference between great acheivers and not great achievers… Great achievers have a lot of determination… they just won’t quit.

If God is going to use us the way He wants to, we cannot quit when we become fatigued… when we are frustrated … or even when you are fearful. You just choose to keep going. Reorganize what’s not working, refocus on God, and resist discouragement. It’s your choice. You are discouraged because you are thinking discouraging thoughts, but you don’t have to think those.

What’s unfinished in your life? Is there a relationship you need to reconcile? maybe a relationship you need closure on? Maybe it’s unfinished business with the Lord. Is there something you know god wants to do in your life that you have been resisting?

You can change all that tonight with a decision followed by some action.

What’s makeing you feel discouraged?

Fatigue? Maybe yo need some rest.

Frustration?

Rubble in your life? Maybe you need to do some reorganizing.

Remember the Lord

He loves you.

He is close to you.

He is powerful.

Fear

Resist the Devil - Resist his discouragement.

Fight for your future… family, marriage, job…

Don’t give up. The answer may be just around the corner.

Pray

Father, I know that there are a lot of people who are discouraged here today because of fear, or frustration, or fatigue, or a sense failure. And some are tired and worn out, and some are feeling like it's taking longer than I thought it would take, and some are thinking it's more complicated than I thought it would be, and some are saying, but people are attacking me and I'm being criticized for what I'm trying to do, and some are scared and think, I might lose my job, I might even lose my life, and there's all kinds of fears that come into our lives. Help us to do what Nehemiah did.

Lord, today, I want to I want to refocus on you. I want to refocus on you, I want to remember the Lord, your goodness to me in the past. I want to remember that you're with me right now. I want to remember that you're going to give me the power in the future.

And Lord, I need the strength to reorganize, and not give up on what I'm doing, but do it in a new way, so I'm not so frustrated, and I'm not so fatigued, that I don't feel like a failure, that I am not afraid. Help me to clean out the rubble in my life and help me to see what that is. Maybe there's a relationship that's holding me back, or I’ve got too many things I'm doing, I need to simplify my life, and simplify my budget, and simplify my lifestyle and so many other things.

Help me to remember the Lord and reorganize my life. And Lord, I'm asking you to give me the power to resist the discouragement and to fight for my future, and to fight for my family, and to fight for my career, and fight for my dreams, and to not just give in. Help me to remember that when I'm discouraged, that's a choice, that I don't have to remember those thoughts, that I can trust in you.

Salvation prayer