Dealing with Anger and Reconciliation

Introduction

When we think about the most serious sins, murder naturally comes to mind. It's the ultimate violation—taking a human life created in God's image. But this morning, Jesus is going to challenge our categories of sin in a way that would have shocked His first listeners and should still unsettle us today.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus repeatedly says, "You have heard it was said... but I say to you." He's not contradicting the Old Testament; He's revealing its deepest meaning. He's showing us that God's law isn't just about external behavior—it's about the condition of our hearts. And when it comes to anger, Jesus has something radical to say that confronts every single one of us.

Let me read our passage: [Read Matthew 5:21-26]

Matthew 5:21–26 NKJV

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26 Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

The big idea this morning is simple but challenging: True discipleship involves addressing our anger and pursuing reconciliation with one another, reflecting the heart of Christ in our relationships.

1. Addressing Anger's Authority (Matthew 5:21-22)

Jesus begins with familiar ground: Matthew 5:21-22

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’

Every Jewish person knew this commandment. It was one of the Ten Commandments, carved in stone, absolute and clear.

Matthew 5:21–22 NKJV

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

But then comes the bombshell: "But I say to you..."

With these words, Jesus claims an authority that would have been breathtaking to His audience. He's not citing another rabbi. He's not appealing to tradition. He speaks with the voice of the Lawgiver Himself.

Matthew 5:21–22 NKJV

But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

Let that sink in. Jesus places anger in the same category as murder. He's not saying they're identical in their consequences, but He is saying they come from the same root. Murder is simply anger that has grown to full term.

In the original language, the word for anger here—orgizomenos—refers to a settled, nursing anger. This isn't about a momentary flash of frustration. Jesus is talking about the anger we cultivate, the grudges we feed, the resentment we rehearse in our minds. It's the anger that hardens into hatred.

Think about it: Every murder begins with anger. Every act of violence starts in the heart before it moves to the hands. Jesus is addressing sin at its source. He's performing heart surgery, not just treating symptoms.

The progression Jesus describes is sobering:

Anger in the heart → liable to judgment

Contemptuous insults (—worthless one) → liable to the Sanhedrin "Raca"

Declaring someone a fool (—godless fool) → liable to the fire of hell "moros"

Each step represents a deepening contempt, a progressive dehumanization of another person. And Jesus says this trajectory leads to the same destination as murder itself.

Why is Jesus so severe about anger? Because anger unchecked becomes a spiritual cancer. It corrodes our relationship with God. It destroys our fellowship with others. It makes us like the evil one, who was "a murderer from the beginning."

The early church father John Chrysostom wrote about this passage: "He who is angry without cause shall be in danger; but he who is angry even with cause, if he goes beyond measure, renders himself liable to hell."

Here's the uncomfortable truth: We are all guilty. Every one of us has nursed anger. We've replayed conversations in our minds, rehearsed what we should have said, imagined scenarios where we come out on top. We've written people off, dismissed them as fools, harbored contempt in our hearts.

Jesus is calling us to examine our hearts this morning. Not just our actions—our hearts. Because that's where discipleship begins. Not with what we do on the outside, but with who we're becoming on the inside.

So let me ask you: Who are you angry with right now? Whose name makes your stomach tighten? Who have you written off as a fool? Jesus says that anger has authority over you—and it's leading you toward judgment.

But here's the good news: Recognition is the first step toward healing. Acknowledging our anger is where reconciliation begins.

2. Prioritizing Personal Peace (Matthew 5:23-24)

Jesus doesn't just diagnose the problem; He prescribes the remedy. And it's more urgent than you might think.

Matthew 5:23–24 NKJV

23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Picture this scene: You're at the temple in Jerusalem. You've brought your offering—maybe a lamb, maybe grain. You've traveled far. You're standing at the altar, ready to worship God, ready to fulfill your religious duty.

And then you remember: There's someone who has something against you. There's a broken relationship. There's unresolved conflict.

What does Jesus say? "Finish your worship and deal with it later"? No. "Pray about it first"? No.

Jesus says: Stop. Leave your gift at the altar. Go immediately and be reconciled.

This is revolutionary. Jesus is saying that reconciliation takes priority over religious ritual. Restored relationships are more important than sacrificial offerings. You cannot be right with God while you're wrong with your brother or sister.

Notice the specifics: "If you remember that your brother has something against you..." Jesus isn't even talking about when someone has wronged you. He's talking about when you've wronged someone else—or even when someone thinks you've wronged them, whether you agree or not.

The responsibility is on you to pursue reconciliation. Not to wait for them to come to you. Not to justify yourself. Not to decide whether their grievance is legitimate. Your job is to go, to seek peace, to make things right.

The word "reconciled" here—diallagēthi—means to change from enmity to friendship. It's an active pursuit of peace, not just a passive hope that things will blow over.

This would have been shocking to Jesus' audience. The temple was the center of their religious life. Offerings were commanded by God Himself. Yet Jesus says: Leave it all and pursue peace with your neighbor.

Why? Because our vertical relationship with God cannot be separated from our horizontal relationships with others. The Apostle John would later write.

1 John 4:20 NKJV

20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

You cannot worship God authentically while harboring anger toward someone made in His image. You cannot receive God's forgiveness while refusing to extend it to others.

This challenges our modern approach to church, doesn't it? We can show up on Sunday, sing the songs, give our offering, participate in communion—all while nursing grudges, avoiding difficult conversations, keeping people at arm's length.

Jesus says: No. That's not worship. That's hypocrisy.

True worship begins with reconciliation. True discipleship prioritizes peace-making over religious performance.

Let me be specific: Is there someone you need to call this week? Someone you need to meet with? Someone you need to apologize to? Someone you need to forgive?

Jesus says: Do it first. Before you come back to worship. Before you take communion next time. Before you sing another song or pray another prayer.

This isn't about earning God's favor—we're already loved and accepted through Christ. This is about aligning our lives with the reality of the gospel. We who have been reconciled to God through Christ are now called to be ministers of reconciliation to others (2 Corinthians 5:18).

The altar can wait. The gift can wait. But reconciliation cannot wait.

Because here's what Jesus understands: Unresolved anger doesn't stay static. It grows. It festers. It hardens. And the longer we wait, the harder reconciliation becomes.

Which brings us to our final point...

3. Prompting Peaceful Opportunities (Matthew 5:25-26)

Jesus concludes with urgent, practical wisdom:

Matthew 5:25–26 NKJV

25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26 Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

On the surface, this seems like simple legal advice: Settle out of court before things escalate. And that's certainly part of it. But Jesus is using this illustration to make a deeper spiritual point about the urgency of reconciliation.

The picture is of someone being taken to court by an adversary. While they're still on the way—while there's still time—Jesus says: Settle it. Come to terms. Make peace now.

Because once you get to the judge, once the legal machinery starts turning, once the sentence is pronounced, it's too late. You'll be in prison until you've paid the last penny—and if you can't pay, you'll never get out.

The application is clear: Deal with conflict quickly, before it escalates beyond repair.

We've all seen this happen, haven't we? A small misunderstanding grows into a major offense. A minor slight becomes a deep wound. What could have been resolved with a simple conversation becomes a years-long estrangement.

Why? Because we wait. We avoid. We let time pass, thinking things will get better on their own. But they rarely do.

Jesus is saying: There's a window of opportunity for reconciliation, and it doesn't stay open forever. Conflicts have momentum. They escalate. What starts as anger becomes contempt. Contempt becomes hatred. Hatred becomes permanent division.

The tragedy is that we often wait until we're already in the courtroom—metaphorically speaking. We wait until the relationship is so damaged that it seems impossible to repair. We wait until we've said things that can't be unsaid, done things that can't be undone.

Jesus says: Don't wait. Go now. While there's still opportunity. While hearts are still soft enough to hear. While pride hasn't completely hardened into stubbornness.

This is practical wisdom for every area of life:

In marriage: Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Address issues when they're small, before they become irreconcilable differences.

In friendship: Don't let misunderstandings fester. Pick up the phone. Have the awkward conversation.

In church: Don't let divisions grow. Pursue unity while it's still possible.

In family: Don't let years pass in silence. Life is too short and relationships too precious.

The cost of waiting is simply too high. Jesus warns of prison, of paying the last penny. While He may have eternal judgment in view, the temporal consequences are real too: broken families, divided churches, lonely lives, regret-filled deaths.

But here's the hope: Every moment is an opportunity for reconciliation. As long as we're still "on the way," as long as there's still life and breath, there's still time to make peace.

The question is: Will we act? Will we seize the opportunity? Or will we let pride, fear, or procrastination rob us of the blessing of restored relationships?

Conclusion: The Ultimate Reconciler

Before we close, we need to see how all of this points us to Christ.

Everything Jesus teaches here—about addressing anger, prioritizing reconciliation, acting urgently—He Himself embodied perfectly.

When we were God's enemies, hostile in our minds and alienated by our wicked deeds, did God wait for us to make the first move? No. Romans 5:8 tells us, Romans 5:8

Romans 5:8 NKJV

8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus didn't leave His gift at the altar—He became the gift on the altar. He didn't just tell us to be reconciled; He accomplished our reconciliation through His blood shed on the cross.

Every angry word we've spoken, every grudge we've nursed, every relationship we've destroyed—all of it was laid on Jesus. He bore the judgment we deserved. He paid the last penny of our debt.

And because He has reconciled us to God, we can now be reconcilers. Because He has forgiven us, we can forgive others. Because He pursued peace with us at the cost of His own life, we can pursue peace with others.

This is the gospel. This is what makes Christianity different from mere moralism. Jesus doesn't just tell us what to do—He gives us the power to do it. He doesn't just command us to love our enemies—He transforms our hearts so we can actually do it.

When you feel that anger rising, when reconciliation seems impossible, when you'd rather nurse your grudge than extend forgiveness—remember the cross. Remember what it cost Jesus to reconcile you. Remember the love that pursued you when you were unlovable.

And let that love flow through you to others.

Application

So what do we do with all this?

First, examine your heart. Who are you angry with? Be honest with God and yourself. Don't minimize it. Don't justify it. Acknowledge it.

Second, take action this week. Make the call. Send the text. Schedule the conversation. Don't wait for them to come to you—you go to them. This is costly. It requires humility. But it's what Jesus calls us to do.

Third, do it quickly. Don't put it off. Don't wait until you feel like it. Reconciliation rarely feels comfortable, but it's always right.

Fourth, trust Christ to help you. You can't manufacture forgiveness or reconciliation in your own strength. But the Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. Ask Him for the grace to forgive, the courage to pursue peace, the wisdom to know what to say.

And if someone comes to you seeking reconciliation? Receive them. Welcome them. Make it easy for them to make peace.

Let me close with this: Imagine what our church would look like if we took this seriously. Imagine if we prioritized reconciliation over being right. Imagine if we pursued peace as urgently as Jesus commands.

We would look like Jesus. We would look like the kingdom of God.

And that, brothers and sisters, is what we're called to be.

Let's pray.

[Prayer]