Friendship and Christian Dating

Group Activity

Discuss in groups at least 2-5 people that you spend the most time with. How do you see them influencing you?

Discuss the influence is it good, bad?

Should people hold those types of influences over us? Should they effect the way we live, talk, and act?

Often times we can struggle to find ourselves and our identity when in groups of people that are trying to influence us.

The Three Key Points to Understand

We need to understand that God designed man for

Answer is Relationships.

Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.””

We see that God does not desire for us to be alone. He does not want us to have to go through things by ourselves.

God understands that when we are isolated and alone, we stumble and fall.

We should ensure that we always have someone to talk to when things are good, and bad.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

We are stronger together. When we go through life with someone it can make us stronger.

Realize that this means the enemy knows this information too, and he will try and attack your friendships and relationships so you must be prepared.

Surround yourself with Godly friends.

We need to understand that friends can

Answer is Shape Us.

Friends can shape how we view the world or even other people

Friends can shape our identity as well.

Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

We look at influencers who have millions of followers and a seemingly endless group of friends and get jealous; however, it is better to have a few really good friends than to have a lot of friends that will abandon you at the first trial.

We cannot allow ourselves to determine value based on the number of people that surround you.

Genuine friendships provide us with worth, self-esteem, and a sense of purpose and meaning.

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Friends can shape how we love.

The Bible clearly teaches us to love one another, and if your friends are constantly talking bad about others, they may be toxic.

Realize that every person is an image bearer of God a.k.a. Imago Dei.

Have friends that will acknowledge that as the Imago Dei we should not be putting people down.

Matthew 5:22 “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”

We need to understand that

Answer is Identity is before relationships.

The Bible teaches that our identity should fully be rooted in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

John 1:12 “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,”

1 Corinthians 12:26–27 “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.”

Identity is under attack in the world today because if you forget who you are in Christ, it effects everything else in your life.

Forgetting who you are makes relationships, friendships, and just general interactions toxic and unproductive.

Never question who you are, each and every one of you is a unique Imago Dei and as an image bearer, you are loved by God.

How Do We Apply This?

Stop letting people cause you to question your identity.

These could be questions of “Am I good enough to hang out with them?” or “Why would they want to hang out with someone like me?”

These also could be derogatory thoughts about yourself that put yourself down.

Always, always, always remember, you are an image bearer of the God of the universe, and He loves all who bear His image.

Evaluate all of your friendships. If they are toxic then break them off.

There is no value to holding on to a friendship that is toxic, and tears you down.

Even though it can be hard to do, in the end, you will be thankful for doing it because there is no value to something that tears you down spiritually and physically.

Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Be a light to those who are non-Christians around you.

Being a light does not always indicate you only need to make friends with non-Christians, but it does mean that you should follow the example of Christ and call people out of their sin.

Allow yourself to reach out to those who are not Christian so you can have meaningful conversations.

Don’t always look to convert them until after you get to know them.

Discussion

What do you think is the hardest part of remembering who you are in Christ?

How do your friendships help or hurt your walk with God?

What is one step you could take this week to surround yourself with godly influences?

Gospel & Prayer

If you are sitting there thinking that you don’t have an identity in Christ, the truth is, that you may not. See without Jesus we are just left searching for worth in friendships, popularity, or achievements. But all of those things eventually fail.

The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” That means that all of your past mistakes and insecurities don’t define you anymore. Jesus does.

Through His death and resurrection, Jesus offered us a new identity: forgiven, loved, chosen, and made a part of God’s family. If you have never trusted Him or if you have never recieved Him as your Lord, you can take that step tonight. Call out to Him in prayer while we are praying, and place your trust in Him. Then, your identity will be found not in who you hang out with, but instead in the one who hung on the cross for you.

Father, thank You that our worth is not found in our friends, our achievements, or what others think about us—but in You alone. Thank You for sending Jesus so that we can have a new identity as forgiven, chosen, and deeply loved children of God. Help us to surround ourselves with friends who will push us closer to You, and give us courage to be a light to those who don’t yet know You. Remind us this week who we are in Christ, and let us live out of that truth. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Challenge

This week pick one friend- this should be someone you spend time with regularly.

Do one intentional thing to encourage them in Christ: like sending a verse, praying with them, or reminding them that you are thankful for them.