Gods Design, Marriage, Singleness and Children
The Book of Matthew • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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In March 20th 1928 there was a man born named Fred Rogers. Fred Rogers was born and raised in Pennsylvania and he never married or had children. However Fred had a passion and a desire to impact the lives of Children. Fred who was also an ordained minister looked at the children's entertainment shows and he was not satisfied with the quality or content of the shows. Fred decided to dedicate his life to use the medium of television to be a tool for Good and to impact children in a positive way. Fred eventually started a show called Mr Rogers neighborhood where he would positively impact kids all over the world eventually reaching millions.
Today we are going to talk about how we can be used to Glorify God no matter our relational or societal status.
The Big Idea- God values all of us and we are to Glorify Him with our lives.
The Big Idea- God values all of us and we are to Glorify Him with our lives.
Take Aways
Take Aways
God designed marriage to be for life from the beginning.
Those with the gift of singleness Glorify God by committing their lives to Him.
Children are to be valued and poured into.
Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.
And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.
Here at the beginning of the passage Jesus was doing what he was sent to do, the same thing that He proclaimed to His parents as a 12 year old boy. He was about His fathers business. Jesus was healing, ministering and proclaiming the good news of the Kingdom of Heaven.
Jesus is showing the perfect model of what we should be found doing.
God calls us to do a work based on the giftings and opportunities that he has given us.
He has not called us to be observers and spectators, but he has given each of us a role in this story.
As believers we are called to a work. Ephesians 2:10
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
If you were stopped randomly in your day, what would you be found doing? Gods Will or your own?
Ok, so one may ask what does that mean? what does it mean to be about the Fathers business, what does it mean to do Gods will?
Not only does being about the Fathers business mean to live a life pleasing to the lord by living by His word. It also means that we take the hospitable, service oriented, selfless approach of living to build Gods Kingdom spreading the Gospel, showing the Love of Christ to others this includes working in the church in areas that we are gifted in, and being salt and light in the community.
This can be summed up well by James in James 1:27 Where it says,
Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.
Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.
This is the work that we are to be found doing. This is being about our Heavenly Fathers business!
We will go back to the main text. Matthew 19:3-6
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In a world where culture and the philosophies of the world seek to define truth we see a lot of falsities.
A big one today is centered around gender and marriage.
So the question is, what is truth and who defines it?
We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one.
And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.
that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.
God is truth, He does not Lie and He defines absolute truth.
The culture and the philosophies of the world do not define truth. Truth is defined by God, and Him alone.
As we see in Jesus’s answer in Matthew 19:5, he mentioned the truth of the fact that God made two genders in the Beginning, Male and Female and He made them to be joined together as Husband and Wife. Marriage in the eyes of God is between a man and a woman, any other construct is a rebellion against Gods design.
In verse 6 Jesus also mentions that from the beginning Marriage was to last for life, where he says what God has joined together let no man separate.
According to the institute for family studies about 40% of first marriages in America end in divorce and about 35% of Christian marriages end in divorce. In our culture another falsity has infiltrated the church, and that is that marriage is not a lifelong commitment, and if things don't go our way, then we can just break up and move on to another spouse.
This is not so.
So the question here is why is marriage and the integrity of the union so important?
Well, this answer can be found in Ephesians 5: 22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Marriage reflects Christ and the Church. Marriage points to the Gospel.
You may ask well how does marriage reflect Christ and the church? and how does this point to the Gospel?
In the beginning God created everything and it was good.
But then mankind sinned against God and this corrupted the relationship between man and God and mankind deserved Gods divine punishment. So from there on out all are born in sin and in need of a savior from Gods wrath and to reconcile mankind's relationship with the Father.
Because God loves us so much He already had a solution and that is Jesus.
Jesus came to earth from Heaven, lived a perfect life among us, and died so that we could be saved from the wrath of God and have relationship with Him dwelling with God for eternity.
In marriage a husband is to have this same selflessness for his wife, he should have sacrificial love just as Christ does for the Church.
The husband is also Head of the House just as Christ is head of the church, this should be a humble service as shown by Jesus washing His disciples feet.
The Husband also provides spiritual wellbeing and guidance to his wife, Just as Jesus provides Holiness to the church through cleansing.
The wife is called to respect and follow her husbands leadership, and this reflects the Church’s reverent submission to Christ.
As the wife submits to her Husband she is submitting to Christ through obedience to His instruction.
As you can see from the Ephesians passage married people are to give themselves to their spouse being devoted to them in this way.
This can be hard at times, marriage takes work. My wife and I have been married for what will be 15 years in November. I am blessed and thankful that when my wife and I got married we had two things in common, we were both followers of Christ, and we both held a high view of the fact that marriage is until death. The first several years had good times but were also very difficult at times. God blessed us with Biblical counselors and His Holy Spirit to shift our perspectives and to love one another appropriately and in a way that Glorified God. And now although we don’t do it perfectly we live to reflect Christ and the Church through our marriage.
God has used our marriage and He uses all marriages for sanctification. To change us to be more like Christ.
A Godly Marriage Glorifies God.
When the Bible says that the two become one flesh it is a big deal.
This means that the husband and wife are united through physical intimacy and proximity, they are emotionally linked, they are spiritually linked and they are a social unit.
This is what it is talking about in Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Because of these things it is important that we take marriage seriously and who we marry is important.
There are a few things that we should look for concerning marriage, both parties should ready and qualified.
Men and young men, God has caused us to notice woman early on and to be attracted to them, this is good and natural, but it is there for the purpose of marriage.
We should not engage with the opposite sex in any other way other then friendship unless we are ready for marriage.
If you are a man then to be ready for marriage, you should be able to take care of a wife and a family financially, able to lead the family spiritually and able to sacrifice for your wife loving her properly.
If you cannot do those thing then you are not qualified or ready for marriage and its best to leave them alone until you are ready.
Woman and young ladies, if he cannot do those things then he is not qualified, leave him alone, its for your own good.
Now if you are a woman or a young lady then in order to be ready for marriage you must be able to be devoted to your husband and able to willingly submit to him and respect him and to care for your house and children with love. If you cannot do that then you are not ready.
Men if she cannot do those things then she is not ready and its best to leave her alone even if you are ready.
In our culture people believe that casual dating with benefits is ok, that is not the lifestyle that a believer should have. Instead we date with the intention to marry, if there is no intent on marriage then we should not engage in that way.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
If you are a professing believer then the only qualified potential spouses out there are other believers, do not shop for unbelieving men and woman, remember the purpose of marriage is to glorify God and it is meant to be for life.
Marriage should reflect Christ and the Church and should point to the gospel.
Back to our main text.
They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
So here we see that Jesus repeats the fact that marriage has always been intended to be a permanent lifelong commitment but because their hard hearts they were permitted to divorce. It is the expectation of believers to honor their vows of marriage, just as in all other things followers of Christ are held to a higher standard than those who were under the law and non-Christians today.
In verse 9 we see that Jesus did say that sexual immorality is a legitimate reason for divorce although this does not mean that repentance and restoration cannot be an option.
Now concerning divorce with a believing spouse and an unbelieving spouse 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says
But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
So here we see that if an unbelieving spouse is willing to stay married to a believer then they are to stay together. But if they want to divorce then the believing spouse is to let them go.
Back to our main text Matthew 19:10-12
His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:
For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”
A eunuch is one who is unable or has chosen not to engage in reproductive activities that should only be done in the confines of marriage. So they do not marry.
Here the text is addressing something that is very important that is many times not emphasized or greatly talked about in the protestant church, this is serving God as a single person with the gift of singleness.
All believers are important to the body of Christ and God has a call for each one of us, some are to be married with children, some are to be single, and he has gifted some especially with the gift of singleness where they can dedicate their lives to Gods work.
Here is what Paul says about singleness.
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
Here we see that singleness is a gift from God, it can give a spiritual advantage by freeing the person to focus solely on serving God and singles are not second class citizens in the body of Christ. In fact, there are several very impactful singles in the Bible who hugely impacted the work of building Gods Kingdom, including Jesus, Paul, Lydia and Mary and Martha.
If you are single by choice to devote yourself to the things of God, and have the gift of singleness do not be discouraged and know that you are valued highly and have an important role in the church.
Back to our main text Matthew 19:13-15
Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” And He laid His hands on them and departed from there.
Here we see the disciples view of children, and that view was the same view that society had towards children. That they were seen as lowly and they were not esteemed or not seen as important. So since they thought this way they rebuke them attempting to keep them from Jesus.
However we see the heart of Christ here where he says, Let the little children come and he blesses them.
This is how we also should view children. Instead of dismissing them we are to bring them into the presence of the Lord. We are to care for them teaching them the truths of the Word of God and giving them the Gospel.
Often times people do not expect children to understand the Gospel or the don't expect them to be able to listen to the word of God and to engage in the services so they treat it like children are excluded.
But that is not the case. Children should be engaged in corporate services regularly, but more importantly we should be pouring into our Children at home!
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
In training our children and teaching them the way of the Lord we don't wait till they are almost adults, we start young.
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This call for Gods people to teach their children the statutes and ways of God are also applicable to Christians today.
And not only are we to teach them we are to model it with our actions and keep it on our minds.
Now back in our main text in Matthew 19:14
don't read, just slide.
But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
When Jesus says for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven he is referring to those who accept Him as Lord and Place their faith in Him. Those of the Kingdom of Heaven have open and willing hearts as the heart of a child with humility and sincerity accepting the gift of salvation through Gods Grace.
In all that we are called to do we are to Glorify God even in our marriages, in our singleness and in raising our Children our lives should point to Christ.
God values all of us and we are to Glorify God with our lives.
But there is only one way we can bring Glory to Him in all aspects of our lives. We must acknowledge Jesus as Lord and follow Him.
A marriage without Christ does not reflect Christ and the Church and Glorify God.
An individual working to accomplish their own will does not Glorify God, but when an individual is working to accomplish the Will of God then they are Glorifying Him.
If you are not a follower of Christ then you can be. If you believe the Gospel that Jesus died for our sins and rose again and you place your faith in Him acknowledging Him as Lord of your life then you will be saved.
that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
If you feel the Holy Spirit pulling at you, prodding you, convicting you then do not harden your heart, place your faith in Him.
Take Aways
Take Aways
God designed marriage to be for life from the beginning.
Those with the gift of singleness Glorify God by committing their lives to Him.
Children are to be valued and poured into.
