The King’s View on Marriage & Children (Matthew 19:1-15)

Matthew 19:1-15

The King’s View on Marriage & Children

Sunday Morning Worship, October 12, 2025

Land O’ Lakes Bible Church

Introduction

Let me invite you to take a Bible and open with me to Matthew 19:1-15. Matthew 19:1-15. If you want to use one of those red Bibles in your seat, you can find the passage on page # 979. 

As we continue our study through the Gospel According to Matthew this morning, we begin a new section. A section that covers Matthew 19-20, where Jesus will leave behind his Galilean Ministry and head towards Jerusalem. 

And along the way in these two chapters, Jesus will continue to labor to teach his disciples the values of the kingdom of heaven. For it is the proclaiming of this kingdom that has been at the center of Jesus’ ministry from the beginning.  

 Matthew 4:17

“From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.””

And as part of the coming kingdom of heaven, Jesus continues to teach how this kingdom reshapes every aspect of how we are to live. And part of this reshaping, as you can hopefully see from the title of this morning’s sermon is in regards to marriage and children. So as we read the word of the Lord this morning, let us hear King Jesus’ view on marriage and children this morning. Read Matthew 19:1-15…

Main Idea: Both marriage and children are important realities of God’s Kingdom, for in both we see pictures of the very gospel that Jesus has come to proclaim. 

God’s Design for Marriage

God’s Invitation for Children

1. God’s Design for Marriage

Marching Towards Jerusalem

V.1-2… After having finished his teaching in Matthew 18 on little ones, sin, and forgiveness, Jesus now begins his journey towards Jerusalem. A journey marked by saying that Jesus leaves Galileee and enters the region of Judea. 

In the use of beyond the Jordan, it is thought that Matthew here is giving us some sense of the route that Jesus took towards Jerusalem, that he this time did not go through Samaria, but went east and then south, before turning back west and crossing the Jordan there. That is the best guess from the language.

What is clear though is that Jesus continues to have large crowds follow him and cares for them by healing them. Presumably any who were sick or demon possessed among them. He continues to reveal himself as the compassionate savior who many flock to. 

And this is the setting given for a question that arises from the Pharisees regarding marriage. A question that will be the focus from V.3-12. On the topic of marriage there will be two questions that arise by the Pharisees, and then a third from the disciples. We will take these in the order of the text, starting with the first two by the Pharisees. 

But notice the way in which this first question comes towards Jesus regarding marriage. V.3…

An Evil Test, like their Father

As with their generations before them, the Pharisees see the works of the LORD in the second person of the Triune God, and yet they come and put Jesus to the test (Ps 95:9 allusion). A test that is emphasized so that we may know that this is not some innocent, curious question being asked by the Pharisees. 

A test that is not the first, nor will be the last. For the Pharisees previously tested Jesus back in Matthew 16:1 in their asking for a sign from heaven. They will again test Jesus twice in Matthew 22 (V.18, 35). But there is another testing of Jesus in the Gospel According to Matthew. A testing that comes back toward the beginning in Chapter 4. The testing of Jesus in the wilderness by that ancient foe, the serpent, the devil himself. 

Beloved, lets make it clear and plain, these who seek to test Jesus are meant to be picked up as the seeds of the serpent as described back in Genesis 3. The very seeds of the serpent who oppose the seed of the woman, Jesus. An opposition that continues to increase to the point of here seeking to test Jesus and create trouble for him. Because in their asking this particular question on divorce, they think they can get the crowds at least divided and some against Jesus if not all. For the people of Israel fell into two camps on the matter of divorce. 

First, there is a group known as the Shammai. This groups holds that the only way a person can divorce is if adultery has been committed. [1] Adultery being that of a man or woman who is married having inappropriate relations with someone other than their spouse. This could be a sexual or emotional act that betrays their one flesh union. 

The Second group is the Hillel. This group thinks it is appropriate to divorce much more freely. [2] They consider that even if the wife no longer finds favor in the eyes of her husband, from looks, to duties, to simple loss of interest, there is a freedom to divorce. 

Therefore in asking this question about divorce, the Pharisees hope to test Jesus before the crowd. They either hope that he falls into the trap of agreeing with the majority in the Hillel group yet seeming clearly against the letter of the law. Or, if he takes the stricter approach of the Shammi, he will offend the majority of the crowd that is now following him. 

Truly their test is evil in setting a trap for Jesus. Yet, it is a trap that Jesus avoids by cutting through their evil by going to the heart of the law, God’s design and original purpose in creation for marriage. V.4-6…

From the Beginning

Jesus asks the Pharisees have they not read. In asking this, Jesus knows that they have read the law. For as Pharisees they were meant to be the experts on the law. However, he knows that they have misunderstood the law. And so, Jesus takes them to the beginning of God’s creation here in these 3 verses revealing to us three truths about God’s design for marriage. 

1. Marriage is between male and female. 

The first truth about marriage comes as Jesus quotes from Genesis 1:27. He says that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female. A creation design that it is then this male and this female who enter into the covenant of marriage. 

This is God’s design for marriage from the beginning. A design that Jesus continues to affirm. Both for his day and now in our own. This creation design and purpose has not changed. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman. 

2. Marriage is the leaving of father and mother to cleave to one another.

The second truth about marriage comes as Jesus quotes there in V.5 from Genesis 2:24, which we read earlier in our Scripture Reading. This being that of a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh

Then turning to Genesis 2:24, from our Scripture Reading earlier in the service, and we are told that this male and female were designated to come together, the two becoming one flesh. A one flesh union that is to be a stronger relationship than even that of parent and child. 

3. Marriage is two becoming one flesh. 

The third truth about marriage then comes in this one flesh union. For the two become one flesh. In marriage, we then do not belong to ourselves, but to each other. The husband no longer is his own, but is his wife’s. And the wife is no longer her own, but her husbands (1 Cor 7:1-5). 

And as part of this one flesh union, it is never meant to be separated. For the two are now one and are not intended to be torn apart. For what man would separate his own flesh from himself? 

These are God’s designed purposes for marriage. Purposes that were given in the beginning and that the King has affirmed himself. Purposes that we are now to teach one another to follow if we too are to be disciples of King Jesus.

A 2nd Attempt at Testing and a Hardness of Hearts

The Pharisees having failed in their first attempt to test Jesus with the question about divorce, now take a second attempt to test him. This time they try have Jesus pit Moses against the law. V.7….

This question regarding Moses and his command to give a certificate of divorce comes from the book of Deuteronomy. We read in Deuteronomy 24:1–4 (ESV):

1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, 2 and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

Once more, though the Pharisees and others have read this from Moses, but they have failed to understand it. For they have missed why Moses gives this. It was not that Moses was commanding something against the law. Moses giving the command to divorce comes not as an allowance, but a provision to prevent further sinfulness in Israel. For this provision of divorce comes because of hard hearted sinners. V.8… 

Moses allowed divorce, because a great evil was taking place among the people of Israel in marriages, especially regarding the women. Culturally at that time, women would essentially not have had any rights. They would remain under their father’s house until they were married. And then once they were married, they would be dependent upon their husbands. 

We know from Proverbs, wives would have certainly been capable of being diligent, of providing for their families, rising before to care for their families. But as far as rights regarding an income or rights to end a marriage, they did not have any. 

Because of this, husbands would become dissatisfied with their wives and put them out without any writing of divorce and leave them vulnerable, but unable to marry again. And so, as a concession to care for the vulnerable here of these women who were being wrongfully put out, this law comes in as a means of guarding them from such wrongdoing.

The allowance of divorce came not because God desired it, but because of this hardness of hearts. 

We can be helped here by R.T. France’s concise summary of this. I quote:

The existence of divorce legislation is a pointer not to divine approval of divorce but to human sinfulness.

Just because divorce was allowed, did not mean that it was the design of marriage. In fact, Jesus makes clear that the allowance of divorce does not allow one to put away a wife carelessly. V. 9…

Jesus states that the only exception to divorce is that of sexual immorality. And that if one divorces their spouse for any other reason and then remarries, they commit adultery in their new marriage. 

Sexual immorality here being an act of unrighteousness against our own flesh, the one in which we have become one with. It is a perversion of this one flesh union by forsaking the union by sexually inappropriate acts. This goes not to just the physical, but even the lust within the heart as we saw back in Matthew 5. 

And so, Jesus here ends up landing where the Shammai group does. He affirms that divorce is allowed only when sexual immorality takes place. However, Jesus did not arrive here by starting with pushing the question about divorce from Deuteronomy 24, like that of the Pharisees.

No, Jesus got to this place by looking back to the beginning and God’s design of marriage and what marriage is. It is a one flesh union between a man and a woman. A union that is meant to not be separated by any. 

The Pharisees wanted to know to what end Jesus would allow people to go in divorce. But they themselves failed to see God’s beautiful design of marriage from his creation, and so even their question was from a wrong place. 

We often are guilty of the same. This comes when we are tempted to ask questions along the lines of how close can I get to this thing without being in sin, rather than understanding the purpose of what God has forbidden or called sin. It is not an invitation of get as close as you can without crossing the lines. It is a call to see God’s good design and how sin rejects this good design. How sin makes you think something is better, when it actually is more harmful for you. 

We must then look to the word of the LORD to guide us and see God’s goodness in it and seek to understand what it is his goodness is instructing us to.

For even here in the design of marriage, God from the beginning has pointed us to something greater than just even marriage itself. For this one flesh union between a man and a woman is a foreshadowing of what is to come in the joining of another bridegroom to his bride. 

I’m talking about Jesus and his bride, the church as the Apostle Paul mentions in Ephesians 5:22-33. The call to lasting, covenantal marriage in the particular way that the Lord has instructed is a picture of the gospel. GOSPEL CONNECTION…GO!

A Question on Singleness

This explanation by Jesus on marriage and limiting of divorce causes the disciples now to consider the significance of what has been said and ask their own question now. V.10…

The disciples now wonder if marriage is worth it to not be able to divorce for any reason except sexual immorality. They wonder if it would just to be better to be single? But then there is this from Jesus, V.11-12…

Jesus emphasizes here that remaining single for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is worth it. That forsaking marriage to be a eunuch for the kingdom is a good and precious thing. Marriage is beautiful, but so is being devoted wholly to the LORD and service to his kingdom! 

And there are possibly some of you who are in your youth who might be called to this calling of singleness. That the Lord gives you a contentment in your singleness to remain single and be happy in the Lord and to delight in your ability to serve the Lord in unique ways. 

But let us all notice Jesus’ words again here. He says that not everyone can receive this saying to remain single and not marry. But encourages those who do, to receive it. 

This means that there will be those who remain single and praise God for such who receive this. But for the majority marriage is the way in which they will go. Marriage that is to be defined according to the ways of the LORD. 

Marriages that are the one flesh union of a husband and wife. Where the two are becoming one and a picture of this glorious good news of Jesus. Of a husband loving and serving his wife in the ways of Christ and the wife joyfully submitting to her bridegroom as the church does to her bridegroom. 

Godly marriages display the gospel and they are to be cherished and celebrated! That’s point #1 on God’s design for Marriage. 

2. God’s Invitation for Children

V.13… Children here are said to be brought to him in the passive tense. This meaning these are not children who have simply come to Jesus on their own. They are brought by others, presumably then their parents. Parents who then wish for Jesus to lay his hands on them and pray for them. 

The laying on of hands was an older, significant act of passing on blessing and inheritance from one generation to the next. A practice that we can see done twice in the book of Genesis. 

First, we see the laying of Isaac’s hands upon Jacob, though by deceit. Isaac puts his hands upon Jacob and blesses him with promise (Gen 27:1-40). The second laying on of hands we see comes after Jacob and his family have found refuge in Egypt. As Jacob prepares for his coming death, he lays his hands upon Joseph’s two sons to bless them. Passing on the greater blessing to the younger. (Gen 48:1-20). 

These parents sought then to have this Jesus bless their children and pray over them with this same concept in mind. But the blessing being in regards to that of the Kingdom of Heaven. This kind of blessing could be similar to a child dedication in the church today. A dedicating of children to be raised up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord by the parents and the church. 

Or in our case here at Land O’ Lakes Bible Church, as members here we make a covenant promise to do this as part of our belonging to this body. We make the promise that we as this particular, assembled body of believers are committed to raising those in our care up in the ways of the LORD. Not just the parents, but all of us investing in these little ones and hoping to point them to Jesus. 

However, while these parents sought to bring these little ones to Jesus, the disciples stopped them and rebuked them. They did not yet still grasp what Jesus had said about these little ones. But he quickly corrects them here. V.14-15…

Jesus does not and will not have little ones hindered from being brought to him. For it is to these little ones he emphasizes belong the Kingdom of Heaven.

This is not something new for us, as we have just seen this play out in the whole of the previous chapter. Jesus tells us that we too must then become like these little ones in humbling ourselves before Jesus, being dependent upon him alone for our salvation.

And it is these little ones who are never no never to be hindered from coming to Jesus! And so he calls them to himself and lays his hands on them, and likely too prays for them. 

Beloved, this means that we too must ensure that we are a people not hindering these little ones from coming to Jesus. We must never become a stumbling block for them in coming to faith. Whether it is by sinning against these little ones or teaching them wrongly about what it means to come to Jesus. We must ensure that we labor to rightly teach them that salvation comes by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone at a young age! We must labor that we do not shrink back from declaring to them the big truths of who God is early and often. 

We must not hinder them from coming to Jesus by begrudging them in our midst or being unwelcoming of such little ones among us. Let us never be those who complain of little ones, even if they are making a bit of noise and are a bit disruptive among us. For that noise and disruption is a welcome and precious sight as these little ones are hearing the truths about Jesus while they are young. 

And finally we must not neglect to pray early and often for these little ones salvation. We must be a people who are on our knees praying for them to come to know our Redeemer, King Jesus!

But now children, I want to speak directly to you for a moment! Do you hear how this Jesus that we talk much about here at church wants you? He doesn’t just want your moms and dads hearts. He is not just interested in them. He is interested in you! He loves you! He is calling you little ones and young ones to himself! For as that familiar children’s hymn goes:

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so; little ones to him belong; they are weak but he is strong.

Little ones, Jesus loves you! And he invites you in your youth and in your weakness to come to him. For though you are weak, he is your strength! To Jesus you belong! And it is my prayer that you come to Jesus young for the forgiveness of your sins as you remember now and always that Jesus loves the little children of the world and forbids any from hindering you from coming to him!

So, hear the invitation from Jesus to come to him! An invitation for all the little children, whether young or old. Jesus would not have you hindered from coming to him. He welcomes all who will humble themselves before him and come to him and find their rest in him. I’ll be here to talk after to any who would like to know more about what this looks like. 

Conclusion

As we close, let us then see how both children and marriage are to be shaped by the King! They are both valuable and important. They are both essential to the Kingdom and its purposes. And they both are pictures of the gospel. Marriage is a picture of the gospel in displaying our union with Christ. And children are a picture of the gospel in that it is these little ones who the Kingdom belongs to! Those who are brought to Jesus and are dependent upon him for blessing and honor and glory!

Let’s pray!

Endnotes

[1]   Leon Morris. The Gospel According to Matthew: PNTC Commentary Series. (Grand Rapids, MI, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1992) 480.

[2]   Leon Morris. 480.