I Am Offended!

Acts 2:1–4 NLT

On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability.

Acts 2:42–47 NLT

All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

Introduction:

God desires His church to be together and set this world on fire for Him.

The enemy, Satan, wants to stop us, destroy us, and keep us from being united.

He stirs up strife amongst people by convincing them that they are entitled to be treated in a certain way. The enemy works to create false sensitivity. That means they are sensitive to the wrong things, not God’s Spirit. They are sensitive and easily offended.

When unity does happen in the body of Christ, God responds and revival fires burn.

Getting offended stops what God wants to do in and through His church.

Prayer

What is an offense? (SLIDE) (DO NOT READ)

It seems like everyone is offended these days. But what exactly is an offense?

Defined as :

offense | əˈfens | (offence British English) noun 

1 a breach of a law or rule; an illegal act: neither offense violates any federal law. • a thing that constitutes a violation of what is judged to be right or natural: the outcome is an offense to basic justice. 

2 annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles: I didn't intend to give offense | he went out, making it clear he'd taken offense. 

3 | əˈfens, ˈäfens | the action of attacking someone or something: [as modifier] :  reductions in strategic offense arsenals. • North American English (in sports) the team or players who are attempting to score or advance the ball: he is a wide receiver, playing on offense. • US English (in sports) the condition of possessing the ball or being on the team attempting to score.

offend | əˈfend | verb 

1 [with object] cause to feel upset, annoyed, or resentful: viewers said they had been offended by bad language. • be displeasing to: he didn't smoke and the smell of ash offended him. 

2 [no object] commit an illegal act: a small hard core of young criminals who offend again and again. • break a commonly accepted rule or principle: those activities which offend against public order and decency.

Lets look at what a Bible Dictionary says: (SLIDE)

Strongs: G4624 - skandalizō

to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall.

to entice to sin

to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one who he ought to trust and obey

to cause to fall away

to be offended in one, i.e. to see in another what I disapprove of and what hinders me from acknowledging his authority

to cause on to judge unfavorably or unjustly of another

So if I understand this right:

If I am offended, I am being tripped up or caused to stumble

If I am offending, I am tripping others up (We will talk more about that next week)

Are You Offended? (SLIDE) (DO NOT READ)

As a follower of Christ, should I be or get offended?

Or maybe I should ask this in light of the definition I just gave you: As a follower of Christ, how easily should I trip over a stumbling block?

Let’s look at some instruction from the Word:

Colossians 3:13 “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

I love how Pastor John Bevere states it: “A believer who is offended has forgotten what God had forgiven them of.”

He also states:

“An offended heart is the breeding ground for deception.”

Look at what scripture says:

Matthew 24:4–5 “Jesus told them, “Don’t let anyone mislead you, for many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah.’ They will deceive many.”

Matthew 24:10–11 “And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people.”

2 Timothy 3:1–5 NLT

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!

If you get offended you set yourself up to be deceived. That is not something that should be said about a follower of Jesus Christ. (SLIDE)

Grudges hurt the immune system (Piedmont)

“Living in a chronic state of tension disables your body’s repair mechanisms, increasing inflammation and the stress hormone cortisol in the body,” she explains. “Forgiveness engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your immune system function more efficiently and makes room for feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin.”

If you are tempted to dwell on an offense, remind yourself of what you are doing to your body when you run the scenario in your mind again.

“Your brain doesn’t know what is real and what is imagined,” Buttimer says. “When you replay in your mind an experience you had six months ago, your body reacts as if you’re having the same experience over and over again.”https://www.piedmont.org/living-real-change/what-does-holding-a-grudge-do-to-your-health#:~:text=“Living%20in%20a%20chronic%20state,immune%20system%2C”%20Buttimer%20says.

Mental Health Effects (Very Well Mind)

Grudge-holding can adversely impact your mental health in a variety of ways. Most importantly, harboring anger will, generally, just make you feel angrier.1 Instead of accepting and moving on from a negative experience or finding an acceptable resolution, holding on can trap you in a loop of resentment, bitterness, hopelessness, emptiness, or enragement.

Simply put, harboring negative feelings naturally makes you more exposed to these more unpleasant emotions and thoughts, which can skew your mindset toward negativity, either slowly or in a swift shift. And a focus on negativity can dampen your overall well-being.3

Reliving the negative incident and emotions over and over can be upsetting, draining, and frustrating, as nothing gets resolved or changes, except, perhaps, that you end up feeling more enraged or hurt. In fact, studies show that ruminating about an unpleasant event makes it feel like the incident happened much more recently, despite the passage of time.4

Additionally, if you ultimately exaggerate the experience or issue in your mind, which is fairly common, the act of holding the grudge may even become more painful than the event itself. And sadly, this is a self-inflicted wound that will likely just make you feel worse.

Built-up resentment and uncensored internal fury create the potential for added stress, worry, defensiveness, aggression, and negativity, which can also increase your propensity for mental health concerns, such as:5

Anxiety

Aggressive behavior

Depression

Emotional dysregulation

Other mood disorders

orSelf-harm  suicidal ideation

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-mental-health-effects-of-holding-a-grudge-5176186#:~:text=Grudge%2Dholding%20can%20adversely%20impact,4

Being offended distracts us

Being offended causes us to focus on wrong things

Being offended puts us on the disabled list - we cannot get up to bat

Sometimes offenses come from outside the church - they just don’t understand

Sometimes offense come from inside the church - Friendly Fire, loose lips sink ships

We make allowances for each other - I’m not perfect and neither are you. We make allowances for each other recognizing that we are all flawed human being.

Furthermore:

Being offended ties you to the person who hurt you

When someone does you wrong do you really want to stay connected to them?

When offenses come, and they will, don’t hold on!

Holding On (SLIDE)

Jesus gives a story to illustrate His teaching on holding on to an offense and not forgiving. Matthew 18:21-35

Peter asks the question that we all have asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

Jesus tells us this story: (SLIDE of IMAGE)

He tells of a king who decides to bring all of his accounts up to date. His officials bring in a man who owes a bunch of money. Its reported that he possibly owed 200,000 days wages. I don’t know what you get involved in to owe so much money. The amount of money owed is used to illustrate that there was absolutely no way that he could pay it back. The king ordered that he be thrown in prison along with his family. The idea here is that someone would pay up to keep him from going to prison. The man pleaded with the king and asked for time and promised that he would pay him back.The king who has the power to forgive the debt granted him his freedom. The king took the amount that was due him and forgave it. He wiped out the bill. He took the IOU and ripped it up, claiming that it was paid in full.   

Now the man was released and went to another man who owed him money and upon hearing that he could not pay, he beat him and had him and his family thrown in prison.  

The king was very displeased about how he could forgive this man of his debt and yet he couldn’t forgive even a small amount like what was owed him.  

You see the amount was most certainly due him, but it didn’t even hold a candle to the amount that he owed.

The debt that has been wiped away for you and I is an amount that we can never repay.

So when Peter ask Jesus “How many times shall I forgive my brother, 7 times? Jesus response is no, 70 X 7.    

Its thought that the ancient Jewish Rabbis taught that it was only 3 times that you had to forgive someone. After they got what they deserved.    

Jesus showed us that as long as your brother asks, you are to give.

It comforts me because 70 x 7 is 490 and thats about how many times I have probably needed to be forgiven.This equates to 1.2 times a month for my lifetime thus far. I don’t think that’s gonna cover it.   

Jesus doesn’t put any other limits on the forgiveness that the Father will give us except that He will not forgive us if we do not forgive others

Notes on Forgiveness (SLIDE)

I know I am supposed to forgive, but what about the person who doesn’t ask for it? What about the person who can’t ask for it?

C.S. Lewis insightfully wrote, “Forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.”

Did God forgive you?

Did you deserve God’s forgiveness?

Forgiving does not condone an offender’s behavior it displays your position with God.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same.

forgiveness relieves them of the debt

reconciliation restores your relationship

You can forgive and stay away but if at all possible reconciliation should be the goal

But you cannot forgive and continue to hold on to or should I say remember the sin.

Love keeps no record (1 Corinthians 13)

“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the offender to die. “

It is interesting that the word “Unforgiveness” does not exist in the dictionary. Just as a reminder, an antonym is the opposite of a word. The antonym of forgiveness is “Punishment.”

The problem is that you want someone else punished but you end up getting the punishment yourself.

Don’t keep drinking the poison!

Matthew 6:14 ““If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.”

God has forgiven me of much and I can’t afford to hold forgiveness from someone!

When you forgive, you set a prisoner free. You purchase your freedom and maybe theirs too.

You wipe the slate clean and treat it as though it never happened. This is what God did for you. He wiped the slate clean. Your sin — it never happened. For this reason you forgive and wipe the slate clean, the debt has been paid and to never be brought up again.

Altar

Is there anyone that you need to forgive? I am not asking you if there is anyone you want to forgive, is there anyone you need to forgive? Right now is your opportunity to do that. Bring it to the altar and ask the Holy Spirit to help you make that step.

In order to forgive, you must know that you are forgiven yourself. You need to turn from your own ways and turn to Jesus and let Him direct your life. This is the first step, its the step of surrender, saying yes to Jesus as Lord of your life.

If you need to forgive someone, after you leave these altars, you need to get it right with that person if you can. If you can go to that person and have a conversation. Let them know that they hurt you and see what happens. If they ask for forgiveness, you have an opportunity to forgive. If they don’t ask for forgiveness, you can choose to extend it anyway. If you do, you will set the prisoner free.

Isn’t it time? Come! Let the Lord do a work of healing today!