Bitterness & Joy

Introduction:

Get to ans. YOUR Qs about life, faith, afterlife, etc.

Lst. wk: Satan & evil… NO 1/3 PRIMORDIAL FALL

Don’t question *everything* you know; you were taught!

HOWEVER > it is good to study scrip. for ‘self!

FACT-CHECK ME! It’s noble…

Acts 17:11–12 “Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. As a result, many of them believed…”

Be NOBLE, like the Bereans!

Q#06: “Will I know my loved-ones in heaven?”

1. Heaven is not the goal… resurrection is!

2. Scripture isn’t clear about what the NH&NE is like. NOR what the dead know

(poetic/parabolic) - Laz & rich man

Mark 12:24–25 “Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.””

1 Samuel 28, witch @ Endor — ghost of Sam seems to know what’s going on. Also, rlly bad thing!

Cloud of witnesses (Heb 12) not speak’g/see’g

Revelation 6:9–10 “When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?””

a. Perhaps our love will keep us connected??

1 Corinthians 13:8, 13 “Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away… 13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

NT Wright - 1Cor 13; hope, faith, love

Next Q I was ask’d segues us right into the main theme I want 2 addr. today…

Q#05: “How can heaven be heaven if some people we love don't make it there? What if we don't want our tears wiped away or forgotten?”

Reminder: Resurrection is the be-all end-all in scripture!

First, a caution: Don’t be too quick to judge who's with the Lord and who’s not.

We do not know the state of a person’s heart at any given moment; even moments before death!!

Matt 25 > surprising judg’ts!

Second, grief is RIGHT… this side of glory.

It is not wrong to be sad & grieve a loved-one who we’ve lost & does not appear to have received JC.

In fact, SHOULD be saddest thing. :(

More on this in a bit…

Third, the tear-wiping is for our benefit, not our loss. 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11

1 Thessalonians 5:9–11 “For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are [alive] or [dead], we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

While may sound impossible or b’wards to some1 strug’ng, God has ult. joy in mind for fut.!

And, good or not, grief is HEAVY, a BURDEN, TRIAL, difficult…

Grief - WEBSTR: “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement/ loss

uncontrollable, but defeatable!

Fourth, JESUS is the prize… 1 Thessalonians 5:10

Loved-ones are a bonus!

1 Thessalonians 5:10 “He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.”

Ideally, we should make peace w/ even hardest loss in life.

The Hope in JC should encompass ev’th’g we are/do

Big’st fear for this questioner: unres’ved/proc’ed grief turn to bitterness

Bitterness takes root when we try to handle grief instead of ultimately letting God take care of it.

Romans 12:18–19 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

Bitterness against God can quickly turn into depression or insecurity

I think the Church today needs to rediscover >

Practicing Lament

the last question could probably get together with this questioner and share in laments!

Q#14: “How do I deal with anger and resentment I feel toward God's plan? … How can I come to terms with what I feel is an unfixable injustice; one that, even in heaven, doesn't feel like it can ever truly be made right?”

[when my parents who followed him are gone and my children are left without grandparents- while other family members who don't live for God or for good are still alive and get to enjoy those blessings?]

[I feel jealous sad and at times full of venom that something so common was taken from me and my family and there is no way it can be fixed. I don't see the good in it and at my core probably won't ever feel right within what its purpose it is too great a cost for me. :( ]

Such pastoral Q. PREFACE.

Obv. my advice/sermon will be general, univ.

But this bitterness, depr. ideally walked out in Xian/pastoral counsel’g.

Let me say: U NEED some1 to walk by your side with this; pref some1 who is fill’d w/ HS & loves JC very much

JD “Grief demands a witness”

Fullfill AP’s cmd:

Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

We’ve more normalized sitting with some1 and talking about loss, disapp., grief

‘Third-wave’ Psychology touches on some very Bib. ways of coping act’ly!

How’v’r there is Bib. trad. that enhances modern counseling prac! LAMENT.

How do I LAMENT?

Lament is practiced all throughout script. Most psalms condsid. LAMENT Pss!

Pss consid. the prayer book of Isr. —communal & pers.

Entire book called Lamentations!

Lost art in highly indiv'ic society.

Culture said for long time: “Grin & bear it. Tough it out. Fake it ‘til you __. Suck it up, buttercup.”

That thought more akin to Darwinism than Xianity!

Jewish trad. called Lament.

Interes'ly: benefits overlap with modern 3W psych. practices.

Lament provides us pathway to navig. grief & trauma—& not just alone!

Worden’s 4 Tasks of Mourning, reframed to honor Bib. ideals… >>

Accept the Reality of the Loss

One way Lament opens for us to deal with grief is by accepting it.

When we live in denial of a loss or trauma that has occurred, it actually causes us MORE distress down the line.

“Grin & bear it” wont’ have you grinning in long run.

It’s dishonest to reality and to your body’s understanding of what hapn’d

Often turns into irrevocable bittern. or insec. or other mental health iss.

Walking this out, Job accepts his fate & even honors God who he blames:

Job 1:21 “and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.””

In this amazing display of faith, Job ackn. 1. God’s sove’ty; 2. His frailty; & 3. The anguish he’s experiencing.

Talking about or writing down the pain or the loss in your life is a step toward coping.

Prayer is good way to walk out this step, but you need people to talk with also!

Denial will only lead to more issues.

Feel the Pain of the Loss

Another way that we desperately avoid but also leads to healing is EXPERIENCING the PAIN of the loss.

Feeling the pain and admitting or or accepting it are closely related

Worden calls this ‘processing' it through.

Part of processing is to actually name the emotions you felt or are still lingering: Lamentations 3:19-20

Lamentations 3:19–20 “I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me...

The author of this amazing prophetic book does not hide from the loss XP in the destruction of his holy city Jerusalem.

but wades into it with strength and bravery!

His conf. is always in YH, but that’s getting ahead of ‘self.

We need to have moments wherein we XP the pain of the disapp. or loss in a safe space

We are encouraged by the Psalmist:

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

There is a special closeness afforded to us in times of grief.

YH is especially watchful over us when we are mst struggling.

Adjust to a New World with the Loss

Another bout of accepting happens on the other side of loss/pain…

We have to accept this new world we’ve been handed!

The exampe that Jesus gave is the ideal

2 Corinthians 4:14, 16 “We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself… Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”

Despite my greatest trial, what’s left is still good and full of blessing!

Even in great loss, extreme grief, Jesus is mak’g resurec. life happen in you

In wake of pain, there is still good to be seen in the world. Creation beckons!

Accept reality; feel pain; adjust to new world… >>

Find Ways to Redeem the Loss in the New World

Here’s where our scriptures provide a TON of hope

In fact, a lot of Xians I know skip over the admitting there’s a problem stuff & go straight to the hope.

Not the MOST helpful, but underst.

Aside: I ackn… can’t go around being misr. all the time?! Not attractive; no friends! But need to provide spaces to do so bc it’s healthy! No outlet, less healing!

Gratefully, we have an everlasting hope in the person of JC!

There is a great deal of hope in that, even because of my struggle, in the very way I’ve struggled, God can use to bring about great good!

2 Corinthians 4:17–18 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Jeremiah makes this amazing stat’nt of faith in the midst of his lamentations:

Lamentations 3:20b–24 “My soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.””

God paitiently helps us.

He is still good. Victor. Our champion. King of Glory. Worth of all honor!

We still have a reason to worship Him even in our pain!

Because we know that he is able to work it out for our good & His glory!

Read Devotional on Lament

Strength in Joy!

Q#04: “What examples in the Bible help support that joy exists? There is happiness at times but I feel joy (lasting joy) is a Unicorn!”

Joy is not a passing happiness but, as the Questioner asks, a lasting undercurrent of faith/trust.

Joy is something that the Lord brings bc he is faithful and true.

It’s also a fruit of the Spirit.

If you’re struggling with finding joy, i’d first recommend taking inventory of your spiritual prac. & devotion time.

Also, I think Joy is a choice…

Choose Joy!

When faced with the fears or insec. of this world, we can choose to dwell and simmer on or set up camp on those fears

OR we can choose to trust God and let His Spirit

Here’s how Christ can be our example:

Hebrews 12:2 “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

In his most humiliating and painful hour, AoHeb. says he looked toward the joy of completing God’s plan and welcoming all nations in as family

— that gave him joy!

Nehemiah 8:10 “Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.””

Sometimes, a changed perspective can do a lot of work to us maintaining joy!

Who or what are you dwelling on, looking to, for your security & peace?

CLOSING

If you’re walking through or STILL have lingering anxiety over grief or loss, please talk to someone - not family - Xian who can challenge & encourage you.

We have partnership with FCC to discount Xian counseling sessions. I am NOT trained like they are.

I also know another Xian counselor at a diff. off that I could rec.!

Put your trust in God trhough it all.

Your inner feelings will try to keep you safe; but not accurate.

Your intuition only gets you so far.

Trust & follow out God’s word.

Find HEALING for ignored trauma and loss.

We are better servants and Christians and parents and friends when we don’t ignore past hurts but head right through them with others!