Dealing With Failure

Introduction

Take your Bible and turn to Acts 15:36. Today we are talking about dealing with failure. Everyone fails. Failure is inevitable, but our response to failure determines how we can move forward. Some people live in failure. They have let their failures define them, and they are so afraid of failing again that they never learn to let go.

However, God is a God the restores us. In fact, God will only work with failures. He won’t work with people that have never done anything wrong. Why? Because God cannot use them. People who have never acknowledged their failures cannot fully understand His grace. People who have never failed will never give God the praise and the glory.

But, someone who has been a miserable failure recognizes that God is God over all and that He deserves all the honor and praise.

So, today, we are talking about Dealing with Failure

How can you deal with failure in your life, and how should we respond when others fail.

Background:

Today we are in the book of Acts 15:36, but before we get to where we are going, I want to summarize what has taken place from the beginning of Acts 13, and bring us to our text today.

Acts 13 began a new era of Christianity. In the Bible, the transition from Acts 12 to Acts 13 goes from the ministry of the Apostle Peter to the ministry of the Apostle Paul. Even more notably, it moves us from the ministry to the Jewish people to the ministry of the Gentile nations.

Also in Acts 13, the Apostle Paul and Barnabas have set out on their first missionary journey. Already they have seen the opposition that comes with being missionaries and servants of Jesus. They are opposed by a sorcerer and magician, then Paul is compelled to preach the message of the gospel, only to be run out by the Jews in Pisidia.

We get to Acts 14, and in the first seven verses, we see a repeat of this persecution. Things began to heat up, the Apostles continued to preach the gospel, and then an attempt was made on their life. This caused the disciples to move on from the city Iconium to the city of Lystra.

Paul continues his work, preaching and performing miracles…but this time he would be stoned nearly to death.

Acts 14:19–20 NKJV

Then Jews from Antioch and Iconium came there; and having persuaded the multitudes, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing him to be dead. However, when the disciples gathered around him, he rose up and went into the city. And the next day he departed with Barnabas to Derbe.

As the Paul and his missionary team moved through from place to place, we see in Acts 14:21-28 that his team made sure to take their time and establish the churches in these areas. They didn’t just get converts and leave them, they made sure to go and preach the full gospel of Christ, they encouraged them to continue in living for the Lord, and then selected men to serve as overseers, which is a pastor, in those local churches.

Finally, they returned to the sending church to give an update on the work that God did during their time as missionaries.

Now, very quickly, we are in Acts 15:1-35.

in v. 1-5, there is an argument over the Jewish practice of circumcision. This argument becomes so severe between Paul and these Judiaizers that they go and see Peter in Jerusalem to have him sort it out.

v. 6-21 give the account of that conversation between Peter and those challenging Paul.

v. 22-35 give us the final result of that conversation which are:

Salvation comes by faith alone and not by works. It cannot be from circumcision or baptism, but only faith in Jesus Christ.

That we worship God in spirit and in truth, not according to the law, but according to our character. That a true Christian is known by their actions and love for Jesus, not by their outward appearance.

Finally, we get here to our text for today, when Paul and Barnabas are preparing for their second missionary journey together.

Context

Paul and Barnabas have been through so much. Just like I mentioned last week, we like to forget the emotions that are at play when we read through the Bible.

You can imagine that after a year long missionary journey where there were disputes, where Paul was almost stoned to death, and where they went to organize and mobilize churches, that these men were exhausted. Not only were they exhausted, they realized the amount of work their new calling would require.

At the very beginning of Paul’s Christian life, Jesus said this about him:

Acts 9:16 NKJV

For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.”

And boy did Paul suffer. When we get to 2 Corinthians, Paul recounts his life as a missionary and says:

2 Corinthians 11:24–27 NKJV

From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness—

Paul went through it all. If you were to ask Paul, only the committed can survive a calling from God, and those who weren’t committed, those who didn’t count the cost of service to God, they were just liabilities. Paul only wanted people who were totally committed.

Then there was Barnabas. Barnabas was a gentle soul, he was an encourager. While Paul would say, “what can you provide to the church?”, Barnabas would say, “Come on, let me show you the richness of serving God.”

Two completely different people, with two completely different ministry styles…two very good friends who are going to be ripped apart because of how they chose to handle failure.

Who was the failure? Well, it was John Mark.

Read with me today’s text.

Acts 15:36–41 NKJV

Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.” Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

I. John Mark’s Opportunity

When Paul and Barnabas were sent out on their first missionary journey, they took John Mark with them.

Acts 13:5 NKJV

And when they arrived in Salamis, they preached the word of God in the synagogues of the Jews. They also had John as their assistant.

So, Mark had a wonderful opportunity right there in front of him.

Mark was the cousin of Barnabas.

Colossians 4:10 NKJV

Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, with Mark the cousin of Barnabas.

And, in ministry, just as in all other fields of life, when you know the right people, you often times get the right opportunities.

But the world of ministry is so much different than the corporate world in that it takes serious character development. It’s not that Barnabas did something wrong by taking Mark along with them, but sometimes we are afforded opportunities that we aren’t prepared for.

That’s why, when you come into a church, it really is best to take some time and learn the people, learn the ministries, and to wait on God to show you exactly what you need to be doing before just jumping into a ministry.

What’s worse, is when people come into a church and the first place they go is into leadership.

Here’s what happens so many times in churches like ours…

We get a new person in, and they are filled with passion, and we begin to look at their outward characteristics, we begin to consider their family ties, and we begin to reason in our human minds all the ways that they are going to benefit us as a church.

However, when we do that, we cannot see their heart. And when we put people in places where they have no business being, we see the same result that we see in the life of John Mark.

II. John Mark’s Failure

Acts 13:13 NKJV

Now when Paul and his party set sail from Paphos, they came to Perga in Pamphylia; and John, departing from them, returned to Jerusalem.

Now, why did Mark leave? The Bible never says, but there is some speculation.

Many think that John Mark flat out couldn’t handle the missionary lifestyle. It was filled with conflict, it was uncomfortable.

Others think that John Mark became discontent because Paul was running the show and he naturally thought his cousin Barnabas was the more qualified leader. That Mark was uncomfortable with the Gentile believers and had some to do with the disputes that came from the Jews.

Some just say that Mark was a pampered momma’s boy and had some homesickness.

Whatever the reason was, the truth is that Mark left in the middle of the missionary journey and wasn’t cut out to finish the job.

Have you ever been there?

I’ve failed so many times, it’s a wonder that God would ever use a slacking sinner like me.

I know what ya’ll think… “Ah, that’s just preacher talk. You just think you’re a sinner, you don’t know what I’ve done…God used you because you had it together, he can’t use someone like me…a failure.”

Well, I’ll tell you that according to the Bible, you’re wrong.

In fact, most of the time, God only uses failures.

I mean, you have some examples like Joshua, Daniel, and Ruth, but most of the people in the Bible are down right failures.

David was an adulterer, Peter was a hothead who denied Jesus Christ three times, Moses was an impatient leader and murderer, Abraham was a liar, Jacob was a deciever and a trickster, Rahab was a prostitute…and I could go on and on.

There’s a story in the Bible. In Genesis 32, you’ll see the man named Jacob gets into a wrestling match with God.

The point of the story is that Jacob would never give up…the guy wouldn’t quit. He was a trickster, a deciever, and above all else he was hardheaded and just wouldn’t submit to God. So what does God do?

Genesis 32:25 NKJV

Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him.

And when your hip is bad, to some degree, you become immobile and hindered.

Now, here’s the principle, God either breaks us, or allows us to be broken, so that we will learn to lean on Him.

When we begin to lean on God, He builds us up to use us.

There are times in our lives when we get the perfect opportunities, and for some reason, for whatever reason, we just say, “I can’t do it, I’m done.” We know that it was right, we know that it was good, but nevertheless, we abandon the mission because we thought we couldn’t handle it.

And whatever the cause of your failure, you cannot keep on living in that failure, and you cannot keep repeating that failure, but you need to submit to God and learn to lean on Him.

What you keep seeking is an opportunity and it always results in your failure.

What you need to do instead is seek the presence of God, and live in obedience to Him.

Quit seeking the opportunity, quit seeking the leadership, quit seeking the glory, and begin to seek after the presence of God. It’s the only way.

We’ve seen Mark’s Opportunity, we’ve seen his failure…

III. John Mark’s Second Chance

Acts 15:36–41 NKJV

Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.” Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

Paul comes to Barnabas and says, “Let’s go on another missionary journey.”

Barnabas says, “alright, but we’re taking John Mark with us.”

Paul says, “We’re not taking that failure with us, he abandoned us once, and I’m not going to babysit him this time.”

Then their argument was so sharp, that these two men who went through hell on earth together were splitting ways.

Which one was right?

Knowing only what I know from Acts 13 to Acts 15, I would say that they were both right…but I’ll tell you in a minute why only Barnabas was right.

Here’s why, at least initially, I think they were both right.

First, Paul was right that Mark abandoned them, and probably caused some problems on his way out. Paul didn’t want to risk Mark being a flight risk and he certainly didn’t want Mark interfering in the ministry to the Gentiles.

However, Barnabas was willing to give Mark a second chance. And if I know anything from my own personal experience in ministry, we all need a second chance.

It’s probably true that Barnabas had a soft spot for Mark because he was family, but at the same time, Barnabas was his nickname because he was by his new nature and encourager. What do I mean new nature? I mean that when the man we call Barnabas was saved, that God gave him the gift of encouragement. He was always trying to give people a second chance.

I can hear him now, in that sharp argument that he and Paul were having, “Well, so what Paul, when I found you, you were a blind murderer. If God hadn’t given you a chance to prove yourself, then you wouldn’t be here either.”

Pretty serious stuff.

So, I think they’re both right.

When we fail, the only thing we can control from there on out is our own actions.

We do something that we shouldn’t have done, or we say something that we shouldn’t have said, and it costs us.

What does it cost? It costs us our reputation like it costs Mark his.

Now, thankfully he had Barnabas there to take his side, but that’s beside the point.

The point is, when we fail, when we mess up, we don’t get to determine when our second chance comes. Neither do we get to choose other people’s reactions to our failures. We fail, we mess up, we may be able to control actions from there on out, but we cannot control how other people perceive us.

So, if you’ve failed, if you’ve messed up, you need to be honest with yourself and acknowledge these truths.

Failure doesn’t define me.

The only Person that gets to define who you are is God. And what does God say about you?

First, if you aren’t a Christian, He says that you are a sinner in need of a Savior. The good news is that He sent Jesus to die on a cross for every failure that you could ever commit.

Second, if you’re born again, God says that He accepts you.

Romans 15:7 NKJV

Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God.

This means that Jesus accepts you, regardless of anything you’ve ever done. Romans 5:8

Romans 5:8 NKJV

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus knew what kind of failure you were before He ever died for you.

Third, He calls you a son or daughter.

Galatians 4:7 NKJV

Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

That as a believer in Jesus, you are an heir of all of Heaven’s riches.

Fourth, that you are valuable to Him and useful to Him.

Ephesians 2:10 NKJV

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

And there are many other wonderful things that God says about those who trust in Jesus.

So, the first truth is that failure doesn’t define you.

Reputations are easy to lose but hard to build.

If you have messed up, you cannot blame other people when they don’t trust you.

If you have exhibited patterns of betrayal, then people aren’t going to trust you with sensitive information.

If you have exhibited patterns of thievery, people aren’t going to trust you around their belongings.

If you have exhibited patterns that you are quick to begin something and quick to end it, people are not going to depend on you.

That’s what Mark was suffering from. He was quick to sign up, but was quick to quit when things didn’t go his way.

It’s not all Paul’s fault that he thought Mark might abandon them again.

Reputations are easy to lose, but hard to build.

What does it take to build back reputations?

IV. John Mark’s Reputation Restored

Paul has what he calls a son in the ministry…and his name in Timothy. Paul writes a letter to Timothy on how to manage the church, and says he wants Timothy to come see him, and he writes this.

2 Timothy 4:9–11 NKJV

Be diligent to come to me quickly; for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica—Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.

The good news is that no matter the failure, and no matter the contention in your life, that restoration is always possible when God is involved.

The final question today is, “What does it take to be restored?”

I wish I could give you an easy answer, but I can’t.

The answer is short, but the answer is hard.

To be restored, it takes a season of faithfulness. How long is that season? Well, it depends on the failure.

When a father walks away from his family, it takes, on average, 10 years before his children will consider forgiving him.

When a pastor commits a moral failure, it’s likely that he never gets in the pulpit again…but if he does, its usually because decades have passed.

When a child of God is inconsistent, undisciplined, hot-headed, and otherwise undependable, it takes time for the church to look to them for stability.

Conclusion

When you get the opportunity to serve the Lord, take it seriously and be faithful to it.

Learn from your failures, and quit repeating the mistakes of the past. The only way to do that is to quit seeking opportunities and blessings and begin to seek the presence of God through His word and through prayer.

You may get a second chance or you may not…but the truth is that reputations are hard to build and easy to lose. Scripture says that even a child is known by his doings. Walk with the Lord in obedience to Him, regardless of where you are in life.

Restoration is the heart of God. If you think that a failure is all you are, then you’ve let Satan blow out your light. The Bible says to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” God says you are accepted, that you are a child, and that you are valuable.

You don’t get to determine when you’re restored, but you do get to determine how you are going to deal with failure.

Will you live in defeat? Or will you begin to trust that God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him?